Toddler Dressing Himself

forget the games, forget the tricks, forget "dancing" to his tune.....

You are parent, hear you roar......

That said, he gets 2 choices & that's it. Either he picks from the 2 or you do.

I highly recommend watching the "1-2-3 Magic" video to learn how to gain control & keep it! You can parent without the drama......

Sounds like my husband,,,(only kidding).

Let's face it we all have certain clothing that we like - it's comfy, we like the way it looks, we think we look cool in it.

First - set up expectations in advance. As the week goes by tell him that when he goes to _____ (church, out to dinner, etc.) that he is going to wear nice clthing, acknowledge that you know he doesn't always like to wear other clothing but that he's getting to be a big boy now and he needs to dress and behave like one. Tell him that you know he can do it and you're going to be so proud. Remind him a few times. Kids will usually live up to our expectations.

Consider taking him shopping with you so he can be involved in buying something that he thinks looks cool. For whatever reason kids get these ideas about what's cool based on what other, older kids are wearing. Maybe it was a older kid at church, in the neighborhood, an older cousin, someone on TV, whatever. So give him some control in buying new clothes if you can. Just give him the guidelines in advance. For example my kids know that I won't let them wear clthing with skulls - so after a number of attempts to pick out shirts or sweatshirts decorated with skulls, and me saying no, no, no my son has finally given up. Make sure he knows what you are going to Target, WalMart, Old Navy, etc to look for.

Also - some clothes are itchy and uncomfortable. My kids always have a problem with tags. We cut out any offending tags. I don't need to know what size it is or who the manufacturer is. I need my kid to be willing to wear the shirt or pants.

Lastly - he will grow out of this phase - but into another unfortunately. We need to find a way to let them have some control but also comply with our guidelines. My middle school son will no longer wear a traditional winter jacker becuase it's not cool. So I ended up buying him a sweatshirt with furry lining. He's warm so I'm happy and he thinks he looks cool so I'm happy. It didn't cost any more than a normal winter coat - so we compromised. It is clearly not my first choice - but it will do.

Good luck mama - this parenting stuff presents all kind of dilemmas - we can only hope that we handle it all correctly...!

Do any of the things he likes have the tagless thing? Do the things he refused to wear HAVE tags? My son and daughter both were very irritated by things like that. My daughter is still picky about clothing if it has elastic in it anywhere. Just more sensitive to that sort of thing.

Maybe you could remove the clothes he will wear (bag them up) and tell him they are dirty and don't fit and he must choose something else. Then see what he chooses. Just make sure that the clothing you don't want him to wear is physically gone... not just being told he can't wear it. He might agree to go shopping for more clothes with you.

Our rule is that our DD can pick her clothes out for regular days, but for pictures/church/going to grandma's, we pick them out. She likes that she can pick her own clothes most of the time, and she knows the rule and rarely fights us anymore. But she can also only pick out clean clothes, so if all the pants she loves are in the wash, she has to wear jeans and she looks all through her drawer, but eventually wears what's clean.

You got some good ideas from the other moms. But you shouldn't give up or give in. Pick your battles. When you want your son to wear a different outfit then do it. Don't have a battle and then give in and let your son wear whatever, that will just teach him that if he fights long enough he will get his own way. Sit out the outfit a day early and repeatedly tell him he has to wear it. When the time comes, he HAS to wear it. Start early so you won't be late and if he starts to have a temper tantrum walk away. Take away his toys or tv or whatever until he puts on his clothes.

I had a battle like this the other day with my 2 year old daughter. I was putting snow pants on her and she just wanted to wear a pair of sweats out in the snow. Now while it really didn't matter which one she wore, i had already told her she was wearing the pants and so i couldn't back down. She screamed and threw herself down on the ground kicking...i told her she had to wear those pants or she wasn't going outside. Then I ignored her and walked away and soon she went outside happily playing in the snow.

the thing is, you just can't give in affter you make a decision. If you are not going to fight him and let him wear his clothes, then its a decision that YOU need to make AHEAD of time. The battles will continue for a little while, but once he learns that he's not going to win, they'll eventually stop.

Get all those old clothes out of sight. If he has to wear a certain one to bed, after he falls asleep change him into a different outfit. Make them all gone and you don't know where they are.

When you dress him for church, consider making it a game. "Son, daddy has special dress pants on. Can you find a pair of special pants for yourself?" See if he'll bite and pick out clothes to be like Daddy.

There have been times when I've told my daughter, "You have to wear this dress for now. When it's time to take the dress off, you can choose whatever you want." Sometimes we'll pack the outfit in her diaper bag to "prove" that I'll let her wear it....and then she'll wear the dress all day anyway.

Are the clothes similar to what he already wears? If not, consider buying another pair of blue sweatpants to replace the small ones. Does he ever go shopping and pick out outfits?

My stepkids also have an aversion to tags. Do the new clothes have tags he might be irritated by? A lot of kids are big into what feels most comfortable. I'm not surprised his favorites are sweatpants.

And, sometimes, bribery helps. "Wear this and you can have a pop tart for dinner."

Let him wear what he wants for pictures if he is so set on a certain outfit!! At least you will get a true, genuine smile! Plus it will be a WONDERFUL story later....ESPECIALLY if his pants stop 3" above his ankles and his long sleeves hit his mid-arm! (Think Blackmail Pictures!) Eventually he won't be able to get those clothes on and off over his head, so he will have to give in. I promise he will not be wearing them next year! :o)

As far as getting him to wear other clothes or nice clothes, have him with you when you shop for them. Give him choices, and let HIM choose! Hold up three (acceptable to you) outfits and ask WHICH one he wants, not IF he wants one. If he really doesn't want any of them, pick three more, but don't do this all day. Let him know he can HELP you choose, or you will choose FOR him.

I have a friend that told me when her son was around 3-4 years old, he would not leave the house without a Thomas shirt on! He had three, so she was constantly doing laundry. She tried something else and the battle took longer than doing a quick load. "Pick your battles" is indeed good advise to live by!

could be a texture thing. my niece refuses to wear jeans or anything scratchy. she only likes sweats or leggings. nothing tight on her stomach and rarely wears dresses. they try to find soft cotton clothes for her and she will usually wear them.

Look for soft clothes and see if that helps.

Is some of it a texture/sensitivity issue? My son is a lot like this, for the longest time would only wear one shirt(which I ended up washing almost daily). I have found with him long sleeved character t-shirts and sweat pants are the way to go. After a year of wearing only one shirt, he has finally expanded to multiple character shirts. We do choose his clothes and socks the night before. On socks you might try ordering some of the "seamless" on-line, or try finding socks with minimal seams; also avoid socks with loose strings on the inside. We had the same Christmas picture issue. In combination with forcing dress clothes on him, I also told him if he wore them for this one day that he'd never have to wear them again. There were some tears and screaming, though he finally calmed down when I told him it would be the last time to wear the outfit. We got lucky and he did end up smiling for his pics. Every time the photographer told him "NOT to smile", he would let out a huge smile.

maybe you should get rid of the clothes that are getting too small so he no longer has those as options. then from there he can pick what he wants as long as its clean. maybe do: he can dress himself when he's just gonna be at home, but if you have to go somewhere, you get to pick out his clothes, and he can put his favorites back on when he gets home. Or give him a certain day of the week that he gets to pick out his clothes so he can look forward to that day each week. My son is going to be 3 in about 4 months and luckily he lets me pick out his clothes everyday, but I encourage him put them on himself and help him if he's struggling and wants my help. Rarely (maybe once a week) I'll pick out a shirt that he doesnt want to wear (usually bc its a button-up or too many layers) and I usually just pick a different one and he's ok with it.

he's 2 who cares what he wears! i was never one of thsoe people who dressed up for church, God doesnt care what you wear.as for the clothes not fitting him, have you tried taking him to the store and letting HIM pick out clothes. he might just need to feel in control

I feel your pain...as I am sure lots of other mama's on here do.

My daughter is very much like this. She could be the opposite though. She has gone through phases of not wearing this color or that color. But the biggest thing is she loves, loves, loves dresses and skirts. She will not wear shorts. And the only type of pants she'll wear are jeans, but even then sometimes fights me on those. She also hates socks. I've fought her on somethings, like socks, I make her wear those. We've fought threw the battles. And then on other things, I've just accepted it. I don't buy her shorts at all.

I know a cousin of mine can't get her son to wear anything but pajama's. Her sister finally gave her the idea of buying shirts/clothing for him and pretend they are pajama's. I think this has worked for her.

I think its wise to choose and pick your battles. If he likes the comfy sweats then buy him some more like it, even if interested, have him help you pick out new clothing. Explain that he can no longer wear his favorites because they are too small. I fight with my daughter on the socks, because its cold here in Michigan and she needs to wear socks. After a few weeks, she just goes with it. It's hard at first, but eventually she caves.

Good luck!

You could just give up and let him dress himself in whatever he wants and praise his effort to be more independent because this phase will eventually pass and it truly isn't a big deal. You could continue to let him wear those clothes, even though they don't fit well anymore, or you can just get rid of them and explain that those clothes were too small and that since he is more of a big boy now that he needs some big boy clothes. Make sure that his old clothes are gone or at least out of his sight and present the new clothes and tell him that those are the ones he can choose from now.

My daughter is 4 1/2 and she is much better now but when she was your son's age she was the same way. What kind of worked for us was if I pulled out two shirts and two pair of pants and let her pick which ones to wear. Sometimes she matched and sometimes she didn't but it really didn't matter to me. Sometimes she would just pick something and be happy and other times she would refuse to pick anything which meant that I got to choose.

They're only little once. Take lots of pictures when he dresses himself in silly and mismatching outfits so you can look back as he gets older and laugh about it together. ;)

My 2 cents is to let him make his choices. When he's older is plenty of time to try to explain the differences between different social situations.

Some kids are really sensitive to textures, particularly clothes, and if this is the main thing that he exerts his control over, I say let him.

You might think about taking him to the thrift store and helping him pick out new (3T size) clothes--I bet if you can get him to pick them in the store, he'll wear them.

For formal stuff--maybe try getting some khaki colored or black colored sweats. Also, see if you can have him feel the fabrics and see if that is what the problem is--my in-laws bought my son some super soft long sleeve tees from Kohls; and flannel shirts, especially for kids are usually super soft; sometimes cords can be really soft too.

If at all possible, maybe try to find out what he likes best about those particular clothes (texture, feel against his skin, color, cartoon character?)

You are the parent - so if you want him to wear something different for Church or pictures then he wears it. I have a 3 yr old girl and she did the same thing - except it was one outfit. THen she was just happy getting her clothes on herself. You have to set the standard here - you can explain to him that some days he can pick out his clothes and get dressed and there are days that you are going to pick out clothes and he will wear them. If you continue giving in when he throws a fit then he will continue in this way. If his favorite clothes don't fit then they shouldn't be put in his drawer for him to choose from - you need to get rid of them. If it's really not that big of a deal to you, then just let him continue and he will quit.

This is a result of toddler's need to control and also predictability. I posted on here a few months back how my son wont wear any zip ups. Guess, what, a month later no issues at all. This is a phase but I understand why its upsetting. Have you tried to get the same clothes in a larger size? I would respect that he has a preference (ie, the sweatpants) and buy him similar styles in larger sizes. What if he goes shopping with you? What about a special treat if he wears what you give him? You could also play the "my turn" game where he picks something out and then you pick something out. Don't worry, it wont last forever!

What happens when his favorites are dirty? I would explain to him that those clothes are dirty and he'll have to choose something else until they are clean again. Take him shopping and let him pick out a few new items - that you'd be happy to see him wear everyday! Do wash his favorites reasonable often, but don't wash every night just so he can wear the same thing the next day. My 4 yr old attends a private preschool with uniforms. Last year in 3 yr old preschool, she wanted to wear her "school dress" jumper everyday. She had two of them and I let her wear them, then told her she had to wear something else until they were washed. She sometimes wore the jumpers 3-4 days a week, but she did accept that when they were dirty she had to choose another outfit. She's a very girly girl and would wear Strasburg dresses everyday if I let her. For Sundays and special occasions, we choose an outfit together the night before. When she wants something inappropriate, we talk it through with me telling her why she can't wear it and when she can wear it - like when we get home from church, she can put on whatever she wants to, but she has to wear something else to church. This can take quite a while is why we do it the night before and I get everything she'll laid out together before she goes to bed.

My almost 4 y/o son is the same way! He was always a little particular, mostly on shirts (no buttons or zippers), but now he's gone with only sweatpants. Shoes are particular too. I think this is one area where they have control so they make sure they exert. I just let him do, as long as it's weather appropriate. I've seen plenty of kids this age in church dressed in sweatpants too, so I don't think it's uncommon. And like you said, I've got more important battles to fight with him ;-). I've resorted to only buying clothes and shoes for him when he's with me to pick them out, and so far that's worked really well. Good luck!