My 5 Year Old Son Won't Wear Anything in His Closet!!!

Updated on February 06, 2009
M.B. asks from Plainfield, IL
8 answers

I'm really needing some suggestions. My Son is refusing to wear any of his shirts in his closet. (I know, could be worse issues) It's just getting alittle out of hand. Every morning it seems, he'll say, "I don't know what to wear"?? I point out to him what I think he should wear and he refuses. He'll try on several shirts and then complain about each one, could be the tag bother's him (which I've used medical tape on his twin sister's tags and it keeps it from scratching her back)or the sleeve bother's him. Now he does have three shirts that he'll wear that all have like, Iron man on it, hotwheels, etc. I try to explain to him that he is very fortunate to have the clothes he has (which he has much more then my Husband or I ever had).

I've tried putting a rubbermaid container in his room and everytime he doesn't wear something he hasn't worn in months I take one item away. It's not working. Which his Sister was having the same issue, wearing the same clothes over and over and once I brought out the container she started wearing clothes that were just sitting in her closet. Thank goodness preschool is not until noon for him.

Any suggestions?? He has about 10-15 shirts. Alot are from last fall/winter because he just hasn't grown much and of course this year when I went to get clothes for his Sister for school, I bought a couple more for him. It's such a waste of money if he dosen't wear the clothes we buy for him.

HELP.. I'm at my last rope with this little man!! I thought it was the girls that had this kind of issue.

I think I have a teenager stuck in a 5 year old body on my hands.

Thanks for any input.
M.

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

My son hateed switching from long sleeves to short when he was younger. He would try to pull the sleeves down. When I would change him, he would have a fit. When he was 4 he didn't want to get dressed at all. I started getting him dressed for the day by saying how awful a shirt (or pants)was and how he couldn't possibly want to wear it. It worked. Maybe reverse psych will work for you.

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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

Here's what I did. My 7-year old was giving me problems when she was six about her clothes. She would do the same thing, if we made her wear something she didn't want to she'd act like the shirt was killing her. Of course there wasn't anything wrong with it.

I told her that she needed to wear clean clothes in our house, that was the rule. Once the clothes she liked were dirty she had to choose from the ones that were left (I removed the dirty clothes from her room as well as everything that was out of season.) I set a timer for 5 minutes and that's how long she had to find something to wear and put it on or else she'd lose a privilege (usually TV). It only took one time of her losing TV for her to decide to get dressed in the 5 minutes. I didn't focus on the clothes so much as the rule of wearing something clean. Lectures about money and being "lucky" of course did nothing. So I made getting dressed about "clean clothes" instead of what she was actually wearing. I told her I didn't care what she was wearing, as long as it was clean. And if she said "I don't like any clothes in the closet" I said "I understand that you don't like the clothes in your closet but those are your choices. You have to wear something clean. Now start."

If she came out wearing something that totally didn't match I let it go. At least she was WEARING the clothes! Pretty soon it wasn't a problem anymore her picking clothes so then I started on the matching part. She would choose the shirt, I would chose the matching pants (since she mostly has jeans it's not a problem everything matches!)

Now she's totally changed and she wants me to help her pick out matching clothes so she looks good for her friends. Kids are weird!

I think why it worked is I gave her full responsibility and I didn't play the game of trying to get her to wear a certain something. She just had a deadline to figure it out and that was it. Plus, I removed all dirty clothes and anything I didn't want her to wear so no matter what she chose it was the right choice. Win-win!

Good luck. It is a phase and will pass :)

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

M., Here is a slightly different approach to this. Have him on sunday night choose the outfits (shirts) for the 5 upcoming days. stack them on his dresser. not in the closet. some kids just can't handle the choices of too many clothes. Then when its time to dress each day you just have him pick from those 5. He is old enough to understand the concept. Also ask him does he want to try them on on sunday so he knows what fits well. Remind him to try them on as many times as needed to make sure it fits as your not going to have the fashion show on weekdays where he puts them on and off. We did that for my youngest son when he was smaller. Just set up the 5 outfits for the week on sundays and then he had only those 5 to choose from. its even better if the pants can be mixed and matched for those 5 days. totally alleviates some of the stress. Good luck.

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P.F.

answers from Chicago on

My son had his favorites and still does, he is 9. I let him wear what he wants. I tell him it must be clean but he is not allowed to come down and eat breakfast until he is dressed. He refuses to wear long sleeve shirts, even in this cold. I gave in there. If he doesn't get cold then so be it. Giving him control took the arguing out of it.

As I figure it. He has the rest of his life to wear what is expected of him. So for these few years he can wear what he wants but it must be clean. Trust me he never matches, except on picture day :)

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R.

answers from Chicago on

My son is only 3, but he has been wearing pj's for about 5 months now. I pick out clothes, but he never puts themon. I figure I'm not going to fight him on it. He does change, but only from one pair of pj's to another. He actually changes them about 3 times a day. He does get dressed when we have to go ut to a restaurant or something, but then gets changed the second we walk in the door. I'm sure he will outgrow it, so I'm not worried. I mean I take him to the mall, stores, etc. in jammies and it's not hurting anyone, so no big deal. I know a major thing is superheroes. He only wears superhero jammies, so I know that's a big part of it. He does have superhero clothes, but they aren't matching like his pj's. So, you're not alone, it will eventually change to something else.

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F.R.

answers from Chicago on

Same situation here with my 5 yrs old daughter. The night before school, i ask her to pick her own outfit for school. If i tell her what to wear, she tells me right away if there is wrong with it and we pick something else. Sometime she refuses to wear new cloths just because she doesn't like the design or for some other reasons. But i tell her that this is same style that Hannah Montana or Miley Cyrus wear (her fav) and this trick always works for me and she happily agrees to wear it. So you can also relate the style or outfit to his favourite character, he might wear it.

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W.S.

answers from Chicago on

M. -

My 5 yr old is the same way - she does not want to wear anything that does not feel comfortable to her (soft and lightweight). And this phase happens to boys too.

I lay out two outfits on her bed and then tell her she can choose which outfit she prefers from the two (and I do not give-in she MUST wear one of the two). But I try to lay out things that I know she likes - instead of making her wear heavy sweaters or sweatshirts I layer cotton t-shirts under long-sleeved lightweight tops and this seems more comfortable to her.

Oh, and let's not even start about shoes... haha .. you are not alone mama! It is definitely a phase :-D

My son (now 19) went thru a phase where he would wear his Power Rangers Halloween Costume EVERY DAY at age 5 - and I mean every day! It is def not just a girl issue altho I do think boys might tend to outgrow it quicker.

- let him wear those favorite 3 shirts as long as they are clean - all too soon he will be all grown up and you will give anything to see him in those little shirts again.

Meantime.....think "resale shop".

;-)

W.

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

I'm sorry, but I don't think it's a big deal for your kid to wear the same three shirts all the time. He could have sensory issues with the tags. A lot of new t-shirts don't even have tags.

My middle daughter will complain to me about clothes feeling "funny" or uncomfortable. I'll let her wear the same things a few days in a row (as long as they aren't super dirty). Obviously, when things are in the laundry, she has to wear something else. I also have given her a bigger hand in picking out and trying on her clothes. That has helped tremendously. "You picked out these pants and tried them on. You're going to wear them."

It might just be that once you let it go, he'll wear his other clothes. Good luck!

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