Help Moving to New Area and Kids Adjusting

Hi D.,

I can totally empathize with you on this. Moving is tough for kids, even when we KNOW it is the right move for our families.

For us, 20 minutes is nothing... still basically the same place, but for kids it's huge: new school, new neighbors, new ice cream shop, etc.

We moved to Maryland from California two years ago when my son was 5. Here's what we found helpful that'd I'd recommend:

1) If you can get to the new place at least a few weeks before school starts, do it. Call the school and find out what daycare/aftercare/rec-center most kids attend... then call that place and get them in to daycamp for the last two weeks of summer. They'll get a chance to meet the kids they'll see at school when it's all FUN. They'll walk into school on the first day already knowing several friends.

2) Make finding their new faves a priority. If they love walking to the donut shop on Saturday mornings (that was our thing) get a version of that going RIGHT AWAY, so they start to have things they love in the new neighborhood.

3) Go to the park, library, pool, etc. in the NEW neighborhood. Since it's only 20 minutes it would be easy to pack up and drive back to their old stomping grounds... which you can do sometimes... but while they adjust to the new place, help them get to know it by sticking close to your new home. Just like with daycamp, if you stay close to your new house, they're likely to meet kids they'll see at school.

4) Call the school. Since they aren't entering Kindergarten, there's probably no kind of "welcome" event or orientation for them. Ask the school if there is a day this summer you and the boys could come by and tour the campus. They'll be a lot more comfortable day one if they know where the bathroom is, how to get from class to the cafeteria, their lunch # etc.

5) Remember that this is the RIGHT move for your whole family. Keep it positive (not apologetic) and they'll do fine.

Because it's summer, I would enroll them in local swim lessons or some activity where they can start making new friends. The local Parks & Recreation Dept. would be a good place to start.

Once you are settled in, have the boys help you make several batches of cookies. Wrap them up and deliver them to your surrounding neighbors together. It's a fun way to meet everyone and the neighbors will know if where the other kids live and may help with introductions.

As for school, register them ASAP and ask when the teachers return to start prepping their classrooms. See if the boys can come down and meet their new teachers and tour the classrooms before school starts. Even just walking around the empty school will help them feel more confident if they know where the bathrooms are and where the lunchroom is. If they are riding the bus, get their bus passes and find out where the bus stop is and the times for drop off and pick up.

Plan on visiting the old neighborhood a lot. They need that time with their old friends. It is sure easier to transition and make new friends when they aren't hurting over old friends that are gone.

Enroll them in summer programs so they know some kids at school before they get there. Look for camps, summer sports leagues, fun classes, etc. See if you can obtain a school directory and try to look up same-aged kids in your new neighborhood. Contact the moms and see if they'd be open to meeting up at a park.

Once you're there, arrange a few play dates with friends from the old neighborhood too so they don't feel like they've been completely pulled away from everything.