Help- MOM Not Sleeping

Hi B.,
I agree with many of the moms that getting no sleep goes with the territory. I got no sleep when my daughter was younger but it was because she wasn't sleeping. When she didi fall asleep I kept her in my room but I had a motion detector baby monitor that would go off if she were to stop breathing. I think it was called angelcare by bebe sounds. I felt much safer sleeping with that. When I moved her to her room ( I waited to 6 months but I probably could have done it sooner) I had the video baby monitor and still used the motion one. They are both expensive but worth every penny. Now that she is 18 months I can see her and if she gets out of her toddler bed the alarm goes off. I also just wanted to say that I have a few other mom friends that I hang out with and we are always looking for more moms if you or anyone else is interested in getting out. We all live in Tampa. As far as breastfeeding goes I just stopped and it was the best but hardest thing I've done. I strongly suggest you call a lactation consultant. I know I called the ones at St. Joe's all the time and it was free. By the way, I am also a teacher who has chosen to stay home for now.
Good luck!

Congrats on your new baby girl!! I went through the same thing and am so sorry you're so tired. Please try to relax (deep breathing exercises or Tylenol PM if need be) & make sure you somehow get some sleep because I went about a week with only about an hour each night and was very sleep deprived and crying, etc. It's natural to do what you're doing though - we're moms and no one else is like us as far as checking on her, etc. But try to relax and know that she's ok. I still am guilty of checking on breathing because mine gets congested (she's 5 months now), etc. but I'm a lot better now. I ended up getting prescription medications because I had other problems too and never wanted to take sleeping pills that they gave me because the effects lasted up to 8 hours, but Tylenol PM isn't like that, so don't worry and trust me, you'll still wake up for the baby's needs.

As far as the latching, don't worry yet and don't give up. Breastfeeding was WAY harder than I ever could have imagined, but it gets easier. Even if you can pump and give that to her, she's still getting what's important. I had to stop after 3 weeks due to medications - talk about heartbreak!! So just as long as she can get your milk, you're lucky. But again, don't give up. It takes time for you both to get into the groove, as it's not as easy as it seems. You'll do fine. Just try to relax and breathe deep for slow counts in & out and start from top to bottom of your body and relax the muscles and try to go to sleep. She'll be fine and you will too!! Best wishes.

I have two pieces of advice. First, get a video monitor...you can turn the sound down low so you will sleep through any little noises and wake up if she cries. You can also see what she's doing and know she's ok. I can hear my son breathe, so that's comforting to me.

Also, have your lactation consultant come over and help you with latching on. It is difficult at first, but you'll be a pro before long. Sometimes newborns are lazy about latching on, too, so they need more encouragement. If you don't have a lact. cons., reply and I'll give you the number to mine, she's awesome! You can also visit kellymom.com for advice and videos about breastfeeding.

Good luck!
J.

I think you've already heard this. I had the same problem and strongly urge you to consult with a lactation consultant immediately. At 6 days old, after realizing my son (now 18 mos) wasn't "transferring milk to his tummy, I learned how to "finger-feed" him with the hazelbaker system for a week or so and wound up nursing him until he was 13 months old. Don't give up!!

As for the not sleeping, I think you're normal for checking on her - although I'm sure sleep would be better for you. Do you have a monitor?

You need to get with a lactation consultant asap. Fortunately, latching issues can usually be easily resolved after someone that is an expert gives you a little help. You might want to consider putting baby in her nursery and not in the same room with you for a couple nights until you can catch up on your sleep. Those little baby noises they make in their sleep are less likely to keep you awake when they come through a monitor vs. right there at your bedside. Also, be sure to nap when she naps in these first few weeks. Good luck!

Hello New Mom!
First off congrats on your new beautiful baby!! and fear not, your not alone! I just had my daughter in March and my boyfriend and I did the same thing. After awhile you will just basically give out from lack of sleep. How I got past this was to say... "years ago there were no baby moniters, A/C or even cribs and everyone survived". So give yourself some time to be paranoid but then start to coach yourself that your baby is fine and she will let you know when she isn't. Also try to take naps while family or friends are over so you can rest easy that she is being taken care of while you sleep. Good luck and hope you can get some sleep.

A.

I couldn't sleep with the baby in the room. I had to move him into his own room. I heard every little move and it was exhausting! I know it's hard at this age, but you won't regret it. You will enjoy your days much more if you are well rested. I couldn't even use the baby monitor as I could still hear him, even at the low noise level. Mommy ears UGHH!!. You will hear your baby if they need you. Call your local hospital for lactation consulting. They are great. Also try searching for you local Laleche League. http://www.lalecheleague.org/ They are free and very helpful. If it ends up that you are not able to breast feed, don't be devistated, I know many moms that couldn't for one reason or another. Just enjoy the time with your baby. CONGRATULATIONS on your first baby...it's the most wonderful thing you will ever do (other than having another :). Like the other post said, it will be much better in about 2 months. Some time after the 3 rd month, you start seeing a little bit of your old self...it's like the sun starts shinning again. I didn't think I was missing anything, but sure enough right after the third month I knoticed a huge difference in how I felt emotionally and physically. GOOD LUCK!!

Hi B.,
I was the same way when my first was born becasue she was in a little crib next to our bed. I was so tired, everytime she moved I would check her just like you are doing now. I put her in her own crib w/ her baby monitor, and we both slept better. Trust me, if she wakes up, you will hear her! Make sure you are sleeping when she is. I am sorry that she isn't latching on, my first one was like that too. We had to go to formula b/c I wan't pumping enough, I was upset, but it was much easier for both of us. Just keep trying to get her to latch, and also they have tons of web sites. I don't know what hospital you had her at, but is thier a lactation consultant you could talk too? Most important, relax and enjoy every moment you have! In 2 months for now, it is going to be so much easier! Congratulations and enjoy! M.

We had a very similar situation, with the trouble latching too. Here is what worked for us, my husband is a night owl so he watched her from about 9 pm till I needed to pump again at about 1 or 2 am. Even though she slept most of this time I couldn't sleep with her right next to me and I think it would have been worse if I had put her in her own room alone. She would sleep in her baby papasan while he stayed up watching tv and working on the computer. He would usually handle one feeding during that time, one advantage to pumping and bottle feeding. Knowing that my husband was on watch made me able to get some much needed sleep. I only needed this arrangement for about two weeks, then I became more comfortable and was able to sleep best if she was in bed with us.

You got some good advice on the latching issues, don't give up just yet! I never was able to successfully breastfeed. It was a really difficult for me to accept. But I learned about exclusively pumping and I was very succesful at it. I did it for 7 months and I had a freezer full of milk to supplement the formula until she was 1. I would have kept going but it became really difficult when I went back to work full-time. The thing I had to get through my head is that it is the milk that she needed, not my breast. After about a month things got much easier. Good luck with everything, it gets easier I promise!

Hi, having a new baby in the home is a little scary and unnerving at first. but she will let you know if she is uncomforable. take some me time after her bed time, a few minutes in the bath or reading a book, to relax from the day. being a stay at home mom is more work than going on an 8-5.

my first daughter had trouble latching on, it took 5 months of me being afraid and tired. finally i removed the bottle completely and squeezed milk on her lips she started latching on within the day. it was hard because she was older and was used to the bottle. dont wait as long . get comfortable in a chair at feeding time,she will cry, but dont panic. sing , gently rock and squeeze the milk on her lips, rub the bottom lip with your nipple and she will start to latch on. just be consistant. my second child i was not able to nurse until i got home from the hospital, they gave her the bottle and she wanted no parts of me. so i consistantly gave her the breast and within one day she was good to go. dont give up. babies like consistancy. and they take easiest to what is there all the time.

This is normal and will continue on well past her sleeping though the night. You will get more used to the sleep deprevation and of course as time goes by get more and more sleep. It will never be the same as before though!

Maybe you could try contacting the local La Leche chapter for more pointers on breatfeeding. I remember not really feeling sure my son was being satisfied. What finally clicked for me was the little swallow sounds....if not for them I would have had no idea!

Don't worry, it will be old hat for you on less than a month

PLEASE see a lactation consultant about latch issues! 95% of women CAN successfully breastfeed. Some women just need more help. Also, there are many LLL ladies in the area. You can contact them for help too. Don't try to go it alone - GET HELP!

We co-slept the first seven weeks and I didn't sleep well at all. Finally we found swaddling and were able to get our daughter out of our bed and into her crib.

Good Luck!!

Dear B.,

Believe it or not, I think every mother does the same exact thing that you are doing. We all worry if they are breathing, or if they need us but can't tell us, or maybe they will cry in the night and you won't hear them and the list just goes on and on and on. I promise it will get better !!!

I have learned that babies may rely on us for their every need, but we expect them to be like fine china or crystal and so easy to break, but they are stronger and more adaptable than we know. So, do try to rest easy because she needs her mom to be healthy and not getting enough sleep is going to eventually wear on you. Newborns already wake up every few hours and that lasts for a few months, so as you can see....while she sleeps, you must sleep.

As far as nursing, keep trying. Sometimes you have to massage the nipple, pulling it outward to make it easier for her to latch onto and also keep trying and trying to place it in her mouth, even with some milk that she can taste and that might help her to latch on. Nursing is one of the most awesome things between a mother and her baby and I totally understand your sadness, but keep to it and when in doubt....call her pediatrician or ask your doctor. They can offer a great deal of advice.

Good luck to you, God bless and Congratulations on the new addition to your family.

T.

Sad to say, but the not sleeping factor is just something that comes with being a worry-wart! I was the same exact way. You will eventually get to sleep....if you stop worrying so much! It is o.k. to be a worry-wart. There is alot of stress that comes along with being a first time mom. Breast feeding is one of them. Dont give up if this what you really want. I am not sure where you live, but if you call Tampa General Hospital at ###-###-####, ask to speak with the lactation nurse. There is also a support group number they can give you. I hope this helps, I really wish you good luck with the breastfeeding.....

I have a 4 month old and still have her sleeping in a pack-n-play/bassinette in our room. I think that it is perfectly natural to check on your sleeping baby (even my husband recently admitted to doing this - and she's baby #4).

To make it easier for me, I pull the pack-n-play right next to our bed. This way I can just lean over to peek or listen for breathing. It makes sleeping much easier. Obviously, you can't watch her 24/7 and you won't be healthy if you try. I read some of the other posts and some Moms seemed to benefit from having the baby in another room. Find out which one works for you. With baby #4 I actually slept with her on my chest in a recliner or propped up with pillows in our bed for the first 2 weeks.

One of the other Moms mentioned the baby getting lazy. I had forgotten, but this always seems to happen within the first 3-5 days after birth and seems to be especially prevalent for jaundice babies. This is one of the more frustrating times for breastfeeding. It is difficult to purposely try to wake a sleepy baby to latch on and I had to relearn how to wake them (changing diapers, tickling their feet, and undressing them). But, it is very important to continue feeding to increase bowel movements and rid their body of the bilirubin.

Breastfeeding is different with each child and I quickly found out that it is not easier after the first child. One word of advice. Persistance.

For me, the main trick, is to either wait for her to open her mouth as wide as possible which usually means waiting until she is VERY unhappy (read that as screaming) and then squeezing as much of the aerola in her mouth as possible. If she doesn't latch-on properly, I break the latch by sliding a finger in the corner of her mouth (breaking the seal) and make her latch on again until we get it right. I have had times, where I was so engorged, that I had to pump a tiny bit for her to be able to latch on properly.

Also, with my other daughter, we introduced bottles (hoping to alleviate some stress/pain from poor latch ons) which created "nipple confusion." Basically, she became lazy because traditional bottles/nipples don't make them work as hard (the milk comes immediately) whereas with breastfeeding it does take a few minutes for the milk to be released. In my childs case, she would latch on, become frustrated and then pull herself off. It was very frustrating for both of us. Once I stopped using the bottles, and just fed on demand, things were much smoother.

Also, in my humble opinion: if you have to use bottles (night feeding by Dad, or pumped milk) make sure to get the newborn or #1 nipples. These release less milk so that the baby has to work for it. If you use a #2 or #3 stage nipple, the milk comes rushing out and increases their frustration with nursing. You can test the bottle nipples when washing them (fill with water and squeeze). If it comes gushing out, switch nipples.

Also, I made sure to show my husband (when bottle feeding) to put as much of the bottle nipple into the baby's mouth. This also helped to avoid poor or smaller latch-ons.

Hope that some of this advice helps and don't give up. I used to say that it took 2 weeks to get comfortable with breastfeeding. After my last daughter arrived, I've changed my opinion to 4 weeks+. Hang in there!

P.S. One of my very favorite nursing products is a nursing pillow called "My Brest Friend." We have a boppy, but it just doesn't support the baby as well. This pillow is very firm, has back support for Mom and a curved pillow for head and babies bottom. It was a lifesaver with my last 2 children. I think that we purchased ours at a Babies R Us for about the same price as the Boppy.