Help! 3 Yo Wakes up Every Morning at 4:30 Am Having to Pee!

Updated on January 03, 2013
N.F. asks from Reno, NV
19 answers

I've been hoping it was a phase. But now I think it's a habit? For about the last month, my 3 yo daughter wakes b/t 4-5:30 a.m. having to pee. I take her, put her back to bed. Normally she goes back to sleep. To layer the problem further, her 4 yo brother, who is a light sleeper, wakes upon her screams and movement, and then cannot get back to sleep, poor thing, and it's really affecting him! She wears a pull up to bed, and has been potty trained for a year now. Looking for advice on how to change the habit she's forming and get her to stay in bed or hold it until wake up time (7 a.m.). I worry her body is now cued to wake up and pee now? If she were a little older she could go by herself... so maybe I just hang in there until then?

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B.

answers from Augusta on

she's 3. She just needs to get up and pee, be glad she's waking up and going instead of just going in the pull up.
Teach her to take herself to the bathroom.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Why is she screaming when she wakes up, is there something else going on, like nightmares?
At three she should be able to get up and go quietly pee on her on, as long as there's a night light on, it shouldn't really be a "problem."

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K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

Why not leave the light on in the bathroom for her and let her know she can go by herself? Not exactly sure why this is a big deal? Does she need help getting jammies/pull-ups on and off? If she is getting up to use the bathroom and NOT having accidents, why is she still in pull-ups?

~My solution would be: Make sure she is in easy to get on/off PJ's, put her in real panties, leave the light on and make sure to tell her she can go by herself!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Well I have no idea.
But I am an adult.... and I, wake up about 4:00am to pee.
I don't know why. But that is how my body is.
I don't do it on purpose.
I just tend to wake at 4:00am. And have to use the bathroom.
Then I go back to sleep.
I personally could not "hold" my bladder 2 more hours, like you hope she would. By then I'd be in pain. And not going to pee and holding it, is not good for the kidneys.

Maybe, teach your daughter to be "quiet" when she wakes.
It is her waking noise... that is waking her brother.
So maybe if she does not make noise or "scream" when she wakes, then it won't wake him up when she goes to pee.
When my kids were toddlers, I taught them to be "quiet" when others were sleeping or napping and to "whisper." They did and could, do that.

The "problem" is that your daughter is making a lot of noise when she wakes.

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

Why cant she go by herself instead of screaming?

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

You're worried her body is cued to wake up and pee?
That's called potty trained!

Why do you put a pull-up on her? Convenience for you? Your other kid?

I'm 50 and I can hold my pee, but I get up in the night so I can go because I can't sleep if I have to pee. I hate getting up, it ticks me off quite frankly if I'm resting and dreaming nicely, but holding pee can lead to UTI's and bladder infections. I don't strap a diaper on so I don't have to get up.

I'm not trying to sound mean to you, but your daughter wanting up to pee is a GOOD THING!

Get rid of the pull-ups. Let her know she's a good girl and getting up to pee is a good thing. She doesn't need to cry and scream. Jeez, let her know it's okay to get up and pee. Put night lights in the bathroom, in the hall way, in the bedroom, wherever, so she can just get up and go and crawl back into her bed when she's done.

I'm sorry and I really mean no offense, but this is kind of upsetting to me.
She's not peeing her bed and you want to train her to "hold it" or go in a pull-up so she won't wake anyone else up?

She obviously knows what her own body needs. Like I said, that's a GOOD THING!!!!!!

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I would teach her to go herself. Get a light switch extender for her so she can turn the lights on and off. By three my boys would get up and go on their own.

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

that's just your cue that it's time to teach her to go on her own :) nightlights help a lot. have fun!

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Okay I am totally confused, my kids would wake up in the morning to go pee, no big deal, they walked to the bathroom, peed and went back to bed.

Why must there be so much drama at your house?

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S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

My kids all got up and went to the bathroom and went back to bed. They were not wearing a pull up either. I think she's doing great and would be so proud of her for not going in the pull up. If you have a night light she should be able to go by herself and get back in bed fine. I would hesitate to wake her before you go to bed or she'll have interrupted sleep and it's not like she's needing to wake so she doesn't wet the bed, etc. Tell her to get up quietly and get right back in bed. If you have to check on her the first few times to be sure she's doing okay and is awake then you could do that but then she should be able to go alone. Is the bathroom near her room?

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

I'm also voting for having her go by herself, I'm confused as to why you say she can't. I assume the two kids share a room and so that makes it difficult for him to get back to sleep? I might consider a noise machine that you could put on his nightstand that could possibly help him get used to a little noise and sleep better when there is movement in the room.

I also agree it's better that she is actually getting up to go instead of just going in her pull up. But I'm not sure if there is really anyway to get her to wait longer. :( I think I would just take the approach to make things easier and quieter.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

The problem isn't that she has to go pee, or that she may need help. She just needs to stop screaming for you (I am assuming that is what you mean about her screams). When my daughter started yelling and bellowing for us, we simply taught her to get up quietly and get us. It took a little bit to teach her. A flashlight helped, but had to be taken away later because she played with it. Once she was used to the new routine, we didn't have issues with her yelling any more.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

1) take her to pee before you go to bed if you don't already

2) time for her to go on her own in the middle of the night. Unless there's a reason she can't? My son did at 3 just fine (from a bunk bed... Climbed down, peed, back in up and in bed) ... So I'm not clear on how old she'd need to be to go on her own?

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E.A.

answers from Erie on

At three years old, she's old enough to use the potty by herself at 4am.

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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

Be glad she's waking up. Most kids that age need to pee during the night, but my son wouldn't wake up. We would often wake him up and take him to the bathroom around 11pm to prevent him from needing to pee later. It worked great, and when as he got older, his bladder caught up and he didn't need to be woken up (and he learned to wake up) - but it didn't happen until he was about 6. Some kids just take longer. I would recommend taking her to the bathroom before you turn in for the night and see if that helps her get through the night.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

It's a normal phase of night time potty training. My son got me up every morning for a year. He has recently stopped (thank god), but both of my kids went through this stage when they decided they were truly "done with diapers."

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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

My daughter did this! My daughter wasn't fully awake until AFTER we brought her to the bathroom. She screamed because she knew she had to pee and didn't know what to do about it. She grew out of it and your daughter will too. :) I know it's a pain to get up with her, but be aware, if you leave her to go potty by herself, you may find that she gets disoriented and pees in places other than the bathroom.

Hang in there!

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B.F.

answers from Dallas on

Yeah, I think I would wake her up before my bed time to use the bathroom 10 or 11 and see if that makes a difference.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I agree with Victoria -- try waking her just before you go to bed yourself, walking her to the toilet and having her go then. She may then be able to go later into the morning before the urge to pee wakes her. If she is a very, very light sleeper this might not work, but with my daughter at this age, we could gently get her up (no extra light on, only night light or dim hall light, and do not turn on the overhead light in the bathroom!), she would walk to the bathroom with me, sit, pee and go right back to bed. She was pretty much "sleepwalking" and never even recalled being waked to use the toilet. It meant she could go later into the a.m. before getting up due to feeling the urge.

Yes, her body IS being cued to wake and pee but that is good, as others have noted here. The issue is not that - the issue is that she yells for you at that time. (Do you indeed mean that she yells for you to come take her to the toilet? Is that what you mean when you say she "screams" at this point? If she is truly screaming as if in pain or distress - you need to investigate that further.)

I would not punish her for calling for you if that is what she's really doing. That will only teach her that calling for mommy makes mommy cross, and you do not want her to learn that lesson, do you? Try the waking-to-pee late at night instead, if you think she can do it without being wakened too much to go right back to sleep. It does not last forever; you'll do it for a while and she will then learn to get up on her own in those early a.m. hours.

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