To Buy pullupsWhen Did Your Son Get up to Pee at Night?

Updated on November 13, 2014
M.S. asks from Merritt Island, FL
26 answers

My son is 4 1/2 and is fully potty trained, but at night he wears a pull up still. We have tried to let him do undies, but once he is asleep, he doesn't wake up to go to the bathroom. We recently got him a new bed. A nice full size one and I am looking for a mattress pad that is waterproof to try again, but haven't found anything good. Anyway, any tips? I have gotten him up to pee in the middle of the night and he goes. Should I do that every night or do you think he is just a hard sleeper and its going to take him longer? Thanks for any input. I am not concerned, just curious about other boys. He is my only.

I appreciate all the advice and words of wisdom ladies :) We do a bedtime routine and part of it is peeing before bed. Just to be clear, I only woke him a few times to pee months ago before he was starting school. I guess I was freaking out lol. I know it didn't do any good and only made us both lose precious sleep..I have heard of so many others doing that and they say it worked for them, so, I threw that in my question.

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So What Happened?

Well, my husband and I both happened to forget to buy him pullups one night and decided to see how he did without one. We wake him around 11pm to pee and he has been staying dry and doing great!! I am so proud of him. I know there may still be accidents, but am so glad we tried. He is so proud of himself too! Thank you for all the advice and insight :)

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R..

answers from San Antonio on

My daughter never woke up to go and even waking her up at ten-thirty to go didn't help with bed wetting.

She was SIX before she was totally night dry. I think this was harder on her than on me.

I layered the sheets...waterproof pad, fitted sheet, waterproof pad, fitted sheet, and hard but do able one more waterproof pad and fitted sheet. Then I or she could remove just the top sheet and pad and she could get right back in bed and we could deal with the wet sheet in the morning.

Good luck!!

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

You can't train a child when they're unconscious. Put him in underwear when his diaper is dry for a couple weeks solid. Don't stress or even talk about it.

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D.S.

answers from Columbus on

Sometimes you need to look for clues, my son is 5 and doesn't wake up to pee per se, but he wakes up crying (as if he was having a nightmare) and I know it is because he needs to pee, so I have to get up and take him to the bathroom. He hasn't needed a pull up for about a year now.
Good luck to you!

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Ummm, never. Do you wake up all night to go pee? If you do then you need to go get tested for diabetes because we're supposed to go to sleep and sleep all night. So are kids.

Once his body is working to stay dry he will just stop going during his sleep time.

It's like this. The brain sends out a chemical telling the kidney's to stop producing urine. The bladder remains....sort of dormant and doesn't get full.

So he'll stay dry.

When he falls asleep now he relaxes his muscles and out comes the pee. You wake him up to go pee and he tightens up those muscles and can't empty the urine out. He goes back to sleep and out it comes.

You are wasting time worrying about this and fussing with him about it.

Please just put an overnight pull up on him and put him to bed. When he stays dry weeks on end it's time to let him go to underwear.

If he throws a fit to wear underwear tell him you are the momma and he has to mind you. You're the boss.

You need to go to Walmart and buy some plastic mattress covers. They cover the mattress completely and zip across the bottom. Then YOU MUST put a mattress pad over this to keep the sheet directly off the plastic. It's hot to sleep on a plastic cover.

Then if he leaks out of his pull up you don't have to worry about the mattress getting messy because it's covered.

This is a job you just have to do because he won't be dry until his body is ready to stay dry. NOTHING you do will change this and you can make his life a living hell if you get caught up in this and try to manage it and make him stop doing it.

It's sort of like deciding you're tired of carrying your 4 month old baby around and decide it's time for him to walk on his own...is that going to happen? Of course not, so if you worked with him days and days would it make him walk? No, he won't walk until his body reaches that developmental milestone. Offering an infant won't make them walk either, so how would an incentive make a child who's body isn't ready for a milestone cross that bridge and just decide to do it? It won't.

Same with staying dry during the nighttime. There isn't anything you can do to make his brain send this chemical to his kidney's.

You can make this stress free or hell. The choice is yours.

By the way. Doing 1-3 extra loads of laundry every single day runs your gas and electric bills up a lot, using extra laundry detergent, extra bleach, extra fabric softener, plus wasting your time takes a ton of money and you're time.

Those who say pull ups are a waste of money just haven't seen how much that extra laundry costs. Plus you know what? My time is worth something. I deserve to not do extra laundry every stinking day.

So we still do pullups and our boy is 8. He can wear them as long as he needs them and I don't care.

5 moms found this helpful

W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

ETA: My two boys don't wake up. My oldest (14) didn't have a problem...my youngest (12) wasn't night trained until MAYBE 4 years 6 months...

M.,

This is the mattress pad we use.
http://www.overstock.com/Bedding-Bath/Protect-A-Bed-Basic...

Stop waking your son up at night. Stop. His body is NOT ready for night time training. This could take a long time. This is VERY different from day time training. A boy that I take care of - and whom I've known since he was 1 year old - JUST this year - at the age of 13 - got the night time wetting under control...

his mom tried medications - nope.
we tried waking him up - nope.
we tried the alarm - nope.
we tried limiting liquids after dinner...nope.
He wasn't ready.

Give him a pull up at holds his urine.
DO NOT wake him up.
Buy two mattress pads so that IF he wakes up and is wet, you can change it...and still have fresh one on hand.

Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful

V.S.

answers from Reading on

We woke our son up at 11 pm until about 6 or 7 years of age. His bladder just wasn't big enough. Eventually, he started waking up at 11 on his own, and gradually no longer needed us getting him up.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

my son was dry at 3.. no pull ups.. my daughter is almost 9.. still in a pullup..

not really a boy girl thing...

you cannot train him to wake up.. getting him up in the middle of the night does not help..

just put him in a pull up till his brain is ready to wake him up to pee.. it might be sooner.. or it might be later.. it is not bad behavior.... do not praise dryness or scold wetness... it is a non issue.. he will be dry when he is ready to be dry..

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V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

I've seen the gamut of answers to this question over the years. To a large degree, I think it's just whatever works for you and your household.

For us, I would wake him as I was going to bed for the night and have him go one more time (usually around 11 pm). Bedtime was 8:00. He never woke up fully enough to even remember, but I'd walk him (sometimes carry him, b/c he was dead weight) to the bathroom in the hall just outside his bedroom, and stand him up... he'd potty, flush and he was back in bed and sound asleep 30 seconds later.

This went on until he was probably 5 or 6. It just wasn't worth it to me to wash sheets every single day. And this was a while ago and the larger overnight pull ups were just coming into "vogue". I have no idea if this practice prolonged his maturing into being able to wake at night (or hold it all night). He was an extremely deep sleeper. Sleep talker and sometimes walker, as well.

Around age 7 I mostly discontinued with the "dream potty break" routine, and just made sure he went the absolute last thing before he crawled into bed. After bedtime stories even. He'd go potty one last time while I tucked his sister in, and then when I was done with her, he was ready to be tucked.

It wasn't until age 9 or so that he finally stopped having the odd jag of wetting the bed here or there. Until then he would have long periods of complete dryness at night (a few months or so) and then he'd wet the bed 3 nights in one week. Then long period of time completely dry, and then 2 nights in a row of wetting the bed. Then every other night the next week. Then dry for months. Etc.
Some of it, I'm sure, was physical growth. Not sure exactly how it all worked, but eventually he outgrew it.

His sister (3 years younger) never had this issue at all. She was dry overnight from before age 3, and has had less than 5 overnight accidents (notably, these were at times when she fell asleep in the car and was brought into the house in the wee hours and dumped directly into bed without a potty stop, or something like that where she fell asleep early and I decided to risk not waking her up).
She also doesn't sleep talk or sleep walk. And has no allergies (which son does).

I don't know if any of those other things are connected, but I know that when son began getting allergy treatments (shots), the number of nights I've heard him sleep talking dramatically reduced. He finished his treatment plan a few months ago (over 4 years of it) and I can't remember the last time I heard him talking in his sleep. He also wakes up a LOT easier in the mornings now than he used to.
Before, I had to physically jostle him, speak to him loudly, and then come back and do it again at least twice, before he was actually awake enough to make any conscious decisions about getting up. He wouldn't hear a loud alarm clock in his room--that would wake US up at the other end of the house. Now, he often will hear me open his door in the mornings, and looks at me before I touch his foot. No jostling required. Only ONE "wake up" needed.

Try not to stress. If it works for you to keep him in overnight pull-ups, go for it. I know plenty of kids who have gone that route. They don't go to college in them. And at age 4, MOST boys have overnight wetting problems, I think.
Good luck. I know it can be frustrating.

Be sure when you decide to ditch the pull-ups that you teach your son what to do with wet garments/bedding if an accident should occur during the night. You don't want him to lie there wet b/c he doesn't know what to do and doesn't want to have to come wake you up.
I just had my son put the wet things in the bathtub, wash with a washcloth, and put on dry undies. He had a full size bed, so usually the other side was still dry and he could put a towel down if needed, or he sometimes would get a blanket and sleep on the floor (carpeted).
No biggie. No shaming. No fussing. It's just the way it is sometimes. Teach him how to handle it so you don't discover the bedsheets and stinky PJ's and underwear at bedtime the next night. (been there, done that)
He's a little young yet, for all that, but if the situation continues, that's an option for dealing with it while you are patiently waiting for his body to mature.
No need for a doctor's involvement until at least age 7 or maybe 8, if you see NO improvement by then.

2 moms found this helpful

F.W.

answers from Danville on

Well...if you want to have him 'go' at night because you wake him...knock yourself out!

I kept my kiddos in pull ups (with waterproof pads) until they could master this on their own.

I restricted drinks...had them go potty after brushing teeth...did a consistent and regular bedtime of reading stories, prayers, and a last attempt at going potty.

My girls 'got' it before the age of 3. My boys took longer! And I helped them (the boys) clean up as needed.

Not to 'man bash'...but in MY experience...boys just seem to 'care' less...and 'take' longer!!!

best!

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M.F.

answers from Phoenix on

Kids will wake to pee when they're ready. You can't train them to do it by waking them.
That said, we put Pull-ups on as a "just in case" at nap and night until they've spent several weeks dry during sleep, but we put the Pull-ups OVER the underwear. That way, the child doesn't feel like a) it's ok to go in the Pull-ups since they're kind of like diapers and b) they've been punished by having underwear taken away after they worked so hard using the potty to earn it. Besides, wet underwear are much more uncomfortable than wet Pull-ups and that feeling wakes them and teaches them to wake before they fully wet.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter was almost 9 before she was consistently dry all night. Kids bodies mature at different times. There's nothing you can do but protect the mattress.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Do t know if you have Bobs Discount Furniture in Fl. If not you can get it on line. He makes the best waterproof cool mattress cover. It is not like the plastic covers that are soooo hot. I have two ostomies that can leak really bad in my sleep. I mean like worse then what any kid can do lol. Never has my mattress gotten wet. I paid $20 for king size. Hope this helps your bedding issue. Time will take care of your sons issues. Just be patient.

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

I am not above bribery. I offered some sort of incentive. That got 'em motivated!

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

My son starting wake around 11:30 at 21 months. He continued to do this until 3.

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

Both my boys were dry day and night at three. I'm not sure if they were getting up at night to pee or holding it all night. (They can both go hours and hours without having to stop and pee.) I assumed they got up occasionally, but if and when they did they didn't wake me.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My son was 2-1/2 when we switched him to underwear at night. He never woke up to pee until he was probably 6 or so. Kid has an amazing bladder. When he was 4, he went to a birthday party - completely wore him out. He fell asleep on the car ride home. Slept and slept and slept. He woke up the next morning around 9 am. So no peeing from probably 2 pm until 9 am. Peed like a racehorse when he woke up. Amazing. Now, I occasionally hear him flush the toilet in the middle of the night. Oddly, he also washes his hands (still occasionally needs to be reminded during the day).

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

Target has a great quality waterproof mattress pad. We also have those zippered plastic cases to cover the whole mattress.
You can not train a child to stay dry at night, while they sleep. It is a physical and mental development that a child must achieve in their own time. You can do all the "tricks" like limiting drinks, waking them, alarms etc but until that development happens and it "clicks" there is nothing you can do.
The age at which that "click" happens varies widely. My boys weren't dry at night until closer to 5. My daughter is over 5 and still has issues with nighttime wetness though we are starting to notice an improvement. This isn't a boy vs girl thing. It a kid to kid thing.
Keep the Pull-ups or Good Nights until you have a couple weeks to a month of solid dryness. Then you can try underwear but be prepared to have extra laundry if it doesn't pan out and have the plastic/waterproof pads to protect the mattress.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Mine slept like a rock and was in good nights until he was 6.5 years old. Then one night he fell asleep with underwear on and stayed dry. I asked him if he wanted to wear goodnights or underwear. He chose underwear, and stayed dry from that point on. When he and his body were ready, he stayed dry. Our pediatrician said not to worry about it as being an issue unless he was closer to 8 yrs old.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

About 7 years old.
Some of our sons friends were closer to11 or 12 before they could stay dry through the night.
You can not make bladder/brain age any faster.
Getting him up in the middle of the might just makes everyone tired and grouchy.
He just has to grow into it - and that may take awhile.
Be patient!
He won't be going off to college and still be wetting the bed!

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B.O.

answers from Grand Rapids on

My son was 6! Tried waking him up to go but that didn't work so stopped trying, lol. Used pull-ups and figured he would wake up to go at night when he was ready. Coincidence or not, he finally stayed dry and stooped wearing pull-ups when his 3 year old sister decided she was a big girl and didn't need a diaper day or night :-)

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C.C.

answers from Orlando on

My son is 11 and still can not stay dry at night. And he is just about too big for a pull up. He sometimes wakes at night to go, but rarely.
I have a mattress pad that I bought from the mattress store when we bought his new bed. It covers the mattress and protects it. It is comfy, not slippery or rubbery. Then I got a pad that fits OVER the fitted sheet from the One Step Ahead catalog. It tucks under the mattress and goes across the bed where his lower body would be. If he should wet through the pull up, most times I can just take this pad off and wash it without stripping the whole bed. But, if he is wrapped up in the top sheet, then that usually gets wet too. we don't make a big deal out of it. I tell him his body is just not ready.
Now my 3 year old stays dry at night and can hold it like a camel! I still keep a Pull Up on him as he does have the occasional accident, maybe 1x a week. He does not get up to go in the middle of the night.

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N.S.

answers from Denver on

Thank you for asking this question. My son is a little over 4 1/2 and he is still in pull ups at night. He has woken himself up a few times at night to go potty but otherwise we have the bed covered if there is a leak and we are good with pull ups. I really was going to just let it go until he started having dry pull ups, when ever that may be.
My parents (divorced) are the ones freaking out about him still being in pull ups at night. They think that it is us allowing him to be a baby and us who haven't gotten him to stay dry at night.

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L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Our son is 7, and a hard sleeper, and is still wet every night. We've been trying to limit liquids, wake him up around 11, and have started using an alarm that detects wetness & vibrates to wake him up to go to the bathroom. So far, nothing has worked. We haven't tried medication, and I think it's really time to go back to pull ups. So frustrating, but from your responses below, I think my son might be right on track... :(

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

He's young, sounds like a heavy sleeper, needs his sleep & it will get
better w/age.
My son got it more at age 6.
I did try to limit fluids a bit late in the evening. Now, that does not mean I
would not let him drink something. That's cruel. I just wouldn't let him
drink tons all evening & night before bed time.
It's an age thing. He'll get it hang in there.
Have him pee right before bed AND I did this to the bed: put a mattress
cover over the mattress but one that wasn't too stiff or noisy then layer
w/a pad, sheet, another thin pad, another sheet so if he did pee his bed
I only had to strip off one layer in the middle of the night, wipe him w/a
warm wash cloth & change his clothes quickly & quietly in the dark w/a
dim light or nightlight.
I wouldn't wake him. He's young & needs his sleep.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi M.. They are not supposed to wake up at night to pee. Night "training" doesn't mean that they wake up to pee, it means that their bladder grows and matures to the point that it can hold urine overnight. This is the case for boys and for girls. If you keep waking him up to bring him to the bathroom at night, you're prolonging the process; you are training his bladder to continue to need to empty at night. A pullup isn't meant to hold a full night's worth of urine. I'd put him in a diaper until he is ready to be dry at night. Good luck

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D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Both my kids are deep sleepers. They pretty much never wake up in the night for any reason. They even fall out of bed and don't know it (I hear the thump, and go put them back in, still soundly asleep).

So, they both night-trained when they were developmentally ready to hold it all night. It might be the same for your son.

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