Having Trouble Getting My 4 Mo. Old to Take a Bottle

Updated on October 22, 2008
S.H. asks from Delaware, OH
23 answers

I am currently breastfeeding my 4 month old and am a SAHM so I haven't really HAD to give my daughter a bottle very often. When she was 1 month old we did introduce the bottle and she did great with it, so I didn't think much more about it. Well, now I have started to try and give it to her on occasion and she screams and cries and refuses it. I am very frustrated by this because I am starting to feel like I can never get away for more than a few hours at a time. I try and have my husband give her the bottle in the evening, when my supply is low. Sometimes she'll take it, other times not at all. I'm so afraid that if I ever left her for more than a few hours, she'll refuse the bottle and be starving. I use the NUK pacifiers and she does great with them, so use the NUK bottles too. Any suggestions?? Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all your great responses. If nothing else, I just feel better knowing that this is normal. Some of you asked if I am giving her breast milk in the bottle...yes I am, usually it's fresh milk that I pumped that morning. I usually pump in the evening too if my husband is giving her the bottle so that my supply stays the same. I guess I've learned not to stress about this too much...I don't like to be away from her for very long anyway, I guess it's just knowing that if I had to, I could. I am planning on starting solids soon though, so that should help. And I'll try the sippy cup soon too. I'm sure I'll have lots of questions about that too! Thanks again!

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R.N.

answers from Columbus on

WE WENT STRAIGH TO A SIPPY they have sippys that have a soft tip and it worked great and we never had to sworry about weaning forma bottle. ( Also around 4 months)

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C.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

Try some different nipples and try to put breast milk in the bottles. The pumping will help increase your supply. At least it did mine. The surprise may help her take the bottle. Neither one of my boys liked bottles which I liked I didn't want to stress them out by ween from the breast to the bottle then weening to a cup. I breast fed until the were cup ready. These sippy cups out now are really great I wish I would have had them back in the day. I understand your need for me time. I just always took them with me. I think it also has alot to how they are being held. My mother in law never clould get them to take a bottle. She would prop it up and not hold them. They need to be held the same way you hold them when your breast fedding. It sort of tricks them. Good luck.

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K.L.

answers from Cincinnati on

Make sure you're not around when your husband or anyone else is trying to give her a bottle. Babies are smart and she will know if you are near. Good luck!! I know this can be very stressful!

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H.G.

answers from Columbus on

try using a bottle nipple that most resembles your breast & nipple; your hubby could also try feeding her in a more "breastfeeding-like" position. if you have tried both of those, i'm helpless to you! my toddler had a very hard time taking a bottle, also. good luck to you!

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K.D.

answers from Cleveland on

I had the same trouble with my 2nd son. I was never able to give him a bottle for the same reasons. However, don't stress about it too much. As she gets older you will be adding food to her diet (cereal, fruits, veggies), so if you have to be away for an extended period of time she won't starve. You won't be able to be away for the whole day or anything like that, but the food will buy you some time on down the line. It goes by faster than you can imagine, so don't feel like you'll be doing this for the rest of your life. It is hard to be tied down like that, but it is so worth it!!! Also, when she gets to be about 6 months old start introducing her to the sippy cup! She may never take a bottle, but if you teach her to use the cup it won't matter. Hang in there!!!

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S.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

You have actually answered your own question.....that is, do not leave your baby for more than a few hours, or take her with you.
That is what I did with my six children.
The situation will not last but a couple more months, that is, when she is ready for solids, and then you can add another hour or two to your getaways.
Most of my children never had a bottle, even of breast milk, something I take pride in.
There were few times that I left for more than an hour or two but that is what I chose to do.

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B.A.

answers from Indianapolis on

My suggestion is go out for the evening or something away from the baby and your husband. Because my daughter is 7 months and will not take a bottle from anyone while I am around. She will scream and cry and get herself so worked up she throws up. I nurse her and she calms right down. So like I said try going out or just outside and try having your husband feed her.

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R.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

Most babies who really like breastfeeding will not take a bottle from mom. Why take a substitute when you can have the real thing? You might also try wearing a big shirt for the day, it will have your scent on it, then the person giving the bottle can wear the shirt. My boys were the problem for my husband. He found the milk had to be body temp for them to take it, if too warm or too cold, they would refuse it. We used the playtex bottles, and he could squirt little bits into their mouth to get them started. Lastly, your baby will not starve herself. If she is really, really hungry, she will take something. don't feel guilty about getting out for a little bit by yourself. If she doesn't eat much while you're gone, she will definitely nurse well when you return home.
R.

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R.B.

answers from Toledo on

Since you have the luxury of staying home, as do I, try to relax a little regarding the bottle. At this age, and maybe especially when breastfeeding, it is normal for a mother to not be able to be away from her baby for more than a few hours at a time. They are little for such a short time, and there is nothing more important for you to do than to care for your baby. Yes, we do need breaks, but for now recognize that this IS your life. The old life is gone and will never return. No one tells you this, but it's true, and it's not a bad thing. Motherhood is a spiritual path, wonderful and horrible at the same time! Eventually you will be able to be gone longer. It's easier if you accept things the way they are now and not fight against your baby's need to have you close. Nursing isn't just for food. It is an extremely important and irreplaceable source of comfort. Read Dr. Sears's books, learn about attachment parenting, and congratulations on your baby and your decision to breastfeed!! Good luck!

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P.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

I guess I have a question and it is, after the introduction of the bottle did you continue to use it at least once a day or did you not? If not then you will have to force the issue with her now.
Isn't it wonderful how our children learn to control us almost immediately?
Oh, and if she is hungry enough she will eat. All humans will because above all else the creator gave us a really strong desire to survive. And frankly, if you breast feed she spends meal time with you, your husband is not the scent, warmth, etc., she experiences when you feed her so she knows the difference and isn't extremely comfortable with him serving her meal.

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S.H.

answers from Cincinnati on

My kids all refused bottles, too. Actually, my first daughter was much like yours -- she took a bottle just fine at 1 month, but started refusing it at 3 months when I went back to work just two mornings per week (for 3-4 hours each day). My second daughter took a few bottles from my husband in the middle of the night, but the first time I went to dinner with a friend and left them home alone, she screamed the whole time and wouldn't take it. With my son, we never even bothered to offer a bottle.

My husband started offering my first daughter breastmilk in a regular cup (yes, at 4mo). She'd sip or lap it up like a kitten. She didn't get much, but it would tide her over until I got home.

Also, your daughter will be starting solids soon, and you can always just have your husband or a sitter offer solids while you're gone if she won't take a bottle. To ensure that she gets some milk, breastmilk can be mixed with solids, or you could freeze breastmilk and feed it by spoon in a slushie form. My kids weren't impressed with that, but I've heard that some babies love breastmilk slushies, esp. when they're teething. :-)

I know it seems like you'll never get away, but things will work out, and time will go by faster than you think. Plus, like someone else said, babies won't starve themselves. She might not be happy while you're gone, but she will eventually eat (and probably nurse like crazy once you're home again).

Hope that helps!
S., mom to 5- and 3-year-old girls and a 1-year-old boy

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T.A.

answers from Cleveland on

Try nipples that say orthodontic on them, when I nursed my son we used playex bottles and he would only take the orthodontic nipples not the regular ones that came with the bottle. I know most bottle brands have orthodontic nipples. I hope you find something that works.

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K.Z.

answers from Cleveland on

Hello S.,

You didn't say whether you put breast milk or formula in the bottle; if it is formula she may not like the taste. Try to put breast milk in the bottle if you can; as one other mom said, the pumping should help increase your supply. Or you could try a different formula. If you have friends using formula maybe you could buy a little from them to test it out so you wouldn't have to invest $ in a whole canister only to find the baby didn't like it :-(

Good luck!

K. Z.

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K.

answers from Lima on

Hi S., I just went through this with my 6 month old. Two things helped: 1. trying different bottles/nipples. She didn't like the Avent bottles that our son had liked, we tried a few and the Nuby ones she would at least put in her mouth. 2. she would take small amounts of breast milk from my husband or someone other than me. She finally got used to it, sort of, after we tried once a day for about a month. She still won't suck down a whole bottle, but she'll take 2 or 3 ounces which tides her over if I am not here. Good luck!

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D.B.

answers from Dayton on

I breastfed both of my kids, but only for the first month or so. I used the Playtex nipples that are formed more like a natural one and they both adjusted very well them. I also used the disposable bag bottle instead of the other ones and I think maybe that helped a little to because there was less air which meant less gas which meant less belly aches. Good luck to both of you.

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J.F.

answers from Toledo on

I really wish I could help you on this one, but all I have to offer is support. My daughter is also 4 months and also breastfed by me, her SAHM. We too are experiencing the same issue. Last Saturday (we bowl on a league so are out every other saturday regularly) I nursed her at 3:45. I left plenty of milk with our very experienced babysitter (she's been with us for 7 years now), and the little booger refused to eat anything until I came home at 11:30 and nursed her! I couldn't believe it. So anyway, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. One thing that I have found here recently though is since we've started on solids (pediatrician gave us the go ahead), she is going much longer between feedings which gives me a lot more freedom. She has gone from every 2-3 hours to every 4-5 hours. Much easier on mom :)

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C.C.

answers from Indianapolis on

I've heard that you need to physically leave the house (the baby can "smell" you from like 50 feet away). And, make sure she's actually hungry when you have your husband try to give her the bottle.

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N.N.

answers from Columbus on

My 3rd daughter did this also, only on a much grander scale. DH is a teacher, so when school lets out for the summer he stays home with the kids. Jacey was about 3 months at the time. She absolutely refused to take the bottle from him, she had no problems at the sitters house. I talked to the dr., she told me that she would not starve, as long as we offered milk, and that as long as she didn't get dehydrated, she would be fine. So we watched for signs of dehydration and offered the bottle at regular feeding times. She nursed like no ones business all night long! If they left the house she would take the bottle from Grandma or another person. Just not in our house or from someone in our family. There were lots of field trips that summer and lots of all night nursing sessions, but we made it through. She loves you, and this is truly a grand compliment, although it does make your life tougher. No one does it as good as you do Mom!

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

Ah, the bottle paradox of the EFBing SAHM :) Many of us have been through it.
First, I wouldn't supplement when your supply is low, it will just decrease even more, or at least pump at the same time so you keep your supply up.
Second, have hubby wrap her and/or the bottle in a t-shirt or undershirt of yours so she can smell it.
Third, get the LOWEST flow nipples you can find. Ours hardly even drip when you turn them over.
Fourth, if bottles won't work, try a sippy cup or even a regular cup.

Have you been given her fresh milk or thawed frozen milk? My boys never liked the taste of the milk after being frozen.

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G.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

Oh, I remember so well... my youngest daughter (who is 13 years old yesterday) would not take a bottle whatsoever!

I remember leaning over the car seat to feed her, because we were not in a position to stop the car for her feeding. And the consistent leaking...

My oldest daughter had no problem going back and forth, but my youngest wasn't having any of it.

Then...at six months...Autumn simply took the bottle. She never nursed again. It was amazing. I'm not sure if this is normal...but after 6 months of no breaks...I was ready to retire my dairy market ;)

This sudden change may have occurred because when my daughter was a few months old, I got a clogged duct infection...so painful. The doctor had to make a cut on my breast and leave it open so that it could drain. Not the most memorable experience...but late one evening I prayed and asked Jesus to please help... and I believe He heard this mother's prayer.

I am so glad to hear that you are able to stay home with your daughter. I was able to stay home with my daughters for the 1st two years of their lives and we have a wonderful relationship. I believe that being there for them the first two years is the reason we're so close...even during these crazy teenage years.

Enjoy your 4 month old...the time flies. My daughters are 17 and 13. I was able to home-school my daughters and my oldest was able to graduate at 16. God has blessed us.

Please let me know how things go...

D.F.

answers from Indianapolis on

We had this same issue with my daughter who is now 20 months old.

Its a good approach to have your husband give her the bottle, but if you're in the room it still may not work. My daughter refused all bottles (even the special breast shaped ones) if I was "available" by being in the house, even in the next room. After months of trying, she would occasionally accept 2oz or so from a regular bottle, but with protests and tears.

My first suggestion would be to try the breast shaped ones, because the are wide & press against the face like the breast does. They also have the same sucking mechanism which may be familiar and comforting to your daughter. Regular plastic bottles can be jarring to babies used to having to suck for milk (most regular bottles are “lazy” and drip into the mouth). The rougher plastic may also be unpleasant when she’s used to mommy’s soft skin.

I know what it feels like to think that you could never get away & will never even have a hour of peace to yourself. Just remember this is a very brief time in your daughters life & will be over in a blink. This problem will take care of itself as she gets older and less dependant on you. She will be eating solid foods in the next couple of months & once you find that magic food she loves, you’ll be free again.

With my daughter, it was pears. Goodness, I could give her to her dad & hand him a jar of baby pears and poof, go and have an uninterrupted bath & phone conversation once a while.

Now, she sleeps all night pretty much & doesn’t need me quite as much as she used to, even though she’s still so very little. I’m not the be all end all of existence because she can go to grandma’s for the afternoon and have a great time, and come home not hungry. Its frustrating now, but in a few months that will be over and you’ll always remember that when she needed YOU and no one else but you, you were totally there for her.

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L.G.

answers from Lima on

That sounds identical to my situation when my now 6yr. old daughter was about 4 1/2-- 5 months old.
I too am a SAHM and was breast feeding. I would pump in addition to direct feeding so I could have some in the freezer for when we would go away somewhere. It wasn't often, but she didn't have a problem with taking it from a bottle.
All of a sudden she decided to not take my milk or formula from a bottle, and I felt a major panick attack because of feeling tied down!!!!!!!!!!!
I was told to give it a break for about 4-5 days then try a bottle again.
I did and it worked, she started taking a bottle again after 4 days of direct feeding.
That is when I decided I had enough of breast feeding and began putting her on formula only from a bottle.
Hind sight from someone else is that even if breast feeding you should at least once a day give breast milk or formula in a bottle, along with your normal direct breast feeding.
The thing I wished I would've thought of when I decided to put my daughter only bottle only, was to keep pumping and feeding her the breast milk that way for as long as I could.
You will dry up faster by pumping only, but should still get a year out of it.

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A.S.

answers from Columbus on

The only thing I can say is if you want your baby to take a bottle, you have to be consistent with working with her. When she was a month old, she took it, but it sounds like you didn't continue, most likely because you didn't feel the need to. I had to continue with my kids because once I went back to work, I wanted to make sure they took their bottles at daycare (with breast milk and formula later). Without the pressure of that, I can see letting things go, but if you want that time away, even if it's occasionally, you'll have to "practice" with her. I usually gave 1 bottle/day. Two out of three of my kids were great with it and one I had to experiment with different types of bottles/nipples. ...seems like so long ago. :) My youngest is turning 2 in a month and a half, unbelievable to me tha time has flown so fast. Hope this helps you. Have fun with your bundle of joy because it does go way too fast.

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