Advice with Weaning to Bottle

I can only offer to change the nipple shape for the bottle. My daughter weaned herself from breastfeeding at 4 months. I wanted to keep going but she would cry everytime I brought her to the breast. She would only take the orthodontic nipples, the other shape she would suck for a few seconds and then cry till we gave her the orthodontic shape. Good luck!

D.-

I too wonder why you are wanting to wean. Your daughter loves to BF, and rightly so. It is her comfort and her food source, a calming way for her to bond with you. But it is not good to have so much strife. I would suggest taking a "nursing vacation" during which you don't do much at all but lay in bed with your daughter and nurse her..skin to skin contact is good too. The frequent stimulation will stimulate your supply and help it grow. Then when you are makign more milk, she won't have to nurse as often because she will get more. Nursing is all supply and demand, so if you are trying to get her to stop nursing and are cutting down or spacing out feedings, your milk supply is going to go down. Obviously she needs a little more milk than that. You can also take the supplement Fenugreek which will help with milk supply, and even pump when she is not nursing which will also help with supply. I don't know why you would want her to go 7 hours during the day without eating....even an adult would be hungry then.

I still nurse my son at bedtime and he is 2 and a half. I don't feel like a prisioner. It is our special time. My husband does feel a little left out, but it has gotten to where he is fine with him putting him to sleep if I am not there. And they get plenty of other things to bond over as they get older that don't involve feeding.

I would just try to decompress, a little. Try not to worry about it too much and just spend some quality time with your daughter....nursing and cuddling. In addition to Fenugreek, drink lots of water and eat oatmeal as those are known to help production. You might also want to nurse from only one side each feeding so that she gets plenty of the hindmilk (the milk at the end of the session is richer and fattier and thus will tide her over longer). If she only does a short time on each breast, she is getting the more watery milk that is used more for quenching her thirst not as much to fill her tummy. I'll bet you that if you just take it one day at a time and follow her cues, she will resolve her feeding issues. If you feel like you are still having problems, I would call La leche league or a lactation consultant. I would focus on getting the breastfeeding back on track before you worry about the bottle. Just tackle one issue at a time and hopefully it will get better.

With the bottles, you might try different kinds of bottles. I found the Playtex latex natural latch nipples to be the most shaped like a mother's breast...they also compress and are soft and flexible like a breast, unlike the sillicone nipples.

good luck! I know how frustrating this can all be.

Hi, D.. This sounds very upsetting. I'm wondering why you are trying to wean her if you are at home with her. She would probably nurse more peacefully, and for longer if she did not feel like you were trying to end it.

I know breastfeeding can be challenging. Just because she is nursing frequently, and for all purposes does not mean that somehow she won and you are now her prisoner. We only nurse our children for such a short time in their lives, and then they grow up. I would say try to find a relaxing way for you to spend this time with her, and see how beautiful she is while you are holding her. It can really be a special time.

Then also find a way to have a little bit of time that you can be yourself. I know from my own experience that it is not easy to do, at least for me, but I always feel better! Maybe it is just once a week... your husband could take her for a stroll to the park for an hour and a half or go run an errand with her in the car, without you.

I hope that something I said could be useful to you. I'm sorry if it was not really advice about weaning to a bottle. None of my three ever used a bottle or a pacifier. It was all me, and believe me, I know it can be hard especially if you never have a break. That's the key. I know it will make you feel better, and that will help everyone else too!

I just remembered something that my best friend said about nursing and bottle-feeding! She pumps milk so her husband can help with feeding. She has it down to science almost.
One really important thing she said is that she is never the one to feed her baby with a bottle. She exclusively nurses her baby, and so it works beautifully. She said when all the confusion happens for babies, it is because they expect to nurse when the mother is holding them, and then if she gives them the bottle, they get confused and are less able to feed properly. Just a little tid bit. I f you want more info from her let me know. She is very happily breastfeeding and breastmilk bottle-feeding!

Best wishes,
Gretchen

My advice(for what it's worth) DON'T start giving her cereal now. She's already battling too many "new" things, and introducing solids now will most likely stress her out more, upset her immature digestive system, and create a picky eater for you. My 9 month old still eats something every three hours, so her timing isn't off. The first step would be to get her on a regular nursing routine, (if it's every three hours, so what? she's happy) and get your milk production up. Contact La Leche or Patricia the lactation consultant who posted here. Also the book The Nursing Mother's Companion is EXCELLENT! It really helps to have it for frequent and quick references. Next, after two succesful weeks, get dad to give her one bottle at a regular feeding time. If you can pump and give her breastmilk, that will be best. Then you are only changing one thing--she's still getting breast milk, but from a different source. If she won't take it, nurse her that time and next day try a different nipple. and once a day, after you feed her, give her to your husband for an hour and get out of the house! Go for a brisk walk by yourself. It'll clear your head and exercise helps your milk production too. Good luck!!!

I don't think nursing your child is supposed to be so stressful. I tried with both my boys, and will try again with my third, but for me, nursing never came easy. I tried the fenugreek, and the additional consumption of water, I even pumped throughout the day but it just never really worked out. Breastfeeding comes very easy to some moms, so much so, that it's hard for them to uderstand how it could be so stressful to others. It's wonderful that your daughter seems so "dedicated" to trying to make it work, but you can't let nursing take over your days and stress you out. I think that takes away from the joy of spending time with your little girl. I think I would try a pacifier in between feedings and introduce her to some solids like cereal. Use your instincts, some say 4 months might be too early, but my second son was NEVER full and I started him on some cereals at three weeks! I know, sounds crazy, but he's a perfectly healthy 10 month old with a great appitiete running around chasing his brother.

And the advice that she will eat when she's hungry enough, that is true. If she is hungry, she will take the food whether it's milk or formula, or breast or bottle. Bottom line is, don't let it stress you out, easier said then done, I know. This will pass, she will not starve, you will figure it out, just trust yourself.

You poor thing. My heart goes out to you. This is such a hard thing to have to experience. One thought might be to try feeding her in a sling, because it will hold her so close, you could walk around while feeding her, and the motion may so soothing that it will be enough to mimic the closeness of breastfeeding.

And, if you end up deciding not to wean just yet (do you have some compelling reason why you have to right now? four months seems very young for weaning unless there's some strong reason), using the sling will help you to cope with the frequent feedings, because you can feed her in a sling while doing other things--it can really restore sanity to your life. Don't worry about feeding every three hours--that is not actually that frequent for this young a child.

I also struggled through low milk production issues, and also had a baby who refused a bottle. Actually, we wound up introducing solids at around four months (which is early for some babies, right on time for others -- it just depends), and her weight improved right away with the solids.

It does feel like you are a prisoner to the baby when they are this age. The sling can really help, though. Using a sling, you can go out (especially at this time of year) for walks or wherever, and if the baby needs to nurse, she can do so without anyone being able to see anything. It's a way to get your life back, at least a bit.

I would also encourage you to try La Leche, if there is a chapter close to you. Even if you are determined to wean, they will have helpful advice--they know a lot about weaning.

Good luck!

B.
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D.:

I am sorry you are going through this... I actually have seen a fair amount of this in my practice.

I would be happy to get together with you and assist you with this.

I would be concerned about starting foods as this is "early" by aap and who standards. the reasoning is that the gut is not ready to accept the food and usually unable to digest and process it.

It is not good for either of you to be "battleing" with one another.

If increasing your milk supply is what you want to do that too can be accomplished - and without resorting to reglan which has some potential serious side effects.

P., RLC, IBCLC
Pres. Lactation Support Group, Inc
800 LACTATE / 800 522 8283 or ###-###-####

I had a similair problem with my first child. You have got to get your daughter to get enough food by nursing to fill her up for a couple of hours. By four months old, she should be able to go three hours in between nursing. I suggest to start nursing her every three hours. If you give in and nurse her in between, she will just eat enough to get by and still be hungry one hour later (sometimes sooner) You will have a couple of rough days, but she will catch on. Start out tomorrow and nurse her first thing in the morning. The tough part will be waiting three hours to feed her again. If you wait, she will actually be hungry, and she will nurse more than she would if you had fed her two hours earlier. Then again, wait another three hours to feed her again. She will learn to eat more at one time, and then she will not hungry as often.

Also, since she is four months old, you can start giving her cereal a couple of times a day. This also will help fill her tummy and give you a break.

Feel free to e-mail me with any questions you may have. I have three kids and nursed them all successfully. I went the the same problem with number three. She actually never took a bottle. We started her on a cup at four months. By six months she was a pro. Hang in there, it sould like you are doing a great job!!

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I agree with Gretchen and Andrea.
Your baby is BEGGING you to continue to breastfeed her. Why do you want to wean her at this young age? Also, introducing food this early is not a good idea. She needs your breastmilk now to help enable her body to tolerate solid foods later. If you have any allergies or digestive issues in your family, this advice counts double. You can get the help you need from contacting the La Leche League. Do this as soon as possible.
Amy

D.,
Your request brought back memories. I had a similar issue with my now 6 year old. Low milk production, so we supplemented, then we went breast only, with the advice of La Leche + additional pumping to aid supply and then he wouldn't go back to the bottle. I even missed a friend's wedding because I was afraid he would refuse to eat and scream the whole time we were gone. Even short outings were a hassle. So I feel for you. How I longed for him to take just one bottle so I could get out of the house for a little while!
As far as books go, the La Leche book was helpful, and I've heard great things about "So That's What They're For".
Hang in there! As far as the frequency of nursings go, I found that a pacifier really helped with my second son (my first refused it). It's not always easy to distinguish between demands for comfort nursing and nursing for hunger. I know some people feel strongly about nursing regardless of the frequency or reason (and I applaud their devotion), I just needed a break and some semblance of a schedule so I could take care of errands etc., so I offered a pacifier and cuddling when I thought it was too soon for a meal. Carrying him in a sling during those cranky times also helped with his need for closeness, and saved my arm and back. My first son finally took a bottle at 8 months if grandma gave it to him (especially if I was out of the room), and my 2nd skipped the bottle and went to a sippy cup around 11 months (I didn't push it this time since he became an efficient and less frequent eater and I was much more comfortable nursing in public - also thanks to the sling). Trust your instincts. You and your daughter will soon find what works best for both of you, which is what matters most. Good luck!

D.,

My third son who is going to be 4 months did that to me too. The only problem was he was born Jaundice and the doctor told me at 3 weeks to formula feed for 48 hours. It was the hardest time I have ever had. I have 2 older boys who wouldn't take to breastfeeding. So this was a completely different situation. I bought Playtex bottles that have breast shaped nipples. Held him real close like I was going to breast feed him. It worked with Dylan. I think it is more your smell that turns them away from bottles. He never did take the bottle from my husband. But still will from me when it's impossible to breastfeed.
Take care of yourself and good luck!
H.