Having the "Say No to Drugs" Conversation

Hi C. - I think you just need to say it. I've already started having little conversations with my son about drugs, and he is only 7. Just yesterday, he saw a headline on the internet news site I was looking on that said a child actor was found dead.

My son asked me what happened - I didnt sugar coat it too much. I just said that he took too many drugs and he died. He asked me why people take drugs and I was honest in a way that he could understand. I told him that people think it's fun because drugs make them feel dizzy but it's always dangerous to take medicines or drugs because it's so easy to take too many.

I was also straight with him and said that one day, one of his friends would tell him to try some and that he just had to say no - even though it would be hard to do and his friends might call him names or tease him. I just told him to remember this guy who died and not even play around with them.

We use everyday information and talk about it. For example, on the news this morning they said that 7% of 12 year olds (my son is 12) have sniffed aerosals to get high, so I brought up the topic with my son. He knew the dangers already, but my husband and I reinforced them, letting him know that even trying it once could be fatal. You never know how your body will react.

I teach in a high school, so there are always stories that I can share to bring up other topics as well, about drugs, alcohol, teen pregnancy, etc. The important thing is to keep the lines of communication open. It shouldn't be one talk, but lots of on-going talks where your son can feel comfortable asking questions, too. Have fun! It's crazy some of the things they ask, but I'm so thankful that he's asking me rather than experimenting with friends. :-)

C.,

There are several things you can do. Get in touch with your local police dept and ask if they have a "Say No To Drugs" Program, many do and they usually present it in Elem school. Here it is called the "D.A.R.E. Program. Contact your Elem school /guidance counselor there and see what the kids have been/or haven't been exposed to as far as education on this topic. You may also want to check out the public library and see what ,if any, materials they have on the subject. The other thing you can do is have an open and honest talk aboput drugs and what happens to your body, mind and life when you do drugs. Be very aware of the friends he chooses, make them welcome in your home (if you approve of them) and always get to know their parents. Always ASK THE WHO ,WHAT, WHERE, WHEN type questions when he ask to do something with his friends. I never minded the kids hanging out @ my house, because I always knew what they were doing and who they were with. Try not to over-react with some of the questions he may ask, if you want to promote honest /open communication between the two of you. And tell him it is ok to say NO to whatever he doesn't want to do , if he knows it's wrong. Be very involved in the school, get him active in sports, curricular activities ,etc so the void isn't there he may try to fill with negative things. Let him know you trust him,but, so called friends may try to test him- to come to you if this ever happens, doesn't matter what it's about , you're there.

I have a grandson I'm raising and he"s in the same situation. He has big dreams and I remind him doing things you know are wrong can take those dreams away .

Best of Luck, C. S.

My son, 7, has had the Red Ribbon week in school last year and this year so that was a great door opener to the subject. I told him that drugs and alcohol make you goofy in the head (he cracks up) and I told him he was pretty goofy to begin with so he didn't need that. LOL
Then we moved to the difference between medicine and illegal drugs. (At his request/questioning)
Now he is asking about legal drugs being abused.
He has also recently asked my WHY anyone WOULD take drugs and we discussed peer pressure, thinking it would make their problems go away. Bright kid that he is he said "I think it woould make you have MORE problems!" Whew!
I am of the opinion that age appropriate info and facts is ALWAYS appropriate and kids need to hear this stuff early. And often. We do little mock drills like "If someone tried to give you a pill to take, what would you say?" He yells "NO!" Same thing with cigarettes and stranger danger.

I think you have to say it a lot of ways. Lots of small conversations. Not one big sit down talk.

My son is in 6th this year.. so I was where you are a few months ago. This was also our kids' first year in public school.. so it was a HUGE change for my son.
There are some great "public service announcemnt" type things I have heard on the radio.. and whenever I do... I always take a moment and mention something about them to my kids. Turn down the radio and say... did you hear that? Do you know what they are talking about? etc etc... not a big scary talk... just conversations.
Even several years ago, as we'd drive through town and someone in another vehicle would have the window down with a cigarette hanging out the window... I might mention something like... (it's VERY hot where we live).. "ew... too bad they smoke... they have to roll the window down and let the hot air into their car. Of course, that's not the only reason smoking is yucky... " My kids would often cut me off and start the list for me... "you waste your money, it can make you sick, it makes your clothes smell, etc etc..." because they recognize that smoking IS yucky.

Just small things mom. A little at a time. When it gets closer to the first day of school in the "fall"... then you can talk a little more directly...
"You know how we have talked about taking drugs not prescribed by the doctor? Well.. sometimes kids that take things like that won't tell you that what they are giving you is a drug... they might call it something else... and they might offer it to you in the bathroom at school. Don't EVER take something from someone else like that. If you are not absolutely sure what it is - not just what they SAY it is- don't accept it. Just don't eat/drink anything that you didn't bring from home or buy in the cafeteria".. (however you want to word it).

We watch movies together, too. And when someone in the movie does something (drugs, pot, smoking, getting drunk, etc) we talk about it. Why they are doing it. When is it okay if ever. What if someone asked you to do that... etc etc.

Don't try to "do" the conversation all at once. Think how overwhelmed you are just thinking about it... now imagine you are on the "receiving end" of it... Good luck.

With my son I would bring up a story I had heard in the news etc. And say, " I heard this awful story about a boy/girl who.... fill in the blanks, and use that as my starting ground to say how dangerous drugs are, and how even trying them one time can ruin if not end your life. He is absolutely old enough for this talk, and you should have it more then one time. With my son I also talk to him realistically and say, I know you will soon hit an age where even your good friends may try drugs, drinking and it may be very hard to say no. But the best way to handle it is just say "no thanks" I'd like to keep my brain cells! They need examples of how to handle these situations as well as why they should avoid them. Look up stories to share with him, and again make this a topic you speak about often. It takes alot for things to sink into their heads! Good luck :)

my son is 4 and I already talk with him about these things.

just having casual, open talks about drugs, strangers... is a good way to go. keep it a running and informal dialogue, not just one conversation. that way, it will encourage openness and trust between you two.

he probably knows tons about drugs already. just tell him how experimenting can lead to more harmful things, that there are awful side effects that damage his body long term and that he is a wonderful boy with potential, insight and worth without needing to feel like fitting in and accepting drugs.

also, encourage him to be truthful and seek good friends, that friends wouldn't put him in a situation to do something not only illegal, but harmful to his body and spirit.

I would think he has heard a lot of good information from his school. I know at our elementary school levels they have red ribbon week, say no to drugs, with presentations,etc. That is a good start.

Build on that start with open communication and let him know he can talk to you about anything and everything without consequences. OPEN comunications is vital.

Just last might my 15 yr old said that the kids at her school were saying drugs were safer than alcohol.....She said "mom I know that is wrong". One thing that made an impact on me growing up was a presentation I heard that said you coud drop dead the first or anytime you used drugs to due some odd reaction in your body. I never experimented with drugs.

I shared that story with my daughter and expanded upton it because now kids are using inhalants which is equally bad but legal..

I was at a night club several yrs ago with my husband. He went to the restroom and I just stayed at the bar area. No one really said anything to me BUT, when my hubby came back and I stood up, I almost fell over and instantly was groggy. We went straight home, I was out cold well into the next day. Thank God my hubby was with me and recognized that I had been drugged. This is another thing I have shared with my daughter. Even at her age of 15,,,,don't take your eyes off your drink.

Goof luck. They grow up so fast.

My daughter is in the 7th grade which is the first year of junior high here. She has mentioned that some of her friends have experimented with alcohol, but hasn't heard of anyone doing drugs. I've told her that it is important to always know what you are doing and what is going on around you. I've also told her that drugs can permanently alter your state- she was a bit weirded out by that comment and came back to me several times for more discussion. Our schools have a patrol officer on duty at all times- he has meetings every other month to address concerns at the school. Make your son aware of the things that could come his way. My daughter was most overwhelmed by the language the boys use in general conversation- she felt harrassed and a bit belittled. She now feels more comfortable making others aware of what she feels strongly about and she doesn't mind making someone angry if they do or say something she isn't comfortable around. Good luck- middle school is a whole new world, but your support can make it easier.