Hair Washing Battles! Help!

Updated on August 11, 2017
A.D. asks from West River, MD
30 answers

Hi all!
My now-toddler is really starting to express her likes and dislikes...and she HATES getting her hair rinsed after I wash it! She loves her bath up until it's face and hair wash time. I have tried using a special cup to rinse it that keeps (theoretically) the water our of her face, "hats" that go around to let the water run off the brim (she just pulls them off), a bottle, the hand shower, counting to 3, etc. No luck. She's started to squirm, cry and stand up and crawl out of the tub, and once slipped and hit her chin on the tub even though I had her by the arm. I cannot use the "bath rings" because our tub has "non slip" coating that won't take suction cups. Any advice on getting her to tolerate hair washes? How do you guys do it? It has made bathtime really stressful (and with this heat and humidity around here, skipping a week of baths isn't an option! LOL)

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So What Happened?

You gals are great! Thank you so much! Tonight was a wonderful bath! We're practicing laying down on her back without water in the tub...and she still won't tolerate water on her head that way, BUT we had a breakthrough tonight! I found if I keep the water running in the faucet, she will tilt her head back and focus on that while I rinse her hair. I let her play with the spray handle for a while too and did a "water tickle game" before rinsing her hair. This was the first tear-free bath in a month! Thanks again! I am saving your responses to have on hand as she gets older...you have some awesome ideas!

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K.W.

answers from St. Louis on

My son will be three in Oct and I suffered through it, just did it quickly, but I hated the crying, so recently I found a solution. I cover his face with a towel, I shampoo his hair then right before I rinse it I grab his "face towel" this prevents water from getting his eyes. It hass made a world of difference for us.

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K.C.

answers from Wichita on

Try giving her a washcloth to hold over her face and ears and talk soothingly to her while you're rinsing.

K.

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L.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I did everything I could to not ever let the water go in my kids faces. They never gave me a fit. Block the water with one hand on the forhead and their head tilted back.

I always hated water in my face too!

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

ugh, i am there too - and i've seen other posts about this as well, and let me tell you, i really think this is one thing that you just have to do quickly and get it over with. i have started washing my son first, instead of letting him play first, that way we get it out of the way. i do have to physically hold him in the tub because the first time the water gets in his face he makes a run for it, poor guy. he doesn't have hissy fits but he is 35 lbs of pure muscle it seems, and slippery, is very hard to hang onto! plus he has a LOT of hair. i hate it just like you! we tried lots of things but in the end, just "get it over with" works best for us.

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C.C.

answers from St. Louis on

Three of my four were the same way! Hysterics! I (because my mom did this with me... I had fears too) played 'beauty shop' with them. I laid them down on the kitchen counter and scooted them up to where their head was hanging over the edge. Of course I was holding it with one hand. Then, I used the sink sprayer to wet their hair and then I"d lather it up and rinse with the sprayer again. You can get that sprayer right to the edge of the scalp, pointing back/down and no spray gets in their eyes. If you don't have a sprayer, you can do it with a cup. Just fill it with warm water from the tap and pour it over. Worked wonders!

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R.M.

answers from Topeka on

I wonder if you could somehow rig a place for her to lay on the kitchen counter...with her head over the sink...and wash it that way...so the water stayed out of her face. Has she ever seen you at a beauty salon...when you sit in the chair and lay back to get your hair washed?? Possibly it would be easier...( and less messy) to drain all of the water out of the tub...and have her lay in the tub...that would be more secure and you wouldnt have a mess to clean up in the kitchen. You could play "beauty salon" with her. Or...is she too young to have her hold a folded washrag over her face as you wash her hair?? I assume you are using baby shampoo...so it isnt burning her little eyes....seems pretty obvious but it was just a thought.
Another thought....does she like to play in the water outside??? You could use that as a way to get her used to having water on her head and face...in a fun situation. If she tolerates that...maybe you could even wash her hair outside on a nice hot sunny day...just shampoo her up when she is playing in the hose!!!
Good luck!!
R. Ann

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G.N.

answers from St. Louis on

What I did was had my son lay on his tummy and tell him to put his head back and have him look up and take the hand that dont have the cup in it and cup it around his forehead and push the water back as I pour it on his head. Now him being 2 1/2 he sits in the tub and he tips his head back now, he dont like getting water in his eyes.

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C.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I agree that getting used to getting her face and ears wet is the key. Sometimes, kids don't necessarily mind getting their face wet but they hate getting water in their ears. As with so many things at this age, make a game out of it. We use the hand shower and they get to take drinks from the water. It is impossible for them to take a drink without getting their face wet. It might take a couple of times for her to start to enjoy it but now my girls get mad if they don't get their drink. As for the ears, while she is in the tub, have her lie down on her back and get her hair wet herself. If she likes lots of water, drain some of it out first so that the first time she does it, she only gets a little bit of water touching her ears. This is also a good way to rinse her hair. It allows gravity to keep the water out of her face.

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K.T.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi A.,
When we are washing my little ones hair I have them look up at the ceiling close his eyes and pretend to see stars. I will ask him what color he sees and responds with all different colors. It takes his mind off the rinsing and his head is tilted so we have a lot less chance of getting water in the face or eyes. It seems to work good luck.

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B.S.

answers from St. Louis on

I am in the same place as you. Just lastnight though I figured out that if we act like he was at a waterpark it different. We have a toy that is for the sand. You pour in the sand and it goes through a funnel and into these two wheels that spin. We use it in the tub and pour water in it. While I'm pouring water into the funnel I'll switch to him and say waterfall and pour a little on his head. He thought it was soo funny. He kept saying head head when I was pouring it into the funnel toy. This made bathtime wonderful. No screaming and crying. No trying to climb out of the tub.

I hope you find something that works for you. I know it is very stressing to have bathtime a screaming time.

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M.R.

answers from Springfield on

I've got 4 girls, so I know this battle well! Have you tried asking her if she wants to do it by herself? I find that works sometimes with strong-willed children.:) She might make a game of it if you laugh, and say things like, "Oh my goodness, all over your face!!" Make it be her idea, and lots of fun. That's what worked for me. Good luck, and congrats on staying home.
M.

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A.K.

answers from St. Louis on

As someone who teaches swimmng to very young children, not wanting water on the face is VERY common.

If you get a chance, spend time at at beach or pool. It is almost impossible to not get some water on your face. She needs to get used to it, that's all.

You also may want to try a shower. If you have a hand held shower and she tilts her head back, you can rinse hair without much water in the face. You may want to take a shower with her, let water on your face. BE CAREFUL, when she's soapy, she will be slippery.

Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi A.,
Although I am a first-time mom, my son is only five months old, I remember when my now 4yr old nephew was doing the same thing your daughter is at that age. One night I asked him if he would like to rinse his own hair. I put a number of things in the bath (ie. cups, bowls, liquid measuring cup, even a turkey baster!)with him and he did it himself! When children start to become/want to be independant it is a control issue. If she is in control of rinsing, maybe she would be more willing.
She might still be to young for this advise so, tuck it away and try later!
Good Luck,
A.

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S.D.

answers from Topeka on

I went through this with my son it didn't last long maybe a few weeks.I would just let him do bath time like usual then talk to him and tell him it was hair wash time did it he squirmmed cried and fussed but I told him to stay seated in a firm voice or he'll get hurt in the bath tub.It worked for me,it'll soon pass.

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M.W.

answers from Kansas City on

I would put something on your ceiling for your daughter to look at. That way she can look up, you can rinse and nothing gets into her eyes. I have used that with all of my kids and it works like a charm. Do you have a sprayer you could attach? That would make it a lot easier. Also, my kids have always been in the shower once they could sit up. THey love it and don't seem to mind the water getting in their faces as much.

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi A.,

I am going through the exact same thing w/ my soon to be 2 year old. As soon as he gets into the bath I wash him up and then put shampoo in his hair while it's still dry. Litle by little, I add water w/ the wash cloth so I can lather it. Then I take the washcloth and squeeze water on the back of his head to get the shampoo out. That works great for the back of his hair. Now for the top of the head: I too have tried all the special cups and nothing has worked. I know the only reason he doesn't like it is because he is scared, so, here is what I started doing a couple of weeks ago. When he stands up to try to get out, I hold his arms and get really close to his face and tell him to trust me, this won't hurt a bit. I have to say it several times in a very loving way. Then I tell him to lay his head on my hand and we're going to put your hair in the water for just a second and it will all be over w/ really quick. He still fusses but when we're done I say "see, now that wasn't bad at all was it?" and he usually agrees. Sometimes we have to do it a couple of times. He isn't to the point yet where he's ok w/ it but every bath gets better because I remind him how well he did w/ his last bath.

As far as the face, let her wash it herself and praise her on how well she did, then tell her now it's mommies turn.

Good luck w/ bath time and just keep reassuring her that mommy is here and she can trust mommy. Hang in there it will get better, at least I hope it will!!

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L.H.

answers from St. Louis on

First off let me say kudos for adopting the greyhounds! I luv ya for it = ) About the bath thing have you tried to distract her by getting her to sing songs with you or anything like that? This idea might sound kinda mean but it really helped my mom when I was a kid. My mom was a hairdresser in the 70's a time when customer service while doing hair wasn't about how gentle you were with the client but more about the finished product. She would take me into the kitchen where we had chairbacked barstools that were the perfect height to wash hair in the sink. she would get me up on to the stool (come to think of it I was a bit older than you daughter when she was doing this) and I would stand on my knees facing backwards so I would be able to hold onto the chairback and stick my head in the sink. She would have me lean far enough over into the sink that if i was to have fallen the only place I would have gone was head first into the sink. This way she could wash it the 'old-fashioned way'. If I started to wriggle around too much she would 'pinch' the back of my neck and move me back into position. If I had a complaint about getting water in my face I would get a towel to hold on to my face. Granted I think I was probably close to three or four or even older when I got my hair done this way but she was alone alot and didnt really have anyone to ask for help except the neighbor's wife. I'm guessing your man lives with you guys, if he's cool with it he might be of assistance by playing with her while you do her hair, peekaboo, the isy bitsy spider etc. If she still has difficulty later on (2 or 3 yrs old) if she's responsive to it, play simon says to keep her where you need her. Or you can sit her down and talk to her and see if you can get her to understand what happens when she gets riled up during bath time by reminding her that she did slip and fall one time and that it's much safer and quicker to just get rinsed off. I actually have OCD and I still have a major problem with getting my face wet in the shower (if I wash my face I need to dry it off right away after im done with it) try offering her a towel or wash rag that she can hold up to her face to keep it dry. I know I've been giving an opinion and info overload here but one more thing to try would maybe be to simply get her to tilt her head back. Hope it helps. Good luck.

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V.A.

answers from St. Louis on

A washcloth over my daughters face always helped.

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C.S.

answers from St. Louis on

When my oldest daughter was about that age we went through the same thing. I tried the hats, the special cup, etc all to no avail. The thing that ended up working for us was a Dora connection. She loved the Dora video with the "High Tower" in it. So, one day I told her to look at the high tower. I rinsed her beautifully. She is almost eight and we still use "High Tower" in our home (for the younger ones). Be creative and know it doesn't last forever.

Chris

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A.C.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter has gone back and forth with this problem (she turned 2 in A.). She even went through a phase where she hated getting in the tub and would scream as soon as she heard me turn the water on (that was a great time). I am not sure what the bath rings are, but when my daughter was 1 I had one of those seats for the tub that fastens to the side of the tub, this made it harder for her to escape. I also would wash her hair very first that way she would have some time to play after, and would hopefully remember that more than the tramatic hair washing. Kids this age are so strange they go from loving things to hating them and back to loving them. You will probably try something goofy as a last resort and it will solve the problem. Just be patient she will get over it soon and will have a different problem before you know it.

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B.L.

answers from Columbia on

My son was the same way. He hated getting the water in his eyes. I had him hold a dry hand towel over his face when I was rinsing his hair. That kept the water out of his eyes. Don't know if you daughter is old enough to hold the towel herself. It's worth a try.

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L.L.

answers from Wichita on

I too had problems getting my daughter's hair washed when she was young. Our house has mirrors on the bathroom ceiling (not my doing). One day, I thought to tell my daughter to look up and see herself in the mirror above. I would then get some soap on her hair and make it into funny shapes that she could see by looking in the mirror. While you most likely don't have mirrors on your bathroom ceiling (in fact, I may be the only person ever to have that strange thing), maybe you could try just getting a small one for your daughter.
Good luck with whatever advice you decide to go with!

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J.H.

answers from Kansas City on

A.,
I used to have the same problem with my daughter. She's now 3 1/2 yrs old....so it's been a while and she does a lot better now. I remember trying hard to just use a little shampoo so it would wash out quicker. I also put a sun visor type hat on her and hung something interesting on the shower head and told her to look at it. The brim on the sunvisor made her have to tilt her head back. The item we hung up was a yellow duck bath poof. Now that she's older I just have her hold a wash cloth over her eyes and ears and she tilts her head back willingly. Hope maybe this helps, I know you said you already tried the hat thing.
I used to work a a vet clinic and we had a man that would bring us his retired greyhounds and we'd try to find homes for them. I always wished I could take one, but I lived in an apartment then. My daughter's "brother" is our "first born boy" Ben. He's a German Shepherd. Maybe we'll get a greyhound next time. How are they around your daughter. I've heard they are NOT good with cats. Glad to hear at least 2 found a good home with your family.

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V.S.

answers from St. Louis on

My 3 year old son is the same way. The one thing that has helped a little bit is swim goggles. I let him pick out the color he wanted and he wears them during the washing and rinsing of his hair. It still isn't easy, but he tolerates the rinsing much better than before.

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B.B.

answers from Kansas City on

A.,
Does she have chronic ear infections? My son loved baths until it was time to rinse his hair. It took a while for us to realize that it was because of his ears that he fought so hard during the rinse. Once he got tubes placed in his ears, the challenge was to help him over the fear of the water. He accociated pain in his ears to the water. I hope this helps you.

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S.T.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter and I play "beauty parlor." She's seen me go to the salon and watched them wash my hair. So, I put a towel across the edge of the kitchen sink and lay her up on the counter. I put her head back just far enough that her hair is over the sink, but the towel does catch some of the water so we don't make too big of a mess. My sink has the little hose I can pull out, but have used a cup when we did it at Grandma's house. She's 2 years old and not really afraid of water in her face, but her hair is so long and gets so tangled that I started using my shampoo and conditioner on her and was worried about it stinging her eyes when I rinsed. Now my 1 year old son wants me to wash his hair that way too. I guess its just fun to pretend we're at the salon and they like being about to climb on the kitchen counter! :)

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L.H.

answers from St. Louis on

A.,
Hi! Have you tried holding her in the shower with you? Fortunately, I didn't have quite the struggles that you are experiencing, but my daughter didn't like the "leaning" back part and water being poured over her head that she couldn't see. So I tried the shower thing. I made a "game" out of putting my head (and face) under the spray from the shower. Letting her see me have fun with it helped her forget that she was even getting her hair washed. One of the things I did was to close my eyes, put my face in the spray and count to 10. The shower was "fun", but I also accomplished my mission of getting her hair washed. Before she was 4, she was showering on her own - with me close by. Good luck! I hope bath or shower time becomes more fun for both of you!

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T.Z.

answers from Topeka on

I pretend that someone or something is on the ceiling and my daughter has to look all the way up to see them. While she's doing that we make up a little story about what they're doing and why they are on the ceiling and I rinse her hair.

I hope you find something that works for you.

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M.L.

answers from St. Louis on

encourage her to do it then. Tell her to make bubbles apear on her head show her a mirror and then say now you have to lay back and make them dissapear like a majic act. then again show her the mirror and let her see what she was able to do. Then applaude her. make it fun. put different twists on it.

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