Getting Toddler to Sleep Through the Night in HIS Own Bed!

Updated on October 11, 2010
M.O. asks from Tinley Park, IL
5 answers

Hi Mamas,

I have a 2 yr 8 month boy. For the last month, he has been waking up at night, wanting me to go sleep with him in his bed. The latest is the he now comes and crawls into our bed. It seems fine, but he tosses and turns alot or wakes up and asks for something or other. In the end, no one is getting a good night sleep. I am 5.5 months pregnant and I was hoping to get some good sleep till the baby arrived, but it seems my son has other plans. Any one experiencing or experienced this? any advice on how to get him to sleep through the night on his own in his own bed? below is some more info on when his sleep pattern went haywire and the recent changes in the house.

He was sleeping through the night till July when my sister and her family stayed with us for about 10 days. During that time, he was "kicked" out of his bed/room. He also caught on to the potty training at that time. After the guest left, I went back to our regular schedule; then, in August my husband was on vacation for a week. My hubby works a lot because I am a SAHM so when he is home, my son wants his undivided attention and my hubby was giving into his every request. SInce then, the bad sleep pattern began. In late august, my son started preschool and in sept, his seasonal allergies kicked in big time. He also had a the stomach bug last week. Still have cough and phlegm from allergies. I talked to his doc to see what we can do as I though that may be part of the sleep problem. But at this point, I think he just got used to waking up and coming to sleep with us or sleep with him. ANother thing is that his behavior has changed a lot in the last month where he cries and whine for everything!

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A.F.

answers from Chicago on

It could be possible he is teething also, around that age kids start to get their remaining molars (eight total).

D.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, I’m D. M. from the GoodNites NiteLite Panel. Mamapedia is partnering with GoodNites and your question is definitely relevant to what I talk about with the NiteLite Panel so I wanted to provide my advice. I have six children and can certainly understand your desire and need for a good night’s sleep! First, I would create and stick to a calming bedtime routine. Doing the same things (like bathing, putting on pajamas, having a snack, brushing teeth, reading a story and cuddling) in the same order every night helps your child calm down before bed. By sticking to a routine, they know what’s coming next and light’s out is no surprise to them. If your child wakes up in the middle of the night, you can let them climb into bed with you if you don’t mind and everyone sleeps well. Some people use a family bed to sleep. However, if you don’t sleep well that way and/or want your child to learn to sleep in their own bed, put them back in their room when they awake in the middle of the night. Spend a few minutes, comforting them. Decrease the time spent comforting them every night until they learn to put themselves back to sleep. It will take some time and you must be consistent so make sure you start at a time where everyone can afford to lose a little sleep for a few nights. Those few sleepless nights will pay off when your child learns to comfort himself and fall back asleep on his own. For more tips of helping your children get to sleep and sleep through the night, visit Goodnites.com which is an excellent source of information on nighttime issues

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

He really should still be in a crib. Once my kid was in a toddler bed it bothered my that he could just get up and mill around the house unbeknown to us when we were asleep! I put a gate at his door for that reason. Maybe it would help you too.

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I was about that far along with our daughter, when our son (who was about the same age as yours) started the night visits too. lol It's not fun, huh?

I would suggest that he is whining and crying because he isn't sleeping well, and because his routine has gone haywire and he doesn't really know what to expect due to all the disruptions (guests, being displaced, Daddy home on vacation and spoiling him, illness, etc). So, to get back on track I would go back to being as routine oriented as you can. Tell him in advance how the day (and night) will go as much as you can. ("Today after 'school' we will ___. After dinner it will be bath time and then bedtime. You will sleep all night in your bed so you can get a good night's rest so that you will feel well at school tomorrow." That sort of thing... with gentle reminders throughout the day for the coming activities -- picking him up from school at lunch, you remind him that after lunch is naptime, for ex.)
Then comes the hard part. At night, when he comes to your bedside, quietly get up (as little talking as you can) and walk him back to his room/bed. Tuck him into bed, tell him nite nite and go back to your bed. Don't carry him... have him walk. He walked there, he can walk back. You may have to do this 6 times the first night or two. But then it should get less and less. Within a week or so he should be very close to being fully adjusted to sleep in his own bed all night again. You just have to be consistent. ONE NIGHT of allowing him to crawl in with you, and you will have to start ALL OVER AGAIN. Be strong. You will be exhausted from getting up walking him over and over the first few nights. But honestly, I NEVER slept well with our son in bed with us. If he crawled into bed with us, it was fine for about 20 minutes. Then he would start tossing/turning and was always poking me or flopping on me or whatever and I was much better served to just get up and walk him back to his room right from the start, because I ended up having to do it anyway after laying there for 45 minutes hoping he'd get still.

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M.Z.

answers from Indianapolis on

I have a 2.5 yr old with the same problem as well. He started sleeping in our bed while he was really sick this spring. It has been a constant battle since he had his tonsils out. We knew that while he was sick we were not willing to fight that battle. Now that he is better we are trying to get him back in his bed. He goes to bed in his bed with no problems. We put a gate up to keep him in there most of the night. We take in down usually some time during the night because we can't let him stay in there in the mornings. We haven't mastered the mronings yet though. He still crawls in bed with us at about 6:00 til 8:30 when his sister wakes up. So, try a gate at his door. Since your new baby isn't here yet (congrats btw) you could keep it up all night. It might take a day or two of crying but he'll figure out that you're not going to come and take it down. Good luck.

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