Getting Son in the House Without a Meltdown

Sometimes, children fall into a habit of crying or "melting down" during certain transitions. I've seen it many times. When I saw a habit forming, I tried to change the circumstance. For example, when children cried because their parents came to the door to pick them up from care and they would have to leave the house, I started to have the child play outside ten minutes or so before the parent arrived. This changed the situation and the crying was resolved.

In the case of your son, here are some suggestions:

Create a new ritual. Play a game with him where he ends up in the house without a lot of talk and warnings. Perhaps a "follow the leader" game.

Go in a different door. Do you usually go in the front or back? Try the other one.

Some children love to ring a doorbell or use a knocker. This is an inviting way to go inside.

A transition song is also helpful. Many preschools sing the same song every time it's time to go inside. It's easy to make one up too. "It's time to go inside/ It's time to go inside/ We're going to have lunch and so it's time to go inside."

Have a Treasure Ritual. Ask your child to find one nature treasure (rock, leaf, stick, snail shell, anything...)and have a Treasure Bowl almost immediately inside the door. When your son notices something special, let him know that he can put it in the treasure bowl, and when it's time to go inside, you can tell him "oh, I see it's time to put that leaf in the treasure bowl."

All these suggestions aside, the meltdowns during transitions is very common. Do your best to keep these times playful, and then do your best to be empathetic. He must really love playing outside to be so sad. Growing up and adjusting to the adult schedule and expectations is hard work. He might like to make a book with you sometimes about "Things I like to do outside"... just ask him what he likes to do. Acknowledging his feelings is a great way for him to feel understood by you.

My best...three's are such their own people!

I would say, "It is time to come in, if you throw a fit you will sit in time out for 3 minutes or until you stop crying." Then follow through, don't talk more about it - if he acts out put him in time out immediately. If he behaves appropriately praise him.

Time outs usually get the point across to my son and he is getting better about not throwing fits. A funny side note: my son was actually upset the other day because I put a shelf in his usual time out slot. :)

My daughter used to have such a challenge with transitions and it didn't seem to get any better. We had an evaluation with Advanced Pediatric Theraputic in Portland 4 years ago and it was one of the best things we have done. Sharron Donnnelly,occupational therapist,just opened an office in
Vancouver and is having a OPEN HOUSE Feb. 17th 4 to 8:30 pm
Advanced Pediatric Therapies, Specialists in Sensory Processing Disorders, 11320 NE 49th Street Suite 208
###-###-####. I would highly recommend checking it out.
So many kids have Sensory challenges: transitions,sensitive to noise, some foods,tags on clothing and sometimes it is not discovered for years. If worked with early, change can be much quicker and with excellent results. We are really please with the help with recieved with Sharron. Best Wishes

I would stop paying attention to his meltdowns. It's time to come in and that's it. No coaxing, no explaining, one warnng perhaps 5 minutes ahead of time. When he cries, tantrums, or whatever he does during a meltdown ignore him. He continues with meltdowns because he is getting some sort of reward. Probably doesn't seem like a reward to you. Along the line of "negative attention is better than no attention" or if I scream, Mama tries to make me feel better. Perhaps without realizing it you let him stay out a few minutes more.

Wow...sounds tiring. My only, meager, suggestion would be to buy him some kind of cool timer/ stopwatch to set? Maybe he'll feel in charge then. This is a toughy! Good luck.