Getting Divorced but Tomorrow's Our 6Th and Final Anniversary -- What Do I Do?!

Updated on June 19, 2009
N.S. asks from Chicago, IL
4 answers

Hi moms -- got an odd question but nonetheless looking for an answer. My husband and I are getting divorced and I have already started some proceedings (long story short, he's not mentally stable and has been abusive in the past, not interested in me anymore and we both are ready to move on to a happier place hopefully. He does care about me and the kids but has a funny way of showing it.) Anyway, tomorrow is our 6th and final anniversary and it just seems like I should do something to mark it. Not necessarily for him per se' just to give closure to the relationship since its so timely. Is that crazy or should I just ignore it?

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So What Happened?

Thank you to those who responded. I appreciate you taking the time to answer! The reason why I asked was cause I have such mixed feelings about today. I sat down with him last night to ask if we could do something small with the kids and he wasn't interested so I'm going out with them instead. I think he is just putting up a wall since its painful for him on some level too. I really am looking forward to moving on but its very sad that today is a monumental day which will no longer be relevant between him and me.

More Answers



answers from Chicago on

It's not crazy. You all need closure and if this is the next step, then you definitely need to do the things that is going to help you get through this.

My ex (fiance) and I actually went out to dinner. It was kind of like a memorial/ way to end on a good note and try to build a friendship out of the "new" relationship (that is to say no relationship). You have children and I so would say that it's even more vital to try to maintain some sort of relationship. I think dinner would be a perfect way to try to come to an agreement on things.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

Why not make it the First anniversary of the redefined family (you, ex, and kids as a united family of two homes)?



answers from Chicago on

In response to your follow-up...that is really sad. I'm sorry to hear you are going through this, but soon you'll be able to have the life that you wish to live.


answers from Chicago on

N. - There's a reason why you're getting divorced and although this may be a painful day for you, maybe you should reflect on why you would want to mark this day as special with someone who abused you and is mentally unbalanced. I mean this only in the nicest way, but seriously, don't you think there's something a little wrong with that idea? Why would you want to do that? You committed your life to him, had children with him and he was abusive toward you. I'm not surprised that while you were thinking of having some type of event around this, he wanted nothing to do with it. I agree with the person who wrote that you should do something to celebrate your freedom from spending your life with someone who is unstable and abusive.

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