Getting Bit at Daycare

This is a frequent occurrence. My daughter has been bit several times at daycare. On the 3rd occurrence (and I'm a very patient person!) I spoke with the director(s) about it and wanted to find out what EXACTLY they were doing about it. They told me they had someone shadowing her and then in a couple of weeks the child was sent on a 2 week "Leave" from daycare. She has returned and has been biten one more time. I'm not sure at this point if it is starting up again, but I'm glad to know that my daycare would prefer to get rid of a problem child than lose several other children.

On the other hand I realize how difficult it also must be for the parents of the biter. Some children just bite, some hit, some throw fits. It's a development thing that they have to outgrow. My older brother was a biter and bit me ALL the time and I know how frustrating it was for my mother.

Good luck. I know what you are going through.

A friend of mine just went through this same thing. She talked to the director and they said that they were “shadowing” the little girl— they assigned one staff member to follow her around, and when she tried to bite, they’d pull her away, get close to her face and tell her "no." Apparently, they didn't have any luck with this, so they finally expelled the girl. Before that happened, my friend was ready to talk to other parents-- if her little one was getting bitten, surely other kids were, too. She planned to join forces with other parents and demand that they take action-- otherwise, they would all walk. It was a great idea-- I'm sure the daycare would prefer getting rid of one problem child, vs. losing several. Also, a good point you may want to make to the daycare-- in addition to bullying the other children (and teaching them that it is acceptable behavior), you've also got a health issue-- the child that bit my friend's son would sometimes bite so hard, she'd break the skin-- which is a risk for diseases and infection.

Another possibility— we put my daughter in a Montessori school. It honestly didn’t cost that much more than the daycare she’d been in. They were much more structured and the kids actually learned a lot, vs. running around and getting into mischief. Montessori schools are really wonderful places— each child learns at his own pace and is able to pick out activities that he is interested in. They make the learning really fun— it’s like the kids don’t even realize they are learning. Also, they typically put some younger and some older kids in a class together. The older kids have a chance to help out the younger ones— which just reinforces what they’ve learned. We didn’t put my daughter in one until she was around 3, but I wish we had put her in much earlier. I had a friend tell me that in her room, babies would crawl up to a sink (that was near the floor) and wash their hands— pretty amazing!

Good luck! Thankfully, I never had this issue with my daughter. I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be.

I would absolutely not tolerate this. Did they inform of the bite or did you just see it? They have a duty to write up every incident that occurs in the daycare. I would be quite concerned. Children that bite typically end up getting expelled - usually a three strikes rule. I would spend some time talking to the director and if you don't feel like you are getting answers then I woudl start looking for alternate daycare. Biting is a very serious issue. If you do not receive incident reports when your child has a mark like that, I would let the day care director know that you want that information. Good luck - it is hard to find quality child care.

I dont have much advice for you, but I will tell you that I have a biter! She is 19 months old and bites out of the blue- I dont know how to stop her. Time outs, seperations etc, they dont work. Also, I have worked in 2 different day cares and yes it happens all over. A couple of occurences you may have to write off to toddler behavior, but if it continues you have to put your foot down. It is unacceptable, but its a hard thing to tame. My daughter just bites occasionally, and its usually big sister that gets it. Its not when shes mad, they can be playing and all of the sudden she bites! It is very frustrating and I feel for your little one- I know it hurts!! Find out how often its happening- and if its all the time- that child needs to be removed, not your child! Good Luck to you.

Biting can be a common occurence at daycares, but having them happen too frequently can aslo be a sign that the teacher to child ratio is to low. I would mark down what day she comes home with the marks and where they are located and then mention every one of them to your daycare supervisor. If they are happening more than once a week, sit down and talk to your provider and demand some answers. Its really a pain to find a new provider, but if they are not willing to answer your questions or don't seem to care about your concerns, they are probably not caring to well for your daughter. I am a childcare provider, and if a child gets hurt in any way, I let the parents know immediately. If they find a bruise that I wasn't aware of and ask me about it, I really listen to them and then I kind of investigate and keep a really close eye on the child I think is responsible for the biting, hitting, etc. I might not catch everything, but if a kid was leaving my care with bites or bruises all the time, I would feel like I wasn't doing my job.