Getting 5Yr. Old to School.

Poor thing! Lunchtime may be very scarey because there are so many children, most of whom she doesn't know. See if there is any way she can eat her lunch in the office for a short time until she gets used to the school environment. If it is separation anxiety, you could try reading her the book "The Kissing Hand." It really works!

I understand where you're coming from. I also have a 5 year old daughter and we've had to deal with some sensory issues with her too. Fortunately, she's outgrown a lot of things that used to bother her but we still deal with some issues. We used to have the hardest time getting her to flush the toilet and wash her hands because she said the water was too loud. Also, for a while, every time the heat/ac would kick on when she was in bed she used to wake up and cry because it was too loud. We're still working on the vacuum and the blender. She also never wants to go to the movie theater because she says it's too loud and it hurts her ears.

Do you pack her lunch or does she eat school lunch? If you pack her lunch then you could try putting something special in her lunch box each day so she would have something to look forward to at that time. You could give her special snack, write a short and simple note or draw a little picture. Maybe if she knew she had something to look for then she would be a little distracted.

Also, a lot of times the little ones have assigned seating when they eat lunch. If the teacher is willing to work with you maybe you could ask your daughter if she would rather sit by a different friend at lunch - it may make her feel more comfortable.

Good luck. :)

Could it be an issue with another child or group of kids? My youngest DD had crying before bedtime stress in K, not wanting to go to school for a time due to issues with peers at lunch time. Turns out a few girls in her class (and one dominant bossy girl in particular) were pushing and shoving and fighting and even crying over who was going to sit next to my DD and she was extremely stressed out by the whole ordeal. The classroom teacher knew the girls' issues, and could keep a watchful eye over the whole dynamic in the classroom. But in the lunchroom, the classroom teacher is not present. They did not have that kind of direct supervision by the lunch ladies. They were not allowed to change tables so my DD felt trapped. After a talk with her teacher, it was worked out that she sat at another K table with a quiet neighbor friend in another classroom. The other girls in her class could not follow her there. Problem solved. Recess was stressful again due to issues with the bossy girl, but once brought to the teacher's attention and the adults in charge knew what to be on the lookout for, things greatly improved. It sounds more like sensory issues for your DD, but I would ask about how interactions work with her peers during lunch and recess just to see if there aren't any issues you don't know about.

My six year old son also does not do well with large groups and loud noises. Sometimes they bring him to tears. It is a sensory processing *issue*, but not neccessarily a *disorder* that requires therapy. Maybe just a little bit of TLC :)
My son hates drop off at school, I discovered just by watching and being there during the first ten minutes, that it is CRAZY busy in a super small space with every child trying to hang up their backpack, unload their homework folder, line up to mark on the lunch board, and get to their seat. In the winter time add in every kid sitting on the floor taking off their snow gear, which is now piled high and kids are literally tripping and falling over each other.
I started dropping him off inside his classroom instead of on the playgroud - which is also crazy busy because the whole school is out there, during recess it is broken up two grades at a time. He was able to do his morning routine with no one else there, and then sit at his desk; when the rest of the kids came filing in he was able to wave goodbye with a smile.
This year his teacher would really like for him to come inside by himself, so we have had some rough days. Dad just left with the Army, so we are dealing with seperation anxiety on top of sensory stuff!
Just a note, my son also does not like the doctor, and FREAKED OUT when the eye doctor had to put eye drops in his eyes (flailing and screaming and had to be pinned down, he looked like a wild animal!) We have left several movies because he decided it was too loud in the first five minutes (other movies he has sat through just fine). He is pretty picky about clothes and food, and friends (he doesn't like noisy or super fast moving kids).
See if her teacher is willing to let her come in early and get settled, this may help your mornings go better. Also, if you are available, go have lunch with her. Watch what is going on and see if there is a way for you to help her handle lunch time on her own, or go have lunch every day if you want to! She would love it, and so would the other kids. I go have lunch with my son about three times a week and the other kids just love chatting with me :)

My 5 yr old who also started Kindergarten this year had similar struggles the first few weeks of school. She didn't want to go, cried and cried each morning. When she finally was able to explain what was so upsetting, scary, etc. she said lunch time. She hated it - too loud, too many kids, didn't know where to sit or with whom, too many containers. This is a girl who is very independent, takes care of her younger siblings, easily makes friends so I was a little surprised by some of this. I never knew lunch time at school would be such a scary thing. I immediately talked to the teacher who said she was not able to tell anything was wrong with her, but the teacher acted quickly by setting her up with a few lunch buddies who also brought a home lunch. That made a world of difference - she knew who to go sit with each day. Also, she was challenged by the number of containers I'd send. Even if I sent 3 small, easy to open containers, that apparently was too many - too many to open, too many to pack up at the end. Narrowing it down to two seemed to help. And, a special note that she could read (like "I love you!") was very special to her. I surprised her one day and popped in at lunch and joined her at the table. That gave me a chance to experience the lunchroom atmosphere and maybe help her deal with her uneasiness even more.

Getting more comfortable with the whole routine of lunch time and the whole day away from home took a few weeks. Now she says her favorite time of day is lunch time (and recess and gym)! Lunch buddies, fewer containers in her lunch box, and being patient might be all it takes. My guess is that your daughter is anxious about being away from home & mom and she'll get more comfortable with a bit more time.

Hope all goes well, sooner than later.

Breakfast time at my school is crazy, and some of my preschoolers don't want to go down to the cafeteria for that reason. I have some mature 8th grade helpers who assist them every morning, and now my little ones are fine with breakfast. Could your daughter have an older helper to assist her at lunch and help her feel safe and calm?

Ask her why she doesn't like it. What is happening with too many kids. Sometimes they will witness rough housing or bullying and fear that will happen to them. It is scary doing new things especially if there is behavior they aren't use to. Boys rough house, older kids tease younger kids or each other and if the kids aren't use to that it can be really nerve wreaking. If you are able, can you go have lunch with her once in a while? I know we were allowed to plan lunches with our children when they were in school. Also have the teachers watch her to make sure she isn't getting picked on to rule that out.

When my daughter was a baby and at that age (she has since outgrown a lot of this and it is no longer an issue)... my daughter was always sensitive to noises.
When she was in Kindergarten... SHE 'complained' about those SAME things, as your daughter is doing.
Too much noise, too loud, too many kids, all in one room etc.
And to some kids, it can just seem so 'chaotic' in the cafeteria.
And the recess after lunch, can seem so chaotic too, to some kids.
Because it is 'free play' and not all orderly. That is what recess, is.
It is, free play. The many kids just run around after lunch, although there ARE adults supervising the playground.

Anyway, my daughter was fine... although these things tweaked her.
It was an adjustment.

As parents, we have ALWAYS known... that since babyhood, by daughter was sensitive to sounds/noise. It was not in a disruptive degree... but she is just sensitive that way. She still is to a certain extent... but only when she is very tired. She is now 8 years old. So we simply TAUGHT her, to KNOW HERSELF... and to speak up in a 'nice' manner about it.

As I said, my daughter has outgrown most of this by now.

Other than that, my daughter is a normal kid, who knows herself well... and per her cues. Because we taught her that. And we know these things about her.
It was never to the degree, that something was drastically wrong with her. Nor did it impede or disrupt my daughter or her life in any way. But sure, she is sensitive to sounds. She is noise sensitive.
I am too to a certain degree. My ears, are very sensitive and it can tweak me.

Anyway, my daughter likes school, adjusted fine, has friends and is a great student.

Also, maybe your daughter is tired.... by lunch time and thus, is more noise sensitive by then. And plus with the cafeteria and after-lunch recess crowd of kids... it discombobulates her.

It is GOOD GOOD GOOD, that your daughter is speaking up and told her Teacher.
MAYBE, you can too.
AND maybe, your daughter's cafeteria seating assignment... can be adjusted so that she is sitting next to the 'calmer' kids, instead????
I would venture to suggest this to the Teacher.
In the cafeteria, the kids have assigned seating.

I would look deeper into Sensory Processing Disorder (the new name for Sensory Integration Disorder), especially given what your daughter is telling you--that there are too many kids at lunchtime, and that lunchtime is too loud. And that recess bothers her (what bothers her about recess? Not being structured? Not having any friends to play with (social issues)?

My daughter has SPD. By working with her, things get better over time as she learns how to adjust and adapt and learns tricks as to how to handle situations. Loud noises really, really bothered her when she was young (she's now 11). I took her to a quilt expo this year; was a little concerned as to how she'd handle it. She told me almost right away that she was overwhelmed by all the people/too busy. But she bravely forged on and toughed it out, because she really wanted to see all the vendors. But I was fully prepared to take her home and go back on my own if it was too much.

Go to the library and check out some books on SPD. They'll give you some wonderful pointers on how to handle her issues. Or you can contact me.