Future Advice for a Mother of Two Daughters.

I don't have 2 girls, but I grew up with my sister (we are 22 months apart, I am the elder).
They may be girly girl or tom boy or anywhere in between and that can change at any time.
They are individuals, they might share some similarities, but they might not.
Don't force them to always be together if they need some time apart.
They might be best friends for life or bitter enemies.
You never know what you're going to get.
You want to treat them similarly (no favorites) but at the same time, their needs might be different so strictly treating them the same no matter what might not be the best way to go.
Just take each day as it comes.

I have two daughters (ages 8 and 5), and they put the color in my world. They are amazing, and so much fun. Their personalities are SO different, they are so not what I expected! You're still dealing with the age where you can pretty much dress them however you want, fix their hair, etc. Wait til they start telling you about their strong opinions! My 5-year-old swore off all dresses by age 4, and everything in her closet is blue. She will only let me buy her shoes in the boys' section. This morning, she wore basketball shorts, a t-shirt, and buzz lightyear shoes to school. She's my tomboy. My other daughter is more girly, and will ONLY wear dresses. :) I love their unique-ness, I think it's part of the fun of having girls.

My advice would be to embrace exactly who they are. Raising a strong, independent girl is difficult, they get so much pressure from everywhere to be a certain way. My goal is to be 'home' for them. A place they can always go to be EXACTLY who they are.

One weird thing that happens when you have 2 teenaged girls in the house is that your periods tend to synchronize. This happened when my 2 girls were teens. It's scary... 3 women with pms in the same house at the same time. You might want to warn DH ahead of time.

I have an almost 8 year old girl. She is a very good girl, very bright, very funny. Beautiful in every way. My biggest fear for her is "am I teaching her to believe in herself? Will she have enough self-love?"

This blog post about sums it up. (it wasn't written by me)

http://blog.pigtailpals.com/2011/08/waking-up-full-of-awe...

Okay, I can't get the link to work, so you're going to have to cut and paste. But I try every few days to let her know that I believe in her. I even whisper that to her at bedtime. "I believe in you. You're my hero". I want her strong and confident and assured.

I was scared to death I'd get a girly girl....and I got a girly girl!

All things ribbon and bows and sparkles. But at 9 she's all over doing things her way and being comfortable. If that sparkly shirt makes it too hard to do the monkey bars - out it goes! If that dress doesn't work with bike shorts underneath - nope, no way (unless it's for church) because she can't climb a tree.

so, embrace them, love them and let them lead the way.

I do try very hard to avoid stereotypes (I do this with my son also). she fishes, hikes, skis. she's better at climbing trees than her older brother. unlike 35-40 years ago, you can be a girly girl and a tomboy at the same time now.

when we get older and get towards make-up, I've told her we'll go in to Macy's and ask for help - no way can I teach her this stuff!
we have fun playing with hair (braids - 5 in one day once) and toe nail polish and then we go out for a run.

my worry is that I'm not teaching her to be strong enough to fight the cultural biases and messages that seep through no matter what you try to do. we still love princess (but not at school because the cool girls have decided that's babyish) but I always try to make the princess super strong without also ignoring the prince (hey, men are important too!)

so, enjoy them, enjoy the ride and try your best to teach them your values regarding women being strong, men and women being friends and being equal, and that they can do anything. except maybe play professional baseball - that was a tough one for her to swallow.

good luck.

You are "in for" whatever your kids dish out. I was hoping for a boy, got a girl and thought, "what now?" and my DD is a wonderful blend of dinosaurs and dirt and My Little Pony and princesses. My DH is actually more likely to play tea party with her than I am. Today DD left for school in shorts, a t-shirt, sparkly light up shoes and little curly ribbons in her hair. My SD recently moved to college - she loves pettiskirts, Converse sneakers, cupcakes and comfortable jeans. If my DD ends up as self-assured as her big sis, I will be thrilled.

I will say not to feed teen and preteen drama, and to stay out of the who did this or that or isn't friends with who anymore middle school girl drama. Just let most of it ride and they'll figure it out on their own. Have an open door to listen and listen more than you speak.

Maybe they'll love pink or maybe they'll love fishing or maybe they'll get into science or...just treat them as the individuals they are and you'll be FINE. If I can learn to keep straight Superman, Spiderman, Batman and Green Lantern and know that Halo refers not to something godly but to a game, you can keep up with your girls. (My stepson speaks a foreign language to me - comics and video games.) ENJOY watching who they become.

Basically just be there for her. If she wants dump trucks and dirt fine. If she wants pink ruffles on the bed curtain fine. If she wants them both at the same time great.

My daughter preferred the dump trucks to the pink scene. I did her room up in pinks and she informed me that she did not like pink so there went all the work out the window. The pink got toned down with other colors. She is just getting into pink at 35.

Be a role model for your daughter(s) in what you do. Show your strenths and weaknesses. Explain yourself when necessary. Always be there to be the shoulder to cry on. If you work outside the home, show her this and let her see that she can be anything she wants to be. Tell her to try things to see if she likes them. It's easier to say that than the what if.

When my daughter was about 12 we went on a class trip to Austria and she got into my makeup and used the black eyeliner. It was fine but she needed the brown because of difference in skin tone. This could have gone one of two ways -- 1. I getting upset because she got into my makeup without permission or 2. We (she and I) needed to go to the beauty counter and get make up that went with her skin tone and instructions on how to apply and use. We chose the 2. To this day she can put on a fierce face or a plain jane look.

There were the times in junior high and high school where the girls get catty and pick on each other because x has w and y has z and neither shall meet in the middle. But it is part of life and ride out the storm. She has turned into a wonderful woman and we are friends. In fact in high school she told me that I was her best friend.

Above all else, let her be her own person. Don't make her live the life you wanted. Let her live her life and be there for support.

The other S.

PS Have a date day like a spa or a lunch with each or jointly for bonding and fun.

First of all, expect them to fight ALL THE TIME! My sister and I are 11 months apart and for the life of me I don't know how my parents could live in the same house with us. We fought over EVERYTHING!

BUT we were also very close. We could fight like cats and dogs, but don't let anyone else do the same. We protected each other fiercely - still do!

With my GD who is a girly girl, I have found that I need to get her out of bed just a bit earlier than I normally would because she HAS to fix her hair, put on her jewelry, etc. You have to allow girly girls a bit more time to get ready.

One thing that I read on here and I definitely plan to put into play, is to have the girls' dad take them out on dates when they get older so dad can show them how they should expect to be treated by young suitors. I had never thought of that before, but I have talked to hubby and we definitely plan for him to take GD out for dates, starting at around age 13 - 14. We want her to do it so much that she just expects to be treated properly and the minute she is not, she will recognize it and put an end to the date.

Good luck. Enjoy the girls. They are soooo much fun. Make-up, hair, nails, boys, girl talk..........

2 girls? And there will be too much estrogen in the house. lol. Get ready for the ride! Im sure your hubby wont feel that way once they start dating. lol. My kids are from ages 2-19 boys and girls so Ive seen it all. Im sure their at the "mommy I love you" stage. And soon will be at the "princess and pink age"
Age 5- starts the picky stage. Want their hair done a certain way. Certain clothes, shoes and accessories.
Age 10- they will think they know everything and you are the dumb one. They will wish they were teenagers. "Mom youre embarrassing me"
Teenage years is when the real (fun)began. lol. not! You will want to choke them out at times. They go through the "boy crazy" "talking back and lying" "I cant wait to get out of here" "You are ruining my life" But around age 17 they start to come back around to reality. Only except they wont have much time for you. Hanging out with friends all the time. You are a woman yourself so Im sure you already know about this because you have been there and done that. Its a joy to have girls because you can really relate to them and do the things that you did or always wanted to do as a child. Cheerleading, shopping for prom, first crush, you have sooo many things to look forward too! ENJOY!