3 Boys and Now a Girl?

Updated on December 17, 2006
M.W. asks from Racine, WI
22 answers

My husband and I have 3 boys 7, 5, and 1 1/2 and we just had an ultrasound and found out we're having a girl in April! I grew up a tomboy and had one brother. I'd still take a ball game, beer and a hot dog over anything that normal women do. My husband and I are almost afraid of having a girl. The boys are all very excited that it's a girl and talk about how they want to help feed her and want her to sleep in their rooms and much more. I feel like I won't know how to raise a girl since I never wore dresses or played with dolls or the like. I have 3 nieces that are 12, 11, and 3 and they all seem so "girly"... can anyone help calm my nerves and offer some advice on how to transition from 3 boys to 3 boys and a girl?

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A.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

Let me tell you having a girl changes everything for a woman/mom to be. I too was a super tomboy growing up as I was the only girl in my dads family and all the kids in my moms family were way younger than I. I did not care for make up nor did I care for fashion until my daughter came along. I find that I am more girly now and pink is now one ofmy favorite colors(before I hated pink)

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C.

answers from Madison on

I can relate, I was also apprehensive when I found out that my baby was a girl. I immediately flashed to my own brooding, teenage years and was terrified. That's a long way away though, they don't come out as teenagers, so you'll have plenty of time to adjust to being the mom of a girl.

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S.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'm a farm girl...and total tomboy! My oldest is a boy and my little one is a girl. Now, I wanted to have a little girl...so it wasn't that. But I think whenever you get the other gender, you kind of wonder "how will I do this! I know boys!(Or girls...whichever!". You just figure it out.

My little lady is a good mix of tomboy and girlie. She hates having her hair done (she's got a TON Of it...and it KILLS Me! LOL) and she loves to wrestle with her older brother and run and play hard. She's another little girl that you can dress in pink little dresses, but you can bet she'll be throwing down in the sandbox with the best of them! LOL

It's fun...just be you..and it'll all come! CONGRATS!

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S.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

I laughed when I read your question. I was in the same boat. I thought I would have boys and ended up having two girly girls, now 7 and 5. I was the tomboy and grew up in a family of all boys. In college I became friends with all my boyfriend's guy friends and roommates and after he and I split, I remained friends with most of his guy friends, a few to this day. One day I was at Mike’s house, one of my best friends from college who married a girl that I just love, questioning and laughing that I was the one with the daughters. May his comment give you as much comfort as it did me, “Of course God gave you girls, because you have always understood men. We need more woman like you!” Enjoy that little girl, you will do just fine!

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Ok I can totally relate with you. I am still a tomboy I'm 26. My mom wasn't around and my Dad raised my two brothers and I. I have always wanted to be a mom and love it. I hate to admidt but I wanted a boy so bad and when the ultrasound said girl I froze. I am SOOoooooooo happy I have my little girl now though. She's my only child. I tried to dress her tomboyish when she was a toddler but always stuck a bow in her hair so ppl would know she was a girl. I think boy clothes are so cute I'm weird but I love primary colors. Well my daughter is the complete opposite she is a total girlie girl. She loves makeup more than I do. I had her play teeball this summer becuase it was my dream to have my kids in baseball. She hated it! I have learned that my daughter is who she is and I actually get great joy watching her be so girlie and cute. I've changed alot I now love pink ruffly clothes and dresses. I love my daughter and wouldn't change her for the world. It's bringing the more femine girly girl out in myself. Girls are alot of fun and it will be a whole new experiance than with your boys you will love it. Dance Class and Hair bows etc.... From my experiance with doing childcare boys seem more aggressive and bounce off the walls and most girls are calmer and sweeter. You will love the mother/daughter outings and moments. I honestly don't know what I would do if I had a boy I am so glad I have a little girl she's my mini-me looks like my twin.My daughter is a blast to go shopping with. Kids are who they are, I almost tried to make her a little tomboy and she is who she is you can't make them be something as I have found out. I use to make fun of soccer players in highschool ( I know I was mean) my daughter begged to play soccer this fall and guess what I was the coach. I did it for her but it turned out I now really like soccer. You will love having a daughter. She'll learn to fit in and her own person within your family.

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L.C.

answers from Chicago on

God makes no mistakes! You will be thrilled and thank Him often for the smallest distinctions. It is such an important part of my life to have that girl in the midst of four boys, just listen closely to her, and you can't go wrong!

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A.S.

answers from Rochester on

I only have two children one boy and one girl I had my boy first. i also have one on the way. Anyway, I am also a tom boy. My daughter is also a tom boy I dressed her in pink but let me tell you she is in pink playing in dirt. I was scared to but it will turn out fine she isn't going to break or anything you will be a great mom you have tons of experince. Good luck. and congrats on the new baby

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R.S.

answers from Sheboygan on

I laugh at this because my sister and I were just talking about this!!
My sister has 2 boys, now 17 and 19, and a daughter 14. When she found out that she was having a girl she felt the SAME WAY!! We grew up VERY tom boy, we are 2 of 4!! So when my neice came along she thought that she couldn't do it. Ally, my neice, wanted to do EVERYTHING her brothers wanted to do and to a point still does. Ally now has begun to take on an identity of her own, one that often includes purses, make-up, and boys. My sister called to see how she should handle this. I told her I had seen your request and this is what she said...
Take it all in stride. The boys will protect her and guide her. There will come a time when she may have different wants and needs then theirs, but you will know in your hard of hearts what to do. And who knows she may end up teaching you a few things that you can do together.
When she told me to write this, she had an "aha" moment and relized that she too could find things to do with her daughter, even though they see like night and day!!
Good luck and congrats on the new addition to your family!!

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A.G.

answers from Milwaukee on

Congrats to you and your family.

When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter I felt the same way. I have always been a tomboy. I hate to dress up. I am totally comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt.
My son was so easy and I was doubtful I could raise a girl. She just turned 3 and she is an amazing person. She does like dolls and girlie things, and thankfully she has an Auntie that helps her with that kind of stuff. For the most part though, she is tougher than my sons. She loves to play ball with the boys. She watches football and other sports with me and my hubby. Her favorite thing to do is play with her cars.
Her brothers are going to be a huge part of her life and will affect the things she plays with and wants to be part of. Having a baby makes you grow and having a daughter causes a huge flood of emotions. You are going to be a wonderful mom to that precious baby girl.

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P.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Being a tomboy myself, and involved in many different sports even now, I had some of the same concerns when it came to my having a girl. I was a little worried that she would be too...girly. I was in denyal that she was a girl, until the day she was born and I was very apprehensive about her being too girly. I thought, what the heck am I going to do with a girl?

Rest assured, you will teach her what you know. In some aspects, girls are just that...girly. But,...they can be very interested in other things as well as long as you teach them who YOU are. My daughter loves bugs and worms, playing in the dirt...LOVES Frogs and catching them or playing ball with the neighborhood boys...and would prefer to play in the freezing cold outside...than to come in the house and play dolls. But, at the same time, she still loves baby dolls, pricesses, wishing wands and dresses. When you think about it more, and even ask your parents...you will probably remember being a little girly yourself. Playing with barbie dolls, wearing dresses non-stop at some stage of your life, etc. You just also learned that there are more to life than just dolls and make-up. You learned about sports and the outdoors and getting dirty. Don't you worry about her...she will be the person you teach her to be. A well rounded girl who will be able to appreciate all types of play...not just being a girly-girl. She is just like a boy, only better...because she can wear cute clothes too. Let's face it, girl clothes are much cuter than boys. Even moms with sons can attest to that.

Also,...think about when she is older and has her own babies...you will hopefully be able to enjoy all aspects of her life too. Not that you won't with a boy, but it's different with daughters...have you ever heard the saying, "A son is a son until he takes a wife. A daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life." Think about it...in most cases..it's kind of true. :) Don't worry...having a girl is wonderful! I'm a little worried I will end up having a boy someday...which I never would have thought when I was pregnant with my daughter.

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J.B.

answers from Green Bay on

Hi M.! Congratulations! I have four daughters and no sons. BUT I had two older brothers growing up and like you, I was quite the tomboy. I climbed trees, played cops and robbers. I never picked a fight, but never backed down from one either...all that stuff that little girls just "shouldn't" do. And, like you, I prefer football and amusement parks over scrap booking and tea parties.

Having three older brothers, she may just be a tomboy. However, no matter what her personality, you'll adjust quickly, I'm sure. When first born, boy or girl, they all only want to be held, cuddled, fed, warm, and dry. Like some others have said, she'll show her true personality as she developes and you will develope right along with her :)

Another plus....she will have three built in protectors :)

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J.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had a daughter first and then when we were expecting our second we found out it was a boy and we were both disappointed. We were so sure we wanted another girl - probably because we already knew how to be parents to a girl. I look back on that and wonder WHAT I was thinking - we are both absolutely enamored of our little guy. Things have a way of working out just as they should.

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C.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

Your daughter will find her own way. Since she'll be around older brothers she will learn to be strong and stand up for herself. Trust me, if she wants to be a girlie girl she'll let you know. We have mostly boy toys in our house and she loves playing with them, but we go to anybody elses house and she'll grab the dressup shoes and purses and push the baby buggy around. Everything will be wonderful, just relax and remember girls will be girls.

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D.

answers from Minneapolis on

I always thought of myself as the mom of a boy, not the mom of a girl. However, our first child was a girl and things have been just fine! I've actually started to be a little bit more girly because of her and I don't mind it. I actually wear pink sometimes even! If I were you, I would just concentrate on the beautiful baby that will soon be joining you, don't worry about whether she'll be girly enough or whether you'll know how to be the parent of a girl. Things will be just fine!

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J.

answers from Minneapolis on

As the mother of a 3 year old daughter and now a 10 month old son I have some experience with both boys and girls. I think that you realize that being the mother of a daughter is much more involved than what color she will wear while a baby and what toys she may like to play with. As you daughter grows up you will be able to share so many experiences with her that are unique to being a woman. Things such as her first period and possibly one day being pregnant as you are now. Even though you are a "tomboy" you still are a woman and are able to have experiences that your husband and sons will never have. I would embrace the fact that you have a daughter to share these experiences with for a lifetime. I am an Architect and the owner of my own business. As a woman in a male dominated field I truly believe that it is up to parents to raise strong girls who can grow into women able to take any kind of career path they would like. Please don't under-estimate the strength of your daughter and of other girls by dismissing them as being "girly" or somehow not as strong or interesting as boys. Women have more strength than you know and your daughter will amaze you with her resiliency and spirit. How are women ever going to be treated as equals by men if other women can’t appreciate, support and rejoice in the strength of women?

If you are worried about how to be a good mother to a daughter all you need to do is learn how to feed her spirit and her mind, teach her to find her passion, and how to spend a lifetime expressing that passion.

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J.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

My experience is a little different than yours. When I got pregnant, everyone told me I had to have a girl. Everyone convinced me that I couldn't have a boy, that I wouldn't know how to take care of a boy, from the day I found out I was pregnant. I had always wanted a boy, but they actually got me to change my mind, and then at my ultrasound, when I found out I was having a boy... I didn't know how to react. It didn't take long to adjust to the idea, and now I couldn't imagine having a girl (my son is 2 1/2). I am not a tomboy, but am also not very girly either. I don't really wear makeup or dresses or anything. My mom told me the day of my ultrasound that she thought I would make him gay and wimpy. She is still worried about that, and uses every minute she gets with him to try to turn him into a bully (she beleives boys should be violent, I think wrestling is good, but you have to be nice... she doesn't think boys should be nice... it's getting hard to let her anywhere near him). But everyone we meet always tells me he is pure boy and there is no question. I don't bring it up, they just see him and notice it. He is himself, and naturally chooses what he wants to be like. You were a tomboy... your daughter may be too. There isn't anything wrong with that! She will be in a house full of guys, and a mother that is a tomboy, so it would not be surprising for her to turn out that way too. If she isn't... you will adjust and learn from her friends parents as she gets older. If she wants to do ballet or anything and you don't know enough about it... just go talk to the parents of the other girls, and I am sure they will be willing to help you with things. Good luck!

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K.W.

answers from Sheboygan on

I have one daughter. When she was born, I was bound and determined not to 'condition' her to be 'girly'. I hate Barbies and the color pink! I wanted her to just be who she was, so I bought unisex toys like blocks and games, (and trucks and dolls, but not one exclusively) and I dressed her very neutral (except for the things my mother bought and insisted she have pictures taken in!)
You know what? As soon as she could show a preference, it was dresses, dolls and frilly stuff!
My best friend shared my belief that 'boy' and 'girl' behavior was nurturer, not nature. I tried to tell her we were all wrong after my experience with my dau, but she didn't believe me. She had two boys, and she started out doing the same thing...Yet her 3 year old has been fascinated by dump trucks before he could sit up, and her other one is on his second major broken bone at 6 years old.
We are born with certain personality traits. If a girl is a tom boy, it's just because she is, not because someone made her that way, and visa versa. If a little boy's favorite color is pink and is nurturing, it's just because that's the way he is. I am still dumbfounded that my dau liked 'girly' stuff that I could not STAND. Even today, our tastes are nothing alike, but she's (fortunately) not into pink anymore. You will do fine, and your daughter will feel very special having all those guys to dote on her!
K. Wildner
____@____.com
www.kimwildner.com

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T.T.

answers from La Crosse on

I UNDERSTAND YOUR CONCERN BUT JUST RAISE HER THE WAY YOU DID YOUR BOYS. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE WILL BE HER CLOTHES. SHE WILL BE WHAT EVER SHE LIKES WETHER ITS BARBIES OR TRUCKS. SHE MAY LIKE BOTH. THEY REALLY CHOOSE FOR THEMSELVES AROUND 3 I THINK OF WHAT THEY PREFER. I HAVE A 13 YR OLD TOMBOY, AND 11 YR OLD DRAMA QUEEN, THEY COULDNT BE MORE DIFFERENT.BUT RAISED THE SAME. HOWEVER MY DRAMA QUEEN PLAYS HARD WITH HER BROTHERS 7 AND 6 AND DOESNT CARE ABOUT GETTING DIRTY. BUT LOVES TO DRESS IN ALL THAT FRILLY STUFF ( WHICH I NEVER DID)SWEAT PANTS OR JEANS THATS WHAT I LIKE.HAVING A GIRL WILL BE WONDERFUL I PROMISE YOU AND DIFFERENT THEN A BOY, BEING I HAVE BOTH I HAVE TO SAY THE GIRLS ARE ALOT EASIER AND LAYED BACK, THE BOYS ARE FAR MORE ENERGETIC.I DO ALSO HAVE A 14 MONTH OLD GIRL AND WONDER WHICH WAY SHE'LL GO TOMBOY OR GIRLY GIRL. JUST KNOW THIS, IT WILL BE A WONDERFUL EXPIERIENCE.I AM SURE SHE'LL GROW UP TO BE WONDERFUL, WETHER SHE LIKES DOLLS OR TRUCKS, MAYBE BOTH.RELAX AND GO WITH THE FLOW. JUST LOVE HER THE WAY YOU DO YOUR BOYS AND IM SURE SHE'LL BE GREAT.

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A.L.

answers from Green Bay on

I am just like you, tomboy, three boys and we just had a girl. Our boys are 6,4,16months and our girl is 8days old. Our sons are very excited to have a girl around the house. (our second son is concerned she is missing some "parts and pieces" but otherwise very happy with his new sister). My husband and I were not too sure we wanted the pink and such around the house. We gave in and have accepted the beautiful gifts that people have given us. There will be no frilly head bands but I did get her a plain little dress for Christmas. She did wear "frog" socks home from the hospital and is wearing her brothers blue sack sleepers. We think she is pretty special and that she will fit in. She is already a pretty tough little one. I hope this helps!

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G.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

Well, first congratulations! Do not worry I felt exactly the same way. I was not very girly either and I love to watch sports with my husband. We have 3 sons and a daughter, sons age
:11,9,and 8 my daughter is 4. She is wonderful!I was afraid what to do with her.Haha! But the boys were great with her and when she started to talk they wanted to leave her alone. But she wouldn't let them she was rough with them actually she still is rough with them. It is so funny. She has this tomboyish side but at the same time she is a girl. I don't say girly because she isn't prissy. She loves to shop, we shop together all the time she loves to pick out her own clothes dresses dressy shoes. She plays with dolls and sometimes even talks her brothers into playing with her stuff. Ha,ha. Don't worry at all when she comes she will see what they do and fit right in. My daughter sometimes thinks she is in charge of the boys. she loves to boss them around. She's great! So will your daughter! Have fun!G.

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A.N.

answers from Chicago on

hi my name is A. and i found your story some what funny im sorry but i had to laugh because i thought of myself i grew up with three brothers and i too wound up having a girl. but i assure you it will come naturally to you. it did for me. my daughter is four and she is so girlie she loves to shop and pick out her own clothes. But she loves to play toy guns and rough house as well. you'll see it will be okay things will come naturally.

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K.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have a son, so my response is not from personal experience...but I'd say, just treat her the same as you did your boys and she'll be who she is...it could be a fun learning experience for both of you! If she is very "girly" when she's a bit older, you can enjoy experiencing some new things with her, and if she, too, is a tomboy, then you can take in a ball game together as a family... How exciting for you all! Congrats on the girl, and I'd say just roll with it and enjoy the new experiences she will bring to your family of boys!

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