JFF: Would You Let Your Son Wear Nail Polish?

Except for brassieres and jock straps, there are no "boy things" and "girl things." There are simply things and the kids who like them.
My stepson grew up playing with baby dolls - it didn't make him any less of a man when he grew up.
If he likes nail polish, let him paint his nails any color he wants.

My son is almost 5. He's wearing some right now.

He has had his own colors (that he picked out as gifts for xmas one year) for some time: red, orange and green. I bought blue for myself thinking he might like it, but he has only mentioned it once when he wanted different colors on each finger. His best friend (another 5 year old boy) usually wears dark colors on fingers and toes.

The color he has on now? Sparkly pink. Came home with it on from a play date. (Seems he dressed up as a princess there, too, so AtHomeDad, I guess yes, he can be out of the house in a dress!)

I don't ask him if he wants some, but when he makes the request, I say yes.

I would absolutely let a boy wear nail polish. Personally, I think we're overdue for a men's lib! A girl can wear a skirt or pants, rough-house or be gentle, watch a tear-jerker movie or an action flick - all without having her femininity questioned. A boy cannot make the same choices without a heavy dose of criticism and judgment. Very sad.

Wow, some people are so uptight. Do people REALLY think that letting a kid wear nail polish tells them "anything goes?" It's freaking nail polish, not a sex change, or permission to do whether makes you get your jollies.

Yes, I would let my son wear nail polish. And NO, he knows not "anything goes. My lord. I'm not following any trends. Unless, parenting is a trend.

I can't help but laugh pretty hard right now. My son has clear nail polish on, just a short step until bank robberies and homosexuality!!

I have zero problem with boys wearing nail polish. I think the gender rules that we impose are ridiculous.

Ditto Bug's response and a flower for your post and your attitude, JE! :)

Sure, why not. All this talk about gender confusion and it's just not appropriate sounds like people are worried where this sort of thing will lead.

I believe people are wired to become whoever they are sexually way before the age of four. Your little guy will likely grow up to be a hetero man who is secure in expressing himself and his emotions. Sounds like he is growing up in a home where he is free to be himself and will be accepted no matter what.

If by chance he grows up to be gay or a cross dresser it will have nothing to do with you letting him wear nail polish at four. To those who think it's wrong, exactly what are you worried about?

I have two boys. The older one, five, asks to have his nails painted sometimes, and I am happy to do it for him. He prefers peacock blue, but we have also done reds and purples.

He does it because he sees me doing it and thinks its cool. I don't want him to think that there is anything wrong with things that are considered feminine. He can choose the things that he likes, regardless of whether they are "girl things" or "boy things".

It drives me nuts that its ok for girls to prefer the masculine, but if a boy expresses his desire to have painted toenails or wear pink sparkly clothes we act like there is something wring with that.

There is a scientific correlation that relates anything that merges gender roles in a child's early years to problems with future relationships and gender confusion.
NOT! (got your attention, though, huh?)
What it shows it that you're a cool parent that doesn't have to conform to 'rules'.
My husband let my daughter paint HIS toenails once. He's not scarred for life. Well, maybe, but that's a different story :)

No. I would explain that some things are only for girls and some things are only for boys. It's not the same as your daughter playing with ninja turtles or your son playing with barbies. Where does the line get drawn?

I almost want to call it a trend these days of how some parents are making every little thing gender neutral and don't want to 'put their child in a box'. It's so silly.

No. Would let him wear a dress out of the house?

Yes, yes a thousand times yes if my son ever requests for his nails to be painted or to wear anything that is typically girly he will many times over be allowed by both myself and my husband. We are very pro our children expressing themselves in any way that appeases them.

Absolutely. My son is 15. If he wanted to wear nail polish even now, I'd have no problem.

No...we wouldn't encourage that. The only time our boys have blue toes or nails is when they have a team spirit event with the swim team during the summer. Everyone paints toes and nails in the team colors. We have 3 huge bins with dress up clothes and the kids have free reign to dress up and pretend play. We have pictures of them "cross dressing" and it is all in fun and pretend mode.

When I do "nail salon" days with our daughter our boys are more than welcome to do the scrubs,buffs and clipping but when it comes to the polish they can have clear...or no color. Having a manicure or pedicure is not girly...it is about good grooming.

This decision has nothing to do with how they would be perceived by others. All 3 of our kids are strong willed children and don't follow the crowd at school. But, we also don't follow the thought that all situations are gender neutral. I think that it is extremely important for children to identify strongly with their gender and have good relationships with strong,positive female as well as male role models. I don't want to take part in habits that might lead to gender confusion.

It is not just about a short phase of enjoying Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or an occasional manicure with pink sparkly polish. It is an overarching theme of anything goes...do it if it makes you happy. Boys and girls at a young age will do things because it is fun,pretty,silly or makes them feel good...but they are forming strong associations of connection with these things also.

Sooo...there is my take on it.

My 4 y/o just asked me to paint his toenails over the weekend, so I did. I was doing mine and he thought it would be fun. He picked silver glitter.

Keep doing what you are doing! You are awesome and your kids are lucky to have a mom who instills such wonderful values in them.

No, Just no.. get him Temp tattoos.... L.O.l.

4 year old boys don't associate nail polish with femininity. It's artistic, creative, self-expressive, fun, but not feminine. Not sure why you're asking this question, because you haven't mentioned that anyone has a problem with it -- you seem to be good with it, so what's the sticking point?

Yes I would and yes I have...

At about age 6 he grew out of wanting other kids to see his toenails painted, but he still liked it for a little longer.

And I also let him wear pretty much whatever he wanted to, which included a variety of dress up clothes.. some of which would be considered for girls and some that would be considered for boys. My kiddo has no question of his identity or is gender. He knows he's a boy. He loves "boy" things, but he's sweet and sensitive as much as he is rough and tumble.

I think your family motto is awesome. You're a good Mama~ (insert applause here)

Yep, I would. In fact I laughed like hell when my BIL threw a fit because his babysitter painted his sons toenails. He was the only boy in a daycare full of girls. One little girl asked for her nails to be painted, then another, then another...you see where I am going with this.

People can get over themselves. :)

I probably would not at 4. But when my youngest boy was still in diapers, I used to paint his toenails to rile up my husband so we could have a good laugh. We thought it was funny for awhile, but didn't keep it going. I don't see a need to NOT let your boy enjoy it on occasion, but the way you are describing it is kind of weird to me. Like he was beside himself with excitement. What will you do if he is beside himself with excitement over say, a new pretty dress? Will you let him wear it since he is his own person? I'm not trying to be mean, but sometimes you have to steer your child in a different direction, no matter what your family motto is.

Yes, I would. I would make him wait til he was about 3, because I made my DD wait that long. I think painting his toes blue is perfectly acceptable. When he doesn't like people's reactions or he gets bored with it, he'll be on to something else. My DD carries a blue dinosaur lunchbox and has enough figures for Jurassic Park. I'm all for individuality as long as it's not harmful.

My son will be 5 in a few weeks. I came home from having a pedicure when he was about 3.5 and he saw my red toes and said, "Ooh, I want bright pink toes too!" I told him pink toes were pretty much a girl thing to which he sighed and said, "Maaaaannn!"
So like you, I got some light pink polish and painted his fingers and toes along with his little sisters too. I don't have a problem with it either. He is tender-hearted and plays well with his sister, but likes playing sports or more "boyish" activities with the neighbor boys and boys from his class. I love that one of his best friends from preschool last year is a girl and we still get together with her for playdates quite often.
My daughter loves playing with trucks, animals and digging in the dirt for worms as much as the next guy. She will tell me she played dress up with some of the girls in her class one day and the next day she played trains with the boys.
One afternoon while my daughter was napping, my son was playing with one of her dolls and said, "This little girl's momma is in heaven, so I'm gonna take care of her. I love it and wouldn't change this behavior in either one of them. I feel like it shows my daughter that she can play tough with the boys and my son is allowed to show his softer side too. I think this makes kids grow into more accepting, confident adults.
As far as the nail polish goes, I figure it will be an interest that will wear off in time, but for now I am not going to worry about it either.
HTH,
A.

Sure. My son (also 4) loves to play with my makeup and will put on some blush or loose powder if I am getting ready for work in the morning. He also walks around in my shoes and thinks it's hilarious to put on a bra...actually it IS hilarious.

If he asked I would put nail polish on him.

Absolutely! My Mother even did this for my brother, either the natural colours, or clear. When he hit that Punk double digit stage, she even defended his decision to wear it to school.

I've painted my son's clear, and he's had his toes purple, green and red. Even had the little Pirate skull and crossbones decals. He hasn't asked in a while(he's currently going through his "Sherlock Holmes solves another mystery" phase, starring me as Watson).

I let my son grow his hair out, and cut it when he wants to. I have done so since he was four. He's even had it grown out and done up for a Renaissance Faire Wedding. Currently, it's short.
Self-expression and decision making are formed when they are young. If you doubt, so will they.

Be bold, be strong, love yourself as much as you love your kids, play everyday like you're in Neverland. I for one, will never grow up! Not while my son needs a Watson(or a Pirate captain's First Mate).

Hugs to you Mama!

I really don't see a problem with it. I was such a tomboy when I was very young that I played with GI Joe, Army Men etc. I also liked girly things as well. Your child is who he or she is no matter what in my opinion. My son, now eleven, used to like to play with girly stuff at playdates and watch girly shows like Dora along with very boy toys and shows. Now he hates anything to do with playing girly stuff. He is definitely all boy! He is who he is. Just accept him for who he is and I would not worry about anyone elses opinion. My son never wanted nail polish, but he did like to play with pretty much everything or anything because it was just fun!. I think it's normal at that young age. You sound like an awesome Mama! :)

Yes. My son is allowed to wear nail polish over the summer and christmas/spring break. His school has a blanket policy in the dress code that states that "nothing that might distract from learning" may be worn (including unnatural hair color and makeup on girls in the lower grades) or I would just allow it anytime. I did explain before putting it on the first time that he might be teased and how he might handle it. I think he should have the opportunity to decide where his comfort level with such things is and I also think there are bigger things to worry about than that.

You sound like a great mom! And yes, sure. My son has never expressed an interest in nail polish, but he did ask for a pink scooter and a pink booster seat. Both of which I bought.

My own motto, on questions of the sort, is "Will it hurt anyone?" That's an important part of morality, for me -- thinking through the long-term consequences of one's actions. On questions like nail polish for boys, I think it's important to teach kids to have confidence in their own opinions and to think for themselves, and to respect others who are different in any way.

Have and do.

He tends to prefer "boy colors", though!!!

- Blue
- Black
- clear/buff

Although for Halloween he his orange and black stripes on his toenails one year, and black/purple with silver spiders another year.

Since MY first pedicures were with the Force Recon guys (Marine Corps special forces)... I tend to think of pedicures as a unisex activity. Although up here, far from military bases, it tends to be female-only, my son has the same attitude the force recon guys did "Hello! Foot massage & pampering??? On it."

He's 10, now. I can't remember when it started. Years ago.

yes, I would let my son wear it. Actually when he was 2 I think, he found my daughters green nail polish and he asked me to paint his toes. So, I did, lol!

Yeah, I sure would! My boys are 6 and 4. I would probably buy him a color like green, orange, blue, yellow, gray or black though.

(ps, one of the manliest/hottest guys I ever dated wore nail polish!!)

I would not. But only because I would not let a 4 year old girl wear nail polish. Actually, I would be slightly more likely to let the boy - because it does not conform to gender stereotypes. If you let your daughter at that age, then absolutely your son should be able to. Um - it's kind of silly that anyone like teenage mutant Ninja turtles - no?

My son has probably only seen me wear nail polish two or three times, so I think it just is not on his radar. I do not think wearing nail polish will tell kids any thing goes. Nor do I think there are things that are just 'girl' things or just boy things (beyond the anatomically obvious like tampons and jock straps). Silly :)

Yes, I would. My son at that age loved dressing up in princess outfits with his best friend (a girl) and loved it when his Aunt Sara painted his nails (I don't own nail polish). It made him very happy. He did this till about age 5. He is 8 now and would die if I told him he used to do these things! He's very much into legos, swords, battles, and bmx bike riding now!

My son is 5 1/2 and currently has blue toenails. We don't do it all the time, but we don't discourage it. My 36 year old brother has blue toenails all the time, seriously. When he was single the girls LOVED it. Of course, he is the reason my son likes for his to be done.

When my son was three he wanted nail polish just because he saw me with it.
I didn't want him to be picked on.
So I painted his toes with glow in the dark polish (from Halloween).
In daylight - you could not tell there was any polish there at all.
At night we had tons of fun shining a bright light on his toes and watching them glow!
His fascination with it passed pretty quickly (within a few weeks).

We're a very alternative family. I'm an ex-punk-ish fashion designer turned painter, my husband is a musician. My fashion isn't as crazy as it used to be, but my husband wears nail polish sometimes (black, chrome or blue) and has tattoos on his entire body. I lived in NYC for 12 years (and LA for 6 before that) before moving to a more rural location. My best friend of 20 years is gay, and my gay friends are countless. I am 100% fine with ANY of my kids being gay. So I don't want you to think this is coming from a mega-conservative or something.

No. My son is only 4, so he doesn't know the social implications of his fashion choices. Therefore anything I let him do: It's me doing it. When we lived in NYC there were plenty of hipster parents dressing their little boys in ponytails (Hello Kitty even), dresses, nail polish, etc. Did I think they were making an equal rights statement? No. (and maybe they were). I thought they were hipsters being trendy and dressing their kids in ways the kids didn't understand. Am I OK with tomboy girls in pants and short hair? Of course. It's a valid feminine option. I'm OK with older boys in feminine attire too if it's their OWN MATURE CHOICE.

Now we live in a blue collar area with lots of farmers etc, my son dresses like a boy. He can dress however he wants when he gets older and cares to choose. Does he wear his sister's fairy dresses at home? Of course. He would also never harass a little boy in nail polish. I would just tell him that the boy's mommy put it on him.

Do I think what you're doing is harmful? Absolutely not. Of course not. My husband actually painted my son's nails once. I said I didn't like it (to my husband out of ear shot of my son), but I didn't take it off or anything. My son never expressed interest in it though, my husband just did it.

I paint my little boys toes (and sometimes fingers) all the time. I did this with my oldest too, and at 10 he seems perfectly well adjusted. I do have a daughter so it is usually when she is getting her nails painted. We have yellow, blue, and green nail polish he uses.

Yes I would and have. Also....non toxic Piggie Paint has glow in the dark polish. So much fun and isn't very noticeable on the nails.

My son's first request for nail polish was around 3yo, while watching his 14yo cousin paint her toenails. He asked if he could paint his and she patiently showed him how to do that. He's now 4-1/2 and has asked maybe 3-4 times since then to paint his nails, or a few nails, or his dad's nails. I bought some dark blues and blacks. I liked that it taught him a skill, lol.

My son came home from the babysitter's at about that age with nail polish on his pinkies only. My husband freaked. That was a long time ago. I think my husband would roll with it now. I'm thinking it's not a hill to die on. Some things matter. Nail polish doesn't.

Yes my son has! More so since he has a little sister now.

The girls at the daycare painted both my boys nails when there were little and I went threw the roof. My husband looked and me and said who cares!!!!

I did a couple of times. He grew out of it quickly. I did his toes. Hubby wasn't thrilled but Never said anything infront of our son.

I have. It was clear nail polish but I don't see anything wrong with boys wearing stuff like that.

I did until my husband threw a hissy fit.

You sound like such a great mom! I love that you remind them that they are their own person & should not be concerned about making different choices.

My 5 year old boy sometimes asks for nail polish when his older sister gets it. I just try to remember to take it off before he goes to his dad's place (his dad is less evolved on gender issues. Actually, many issues)

Re: the mom that said "I think they (her sons) would rather cut off a limb than wear a princess dress." -- I don't like that boys learn early that it's bad to do girly things, that in essence teaches them that girls are inferior.

I agree with the mom that says that's it's time for "men's lib" Women have broadened their choices in education, career, athletics, combining work & family etc, but men's choices are still about the same. It's still uncommon for men to be a stay at home dad (although that may be partly due to wage inequality, with women making 72 cents on the dollar, they cannot support the family without the father also working outside the home).

Anyway, I know my kids are going to be who they're going to be. Putting artificial restrictions on them can only hurt.

My boys have never worn nail polish, but they have never shown interest in wearing nail polish either. I always have my toenails painted. I have bought my husband a couple of manicure/pedicure spa packages for men, but they have never included nail polish. I'm not too sure what I would have said had they (my boys) asked me to paint their nails, but I probably would have said that it was for girls. If they still asked and it seemed important to them I may have had a change of heart. I see a fair number of little boys come to my room at work with fingernails and toenails painted. They are usually who have big sisters. It's kind of cute. No big deal.

I would let him paint his nails but then if he was going somewhere then take it off. Like my son does karate and painted toe nails on a boy would not be appropriate. To be honest with you, I would not let my daughter paint her finger nails either as I do not wear nail polish. Most of it chips and end up injested. That stuff is pretty toxic. I also don't think doing or wearing girly things is wrong or "makes him gay" (omg, how stupid), but rather, certain things are meant for home and fun. It is just like if my son wanted to wear a princess costume for Halloween. Why would I deliberatley send my son into the world knowing he will get made fun of. He can make those choices himself when he's an adult.

I have girls, but my cousin's son is the same age as my oldest daughter and they've played together ever since they were babies. When they were that age, he loved having his toenails painted - hot pink, blue, whatever. Now he's 10 years old, and as all-boy as you can imagine (oh, the burping and farting... god help us all...). Enjoy this phase while it lasts. :)