First Mc

Hi H.,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have had 5 miscarriages and definitely understand how difficult losing a baby is. It helped me to name each baby and to read in the Bible the verses that talk about God forming the unborn. As you may know, in the Book of Job, Job is very depressed and says that he wishes that he had just been miscarried; then he would not be suffering but he would be raised in the resurrection to be with God. It has been very comforting for me to know that God cares about all of my children, born or unborn.

You probably already know this, but it might be beneficial to you to really be consistent in taking some supplements in your diet right now, especially multi B vitamins, vit. E and selenium as well as making sure you are taking a good prenatal vitamin and eating a healthy diet.

God Bless,
A.

H.,

So sorry to hear about your loss, I miscarried my first child. It was hard I was 35-36. Shortly after though I was pregnant again with my now 8 year old son who is a great blessing. I think now that had I not miscarried I wouldn't have the son that I have. Just know that something had to be wrong with the baby for it to happen and that God has greater plans for the baby and for you. I now have 3 children 8, 6 & 4 and had my last one at age 40. They are all healthy and I couldn't live without them. What precious gifts from God. I hope you find some peace soon especially at this time of year. God Bless You---J. C

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have had two miscarriages so I can understand. The first was an early m/c at 6 weeks, the next at 9 weeks and we had seen the baby on ultrasound. The only advice I can give you is that you may feel sad now, but in time you will heal and you will have another child. Miscarriage is very common and you really can't find a woman who has had children that hasn't experienced at least 1. It is not your fault, it was nothing you did. The baby probably wasn't developing as it should have. After my 9 week miscarriage I had one period and conceived that same cycle with my son. I wouldn't trade him for the world. Had I not had that miscarriage, I wouldn't have him. I wish you peace and I hope you can get pregnant again quickly. Best wishes.

I never lost a baby but my mother did at about the same age you are. She just recently tried to get records to see if it was a boy or girl, too much time has passed and the records aren't there. That's how much it is still part of her. She was told back then that miscarriage is often God's way of ending a pregnancy with problems if the child had lived. Still not too comforting. I'm sorry for your loss, you will not 'get over it' but move on in time and I think you should be able to talk about this baby and how you feel if you want to because you did lose a precious baby. I had my last baby at age 38 and I have a friend who was 42 so you do still have time if you want to have a child that much later and can get pregnant. I would talk with your doctor about how long to wait before you try again but I would think in a few months.

I am almost 40 weeks pregnant with my 5th child and had 3 early miscarriages in between. Was only a month to 6 weeks along when I lost those pregnancies. I'll be honest. I was disappointed but I didn't dwell on it because as research shows, most early MC's happen because there is some kind of chromosome defect or birth defect in the embryo. I would rather have that happen than to have it happen later on in the pregnancy or to give birth to a severely deformed baby who will most likely suffer or even die shortly after birth. My sister-in-law suffered 5 miscarriages late into her second trimester for these reasons and had one birth of a little girl who only lived for 7 months and was only 6 pounds when she did die due to birth defects. It was horrible. I believe that God has a plan and if you carry to term with a healthy baby then you are lucky and blessed. Right before my current pregnancy, I had my last MC and as soon as I stopped bleeding, we tried again and got pregnant right away and so far all is great. Just don't linger on it too much and try again when you feel the time is right. I wish you all the best and I believe you'll have a new baby in the coming year. Best wishes.

Don't worry about it hon. It's not likely to repeat itself 2 times in a row. I've had 3 miscarriages and never 2 in a row. Just take care of yourself. It sucks and I've had the same thing happen. The last time my baby was 13 weeks a long and I saw the most perfect little baby and he/she just looked like he/she was asleep. The heartbeat was gone. I've been told that the most common cause of a miscarriage is that the babies heart is not forming right. I'd rather meet my babies in heaven then see them fight for their lives with a heart defect here. My niece is about to give birth to a little boy that will need a heart transplant. She loves her unborn son and I don't blame her. I would make the same choice she has. But I sure wish nature would have worked earlier in the pregnancy. This boy will endure 3 surgeries by the time he's 5-6 and of course, that's if he lives through the first couple. He'll need a transplant if he is to live past his late teens or early 20's.

I've heard that you are very fertile in the first month or two after a miscarriage. Doctors say wait and give the body time to heal. But I suspect that's more their way of telling you to mentally heal first.

Suzi

cry, mourn,. feel whatever you need to feel. It's like any other loss, it only gets easier with time. It doesn't matter if you are days pregnant, weeks, or months, the loss is still tramatic.

I miscarried and was devistated as well, it was my first pregnancy. My advice is to grieve the loss of your child and then decide if you want to try again later. You still have plenty of time.

Good Morning H., I am so very sorry for your loss. I know it was heart breaking after such a wonderful surprise.

Have Faith H., the Father is holding your precious child in his almighty arms. You will know your child in Heaven.
I lost two gr children not through miscarriage but abortion.
Believing & trusting they are in His Arms waiting for us is the only thing that has kept my thoughts of betrayal, feelings of loss, the pain of not seeing these two children grow to adulthood. Believeing keeps me from being driven nutz'o sometimes. I know where they are and they are fine With the Father how formed them. They would of been 15 & 14 now.

Let your Body heal, let your emotions heal. Enjoy your family, Let God cover you with His Love.

God Bless you H.
K. Nana of 5

H.,
I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby. I lost my baby at 11 weeks and "devastated" is exactly the word I would use for my experience too. And since then (7 years ago) I've worked to help others suffering this same pain. I wrote a small book and use a pillow as a way to give an empty-armed mom something tangible as a source of comfort and a way to remember. I have the information available on my website www.heavenborn.com. I hope you find it helpful and feel free to email me anytime you would like to talk. And on a happy note, I have a wonderful 6 year old son that wouldn't be with us if I hadn't lost my baby. Hard to understand, but I do believe everything happens for a reason. I will keep you in my prayers....
M. Day
Heaven Born Founder
Comforting Moms, Honoring Babies
www.heavenborn.com

my heart goes out to you. I have both miscarried & have lost a beautiful daughter during heart surgery. With these losses, sometimes the grief is like a punch to the chest. & You are devastated because you love. It's as simple as that.

The important thing to remember is to continue to embrace the gifts you have...to grieve for your loss without losing sight of your other gifts. And gifts they are! Let this be a happy holiday...find serenity. It's hard...but can be done.

My beloved Father passed away just two months ago. My MIL passed away earlier this year. Each side of our family has chosen very divergent ways to deal with these losses. My inlaws have chosen to skip the holidays this year. My family has chosen to continue with our traditions. My husband & I truly believe that my family is approaching the holiday season from a healing standpoint. We are embracing our loss, remembering & honoring Dad's memory, & are dedicated to joyously providing for the remaining family. We have had tears, sobs, & heartache....but have carried on & feel stronger for doing so. ......by contrast, my inlaws are not doing as well emotionally. My heart goes out to them, I hate losing our time together- but my husband & I are taking the time to embrace the memory of his mother & that's the best we can do. We sincerely wish his family could do the same.

As for conceiving again, allow yourself time to heal- both physically & emotionally. Make this next baby, a baby you desire...not a replacement. Allow this next baby to have his own entity. I wish you Peace.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I miscarried our first baby. We lost it on December 11, 2005. My husband and I just laid on our bed and cried for a few days straight. We got pregnant again in February 2006, and our baby was born healthy and strong.

I have read some of the other posts. No matter the reason for the miscarriage, for me and my husband, the grief is still there. I still think of my child that is no more. But it does get better with time.

Some people say to wait until you are over the grief. That may or may not happen; it didn't with us. We also were told that we should wait a certain number of normal periods before trying again. But we didn't. We just did what felt natural, and now we have two beautiful little boys.

May God be with you and your family.

I'm so sorry for your loss, I had 3 since 9/08. My word of advice, wait the amount of time the doctor tells you, usually the rule is after you stop bleeding you have to have 2 periods and then you can start trying again. If you don't wait, you're more likely to have another mc. Your body needs to recover and so do you emotionally. All pregnancy are different, so a change of symptoms may mean nothing. Lots of people have mc and then have no problem. We both had children without a problem and then had them. A good friend of mine who's children are in college now told me something, that I still think about. She had several mc and 2 beautiful boys. She says not that I wasn't sad I didn't have them, but if I had them I wouldn't have cam and dom (he 2 boys). They would be wonderful in their own right, but they wouldn't be the ones she had and this is how her family must have been meant to be. Rest, relax and be grateful for the ones you have and pray for the health of the next one. Merry Christmas

My idea would be & I would have thought the Dr would have told you, but with having one that is only 2 months old that it was just too soon to be pregnant again, unless he/she had some other physcal explanation. It can take up to 3 months or longer for your uterus to get back to normal, which if it's not would be a cause for a miscarriage. Yes, I know miscarriages just happen sometimes, I experienced one & it was devastating & it's something people don't understand so they don't want to talk about it. The Drs had told me to wait a min. of 3 months before trying again. The best / most uplifting advice I have is to wait at least the 3 months before trying again, but if you want to be safe wait 6 months & give your body a full chance to recover from both pregnancies, it's been through a lot! I'm sure things will go well for you in the future, just try to stay positive as hard as it can be.