Feeling blue.....no More Kids

Updated on November 28, 2011
V.S. asks from Lima, OH
10 answers

I had preeclampsia with my last two pregnancies and my husband, myself and my doctor feel that we need to be done having kids. My last pregnancy was horrible. I was on bed rest for about 7-8 weeks. Then off another 7 after delivery. My blood pressure was high the whole pregnancy but it was also an unexpected pregnancy too.

I am not depressed. I'm just sad that at the age of 26 my baby making days are over. I wish I had the money, time and patience.to go back to school for nursing but with three kids under the age or four is not helping me. Has anybody felt saddened that they were done having kids?

Thanks.

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

Yes, I think most of us are sad about that...at least a little. It's a milestone of sorts. But at least you were blessed with 3!! :)

6 moms found this helpful

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

I understand where you are coming from. but..

Look into going back to school. There is a ton of financial aid available and most schools have a daycare. It will be hectic but possible. There are counselors on campus many who finished school after they had children who can advise you.

Good luck>>> Now is the time to look forward to grandchildren. I always say that grandchildren are natures reward for not killing your kids when they were little.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I think it comes with the passing of any stage in life. We have three kids under three in my house, and we knew we were done. So, I had my tubes tied, but there is a part of me that is sad to know we are done having kids. We definitely don't want anymore, and I truly feel my family is complete, but that stage of our life is done.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Short of financial difficulties, why would you go back to school to deal with not being able to have more children? I'd be using that time to enjoy the kids I already have! They're going to be grown faster than a blink of an eye and going to school and back to work will certainly eat alot of that time to enjoy those precious moments.

If being with the kids gets difficult and you need a break, consider finding a mom's group that swaps daycare time or find a family with a nice, responsible teen daughter to hire as a helper on days when you need a breather.

The holiday season is upon us and it is a time of wonder and fun for young children. Have fun making paper chains and snow people and snow angels in the yard. Be a kid again and just play and have fun.

Already, my oldest kids are almost done with these precious innocent years. I'm more sad about this than the realization I shouldn't have more kids for health reasons. Changes come faster than you know. You'll be sad you wasted them with worry or what ifs. Live each day one moment at a time and savor it...and being with them.

3 moms found this helpful
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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

I am! I have a 27 day old beautiful baby girl and It's bittersweet because I'm enjoying her so much and at the same time so sad because 1) she won't be this little for much longer 2) we are done having children(we have 3 too).

I also had a bad pregnancy with her; I was on bed rest since week 35 and the recovery from my c-section was tougher this second time around (my first was a vaginal delivery).

I'm 35, which is not old but pregnancy just gets tougher on your body as you age, unless you're super fit, I wasn't.

I just can't believe I won't feel little kicks ever again, wow just writing that made me sad :o( I am not depressed either but just feeling sad about being done. I didn't get my tubes tied but we know we are done, economically and physically we are just exhausted. We adore the three little ones we have and we are just going to enjoy them to the max, I always think they're so lucky we love them and wanted them so much in this world with us.

by the way 26 is very young so I can see where you're coming from being so young and being done. It's OK to feel sad, not every time we get sad we are depressed.

Hope you feel better soon :o)

3 moms found this helpful
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J.P.

answers from Pensacola on

I'm 26 and I only have 1 kid. She is almost a yr. I'm planning on going back to school this spring. I'm living with my mom; so I have free daycare. If I didn't have any daycare I would probably take classes online. There are so many classes online now through many universities and community colleges. You might not be able to get a nursing degree right away, but maybe there is another degree you could get that doesn't involve leaving the house to go to classes.
I'm not sure if I want to have anymore children. Sometimes I think it's great that my dd can have all my love and attention. I would say be happy with what you have. There are so many women who can't even have 1 baby.

3 moms found this helpful

U.5.

answers from Wichita on

Yes & no. I am 25 and have had one child. I sometimes think about it in a sad way just because I know I won't ever experience it again. On the flip side, my Husband has four children from a previous marriage. They all live with us so I am a full time Mom of 5. Additionally, I have a profound worry for my personal responsibilities. If something were to ever go wrong between myself and my Husband, having only one child to care for proves beneficial. I am content, even when I see all of the babies my friends are having. If you qualify you could join the Air Guard and get your education squared away practically free. You could also find yourself in a choice carrier spot just by joining. Either way, good luck and keep your chin up. There is always adoption if need be.

1 mom found this helpful

L._.

answers from San Diego on

Well I was very sad off and on twice when I thought I was done, but I wasn't. I'm 45 now and really want another baby. The great news is, grandchildren are just as wonderful as our own kids. I know you have a long time to wait. But it will go faster than you can even imagine. You could do some daycare for infants to fill the gap.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.D.

answers from Detroit on

YES! We tried for three years and a whole lot of help from professionals to have kids only to have two at one time. It was intense from trying to after 3 years of age. And that's it. No more. For several reasons, we decided to be done. I'm starting to slowly work independently, but it's bittersweet. Even though I was grateful, I hated so much of the time home with them until this summer because I had an undiagnosed disease causing me extreme fatigue (now under better control) it was HARD, no help and my husband sometimes gone for weeks at a time and I was isolated. So much time gone, but I did the best I could and am slowly going back to work - starting my own independent business which takes time and gives me fulfillment. They are now more fun and life is better. I don't know the right words to say except that there are others feeling this way and I suspect the feelings subside in time.

ETA: for clarity

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Yes. I have had three...I got a twinge of jealousy and sadness knowing that friends of my DH are working on #4 right now..she's a year older than I. What the heck? Don't understand these strong feelings I am having..I wish them well but do I really want more kids or am I just more in the mindset for the attention and the experience. I coould have a 4th but pushing 40 and have had C-sections not by choice. I think you and I need to focus on the blessings we do have and go from there. I look back and really don't like what pregnancy did to my body. Just knowing I could have one more is good enough for me...I am really in a good place now knowing my last is in diapers. I am ready to be done with the baby stage. I think you will get to that point once your kids get older. While babies are such a beautiful miracle they are so much work. Worth it but we both have older children we can't forget about.

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