Fat Mom

Have you considered a gym membership? That would be an air conditioned environment where you could start off on the treadmill. They also have low impact stuff like yoga classes if you don't feel up to aerobisizing. All you would need is a buddy to go with to keep you company. I am also overweight for my age. I recently joined a gym. Even though I feel somewhat out of place among the jocks, I don't let that bother me. I do plan for times when it is less crowded though. I bring my 14 yr old son who is pudgy and needs the excercise as well, to keep me company. I haven't tried the yoga classes yet, but want to get into that next. You'd be more than welcome if you chose to join us when we go. We haven't been all summer (since I can't take the girls), but school has started back up and we're ready to get back into it.

The most important thing is water water water. Cut out sodas, juice and sugary drinks and drink water. If you don't like plain water there are sugarfree flavors you can add to it. Eat lots of fresh fruit and veggies, and learn portion control and proper portion size. Weight watchers is a good way to learn that stuff, but there are other ways online where you can learn proper portions of foods.

Weight watchers is also great for motivation, but you have to make the decision to make a lifestyle change and stick to it. You sound depressed, counseling or an antidepressant (make sure you get one that does not cause weight gain) might help.

I gained over 80 pounds with my twins in 2004. I had never been overweight until then. I have only lost 30 towards my goal and have 50 more to lose to reach my goal, but let me say you have to be dedicated, I lost 50 pounds and gained 20 back. I went to Curves. That is where I lost the initial 50 pounds and when I stopped going I gained some of the weight back.

I had to stop exercising because of a health issue and hopefully can start back in a few weeks after I recover from surgery I had last week to correct the problem.

Another option which should not be the first choice for you if you have not tried the dieting and exercise is having bariatric surgery. Since you are over 100 pounds overweight it is an option for you to consider, but as with all surgery you should weigh the risks and decide what is better for you.

You should always start with diet and exercise. If money is not a problem, I have had friends who were successful with Jenny Craig and LA Weightloss. These were too expensive for me to try so I went with Weight Watchers.

You are not alone. Remember that.

First of all A., the biggest amount of dead weight you need to lose, is that husband who disrespects you...but that's another story...
As for your actual weight and weight issues, let me tell you something...until you realize that your WEIGHT does not define YOU, you'll never be happy. You have to realize that you aren't a "fat mom" or a "fat wife". You're a beautiful woman, period. You are a PERSON first, a woman second, a mother third and "fat" is just an ugly word to me. "Unhealthy" would be a truer statement. It's not about what you "look" like, it's about what's going on inside of your body.
Learn to respect yourself first and then you will WANT to take care of yourself. You DESERVE exercise and healthy eating.
The best book I have read so far is "Clean Eating" by Tosca.
GO GET THIS BOOK! You will love it!
Tosca used to weigh well over 200 pounds and you should see her now.
I was 265 pounds after I had my second baby. (he's now 3) I joined a gym and found it to be like therapy to me. I was able to get away for an hour and just treat myself to an aerobics class or weight training session...sometimes I'd just take a day off and swim for exercise, then sit in the steam room...it really refreshed me. Within 4 months, I lost 70 pounds.
I began teaching aerobics! :-) I'm still overweight, but I continue to teach and now do personal training as well.
The point is, YOU can do what YOU want to do with your body.
Don't listen to your "husband." He's an abuser with words. You'd do best to get away from him ASAP, but like I said, that's not my business. If you can't get away from him, then do the next best thing...remember that you're better than that and treat YOURSELF kindly, ignoring that jerk.
If you can't get to a gym, a simple walk down the street and back is a start!
The main thing is to work on the exercise first, the eating second. You will be amazed at how great you will feel and how your body will change.Do it for your children, A....they deserve to have their mama around for a LONG time. Don't leave them alone with your husband to raise them. :-( Take care of YOU and do this for yourself and for your babies.
If your husband doesn't want a "big" woman, tell him they don't want him either, then hand him a suitcase.
Good luck darlin...whatever you do, take care of YOU.
Oh and one more thing that helped me...Richard Simmons.com.
His videos are WONDERFUL!!! Take them 10 min. at a time, working your way up to doing the whole tape. It's amazing how great you will feel and how strong you will become, not only physically, but emotionally.
Take care!!!

A.,

I didn't read all the other responses. I know it can feel overwhelming. I used to go to Curves, and it is great for someone who is just starting exercising. I have also started Weight Watchers. If there isn't one in your area, you can do it online. Their website is www.weightwatchers.com I have realized that I was eating way too much. I have started watching my portions, and eating healthier. Good luck to you.

Sometimes all you need is a good girlfriend to talk to and figure things out. Feel free to contact me on here or at ____@____.com if you want vent.

Hello A.,
I am very sorry to hear about how you are feeling right now, however, I work for a company called Herbalife. Have you ever heard of it? It is a company that has been around since 1980 and helps people to lose weight, gain weight, improve overall health, increase energy, or improve health problems that people are having, all in a dr. approved, all natural way! I am on the products and absolutely love them. I would love to help you in your goal to lose the weight, so that you can improve your health, look great, and feel terrific. Please contact me for more information.

I'm glad to see that there was only breif mention of gastric bypass. I have known several people who have done this and it is NOT the way to go. Its terrible for your health and ages you terribly with all the loose skin. Besides, its not a cure all and end all. You'll gain a lot of it back if you don't change your lifestyle-the stomach is very elastic and will eventually get bigger.

I, myself, am overweight. I too had children 13 months apart and gained a terrible amount. I was in perfect shape before hand and took that feeling for granted. I'm very strict on what my kids eat and exercise. Now I'm trying to lose my excess. I've got about 80 lbs to drop. So I'm with you on how hard it is. I go a doctor who checks me and gives me very mild appetite suppressants. Its expensive and he's crazy, but I think that's what helps. I know if I'm spending that kind of money I'll stick to it.
Also I keep an eating journal. If your honest on it, its much easier to keep track of your eating and know what to change. You also think before you eat that extra this or that when you start to write it down.

Again he told me to: take a multivitamin with at least 50% of the Vitamin A as beta carotine, take 2.5 Viactive calcium chew (calcium is critical for weight lose and that is one of the best), and cut out salt and sodas (even diet)completely. They can deplete the cells of moisture and make you feel hungry. Lots and lots of water is key as mentioned. And ALWAYS eat breakfast within the first half hour of waking. He suggest a bag of peanuts if you're one of those people who usually doesn't.

About the hubby: He shouldn't make you feel bad, but on the other hand, you are fighting. I know when me and mine fight we say things because we are mad. Its probably hard for him too. While he should ease up especially if you are trying, his anger and frustration is justified. But you should talk to him about trying to support you without being patronizing or mean if you are trying.

Sorry for the length. I go back to the dr in two weeks. If you'd like I'll let you know what else he tells me. Good luck!

I share your pain, A.. I've struggled with my weight all my life, and my husband (who is no longer lean himself) has been known to make some pretty nasty comments about my weight, too.

There is a lot of advice here, so I won't reiterate all of it. I would just like to say about walking: if there is a mall near you, walk there. Many malls open their concourses early just for people who walk. Ignore the stares! You may even make some friends. Don't walk for your husband, or your kids. Walk for you. As you walk know that you are strong and brave, and you're doing the best thing for you. And taking care of you is also what is best for your kids.

Good luck.

Hey A.,
I have once felt the same way. I wasn't comfortable with myself and was very self concious about doing things out in public. My highest weight was around 260 and I didn't have any children, I just loved food. I joined Weight Watchers it was the best thing I ever did for myself now after 5 years and getting ready to have my 3rd child I'm back of to that weight. I had lost 86lbs before getting pregnant with my first daughter. After I have my little man, I'm joining Weight Watchers again. The support you will get from others in the group is wonderful and it also helps if you have family and friends supporting you or a buddy to do it with you. Keeps you on track. After we had lost our 10% we started going out for what we called Fat Tuesday's after we weighed in and ate whatever we wanted and got back on track the next day. The weight still came off and we also incorparted exercise I did it gradually. Please write to me if I can be of any more support to you. Don't lose the faith you can do it girl.

You can't stay with a man that does not respect you. He should never call you anything outside of your name...or of course a cute nickname. If there is no love there and the two of you are not happy together anymore...my suggestion is to go your separate ways. If the two of you are not happy, the kids are going to see that and it will effect them. As far as losing weight...there is a great website I am part of called sparkpeople.com....it is 100% free and it helps with weight loss. It calculates your food and how much you should be exercising, there are articles you can read about all sorts of things...theres a health section for all sorts of health related issues...discussion boards, etc...its great! Eating right and exercising is the only way to lose weight healthy...unless you have surger of course, but thats such a drastic measure...if you don't like to go outdoors to walk or anything, maybe you can buy some workout dvds to use at home when nobody is around. Or I heard that Curves is a wonderful place to go...Ive never been there but Ive never heard anything bad said about the place. Ive talked to a lady there and she was very helpful and nice.

I wish the best to you. I hope things get better.

L..

Wow A.. I am sorry about your pain, but I personally think there is also a self esteem issue. No on under any circumstances (especially your husband) should degrade you. I think you should seek counseling, but in terms of losing weight, the key thing about losing weight is diet and exercise. There are plenty of indoor excercises you can do. Dieting is not just about eliminating foods from your intake altogher, but it is about portion control. If you eat a lot of fried foods, that is a big no no. Try to limit it to once a week, drink LOTS of water, if you must have a soda, try diet, but maybe once a day. Juices and sodas have tons of empty calories. I was overweight also, and I gradually lost the weight until I am at 143 lbs now. Walking is probably the best and easist exercise in the world. I started out walking an hour a day (in 30 minute increments), and I didn't eat after 8. My caloric intake was 1800 calories a day. There are tons of websites that offer great food choices that are healthy. Use butter spray instead of butter, eat lots of whole grains, and try to grill, bake, or broil meats instead of frying. You may want to also talk with your doctor about a weight loss program that's right for you. I know a lot of people who lost tons of weight on Weight Watchers. I know a doctor who has a great weight lost program (Dr. Nova Law in Brookwood hospital). She sets you up with an exercise program as well as give you the correct FDA approved medicine to help with weight loss. I would have used her program but I had other medical issues that prevented me from taking the medicines she offered). Please consider these options because being overweight can lead to other medical problems (high blood pressure, diabetes, etc). I had high blood pressure when I was overweight. Once I lost the weight, I haven't had a problem with HBP since. Once you get used to walking, it becomes a lot of fun. E-mail me if you have any questions or if I can help you any further.

Okay, I weigh 235 pounds. 6 months ago I weighed 260. That may not seem like much. But it is to me. I just started reading lables. Making myself consicous of the calories. I didn't change me eating habits right away. After a while I quit drinking sugar. I drink water with those flavor packets in it. I also eat a spoonful of peanut butter. The peanut butter stays with me longer than anything else. I don't get hungry as fast. I can't take diet pills. I have high blood pressure.

As for your husband, he should never say things like that. Even in a fit of anger. I wouldn't put up with it. The next time he says that tell him to try carrying and pushing out a human being and see if he comes away with no lasting effects. There is nothing wrong with being a big woman. Someone should take a census because the truth is we are probably the majority of the population right now. I am a big girl and I am proud of it, Because I earned it. If being big is a consiquence I have to pay for my beautiful little girl. I'll pay it. I know that people probably laugh and wisper when I walk by, especially childeren. There not perfect either and I'm sure that they are struggling with they're own problems. Its just that my problems show alittle better than theirs. Don't give up. Thats the key. Its hard to loose weight just keep going. If you need to talk my email is ____@____.com Or you can contact me here.

Hi,
You could consider talking to you doctor about cutting out carbohydrates.
This takes enormous will power. It worked for me.
You can eat any meat, chicken, cheese, eggs, bacon, sausage, etc. You can Google Atkins for a list of foods. This is a hard diet to follow and if you are serious and completely strict with yourself you could lose a lot FAST. The first three or four days you won't see a change. Take a starting weight and date - then don't check again for two or three weeks. You should see a drastic difference! Repeat.
You can even eat fast food burgers without the bun, watch out for ketchup. Condiments have sugar - that turns into carbs! Fast food salads are okay, no crutons...
Hope this helped.

A.,
I know it is very depressing. I am 34 and until about 2 months ago I weighed 342 or so. About 2 months ago I decided that I wasn't going to be this person anymore. I know that going to the gym is scary. You don't want all these people looking at you try to exercise. I started walking around my mothers yard(she has 7 acres) but you should get a tredmill or go to the park and walk the track, it's FREE. I don't like getting hot either but your not going to burn any fat away if you don't. I wait until later in the evening when it is not quite so hot and then go walking. But you have to make up your mind that you want to change for yourself. I have lost 30 pounds in 2 months. I only eat bread once a week. You need to eat breakfast. I have been drinking a protein shake and a lean cuisine for lunch and then a reasonable dinner. You need to look at protion sizes. Read the labels on the food you eat. I was amazed when I realized that I ate so many calories everyday. If I feel hungry I drink water and eat a couple of wheat crackers like wheat thins or wheatables.But if you don't do anything but cut down on the portions of food that you eat you will lose some weight. It's not going to just fall off tomorrow but you gotta start somewhere and I'm on the road. We have an eatting disorder. Just like if we threw up or didn't eat. We are eating ourselves to death. I feel so much better already just by making these little changes. Oh, and I am also taking a vitamin at night before bed. And another thing try to not eat after 7:30p.m. Just drink water. I stopped drinking diet cokes too. That is all I ever drank and I thought that I wouldn't be able to stop drinking them but they don't even taste good to me know. I drink sprite zero and I get some great value sugar free grape drink mix to add to my water(from walmart). I'm telling you you should try it.
M.

Hey A.,

Just a thought...after I had my daughter I needed to lose some weight so, I went on Jenny Craig! It helped me learn how to eat better and to eat 6 smaller meals than 3 big meal. With having kids it's hard to take time to think of what your eating! I'm no longer on the program but, I still use what I have learned.
It might be something that could give you a jump start!
Remember: your kids aren't thinking about what you look like...just if your there!

Have you tried www.sparkpeople.com. It is an awsome site that can help you change your lifestyle, learn to eat healthy and incorporate exercise into you life (you don't even HAVE to do it outside!). It's free and the best part of it is that there are a lot of people on it to help motivate you. There are people on message boards who are like you and who WERE like you so they understand. I really hope you check it out. Do it for your children AND for yourself! Good luck to you!
A.

Try weight watchers. It's inexpensive and teaches you how to eat regular food wisely. There are several meetings each week in huntsvillte. As far as the exercise, start slowly. Try making an extra trip or two to the mailbox everyday. When that is easier, walk halfway down the street and back. You didn't gain all this weight overnight, you won't lose it overnight. Staying together for the kids is not a good idea if the environment the children are in isn't nurturing to them. If they just see their parents fighting, what kind of message does that send to them. If he's not going to be supportive, then it's better to find healthier alternatives. A good partner will love you for what's on the inside, not what you look like on the outside.

A.
After I had my daughter i wanted to lose some weight I started going to Curves for women. I love it! Its a thirty min work out three times a week. It only for women so i feel much better about going. I didnt want to go to a gym where i had to work out in front of men and all that. Everyone there is so great! Its also alot of fun and you can meet alot of really nice people. I have lost 35 pounds going and working out and eatin better. I think its so hard to do the diets and all that i could never stick to it. I just cut back on how much i ate at each meal and stoped drinkin soda and i lost 13 pounds in a month. You can lose the weight you just have to get your mind set that you are going to do it and stay focused and you will do it i know you can! Good luck!