Family Weddings, When Is It Enough?

If I were you, I would be polite, but matter-of-fact and state the obvious, you just can't afford multiple dresses for yourself and your daughter. Family usually understands things like that, maybe if they really want you guys to be in these weddings, somebody will help you out with the attire. Good luck!

I agree with the other posts. Simply tell them that you would LOVE to (for those that you really want to be involved) and are honored, but unfortunately given current circumstances cannot afford to participate in this capacity. One thing that can be helpful is to offer to help decorate for the reception, assemble little table gifts, etc. I have done this in the capacity of a bridesmaid, though not all bridesmaids did so. This was always very helpful as things do not always go smoothly and sometimes having another person with ideas, vehicle, and time to run an errand is a godsend. Since time is likely going to be an issue as a limited commodity as is money, choose to put your efforts towards those weddings where you feel the closest bonds-->prioritize.

Finally, keep in mind that while it may be a "burden" to have so many weddings, in my family it has always been said that weddings are a much better way to visit with family than funerals. So, with that perspective enjoy these happy occasions.

Can the flower girl dress be worn for all of the weddings? Maybe if you explain the financial stress, it would be something that they understood and would accommodate. I know that some flower girl dresses are white with flowers and that would seem to go with most wedding color schemes. As for your dress, many weddings are now going with one color dress, but all different styles for the bridal party. Maybe you could rent a dress instead of buying one. Best of luck! B.

D.,
I think many of us can appreciate the position you are in. You have to be practical though. Prioritize the weddings based on your closeness with them, figure out how many you think you can handle and then talk with those where you just can't. Let them know kindly that you are a single mom and this is just something you can't afford. It may be that they are so wrapped up in planning the wedding (and all the excitment that goes along) and have forgotten that you maybe can't afford all of these weddings. It may be that they offer to pay for your dress just to have you in the wedding. As long as you're clear that if it wasn't for the money, you wouldn't be considering bowing out of their special day. Just be upfront and they should be understanding. Best of luck!

I don't think it's wrong to admit that you don't have the funds to pay for dress after dress for both of you. Let them know that you're not expecting them to pay for it, but you can't afford so much so you would understand if they wanted to choose someone who could. You're not backing out or saying you don't want to be a part of things... you just simply can't afford it. I have been in a few weddings, and I had one of my own on a limited budget. While I did everything I could to keep the cost down for my bridal party, I also tried to be very aware of what they could afford and what they couldn't so that I wasn't putting anything on them by "honoring" them enough to be in the wedding. It has always seemed strange to me that it's such an honor, yet you're expected to pay for a fancy dress that you'll never wear again... not to mention bridal showers, rehersal dinners, etc.
Another few thoughts... any chance the colors are close enough that you could wear one dress twice? Or your daughter could? Or... if it's a "this is our colors... pick out your own dress type", there are a lot of second hand stores that have nice dresses for a lot cheaper.
You could also possibly sell yours... Craigslist is an awesome place for that... to help offset the cost and maybe put some towards the next one.

If a beloved family member came to me and said that she would love to be a part of my special day but just couldn't afford it, there's no way I wouldn't pay for her dress so she could. Or if they can't afford to pay for your dress, maybe they could suggest another way that you can be a part of it, maybe the guest book or a reading during the ceremony. I understand what it's like to not be able to afford everything you would like to do, and hopefully so will they! I'm sure they will, being close family and all. Good luck!

if you really are a close family they should understand but if it is easier maybe you could talk to one of your aunts or your mother if it is possible and have them sort of pass it down I know that it can be hard but some one who is a parental can sometimes be easier to admit finacial dilemas to if not maybe pick one of your cousins that you relate to the most or just have a meeting with all of them and in the nicest way say what you said here.

This is a tough one! Weddings are definately expensive! If you really can't afford it, just be up front and honest. Let them know that you are so honored that you were asked to be a part of their wedding. Maybe they will get the hint and offer to pay for your dresses. If not, politiely ask them if they need help preparing for the wedding. Try to play as big a part as you can in helping them get ready for their special day. I'm sure they will understand. We don't live in neighborhoods with money trees! LOL :) Good luck.

K.

WOW! Even if you could afford it, it is nuts to spend that kind of money when you have kids to raise! Far better to put it into a college savings account or family vacation fund...
You must speak up. I cannot imagine anyone being offended. If they can afford it and it means that much to them, they will "chip in" and get the necessary things. Even all the gifts are a huge burden.
I am from a large family and learned long ago you can't please everyone. Make a stand, choose names for holiday gifts, etc., volunteer to take candid photos at events with a disposable camera, etc... anything to show your support and involvement without taking food out of your child's mouth, literally!