Failing Kindergarten?..?

Since he has an IEP I would speak with the Special Ed people at his school to see their recommendation. They may want to test him at all areas to see what his levels are. That would clear things up as far as what his grade level abilities are. You may also want to look into some summer programs to see if you can help him catch up a bit over the summer. Holding him back now would be hard, but it would be better than later (when his peers would recognize that he is being held back). I would just want it based on hard data.

if he already knows how to read, write, knows his numbers and letters, he will be BBBOOORRREEEDDD if he repeats Kinder which will only make his wiggles worse. Nothing makes a boy wiggle more than being bored.

As a teacher I would say kinder is the best year to hold them him back. Especially if it stems mainly from social / behavioral issues. Kids in kindergarten have no social stigma when they are held back. In fact most are very happy to be in K again. As they years progress it is very evident when a child is held back. All of their peers realize what has happened.
Kinder is the best year for verbal development because later on their isn't much time for it in the classroom.

Contrary to popular opinion teachers always have the best interest of their student in mind.

If the teacher is telling you he isn't ready I would hold him back. He will be much better off repeating kinder now than if he gets pushed through and misses getting a basic solid foundation. He'll likely be behind, at least to some degree, his whole school career.

They don't mess around in first grade... kids are expected to be able to progress rapidly, building on those skill they should have mostly mastered in kinder. It sounds crazy to me, but at least here, it's the way it's done now. It blows my mind the concepts that they are expected to know and understand.

At our last conference my son's kinder teacher was telling us that he's progressed a lot since the beginning of the year, but still needs work on things such as writing his letters, recognizing his number by sight etc...
I went online and printed off a bunch of "teacher" worksheets and he practices those at home. It has helped. We don't spend a lot of time of them, just a little extra practice.

If I were you, I would start working at home with your son on the things he needs to know. Get a list of the sight words and make flash cards. Play fun learning games with him. There are lots of things you can do 1:1 to include the fact that he's active, and I'd also mix it in with having to sit and concentrate too. If it's balanced with fun and not made to last for hours at a time it will benefit him.

Good luck~

Not being able to sit still and concentrate is NOT a reason to hold him back in kindergarten. Lots of 1st graders start the year off having a hard time concentrating and sitting still. It is all in the transition. My 5 year old will be moving on to 1st grade and we still have this issue. Holding him back in kindergarten for just that issue will not improve the situation -- in fact it will only make it worse since another year in kindergarten would be a repeat of the same stuff. How is he going to concentrate better if he is bored with repeat material?
Talk with your son's teacher and the special education specialist (if your school has one) and get them to explain ALL of the factors involved in their recommendation that your son repeat kindergarten. Make a list of them. Then ask them what they are planning on doing to work on it over the next 2 months remaining in the school year and what you can do to work with him in the 5 months until 1st grade starts. It may be that there are things everyone involved can be doing to help your son achieve the necessary skills to move on to first grade.
In my son's kindergarten class there are 2 kids that are repeating. And there are 2 kids that will be repeating instead of moving on to first grade. I know that the teacher has worked very hard with the two kids that will not be moving on -- but they still are not ready for 1st grade. It would be a disservice to the 1st grade teacher AND all of the other kids in the class to move kids on when they are not ready. I spend a great deal of time in the classroom and I have seen how hard it is for the teacher to address such a huge variety of skill levels in one class. If he isn't ready to move on then you are better off to have him repeat at a young age when he won't associate it nearly as much with being "dumb", but if there are steps that you and the teacher(s) can take to help him be ready those steps should be taken.

I would listen to the advice of the teacher. I'm not sure why so many parents believe that teachers don't have the child's best interest in mind when they make suggestions. Teachers are professionals and while there are some bad ones out there, there are many more good ones who want to help. If you as a parent aren't convinced, then talk to the Special Ed. teacher as someone else suggested. Also, speak with the school counselor and even your pedi. Give them the facts and ask their opinions. Base your decision on what you hear and what you think is best for your son now, not what may happen when he is in high school. Good luck to you both.

Kinder is better to hold someone back in then 1st grade. An extra year to mature is a good thing. I am the mother of 2 kids who were held back to kinder. The extra year was a blessing. It was never about smarts or ability it was about an over all maturity. I have never regretted holding my kids back. My oldest went on to be # 5 in his class an all state tuba player and is now a sophomore in college excelling at everything. My 10 year old is doing well also. The extra year let them both bloom. They were the kids the kinder teachers had them be helpers and that did wonders for self esteem as well.

I would hold him back now & not as he gets older this is where the path for learning & being a good listner begins he doesn't know all his sight words that is required here.Don't blmae it all on he is an active boy that isn't an excuse kids are all active but need to learn to be intuitive at the appropriate times.The time to worry is now when he is failing not the age where he is in the future & is possible the older guy with learning issues get them corrected while he is a young boy.Lastly work with him daily on letters writing them reading them ask the teacher for the list of sight words go over them everday & whatever else she would like to see him improve on.If there is summer school offered take advantage of that for him

I'm very surprised I seem to be the first person to mention this, but have you had him evaluated for conditions that might be affecting his ability to focus and sit still? I would be pushing for a referral from your pediatrician to a specialist who can evaluate him to see if he has a condition such as ADHD making it impossible for him to achieve the behavior goals in class. It's really important to know if this is something he might outgrow or whether this is out of his control entirely.

When teachers are noting kids are too active and unfocused, that's a real red flag. They know what is normal active boy and what isn't, so this can be a tip-off that it's time to seek medical guidance, in the same way you did with his speech issues.

Best of luck with everything.

This is a tough one. My oldest is behind one year due to several things including a speech delay. He's also on an IEP. He did K twice. The first year, when he was five (his bday is in June) was homeschool. We enrolled him in the public system the next year, when he was six. That was really the best choice for him because he was much better equipped emotionally as well as developmentally. He's still behind (he's in 2nd reading at a K level) BUT the school he's in is amazing. They give him as much help as possible and there has been no question of holding him back. There's no point. While he will advance, he'll never catch up to his peers so holding him back will just make it really frustrating for him. I have had tons of meetings with his teachers, the school director, psychologists, councilors, speech therapists, his special ed teacher, etc. and we all came to this conclusion together.

How old is your son? I know you said he's 6 but is he a just turned 6 or almost 7? If he's closer to 7, it would probably be best if he just moves on especially since he's getting to that age where boys really seem to start taking off anyway. A lot of research is showing that boys are much better equipped to start learning in the type of environment our schools prefer (as in quiet, no wiggling etc.) and this is also when reading can take off for them. Is he meeting his IEP goals? If he's not, look at the goals and make sure they're not set too high. If they're too high, even if he makes progress it will look like he's failing. I ran into that on J's public school K IEP's. I moved him to a different school when he started 1st and they set a much better one. He's now meeting if not exceeding most of his goals. If you don't already do so, I would recommend getting everyone together that is involved with your son and having a big meeting. It doesn't have to wait until his next IEP unless that's coming up really soon. So I'm talking about teacher, speech therapist, every professional that works with him. It may take a bit to find a day & time that everyone can agree upon but it's well worth it. Even if it has to be 7 a.m.! I've had to do a couple at that time. It lets everyone that works with him see where he's at on other stuff and it even allows for some synchronization. For instance, J has two speech therapists, one at school and one he sees privately. They were able to see what they were each working on with him, and where he was at for each one and then they decided to work on the same thing at the same time with him and it's been amazing.

This choice (whether to keep him back or move ahead) also stems on your school and the support team your son has in place. You could hold him back all you want but if he doesn't have an awesome team to help him, as well as an IEP that has realistic goals, it's not going to help. Big hugs!

Sometimes children benefit from staying back a year and usually the Teacher would know and understand the needs of the academic child better than the parent.

I'd trust your son's Teacher - since he's shown tangible issues with certain necessary skills needed to be successful in 1st grade.

From what some teacher friends have said, it's better to repeat 1st grade than kindergarten. If he would repeat 1st grade, he'd be learning more about reading, etc., the second year, than if he stayed in kinder another year. Besides, maybe by the time he's in 1st grade, things will "click". He may do fine in 1st grade...it's still several months away and you have the summer to help him catch up. They also have tutoring. My vote is to go to 1st grade and see how he does. Maybe let his kinder teacher know now so she can help him get prepared. From what I understand, you can't actually "fail" kindergarten. You can just choose to repeat it. Of course, after that, from 1st grade on, the school can hold him back if he's not progressing. Best of luck! Let us know how it goes!

Thought I'd share with you my experience with my now 29 year old son. He was born in Aug., so was among the youngest in his K. class. At the time, our school district offered Developmental 1st Grade (D-1), which was the perfect transition year for him. He was immature, and this gave him an extra year to grow. He then went to first grade the following year. He excelled in school, graduating 8th in his high school graduating class. He was in all AP classes, went to Texas A&M Univ. where he earned a degree in electrical engineering. As he got older, he actually thanked us for giving him the extra year and was happy he wasn't one of the youngest in his class. Many of the kids had fall birthdays and were right about his same age, due to starting a year later. Of course, each child is different, and you have to weigh what is best for your son, but if the teacher and your instincts tell you he will benefit from this extra year, view it was a gift of time for your son, not as a negative. Good luck!

I think its a recommendation that he repeats kindergarten but I dont think he can be made to repeat...?

If the teacher is recommending that he repeat, she probably has some pretty good reasons for it - the main one being that she thinks, with the skills he has now, he cannot be successful in 1st grade.

If this was my child, I would have him go to first grade. However, if he goes on, you need to really be prepared to work with him, ALOT over the summer, and in the next school year, to provide extra support for him.

Its hard, because if he is a little behind with his skills, you want to work with him on his skills, but if he is active, you dont want to take away from his play time and activity time. If you search on the internet, you can probably find some ideas for sight word games which involve movement - versions on basketball, or races, etc. One that I just made up :) : Take 10 site words and put them on large cards in large lettering. Make a matching set. Place the 10 words around your yard. Put the other cards in a stack, facing down, on the porch. Your son must pull a card from the stack, run to find the matching word, and then run back to the porch. Repeat this until he has found all the matches. Time him as he does it, and track the times, to see if he can beat his best score.

I would also meet with the first grade teacher and explain the situation and see what she can do in her classroom that would help him. If there is more than one first grade teacher, ask which one is best with active boys. If the first grade teacher requires alot of seat work - your son will have a really hard time.

I would definitely want my son to go on - but you have to put in alot of work, and get the right teacher, or he will be more frustrated and unhappy next year.

I don't like the fact that the teacher waited until April to contact you on this! You don't have much time to react. I would ask the teacher where he needs to be and then look into getting a tutor or maybe you can even work with him nightly at home. Have him re-evaluated in a month. I would not want to hold back my Kindergartener either, but I also would not want them to enter 1st grade behind. If he is struggling now, I would be worried it will snowball. And if he is not catching on, he may become intimidated and not ask questions or become completely turned off to learning. And you certainly do not want that.

Also, look online and find your schools curriculum. What should he be able to do in Kindergarten and what are the expectations for 1st grade.

My Kindergartener gets 6 sight words a week. She has to write them 3 times each on Monday, make flash cards Tuesday, use them all in a sentence on Wednesday and has a spelling test each Friday. Each night she had to read (early reader/level 1 books) 10 mins and log it.

This is a LOT, but it's what s required. I would really want to know where he is suppose to be and where is he struggling. Poor guy not really learning to talk until a year ago I sure is not helping him :(

Good luck to you!

Hmm well I would be really upset too. It's kindergarten for goodness sake. How cruel can a teacher be not to mention hurt his self esteem? Anyway I was four when I went to kindergarten and I didn't know how to read etc (teachers said I was a busy bee too) at all but I went to first grade at 5 I did just fine. I personnally have decided to homeschool my children because of all the crazy stuff going on in today's school systems. So anyway maybe switch schools or just work with him on the tasks that are difficult for him while making it fun. Just remember that every child/baby learns differently and that they shouldn't be labeled. For example some learn to walk/talk at 9 months others 15 months or longer. Everytime someone tells me that my LO should be doing this by this age or some other milestone I always say well when they are ready they will do it and I haven't been wrong so far. Anyway I wish I had better advice it must really be hard to have to deal with such a difficult situation.

I was a junior high and high school teacher for several years before staying home with my own kids. What I saw was that older boys typically did much better both socially and academically than younger boys within a grade. The pattern did not hold for girls, who tend to be naturally better at sitting and listening. This is true even of gifted boys ... sometimes they just don't have the ability to sit and listen until they are older. If your son's teacher is recommending holding him back, even if its primarily for behavioral issues, I would consider it. Its not going to hurt him and may help him. Its certainly reasonable to really discuss the issue with the school, however, and determine what plan they have to make sure he's not bored and overactive next year.

It sounds like he can move on, but should he? Just from our experience, first grade is a LOT harder than Kindergarten. I was shocked at how much more work there was for my son. The sitting still could be an issue because of how much more knowledge he will be expected to consume in first grade. My advice is to have a very serious sit down with the teachers and understand why they don't want to pass him.

Just FYI, my son is super bright, but gets into continuous trouble for not being still and talking ALL THE TIME. At first I tried to punish him for being in trouble all the time. Then, I started rewarding him for NOT getting into trouble. If he comes home a week without any check marks against him, he gets a big treat (dinner out at his choice of a restuarant or a movie out).

Good luck!
L.

Umm...kinder. isn't required in the state of Texas. As a first grade teacher, I would have to agree that first grade would be a much better grade to repeat than kinder. It is also my understanding that, according to research, kids who repeat a grade are more likely to drop out of high school. Stand your ground Mama! I also have to mention that being active is normal for kids; however, if you continue to hear it year after year...there may truly be a problem. Many people don't believe in ADHD or medicine. A lot don't realize, though, that a diagnosis from a doctor can qualify your child for accomodations through 504 whether he is medicated or not.

It sounds like he is academically ready. You have not mentioned if he is socially ready. I'm sure that he would not be the only boy who is one year older. A lot of parents hold their boys back by choice so that they will be bigger for school sports. It also slows down boys/girls being confronted with teen issues (if they are with a younger peer group). You will also have him a year longer before he moves out. So there are positives. -- The teacher sees a different side than you see. BUT you should get him tested and get a second opinion. And the final decision should be yours.

I know this decision must be so difficult to make. You do not want your child to be the oldest kid in his class. However, you also do not want him struggling every year in school. If he is struggling verbally and with reading, he really would probably benefit from another year. I read another comment about your child being bored. There is still so much for him to learn. Think of all of the verbal skills he can gain through another year. Kindergarten really is a crucial year. Children are reading mid-year and these skills are essential for first grade. There also work on so many verbal skills that your child could probably benefit from.
If he has an IEP, have you had an ARD meeting? You might discuss it with the committee to see what their suggestions might be. I read another response about talking to your pediatrician. That may be a good idea. Your doctor probably knows your son well and can offer some advice. The teacher and pediatrician are professionals. They work with children on a daily basis and really are the best people for advice. We can give you all of the advice in the world, but you really should talk further with the teacher and your doctor. I wish you the best of luck. I know that must be very difficult for you.

What you have described doesn't sound like a reason to hold your son back. As a teacher, I can't imagine holding a child back with your son's abilities in kinder. If you are going to repeat a grade, I would certainly recommend first grade instead of kinder.

Talk to the teacher to see if Summer School is an option. You can also get DVD video games that teach a variety of things. I found some for my granddaughter at Best Buy for about $10.
See if you can have him evaluated for Autisim and dyslexia. To me it sounds like he is doing fine and the teacher is being overly picky.
You could also start him in Martial Arts it helps kids with consentration issues.

I have my Master's in education, but secondary so I was very against holding back and I was NOT going to hold back my summer baby boy until I really researched it. After looking into it, we have decided to hold him back. I did quite a bit of research on it and only came across good things if there is a real reason to hold back. Social reasons was the #1 top reason. My son was in speech therapy and really didn't start talking until 3 and then not really well until 4. Even now (he'll be 5 in July) I can tell he's not where his peers are with language. We have decided to do private school and had him evaluated. His prek suggested waiting a year but I still wasn't sure. After the private school eval they said academically he was more than ready (which I knew) but socially/language-wise he wasn't quite there. She said they would accept him this year but they really recommended waiting a year. According to everything (and the principal at this school confirmed it) Kinder is NOT what it was when we were little. It's more like 1st grade and pretty demanding. At this private one they even learn cursive in kinder. So after much debating we decided to wait a year before sending him. Personally I think it's much better to hold them back in kinder if the reasons are for social/language. That way he can catch up and will be more on par with his peers and able to make friends thus having more fun socially in school as well. He will also be more mature and therefore should be better at sitting for longer periods and paying more attention. If his teacher is suggesting holding him back I personally would do it now rather than first. He is less likely to remember being held back now than in first and he will make new friends next year and then be able to move on with them. If it's possible (I know they are not cheap) you could do a private kinder that is shorter in day length (or do a half day program somewhere) and then get him more involved in social activities. That is our plan for next year. Our soon will do a part-time kinder 2 days a week and then we plan to "homeschool" so to speak on the other days by doing more social activities and incorporating things he wouldn't really learn at school (museum trips, etc.). I know this is only logical if you can afford and are a SAHM mom though. If it's not an option I would just have him repeat kinder but still focus on social activities on the weekends and/or one night a week if you can. Good luck and try not to stress too much. It's HARD making decisions like these.

I know texas has a law that you dont have to put your kid in school til 1st grade, you dont have to prove home school requirements to enter 1st grade. So if they are accepting children who have possibly learned NOTHING, and not accepting your child who their staff was teaching. You can bypass this. Tell them your reasons for wanting him in first, and get him a tutor to pick up the slack of what he has not learned.

Why push him to go. Our daughter will be starting kindergarten next year she is six. Yes she will be older but the goal is she is not going to struggle as much. And i cannot tell you after what we have seen this past year that we are so glad we held her. Even more glad that we cought it before she even started kindergarten! better to hold him now then need to later. Just because he knows his letters, can read, and knows his numbers doesn't mean he is ready to go.

Ask the teacher what she suggests you can do to help him be prepared for 1st grade. If she thinks he will not make it, she should have a plan how best to help him succeed.

Elementary School Parents have the right to say "no" to a teacher/school district that feel that a child should not advance/be held back another grade level. At this age, they expect children to be in line like good little pupils and stay still for all the time they are in school. If he has an IEP on file, the school psychologist should have noted his behavior when being tested and made reconditions for referrals for specialists - then the teacher should modify his program to fit his needs, not the teachers.

I have not read any of the other responses yet but if the teacher thinks he would benefit from another year of kindergarten, then maybe that is what you should do. You did not mention if he had any preschool prior to kindergarten, or exactly when his birthday is in relation to the cut-off date, but it sounds like he just may need that extra year to mature and catch up in certain areas.

My SIL went through a similar situation with her son. He had only been 5 for a month when he started kindergarten and he had never been to preschool or had had any other experiences away from his mom. He was extremely timid and clingy and had a very difficult time adjusting to being in a classroom setting full of his peers and having to take direction from another adult. He started out going for a 1/2 day, but 2 months into it the teachers recommended a full day to try to help him catch up with the other kids. At the end of the year, they still recommended he repeat kindergarten. My SIL was not happy about it, because she felt they should have given more of a heads up earlier in the year and some ideas on working with him at home, but really, IMHO, she should have had him in preschool at 4 and been working with socializing him earlier (instead of keeping him at home and just letting him watch TV and play video games all the time). The teachers said she could still let him advance to 1st grade if she wanted him to, but he really was not ready for it and most likely he would end up being held back at some point anyway. So SIL did end up having him repeat kindergarten since she figured there would be less stigma with repeating kindergarten than say 3rd or 4th grade. He did much better the second time around, it was almost like that first year of kindergarten was the preschool he never got before.

They won't keep failing him repeatedly - it all likelihood they would make other recommendations for extra help that he may need outside of school to help stay on par with the other kids. But I would listen to the teacher on this one - this is their job and they are the ones with the experience of working with hundreds of kids and knowing who is ready to move on and who is not.