Extended Family Christmas Presents?

You could have a gentle discussion that your budget is very tight and sending gifts to her boys would be hard for you and you would feel badly about receiving when you can't reciprocate. Be gracious, though, and if she still wants to gift to YOU, then let her.

Would it be possible to send a small amount in a card and ask the parents to take the kids out for ice cream or something on your behalf? Or mail ornaments your kids made for her kids?

In the last few years things have been hard for several of our family members. My cousin lost her job. My SIL kept her job but her benefits got cut, etc. We give gifts to the little guys (under 18). The rest of us eat and be merry and are a gift to each other.

Send a card and write a letter to each kid telling them how proud you are of his/her accomplishments each year.

If you feel the need to send a gift, send something all the kids can enjoy, like a floor puzzle, card game or DVD. Those are pretty lightweight and shouldn't be too much in postage.

I went through this with a cousin years ago. I have two boys, and she has 4 children. It got very expensive buying and mailing gifts for so many kids, but I love them all and wanted to do something. We talked about it, and decided to send a DVD for each other's family each year. Eventually we grew apart, which makes me sad. Now we don't exchange gifts at all, but it worked well while it lasted.

I know what you are saying. I dealt with this this past weekend....and posted nearly the same sort of question. We gave gifts, but the price difference between our gifts and their's were huge. I felt I needed to "gift again" to make up the difference. The awesome ladies on here made me realize that I shouldn't do that. She gives because she wants to. She knows you are not buying for her kids. If she still chooses to do it, that is HER CHOICE.

If you feel out of sorts about it (and I would to....just my nature), find something you can make inexpensively to give them. I love things that are handmade and/or personal.

*baked goodies for the family to enjoy
*cookies in a jar - looks nice and they can make as a family much later when the rest of the goodies run out.
*I make a personalized calendar of the entire side of the family. I put pictures of the people who have birthdays on the top and put in the person's name in the box with the date. Snapfish now has a great way to do this....and they have lots of sales. I got my calendars for $10 a piece after shipping. I had to buy 3 to get that price....maybe one for you, one for her, and one for the related parents? I make 6 for his side and 6 for my side. I keep one of each.
*A family photo put in a frame for them
*Personalized ornaments - on Snapfish you can put photos on the ornaments....maybe one of their family, or her boys together... do you have pictures?
*A craft project that her sons can make together?

OR --- have the candid conversation that you prefer NOT to exchange gifts with them. Maybe have a white elephant gift exchange instead?

Plan a date in the spring or summer to go somewhere fun and enjoy each other's company instead of exchanging gifts now?

For my side, we have 9 kids total. We've decided to have them decorate Christmas boxes at our get together on Christmas Eve and us 3 moms are buying dollar store trinkets to fill the boxes with. There will be a multitude of things to play with and if they get lost or broken....oh, well. It will make the time fun together, the kids will get stuff (that is equal), and will have something to play with while we are together. Our budget was $30 each mom.....but I think it is somewhere around $20.

Good luck!

I'd just send one family gift to them, like a board game. I liked the suggestion someone made of adding homemade cookies to the package.