Buying Christmas Gifts for Nieces and Nephews: No More Responses, Please! :-)

Updated on November 08, 2008
T.W. asks from Allen, TX
59 answers

I have two sisters. My older sister has one child and my younger sister has two. I have four. We started out buying gifts for each other's children at Christmas, but two issues have arisen. (1) the number of children is obviously not balanced between families (so I only would have to buy 3 presents, but my sisters would have to buy 5 & 6). And (2) the sister with only one child does not have an abundance of financial resources. I feel bad expecting my sisters to buy gifts for all of my kids. We thought about having the kids draw each other's names, but my sisters collectively would always have to draw my kids' names unless I'd be willing to buy more presents for my own kids. I threw out the idea this year of just having the kids make gifts for each other, but my sister (the one with limited money no less) did not like the idea. I'm at a loss. I just don't know what to do. I can't come up with a fair solution. Anyone have any ideas?

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So What Happened?

Well, I passed along the family gift thing to my sisters and I think it's a "go"! Don't know why I hadn't thought of that before...thanks for all of the great ideas! I think we are going to pick a theme each year (i.e., board game, movies, camping equipment, etc.). There were a lot of good ideas also if I lived closer, but we live in 3 different states and will only be together for a few days around the holidays, so I think this is going to work out great. Thanks again everyone!

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

Why not pull names? This is a tradition that we have done for about 4 years now.(There are 8 grandkids) We set a limit usually no more than $10(Walmart has a good aisle of toys under $10 for all genders and age). Us siblings get one big gift for each family with a set spending limit. (Yes sometimes my son has gotten his sister or vice versa but the fun was in seeing if they could keep a secret.)

Times are hard and anything that will make things easier is always the best idea. This year the family big gift is to find a ornament that represents the other family. Last year we did homebaked goodies. As long as it comes from the heart, all should be willing to agree.

S.J.

answers from Dallas on

Have each sister buy a single "family" gift vs one per child that can be shared and used by all in the family. It makes it even (1 gift) and makes it easier by not having to find 5-6 distinct gifts for the larger family.

Things they each can play or do together -videos, board games, video games, cpu games, gift certificate, or things they all can play together and enjoy.

If possible - and agreed upon - set a dollar limit

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

Y'all could have the kids draw names - that's what we do. Yes, I end up buying presents for some of my own children - well - some of my children end up buying a present for their sibling.

Is there something wrong with that?

It works for us (with 14 cousins, there is no way that I'm buying everyone a present).

S.

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L.B.

answers from Dallas on

My sister and I have the same issue - she has 5 and I have 3 -We set a limit my limit for her 5 is the same limit for my 3. So if it is 75.00 per family then I split that 75.00 between her 5 kids, always keeping in mind that the littler kids dont care about how much it costs, it is just opening that counts. This is working for us, but just for a few more years then we will have to refigure. Also, have the kids make a list with reasonably priced gifts and pick the items you can work into your budget (or your sisters).

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E.J.

answers from Dallas on

How about instead of a gift for each person, each family exchanges a family gift? For example, you could give both your sisters' families homemade trail mix or even a game.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

I have a sister with three daughters whom I adore and claim as my girls. I have another sister who has one son, and I have a son. I buy gifts for all of my nieces and my nephew, but I do not look at it as a number thing. One has three against my one. I see each individual child. I am not giving the gifts to my sisters, I am giving the gifts to my nieces and my nephew, they are individuals. I also sign the cards that the gifts are from my son. Your sisters perhaps see the situation as I do, and see the individual child and not that you have four kids against their two and one. Don't stress and enjoy your family and the holidays. Getting ready for the holiday is stress enough.

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R.E.

answers from Dallas on

What about suggesting a gift card exchange? Where you each get each other a family card to the movies or a restaurant or something. I like the idea of a family game too. Maybe pool your resources and go do something fun and Christmasy together instead of giving gifts. Like you all meet at the North Pole Express or go light looking together or something. Then, you can just buy gifts at birthdays. My sisters and I still buy for the kids, but to cut costs, we stopped buying for each other which helped alot. We'd always bought $25 gifts for my sister and their husbands, so cutting out those, saved $100 ($50 per couple).

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know the ages of your sisters kids, but maybe you can try a white elephant. Buy gender neutral gifts that are in the kids ages. Each person buys the # of gifts for the number of children, ie 3 kids = 3 gifts, but don't let your kids see the gifts you have bought. Keep the dollar amount limited, say $15 or $20 so that the ones with the greater burden, you, still doesn't spend a small fortune. Wrap, but don't label the gifts with names. Put a number on the gift and have each child draw a number. Yes, your children will likely come away with something you bought, but either way each child gets a gift.

Gift ideas:
DVD's
Music CD's
Games - I personally like Cranium brand games like Hullabaloo & Cariboo that will work for a lot of ages,
Crayola specialty markers & papers

I'm sure there are tons of ways to improve on this idea if you want to brainstorm with your sisters.

I feel for you. I am a middle child too. For many of us, it's in our nature to try to make everyone happy and find a middle ground. You have to realize that you just can't always be the one to solve the problems single-handedly. Do your other sisters resent having to buy an unequal number gifts or is it just that you feel it is unfair? If they have no problems with the "old" way, then maybe it's best to leave things alone. Yeah, you might feel bad, but if they don't, then don't worry about it. If they DO have a problem with it, then try to force your sisters to help you come up with something. I would press your older sister, the one with the limited resources & only child to get her to make suggestions as she did't like the idea of making gifts.

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L.P.

answers from Dallas on

We have a similar situation in my family - what we decided to do was buy one game as a gift for the entire family - something that will be fun for the youngest child and that can include the older kids, too. Don't wake Daddy, Clue, Candyland, etc. have worked pretty well for us in the past, and the kids love it when the adults play with them and "lose" to a kid. When we couldn't find games, we went with movies/dvd's - building a small collection - Finding Nemo,etc. And maybe having a talk with the kids to make sure they know it's the thought that counts, not the cost of the gift. As a kid, I remember one side of the family gave more extravagant gifts, and the other gave what they could, it wasn't a big deal to me, but looking back I remember loving the knock-off barbie as much as the other one, just because someone I loved so much gave it to me. If the aunt with little resources wants to give , let her - she may be a little hurt by the insinuation that she can't "afford" to do for her nieces and nephews the way you can. My family likes to ask me what I need/want for my kids, I'll tell them they like this or that - and it's easy to find nice inexpensive gifts , if you look around. I got a bunch of disney themed gifts for my nieces this year from Dollar Tree and have put together some nice little packages for them - they'll never know where the stuff came from. Hope this helps some,
Laura

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

We have done what the previous poster suggested. My cousin and I exchange gifts, but I have 2 kids and she has 4. We also live across the country from each other, so shipping gets expensive. We decided a few years ago to start exchanging family friendly games. The kids love it! Even if the games aren't appropriate for all of the ages of the kids (my kids are 10 and 4), the older ones can help the younger ones play. It has been fun and affordable for all of us. The kids have fun helping to pick out the gifts too. One year we gave DVD movies also and that was fun.

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N.

answers from Dallas on

Up until last month, my sister-in-law had one child and we had three. She just had a new baby girl and our oldest buys presents for family members on his own now so we're actually going to be even with two kids each. But, before we were "even" and they had to buy for 3 while we only bought for 1, I would just spend a little more time planning ahead for gifts for my nephew and get more for my money by buying stuff on sale or clearance. I would also try to make it seem like more by dividing it up into at least three gifts like toys, clothes and maybe something educational like books or puzzles, etc. I'm probably spending as much on my nephew as my in-laws are on only one of my kids, but because I plan ahead and watch for really good sales or clearance items, the value of the gifts all together are the same. My in-laws have always been very generous and thoughtful with gifts for my kids so I have no problem putting forth the extra effort, and if necessary the extra money which I budget for each year, to try to balance the value between families. I just try to be smart about it and save my family money at the same time whenever I can.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

What's worked for us is putting a spending limit on gifts. I have one child and my brother has 3. I send my brother $100 every Christmas for them to use towards the kid gifts. They don't like sending money since find it fun to buy baby/toddler gifts so they send a gift in about that amount. What i like about this is i feel the families spend equally and the kids all receive a gift. good luck. your family will come up with the best solution.

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A.J.

answers from Dallas on

Hi, I would suggest that there are a ton pf places to buy really great gifts for little money at all...

I shop at a lot of great places and get tons of great stuff for nearly nothing. I can afford to shop at full price places but I consider myslef a bargain diva. Some of the places I love and find wonderful new in package items to give as gifts...

Goodwill store
Salvation Army store
Michaels
Ross
Tj Max

The Goodwill stores are not your grandmas goodwill any more they are full of wonderful finds...
Michaels has loads of childrens toys and gifts for 1.00 Target has a 1.00 spot and the dollar tree is great as well...

Your sister can put together great gift bags for each child fot 5.00 ea or less at any of these places...

Its not the amount you spend its the love behind the gift!

Good luck
A. J

L.P.

answers from Tyler on

I really like the family gift idea, but I know how much kids like to unwrap gifts! Why don't you and your sisters agree on a dollar amount to spend on a really cool game or toy that would stay at the Grandparents home so each child would have time to play with it during visits. Depending on what amount you all agree on, it could be a game system for indoors or something like a basketball hoop outdoors (with your folks approval, of course). I would only include your siblings and parents in the decision making, the kids will be split too many directions.

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

I am in the same situation as you. However, I don't look at it as who has to buy for more or less. I look at it as these are my neices and nephews and as their aunt I am buying them something because I care about them. I spend all year long buying christmas and hunt for bargains. There are times when I may buy a gift that I only spent a few bucks on but noone would ever know. There have been times when some who are in a financial bind have made tins of cookies for the kids with an ornament or something of their own, and they have loved it as much as any other gift. It's christmas and everyone just needs to look in their heart and what they feel is the right thing for them to do.

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J.R.

answers from Dallas on

I haven't read the other responses- so somebody may have come up with this- but what about one gift for the family? Like a board game or something all the kids/family could enjoy together.

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N.L.

answers from Dallas on

My suggestion is similar to the others who have suggested you do a family gift. Except maybe all the parents could chip in and take the kids to the movies one night, or go go-cart riding, putt-putt, or an arcade. Or as thier christmas gift take them all to Six Flags/Hurricane Harbor, or the Zoo. Just some fun outing they can all do together and make it a tradition!

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

do you all live in the same area? what about planning a special outing for everyone early in December-it could be a fun time for kids and moms and create some terrific memories. Skip the present exchange. You could do something low cost (like a trip to the playground with some special games you have thought of in advance (scavenger hunt) or someone could spring for tickets to a movie and then have ice cream afterward. when the kids got older you could also spend a volunteer afternoon at Mission arlington or another non-profit. You could have a special craft session and let the kids make ornaments for the tree.
Take pictures of each cousin gathering and make a special album for these "events" and you will have a terrific collection of pictures to enjoy over the years.
these events will take some planning, but they don't have to be expensive. After a few months, they won't remember what toy they got, but they may remember the special get togethers in the years to come.
You could also think of a name for your gathering or plan something that everyone wears a red shirt or something. Have a wonderful Christmas!

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi T.:

How about a group gift for each family of children? Say, a game, or a gift card to a movie theater? It doesn't have to be anything crazy. I've seen sets of four fun ice cream bowls with ice cream toppings all in one box. The stores have lots of these things during the holidays. Or, if you all live in the same state, how about a cookie baking and decorating party together. If you make it a tradition, the kids will totally get into the spirit of Christmas with their cousins and it will be their fun! It could even all turn into a slumber party after reading the "Night Before Christmas" of course! How fun would it be to begin the 'cousins' tradition of craziness for just one night a year? Maybe they could even paint t-shirts with putting paint on their hands and placing them upside down on a t-shirt. Each child could decorate his/her own tree on each cousins shirt. That's a great gift!

Christmas shouldn't be about the gifts. It should be about spending time with our families. Don't children already receive so many gifts from parents and grandparents on both sides of their families anyway?

Have fun with it!

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G.W.

answers from Dallas on

I'm sure someone has suggested this... but have everyone trade names. The parents would draw the names for the kids. Each kid only buys one gift - and it could have a price limit of $5. When our family does this, along with the name we also put on the paper an idea or two of something that person would like that is under $5. Just an idea - hope it helps. So your sister that only has one child would only have to buy one gift and it would only cost her $5.

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D.J.

answers from Dallas on

Either don't exchange or make it less than $5, gift cards, books at 1/2 price books....lip gloss or cars. Kids are really appreciative of the little stuff we take for granted. OR draw names, we have done that it seems to work well, even if one of your kids draw your own kids names. IT is fun for them to shop and put a price limit on it. Hope that helps.

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M.R.

answers from Dallas on

Here's another idea after so many great ones. How about having a Bingo party for the kids? You can get "prizes" instead of presents and have the kids play for them. You and your sisters can split the cost any way you like. My friend and I did this and our kids loved it. Those parties are still a great memory and they are teenagers now.

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T.O.

answers from Dallas on

I love the family gift idea too! I think I'll do that this year!

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G.H.

answers from Dallas on

We ran into this problem a couple of years ago when our family started growing and everyone's concern was if we get gifts for everyone we would be purchasing 14 gifts for kids between my 9 neices & nephews and my 4 children plus a very young sister in law. So we decided to draw names, we each draw for the amount of kids we have and then everyone gets something and we only have to buy gifts for the amount of children we have. It has worked for us especially because each child feels as if they are responsible for getting something for "their pick". Good luck!

E.C.

answers from Dallas on

Why don't you all pitch in and throw a Christmas party for the kids?! This could be really fun, and you could order some cheapo presents from the "Oriental Trading Company".

Put on some Christmas music, have cookies (or even MAKE them with all the kids), milk, red punch, green Jello, play "Pin the Bag on Santa"... you could even make so many cookies you go and donate them to the local Senior Center or adoption home.

Really, check out the Oriental Trading Company for games and goodies. Really cheap stuff there!

I wish my nephews lived close so we could do this with them!

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B.S.

answers from Dallas on

Have you considered a family gift? Instead of individuals, you give one gift for each family (eliminates trying to think of something to give the brother-in-law too). Things like board games, family friendly dvds, even food that you guys make to keep it low budget.

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D.R.

answers from Dallas on

What about giving a family gift - just one gift for each household for the family to share.

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A.H.

answers from Dallas on

I have 3 girls, my brother has 1 girl, since he is limited on funds as well. We all decided on a limit like $10- $20 Max. I have ALWAYS bought his daughter that amt times 3, so he gives my girls $20 each & his daughter gets $60.00 (or more). Also my sister has 2 (boy & girl) and we do the same, they get $30 each. Therefore no one spends more than the total amt. Limits work well with us.

We stop buy for the adults a long time ago...

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T.W.

answers from McAllen on

Hi T., I would get a gift card as someone suggested or get something for the the family as a whole. Maybe yall could set a limit like 50 and only spend 50 for the whole family. Family DVD's, games, GC, whatever, so no one feels cheated. Maybe even draw names for each family.

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

My family last year did a chinease christmas. You buy the number of gifts that you have kids, set a $ amount, and each kid pulls a number. Then they pick a gift. This worked for adults so not sure how to do children, maybe instead of gifts from the aunts to kids you start family gifts. Each sister buys a gift or gift card for the family to use, or make an entertainment basket (with movie vouchers, popcorn, and a dvd). I also do home made gifts for the families like truffles or salsa. I have 10 neices/nephews and I never have money so my siblings have never expected anything from me to their kids. Good luck.

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D.W.

answers from Tyler on

T.,

I have 2 suggestions...

#1- buy a family present- a game they can play together or do a movie basket with microwave popcorn a movie or two some soda's or juice boxes. This is what I did for my sister who has 5 children- teens and youngesters. I bought my sister a gift and then bought the family a game and made a basket with goodies in it for everyone.

#2- have the kids pick names w/limit of say $5- put everyone's name in a box and choose names between the kids- that way each child will receive a gift. But let the children choose the gifts... give them $5 and they can purchase the gift for their cousins.

Of course the 2nd option would cost more for the families that have more children- but it would lessen the burden on your sister who only has 1 child.

Hope this helps.
D.

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T.

answers from Dallas on

How about instead of buying gifts for each child, buy one gift for each family to enjoy? Movies, games, etc.

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L.P.

answers from Amarillo on

Ok very easy. Each of you buys a small gift times how ever many children you have. Assuming you all live in same town. Make the gift small and generic for boy or girl. Have a fourth person wrap them so you do not know what is in each box and on christmas have the kids draw numbers as to which order they get to select the gift and let them go pick a box. Or you could do coupons for the kids. Each of you make out 2 coupons for each child. Yes you would make out 2 for each of your own children plus 2 for each of your sisters children. Decorate small coupon books to put them all in and give them for christmas. Put your name on the coupon so the kids will know that each person contributed. They can be like for a sleep over with Aunt ? (given again you live in same town) If there is something one of you fixes to eat the other kids like alot it can be for that meal when they come to visit. It also helps with your own kids giving them a decision making trump card. Or if you live far apart maybe a dozen home made chocolate chip cookies sent in the mail. Me and my sister did this to each other when we lived close. I would put in one free saturday or weekend of baby sitting. Or I would make them dinner one night. Girls day out my treat. They get to chose when to use the coupon.

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L.T.

answers from Dallas on

How about if you as sisters each chip in $10 or $15, and then get all the kids together and have a cookie baking party and bake Christmas cookies and have hot chocolate. Then each family could take home a dozen cookies per child plus a dozen cookies for the mom and dad. Would be fun, a Christmas memory, and a great way for the kids to interact! Maybe you could make it a holiday tradition. I do this with my friends because I cannot afford to buy presents for all of my friend's kids every year, but the kids still like to exchange something.

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with Tracy T. Family gifts are the way to go. Maybe craft projects for the whole gang to do. Games you could all play. Or just presents that all the kids could participate in like bubbles, playdough. I doubt the newborn will miss a present. Or set a cap on the price of the toys. I think that it will never be fair and that if you are honest with your sisters they will understand but still want to do something for your family whether you have more kids or not. You can't take their wanting to away and at that point it isn't your responsability to decide how they spend their money. You are also stopping them from happiness and giving away blessings that make them happy. As long as you have voiced your opinion, then you have to let them do what they want to do whether they agree or not. It is their money. You can also decide on a price, like $50 for the family. Their kids would get more expensive toys but yours wouldn't since $50 wouldn't go as far as with 4 kids versus two. Or you could just switch to stockings. Let each kid have a stocking and everyone put in each kids stocking all the little things. Lotions, candy, pencils, trinkets. Then everyone is buying for all the kids and you can collect trinkets all year long, so it shouldn't break anyones budget all at one time.
Good luck,
L.

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D.C.

answers from Dallas on

You could all pool your resources ($X.XX for each kid) and make a donation to Heifer International (www.heifer.org) -- or any other charitable organization you like. Heifer provides agricultural resources to individual families in underdeveloped countries. Last year, I purchased a group of geese for my friends (who already have everything they need). The geese went to a family in China, I believe, who raise them and use them to their benefit - selling the eggs, breeding, etc. The family agrees to give Heifer one (or more in the case of geese, possibly) of the offspring to continue the gifts to other families. I also purchased a share of a llama (a whole llama was too much for me!) for another group of friends. The recipients of the llama in South America could use the llama for farming, shearing, etc., and the same stipulation applies - the firstborn baby llama goes back to Heifer to continue the gifting.

Your kids won't actually end up with anything material from this, but it is an important life lesson, and you could make other lessons from it as well. I don't think Heifer has the ability to provide ongoing follow-up for your particular gift, but you could do some research on the country your gift went to and on the particular animal you gifted and maybe purchase some inexpensive toy animals for the kids as a symbol of their gift. Your littlest ones probably will not understand this, but the older ones may. You could even start a family tradition and look for ornaments each year that signify the animal you gifted or the country it went to.

I think I spent less than $200 last year for the geese and llama share. And Heifer will send you lots of colorful brochures with pictures of animals and recipients, explaining how each gift is used (not your particular animal, but you get the idea).

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L.R.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know the differences in ages, but this is my suggestion. You could just give a family gift, so each of your three families would buy 2 gifts. It could be a movie, book, puzzle, or game that all the kids could enjoy. Merry Christmas!

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R.F.

answers from Dallas on

If the kids are close in age, this might work. Each child could "buy" a small gift good for either a girl or a boy. Wrap it and have a gift exchange. Each kid brings a gift, each kid gets a gift, and as long as no one but the giver knows what's inside, and no one chooses their own, it should be fair for the kids. As each parent is essentially only buying a gift equivalent for each of their kids, it's fair for the parents, too. You'll wind up buying four gifts, and odds are that one of your kids will get a gift from another of your kids, but that should work out. Good luck!

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S.A.

answers from Dallas on

When we were kids we did the draw name thing - and to be honest we didn't like it. I was thinking of doing a donation in the name of idea with my kids/nephews. There are so many needy people. Since the kids will get so many other gifts why not have each kid pick out (5) can goods and donate them to a food drive. This is a good time to teach them that giving is a great thing and doesn't cost much. If you all live close together you could make it an even to drop off the goods. Or you could even get together and do a door door request for goods explaining that you are doing this instead of exchanging gifts between cousins. My kids are 2 and 4 and several older nephews so we are going to do this instead of sending gifts. I like the idea. We are going to go a little further and donate to animal shelters as well instead of sending our brothers/sisters gifts!!

Good Luck - giving is a way to equalize the checkbook between family!

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B.F.

answers from Dallas on

Try limiting the amt of the gift and go for uniqueness. We do Christmas ornaments or you could do key chains ...or pez dispensers for all they care! It really is the thought you put in to finding something just perfect for that person!

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L.H.

answers from Dallas on

We have a large family as well, we do what we call a Chinese Christmas or Pink Elephant. Have every child pick a gift that is gender generic set a spending limit say $10.00. Wrap it and on the day of opening. Put a number on a piece of paper for the number of gifts involved. Have each child draw a number #1 goes 1st they open a present and can keep it or open 1 more, #2 can open a present or take 1 of the ones already open and it goes until all presents are opened. A gift can only be stolen 2 times and then it stays. We even do this for our adults. It is a blast because it takes up time there are lots of laughs and people are more picky about want they buy because they may get it back. Some pitfalls are if everyone does not stay at the spending limit. Say one person spends $3 and someone else spends $10. So agree up front about the rules, you can modify as needed. It can be a great way to let your children pick a gift and stay on budget. It is a great game.

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D.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hi T.,
Can you group the kids by age and let them buy or make a gift for their cousin in only their age group? You could then put a cap of $5 or $10 on it. Also, you could try making Christmas ornaments for each other at one of those paint & pottery places. That way you know everyone is spending about the same amount on gifts. A final suggestion is to allow the kids to earn money that matches their age (5 y/o earns five dollars, etc). They each pool their money for an angle tree or pick out a gift for an orphange, Toys for Tots or something like that.

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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

This would only work if you see each other at christmas time. But could you pool your money together and take them to a special place of activity? Such as the polar express train ride in grapevine or to go see a movie etc. and tell the cousins that this is something you get to do together at christmas b/c your gifts to each other are spending time with each other! (that way everyone could just pay for their own children) It could be the start of a GREAT tradition that they will always cherish. one of my regrets in life is that I never got to know my cousins because they lived in california!
We've just gone through the same issue with my siblings and I think we are going to hire babysitters and go to a realy nice resturant. Some thing out of the ordinary.
good luck!

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A.J.

answers from Dallas on

You sound a lot like my family. Just realize it doesn't matter how much is spent and don't try to make it fair unless everyone wants to set a $5 or 10 limit on the toy. You can buy good toys for $5 and 10 by going to Big Lots and watching for sales.

Depending on the ages of all the children...try the re-gift tactic. My mom did it to me and I do it to my children. Take a toy or object that one child has outgrown and save it for the next one in line. I can't tell you how many times I would get a toy for Christmas that my sister got for Christmas 5 years prior. It just gives that toy that much more meaning and the older child will go down memory lane watching the younger one play with it.

Remember Christmas is not about getting it's about giving. I have already started telling my kids 5 and 3 around Thanksgiving it's time to give up toys we don't play with. I explain other children who don't have toys will have good toys to play with at Christmas. They are ok with it and know they have to give something up to get more at Christmas.

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

do you all get together for Christmas? Each cousin can put a 25 dollar gift card toward a cousin gift and go together to target or toysrus and shop for what they want at the after Christmas sales. It doesn't matter if they end up with their own gift card if they are all the same gift card. It could be a fun
Cousin tradition.
L.

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H.C.

answers from Lubbock on

What we did was just buy a game for all of them to share.

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P.L.

answers from Dallas on

One thing boys & girls of all ages like to do is make things, why not have the children from each family make a family gift for the others. It doesn't have to be crafty either, how about cookies, brownies, desserts of any kind. If they like crafts there are dozens of books out there for ideas. Gingerbread houses are great for kids of all ages.

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

In the past, we've just bought a gift for each of our own kids. That way they get what they like and are ensured to have a gift of "equal value". You could all put the "from" tags from a name drawn from the bag or just simply put "from your cousins". We've had trouble in the past with our children's uncle "forgetting" to bring the gift for the kid he has drawn. After always having a "spare", just in case, I opted to draw my own kiddos names from then on and buy for them. Good luck!!

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D.A.

answers from Dallas on

We've been through this so I understand! What we tell people is to buy a 'family' gift for the kids - a great idea was to buy one of those Blockbuster family packs that comes with a movie rental or two, the bucket for the microwave popcorn, and some candy - it's always a favorite and then it's ONE gift instead of so many. My brothers family doesn't have a lot of money and what we ask for every year when they ask, is for an updated family photo taken outside....they bought us an inexpensive 4x6 album and they put pictures of the kids that they let the kids take...those are always funny, and some of the family, the dogs, etc....it's fun!

T.H.

answers from Dallas on

You could make the gift exchange more of a fun or game type thing...maybe set a limit for the price of the gift...maybe $5 and then take the children to the dollar store or big lots and let them see who can come up with the most creative gift, or most gifts, for their money...There isn't going to be a real way to even the number of children but you could limit the financial impact. Another idea might be to have the children for a few years buy christmas ornaments for each other. You could also have a set amount donated per child to an angel tree gift and when the money is gathered have the children help buy the gifts for the angel...explaining that this is a gift for a needy child instead of a gift for each other.

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E.P.

answers from Dallas on

I have done this a couple of times during family get-togethers with my sister's family who live in Utah. My 4 kids love it and have actually asked me to repeat it!

I fill a large Santa's sack with ALL kinds of gifts (some wrapped, some unwrapped, some really nice, some thoughtful, some really goof-ball). Then we start from youngest to oldest - -

The youngest in the room reaches down in the sack, and without looking, feels everything, & pulls out a gift. They either frown, look perplexed, or smile really big. The second oldest in the room may choose to steal that gift or pull out a new gift. If the first gift gets stolen, then the kid who was robbed gets to reach back down in the sack AGAIN and pull out the 2nd gift. The third kid can either steal one of the first two gifts, or pull out a third present. When it is each kid's turn, it is a hard decision - - "Should I steal that, or take a chance on getting something better?"

It is hilarious when Grandpa reaches in, makes faces while feeling all the stuff, then pulls out a package of pony-tail holders and barrettes! ((Grandpa is bald!)) Or when teenage cousin, Bret, pulls out lovely Bath and Body Works lotion. Of course, during the 2nd or 3rd time around the room, the "girly" gifts get stolen by one of the aunts or grand-daughters or cousins.

When a theft happens, that person gets to reach back down in the Sack OR steal someone else's gift. They can't steal back their own gift from the person that just took it. You can make a rule that once a gift is stolen for the third time, it stays with that 3rd thief.

It sounds crazy, but if you go around the room 2 or 3 times, everyone usually ends up with a gift that is perfect for them. And the whole family is tired from laughing so much.

And I will tell you a SECRET: It is a terrific way to get rid of odds and ends that you have laying around the house. Look in your closets or cupboards for stuff that you bought on sale and never used; or gifts that need "re-gifting." Just have EACH AUNTIE bring an assortment of "Chinese Fire-Drill" or "White Elephant" gifts ((or whatever you decide to call your game)), and fill the sack to the brim! Count the gifts and you will know exactly how many times each of you can reach down in the sack.

This type of gift "exchange" has become a special memory for my kids.

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

How about buying family gifts, rather than individual gifts? My husband and I did this one year with my sister-in-law during tight times. You could do a movie night basket with popcorn, canned drinks, candy and a blockbuster gift card or game night with the same type goodies and a game that is age-appropriate for their family. This type of gift is also great because it encourages everyone to spend time as a family, when so often, we get busy and don't do that often enough. Good luck, and have a blessed holiday season!

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J.G.

answers from Dallas on

What about a Game exchange? In doing this, each family would buy a game for the other two families. WalMart and Target have decently priced family games as well as card games.
I think it's a good idea because in the long run it is cheaper but more importantly, it promotes family togetherness.
More than likely they could stand to go without toys and for most kids, clothes are no fun to get(unless you're a teen).
What's better than giving or getting a gift that allows you to spend time together?

On another note: maybe for the adults for something different:
My husband's family used to do a 'gag gift' exchange. Everyone would draw a name and then they had a price limit of like $5-10. They had to 'make' a gag gift.
I was new to the family and got to experience 1st hand what 'gag gift' meant in this family. I was asked what I wanted for Christmas and my reply was pajamas with feet b/c of my fave pair when I was a kid. I thought nothing of it. Then Christmas came and there I sat in 'the chair' in front of everyone. My husband's grandma(now passed) gave me the best gift ever...pajamas with feet...granted they were long johns and men's tube socks sewn together...and even had the butt flap cut out. Even better...I had to put them on! Such fun!

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K.E.

answers from Dallas on

One year we set a $5 limit on each gift, and then had a contest to see who could find the best gift for $5. You could get the kids involved in the search and search yard sales, resale shops, the dollar bins at Target, and dollar stores. We did this with my adult cousins and siblings. We actually all had fun with it.

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J.H.

answers from Dallas on

Hi T.!

I also had four children in six years, so I know exactly where you're coming from. I know it's hard for everyone to buy something for each child, so I ask that they consider one (inexpensive) gift that they all would enjoy. Some ideas would be art and crafts supplies, a movie, a LeapFrog Leapster game, a LeapFrog book, or even something as simple and fun as a gift card for each of them to McDonald's or some other favorite fast food place. They appreciate it just as much, and it's less "stuff" to clutter the house. Good luck!

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T.Z.

answers from Dallas on

my brother has 5 kids and i do a family christmas gift as well. if the kids are really wanting to open a present you could have just the cousins draw and buy for ONE cousin each and make it the kids deal...not sure how old they are, but they might like that it is just for kids only. You could still do one family gift and each kid would get to open something of their own.

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V.A.

answers from Amarillo on

We have the same deliema in my family. I have six kids and my brother and sister each have two. We have done the name drawing thing, which for me isn't drawing names, I just buy for al four of them, but we also put each other in the hat too. I hate doing that. We have decided this year, that we are all going to get something for our parents, and forget about each other and the kids. My brother's wife wasn't too happy with it, but we explained to her that Christmas wasn't supposed to be about the gifts, but rather the gift of being together and celebrating the holiday as a family and she seemed to be fine with it. It's not like your neices and nephews, and your kids are going to go without, they still have their parents to buy for them. It's a great lesson to teach about the TRUE meaning of Christmas anyway.

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M.W.

answers from Dallas on

I think pulling names is good.I have 3 and my other two have 1 under the age of 18. We have eliminated the 18 year olds. We set a $20.00 limit and that is it. Also, you could make it a book exchange. Books can get expensive but, set a limit. Each kid can get a Barnes and Noble gift card and you go together to pick out books. If you decide not to pull names this is something else we do. We schedule fun events prior to Christmas day or around the holiday break to have fun. Theses are memories that they will never forget. We have told them this is the money they would spend on gifts and we are just going to have fun together.
1. skating(roller or ice), new holiday movie, Grapevine Polar express train ride. have a cookie exchange. If the kids like build a bear everyone go together to get a new outfit for your OLD bear. Have a lunch date with one of these activities (chick-fil A )

Hope this helps a little. Lastly, have a new years exchange. Once everything goes on sale then you can find cheaper things and the kids want something new at this time.

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K.G.

answers from Dallas on

What about the sisters (especially the one with less funds) buying just two gifts if not just one for your kids....you have 5 & 6 year old boys, right? well, kids that close together will like the same things...especially if they are both boy's/girls. So, one gift for them both will work. Then the something for the two year old---- seriously the NB isn't going to know the difference so everyone should be saving money on him/her for now. Even better would be to find a toy- maybe an active toy like a backyard thing---that all your kids could use...2,5,6 are really not that far apart in age and so forth. THis way, she is getting them something and they will all be able to play with it, but she isn't buying for each and every one. there are plenty of toys and gifts that the whole family could enjoy like a movie or two, a pop corn kettle so y'all can pop some and watch a movie, stuff like that....think "outside the box" as they say.

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