Explaining Why We're Vegetarians

I'm not vegge (DH is; Buddhist... but since we travel a lot he intentionally keeps his enzymes active so he can digest meat in case of emergency). The way we explain food to kiddo is just that: exactly what something is and where it comes from. ((The household joke is that we eat a lot of babies round these parts, because we eat a lot of baby trees - aka - nuts)).

All life on this planet gets it's energy from something else alive. Even plants who photosynthesize die if there is no "decaying matter" in the soil (aka dead animals, plants, insects, fungi, bacteria). I have a friend, who for awhile, refused to eat even plants (since they were living before she ate them) and lived only on supplements. Then, of course, she found out that there is no way to make supplements without death (from whole food supplements - obviously - oystershells to algae, what's creating the supplements has to die in order to be crushed, concentrated and put in a capsule.... to lab created - which are created by altering the DNA of bacteria to excrete anything from VitC to antibiotics).

So we just explain everything. Including, when kiddo was little, why we *don't* eat certain things. Like poisonous things, pets, & people. Head slap. Never thought I'd have to explain cannibalism. Add it to the "Mom" list.

We also talk about how wealthy & lucky we and our society are... since we actually get to CHOOSE what we eat.

Kiddo has adapted really well to that argument... the one of choice (especially when he was a toddler and was big on choosing his own clothes, etc., "choice" was a natural argument). In his circle he knows people who choose/keep:

- Vegetarian (religious, ethical, & health)
- Vegan
- Free-gan (will eat meat/animal products but will not buy it)
- Kosher
- Not-Quite-Kosher
- Halal
- Pescatarian
- No cattle (Hindu)

Plus people who's diets are determined by medical issues:
- Diabetics
- Celiacs
- Allergies

Variations of this conversation DO tend to pop their heads up at other people's houses... and as long as we keep it in the "excited about differences & choices" it's always gone over well. One way (especially, say visiting my corn fed cattle country dad's side o' the fam... aka more mainstream diet choices)... is talking about what they DON'T eat. Either because they don't like it, or because they don't agree with it. Most Americans don't eat dogs or tarantulas. But in Korea & the Philippines dog is eaten, and in parts of South America tarantulas are eaten like crab. (Eeeew to both, but that's my cultural bias). Same token, the idea of eating dandelion greens is laughed at in some quarters, while other's pay through the nose for them.

Whenever we're wealthy we have choices in our diets... and it's been a really fun adventure in our house to look at ours and other people's choices. And since I personally believe it's "wrong" ;) -not morally, I'm just a science geek- not to do anatomy & physiology & taxonomy, yes... we DO talk about muscle groups, blood vessels, adipose, skeletal systems, organ systems, roots, stalks, leaves, flowers, and all other aspects of biology & botony & mycology. But I also grew up listening to surgeries at the dinner table... and helping out on the "farm".

Anyhow... as always... not what I think others should do, just what we do.

R

*** By wealthy, I don't mean in the individual financial sense... but in the fact that we have food stored and for sale year round. Which is ENORMOUSLY wealthy. We don't *have* to eat anything we don't want to in order to survive as a rule in this country. Exceptions to the rule always exist (in the great depression people ate boiled shoes and glue... and in the present day there are americans who survive on Ramen and handouts... but our STORES are always stocked with food. Whether or not we can afford to by the food is a different matter. But there has been no famine here for a long time.)

Every home has different rules. In some homes people drink milk, in other homes they don't. In some homes people eat ice cream for dinner. In their home they eat chicken. In our home we choose to eat other things and not chicken. We don't think they are bad because they eat chicken nuggets. We just don't want to eat it in our family.

Kids don't need elaborate explinations. They are pretty simple. They really don't care why you "really" don't eat chicken nuggets.

In our home we don't allow our children to drink sugar. No juices and soda. They see other children drinking soda and know that in our house kids don't drink it.

We're in the opposite place - I was a vegetarian before I got pregnant, but started to eat meat then and have continued (my daughter is almost nine). However, I've always been very honest about where food comes from and just last week, my daughter decided that she doesn't want to eat meat anymore. So, we've been working on making that transition.

My idea is that your son should make his own choices about meat. At three, he's young, but there's really no health reason why he shouldn't try meat. My guess is that having never had it, he might try it and not even like it. If you're really committed to keeping him from eating meat yet, then I think you simply say that different families eat different things and your family doesn't eat meat. If he persists, then explain that meat comes from animals and you don't want to eat animals.

Good luck!

We're not vegetarians, but my kids do know where everything comes from. (ages 5 and 4) We talk about it. They watch nature shows and now carnivores, herbivores, and omnivores. I would say, in front of your friends, "some people eat meat and some don't, we don't. Everyone is different." That way, you shouldn't offend your friends, and you can be honest with your son. I certainly wouldn't be offended if I were the friend. I do not eat game, and each year at my inlaws, my husband's cousin brings a deer roast. I am perfectly comfortable declining. I simply say, "I can't eat Bambi's mom OR dad, sorry, but I'm going to pass." I think we should all be comfortable discussing who we are in a nice way. By the way, for those of you who are thinking what's the difference, I'm sure there is none, but I just don't do it. Good luck, and it's nice that you did worry about their feelings!

I never understand people who are vegetarians but I respect you doing it. I think you could make it clear to your son that you have only vegetables in your home and not make a big deal out of the fact that he might want some meat elsewhere. It will be tough avoiding a lot of chicken nuggets in the future. Many birthday parties are abounding in chicken nuggets. You do not have to make a big deal out of it, just as I raised my children with different values and foods, so be it for you at home. You may keep your son's devotion to vegetarianism or not but he will not resent you then either. Have a great day!

I'm fairly blunt with my three-year-old as to why we are vegetarian. We don't eat animals. Its better for the environment and saves energy. She understands the saving energy because I talk about it nearly daily. Everyone makes their own choices about what they eat/do and this is what we do in our house. The thing is, there are always going to be the things we do in our house and not in a friend's house. Not right or wrong, just personal choice.

Jen

Ah, we are in the exact same boat! My hubby and I are both vegetarians with the same philosophies. We told our daughter in the privacy of our home what meat is and why we don't want to eat it. (In very basic not-so-graphic terms) We wanted to be honest with her. We also told her it's a choice people make and that lots of people choose to eat animals and that it is everyone's right to make their own decisions.

She is now 5 yrs old and asks everyone if they eat meat or if they're vegetarians. She also asks everyone if what she is eating is vegetarian before she puts it in her mouth. (including things like brownies or gum - which makes my friends laugh). She has tried meat and thus far has not liked it. We allowed her to try it when she could articulate very clearly that she wanted to taste it. (probably around 3 or 4yrs old) We did the whole distraction thing as well until she began to ask questions.

We also have a 2 yr old son, but we haven't had to worry about explaining it to him yet. I always try to bring veggie options wherever I am so my kids don't feel left out. (veggie burger or veggie chicken nuggets) My daughter has always been fine as long as she has her own "special" plate. She is one who tends to follow yet she seems fine with the fact that she eats differently than most. Maybe because it's what we do in our home and it's normal? Maybe because both her parents are the same? Or maybe because she has a love for animals like we do and she doesn't want to eat them?

Ah, I have rambled long enough. I think you should sit down with your son and be honest with him. Just be sure to tell him that those who eat meat aren't bad, just different. It is probably best to educate him and answer all his questions at home so you don't have to feel awkward trying to explain it in front of those that eat meat. Since your son already brought it up, you might want to initiate the conversation when you have time.

Not sure if that helps, but it makes me happy to know that there are others out there like my family. :)

I like how you said it here... "meat goes from animals to food." It isn't any simpler or more accurate. My 3 year old son watches nature shows, prefers them to cartoons. These shows occasionally show larger animals killing and eating smaller animals. I am matter-of-fact about it. It is, afterall, nature.

I also found that the more I avoid answering his question, the more he presses about that one topic. It's as if he knows that I'm hiding something. Perhaps you can revisit the topic in private and talk about your reasons for being a vegetarian. I think you might be surprised at how much he understands. Be prepared for the "if so and so eats meat, are they bad people?" question. Our 3 year olds are simply trying to order their world, and they will trust our perspectives and explanations.

ps - taking a stand for ethical reasons isn't shameful. Why not talk about your beliefs to your son in front of your friends? It's a good opportunity for everyone present to experience what tolerance and accepting differences really means.

i wouldnt know how to explain it to a child that young. its hard to explain to them that you choose not to harm animals for food. but maybe try the morning star chicken nuggets (i believe they are soy) then maybe he will feel like he fits in.

This is your personal choice and I respect and applaude that. You shouldn't have to explain to your child why you say no. You are the parent. You are the boss. Especially in front of your meat eating friends.
If you want to explain your beliefs to your son at home (since he is now asking why he is different from his friends) then that is what you should do. Explain it in terms he can understand and on his level.
We have words we do not use in our house. They are bad words. We never use The Lord's name in vain- in any form even the texting version. We also don't say stupid, hate, etc.... these are not "cuss" words but they are not acceptable words in our house. We have many friends (and family) that use these words. If we are at someones house and a "bad word" is said- usually my kids say "we don't say that" but there have been times when they ask why we don't say that. If we are around others- i don't feel I have to explain my rules, thinking, etc to them or my children so I say because dady and I are the boss and we say you can't say that. Their mommy and daddy say it is ok for them- but it is not OK for you. Then at home we can get into the why of it. However- if it is in our home - my children will say to their friends "we don't say that" (That was one of my youngest daughters favorite lines for awhile!) then I will explain somewhat why and tell them it may be ok for them to say it in their house but please don't say it in our house. They are usually ok with it. Adults are a bit harder but I still say that. If it were food choices I would be the same way.
Hope this helps :)

I am not vegetarian, but I don't disapprove of it either. Basically I would handle it like you do with other things in your household....just explain that other people eat meat but your family doesn't. Just make sure you don't make the other people feel bad for eating meat, or let him think that other people or bad for doing so. As I mentioned earlier, I have nothing against it....only against those that try to make me feel bad for eating meat or trying to pressure me into becoming a vegetarian.

On the same note, we don't do snack foods such as chips and other junk food in our house but if we are at someone elses house and that is what they serve then I let my kids eat it. However, there are certain things that I don't let them have like soda and tea and when my daughter sees another child her age drinking some she will usually say she can't have it. Other times she will ask why they can have it and I just say that it is okay in their family but not in ours....just a choice we have made personally.

So....not sure if this helps. It's just another difficult parenting decision you will have to make. :-) Good luck!

In our house, my children and I are vegan, and my husband is vegetarian. Like a lot of the other moms (veg and not veg) we simply say what meat is without a lot of graphic detail. That has worked for us, and my kids don't want to eat meat (4 and 7). They do say things like, "We love animals. We don't want to eat them." We talk a lot about not hurting other people's feelings, too. So, we also say "Some people eat meat, some people don't. We don't."

I am not vegetarian but recently have limited/cut down on the meat I consume. For me it is purely a health reason I eat too much of it... maybe you can go along the lines of every family has their own eating habits and that our family has chosen to eat non-meat items for heath reasons or enivormental reason. Hopefully at least in front of other people you do not need to go into further details. If he asks at home you can simple tell him that for health reasons your family does not eat meat (if this is one of the reason why), that you and daddy are not big fans of eating meat because they once were alive animals (might freak him out not sure) and any other reason you have decided to not eat meat and you think is appropriate for a three year old (they can understand more then we think)... BUT also tell him that you respect other people choices in what they eat and every family eats different foods but we do not always need to eat the same thing. Maybe even do some research what other cultures eat (cultures that have a very different menu then here) to show your son that everyone around the world eats different things for their meals.

Sometimes I can satisfy my 3 year old's curiosity but sometimes I can not. Hope you find a way to satisfy his curiosity and his trying to understand the world/life around him :)

We aren't vegetarians either but my 3yr old wouldn't be satisfied with anything listed below. He would want a real reason and if everyone around is eating meat he would not accept it. So if you really aren't going to let the kids choose until they are seven then you might want to make friends, and playdates, with other vegetarians or invite them to your house for meals.