Everytime We Go to the Grocery Store My Son Screams to Hear Himself Echo!

My daughter used to talk very loudly in stores and we explained to her there are "indoor voices" that are softer and "outdoor voices" that can be a little louder and eventually after showing her to just talk softly (not stop doing it) she caught on. Good luck!

Take or buy a snack or treat and wait till he starts that yelling. Give him something he really enjoys and he will concentrate on for the rest of the trip. Good luck.

I have 4 kids. 2 13 yr old girls, a 5 yr old girl, and a 3 yr old boy. Both of the little ones have their times in the grocery every once in a while. I used to get all upset because people were intensely watching like I was a horrible mother. I would try so hard to get them to be quiet and the more I tried the louder they would get. I am 33 now and I have gotten to the point were it does not bother me. If they are crying because they want something (even if it is to leave) or crying because I disciplined them, I talk to them and that is it. They can cry. People look but so what. They look if you do nothing and they look if you discipline them. I have learned this from doing both. My kids have learned now that crying gets them no where unless they are hurt. If you overreact and give a big show it only makes them do it more. People around you should not be a factor as to what you do. Let him know that you have to use inside voices in the grocery. Even though he is 2 1/2 he will start to understand if you repeat it enough. I have also learned when you are a mom you become a parrot and could make a recording of all the lines you have to say.

Hi N.!
That makes me laugh. (: Just ignore the looks people give you! He's your son and if you don't have an issue with him hearing his echo, then let him do it. There is no rule that grocery stores are a quiet place!! My son can be loud at the grocery store also (doesn't sound like he is quite as loud as yours though but he's not trying to make an echo!) but I just talk to him while he's doing it and don't make a big deal out of it. Sometimes if he is being particularly loud, I will start to play a game with him - where is your nose? where is your ear? etc. But he is younger than yours so that may not work for you. One suggestion I have heard for grocery store distractions (which I have not tried) is to let your child have his own list and cross off the things as you put them in the cart. Or tell him "we're going to search for everything yellow today" (or everything that starts with a K or anything along those lines). I am sure it is just a phase and it will pass - and then you'll be on to the next thing!! Best of luck!
Cyndi

I laughed when I read this because my son did the same exact thing for the same exact reason...LOVED the echo. I would try to explain to your son before the next trip that screaming hurts our ears and te other people in the grocery store were sad. I would then find someplace with good echo potential that's more appropriate so he can experiment with the sound. We took our son with us to look at new houses being built. They usually have Open houses with NO realtors when it's a new subdivision being built Usually we could find one with an unfinished basement and GREAT echoes. We let him holler to his heart's content. It became a great activity for a few weekends. My husband and I could dream big about new houses and my son could get a little energy out.

Hope this helps!

You could also try practicing inside/outside voices on the way to the store, and then remind him on the inside, and then reward him for good behavior.

LOL...my 2 1/2 year old daughter does this sometimes at walmar...in the area between the 2 set of door as you enter the store. We just always make a commet such as, "It's fun to hear your voice sound like that isn't it?" Or, "listen to the cool echo your voice is making!" Don't make a big deal about it, he has learned something new...again! He will outgrow it as he gets a bit older and it doesn't hold the fascination as it does now. I assure you, it bothers you more than it does the other shoppers. I'd much rather hear a child screaming because he's having fun learning about himself and the world God made than to hear him screaming because of a temper tantrum.

I am all about consequences for bad bahavior, but in this case I say just laugh. He is just being a kid and not hurting a fly. ;) Write it in his baby book for one of those fun memories. Life is short!

*However, if you ask him to stop and he doesn't then you do need a type of consequence. If you really can't stand it, you could reward him every time he uses a normal voice in the store. Then he will associate the reward with the quiet voice.

Blessings,
Amanda

Don't feel badly about those others that have a disgusted look on their faces. Sometimes you just have to ignore other people and think to yourself "it doesn't matter how much noise this sweet little boy makes, he's just a baby". Really, don't even think about "them".....I was a domestic/international flight attendant for many many years, and remembering those poor parents of little one's who had to deal with the stares and comments from passenger's because their babies were screaming due to pain from cabin pressure in their ears. My biggest goal was to soothe the upset mom's and dad's, and help them relax and not worry about the noise their child was making. So, they can go their merry way in another isle if they need to avoid your son's "echo" screams! Relax...in about 10 years not only will you not hear him do that, he may not be talking to any adults. They grow up so fast! Hugs to you.

Hi N.,
I can't say I have been in your situation, but I will say all things pass and our children grow up so fast that one day you will love those memories of the screaming @ the store. Also it's not a libary so who says he has to be silent or quite? I would not let other people who are giving you those looks bother you. If they themselves have children than shame on them, they should understand what you are going through. With that said let me suggest you let him go more often and let him use what ever voice he wants and without a responce from you he just might not think it's fun anymore.
I might be wrong,but he won't act like that forever in the store so either just roll with it or make arrangments for him to stay home while you are shopping. I know thats not always easy or sometimes even possible but on those trips maybe you can run after what you need and save the longer trips for when you can go alone.
People really were telling the truth whn they said a child changes everything huh? lol!!

I wish you lots of luck,T.

The first advice I'd have is to try to forget other people's looks, hard as it may be! Either they don't have kids and therefore would be the most "perfect" parent in their own eyes or they forget what having a two year old is like!

For the screaming, it's probably a phase but you can try to bribe... I mean, reward him at the end of the trip with something special (like a Dollar Store toy or a lollipop) if he makes it through without yelling. Give him one warning if he starts and make sure to show him the prize for good behavior as a "carrot" to do well.

Another thought is to make sure he's not cold... sometimes the frozen food aisle can give a kid a wicked chill! He might be reacting to it... my daughter hates to buy ice cream because of that! Go figure!

At three, he probably won't want to attract so much attention, so you might just have to wait until then to take him on stress-free trips (but then he will likely be on to a new, frustrating phase that will change things up again! No matter what you hear, three year olds are even more challenging than the terrible twos in my opinion!) :-) Good luck!!!

you're not the only one... mine does it too. Its soooo annoying & the only thing I can do is cover his mouth & get in his face saying NO! We dont do that! INSIDE voice & it takes a few times but it usually stops him. I think a lot of kids go through this & its just something that you do what you can. lol as for the people... ya cant fix rude LOL

when people look at youweired they dont have kids or they dont rember i keepasking my kids are you done the more you try to get him to stop the worst it gets are youdone work for me kids will be kids and other people will just have to get over it

Ahhhh - you are not alone. My youngest turns three today and LOVES to do this same thing. It is anywhere he can tell there will be an echo. Public bathrooms are his favorite and since he is still in training stages of pottying - we are in one quite often. He also does this in the grocery store. I try and remind him that we are not the only ones there an we need to be considerate of others. It is a phase and this too, shall pass... best of luck!

All kids have meltdowns. This sounds too repetitive to be a meltdown. From the beginning of the store make it an adventure. Have him looking for fish, apples, birds, tomatos, etc. I spy style. I also have my five year old help grab things off of the shelf and hand them to his 18 mth old sister for her to put them into the cart. His job and her job. No sharing, but working together. Like a treasure hunt. He ONLY grabs what is on the list, sometimes I make him read it, and only when I tell them it's alright. These games are a privledge. If he wants big boy jobs he has to act okay. My daughter gets mad at him sometimes and she looses her job too as a consequence. I'm not big on candy treats so I carry tic tacs or something else small and give them one half way and one after checkout.If I'm going slow I may give them another if they are being good.

Hope this helps, J.

Hi N.,

I have a 10 month old that does the same thing..... I play with him but it's normally just like you say... I try getting him to do something productive with it like mocking what I do.... normally it works..... I think the discovery of the echo is great... you know you aren't a bad mom... and you know why he is doing it... who cares what others think... He is your little man !!! Good Luck!!

Sorry for yet another suggestion, but it may help!
Try ignoring him. Like most things, it is probably just a phase as embarrassing as it is for you. :) Don't give him any attention for it, or he may keep it up. Don't even look at him. He'll get bored with it eventually (may be weeks!)
Of course, duct tape helps too - hehe just kidding.

You said , "...as we go towards the frozen isle he starts screaming at the top of his lungs!" Does he do this in the same area every time or can it be anywhere in the store? If it's always near the frozen food section he might be cold and just not know any other way to express his discomfort.

You could try setting your cart aside and removing him from the store completely. Go to the car and ask him what is wrong. Explain to him that his behavior is inapropriate/unacceptable (you'll have to use language he understands)and tell him there will be a consequence for behaving badly. You'll have to decide what that will be as only you know what type of punishment (for the lack of a better word) he will respond to best.

When you use bribery, you're setting yourself up for more trouble. You're just teaching him different ways to get what he wants, and we usually begin with something that is easy for us...I'll give you a treat if you stop. Decide now what is and isn't acceptable to you, teach/tell him that and always follow with a consequence. Good behavior reaps good rewards, bad behavior reaps something else. You have to decide what those will be.

Kids don't come with a manual so most of us learn the hard way the first time around. If the first child was easy then a child with a different personality/needs/desires will require different tactics. Whatever your rules are though, make sure they arethe same for all of your children.

Relax. It's a phase that will pass. Don't give in to tantrums no matter how loud they get or how disgusted bystanders look. Meanwhile, shop by yourself for the next few months until it passes, and it will.

Hi N.,

I STRONGLY reccomend you start ignoring those who are giving you "dirty" looks. To hell with them, they are of no importance to you or your son's life. It sounds like your son is having a great time. Is he hurting himself or anyone else by doing this?-no.

J.

N., some of the responses you've gotten so far are spot on. He's a baby and still discovering his world. Experimenting with the sounds and echoes is normal and he should be able to enjoy it and explore it. But you do want to make sure that he understands the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior in various places and situations. At 2 1/2 he is old enough to understand the difference between right and wrong but, when you talk to him about it, it has to be in terms he can understand.

I've never been big on rewarding little ones with sweets and toys for proper behavior. It teaches them a monetary sense of self-worth and it's not really necessary. At that age (and for the rest of their lives, really) verbal praise and knowing you are proud of them is the best reward they can get. Then, when you take him to the park or zoo on the weekend, it is not tied to a particular event. It's just because, "You've been such a good boy this week and Mommy is so proud of you. I think we should go someplace fun. Do you want to go to ... today?"

I am adamantly opposed to any kind of corporal punishment unless a child is doing something that may endanger someone. Then a swat on a well padded butt is not out of line. Spanking children and pinching them and the like merely teach them that violence is acceptable behavior. That, of course, does not mean that you should "forgive and forget" inappropriate behavior. When they do something wrong, they need to know, in no uncertain terms, that they have done so. They have betrayed your trust and disappointed you. If you are in the grocery store and, after eliciting a promise of good behavior and using only his quiet "indoor" voice he continues to act out, don't be surprised if you have to remind him a couple of times. But, if, after a few reminders, he appears not to be taking his promise seriously, you have two issues to deal with. His immediate behavior and his learning about a sense of honor. It may be inconvenient for you for a while but let him know that if he violates his promise of good behavior again during the outing, you will have to leave. Then, if he starts shouting again, take your cart of groceries to the service desk, let them know that you have to leave and, if they will, have them hold your shopping until you can return without your toddler (with the exception of frozen foods, of course.) Pretty soon, two and a half will figure out the cause and effect and grow to understand that his behavior will determine if he gets to stay or not.

Now, as far as people glaring at you. Someday, what other people think will be critically important to your son's success in the world. He will, eventually, need to learn to respect other people's feelings and opinions. And even now is not too early to start teaching him that. But he is still just a baby and anyone who doesn't understand that has a small heart. Don't worry about them. If not your ds they would find something else to grumble about. So enjoy your son and don't worry about the momentary ire of a stranger.

And remember, follow your love for him. Be free in giving love to him. Never be afraid to tell him you love him. And, though in years to come he may get angry and shout things to break your heart, he will still love you and feel secure in your love. And that is what will give him the strength and courage to say things he doesn't mean. He will always know you love him.

Raising kids is never easy. I don't think it is supposed to be. (The little ones aren't the only ones learning!) The good times will always outweigh the bad times. So fasten your seatbelt and enjoy the ride.

... or you could just borrow Gretchen's duct tape!

N.,

I have a boy who just turned 4. He used to try all kinds of stuff out in public starting around your sons age. Since spanking these days is out in public - people look at you because your child is acting out and then they look at you when you choose to discipline them sternly. You simply can't win when trying to please people in public. I've learned a very easy and simple trick for obedience in public. I grab and pinch of skin on the inside upper thigh of my son's leg. I've only had to pinch him a couple times, before he learned to straightened up. Now, all I have to do is put my hand there when I'm holding him, and he immediately behaves. That way no one even knows you are discipling him. He'll get it real quick who's boss. It's his choice. He's learned he has to straighten up or face the consequence. If you think reasoning with a 2 1/2 year old is going to work, it will be a long hard road to haul. My son also has a blanket he loves to sleep with. When he really gets out of line, he has to sleep with out it. He's only been without it twice.

Good luck.

A.

My son turned 3 in April and for the past year he has been doing the same thing. Everytime we go to the store he screams as though he is very frightened, he will let me go into Walmart but only for a few minutes then he begans to scream if we are not at the check out or leaving the store, it very hard when the best time to get your shopping for the family done is during the day. Try to talk to your pediatrician.