Dropping the Nighttime Feeding

Updated on April 13, 2010
J.E. asks from Middleton, WI
17 answers

I have been BF since my daughter was born. She is now 5/12 months old and is 95% percentile for height,weight,etc and the doctor has said that her nighttime feeding is unnecessary at this point- that she should be able to go all night (up to 12 hours) and that the reason she is still waking around 4am for a feeding is out of habit. Does any one have some good suggestions for how to accomplish this? I've heard that just letting her know I am there and letting her cry a bit will help her get through that feeding in a couple of days. I wouldn't mind sleeping a full night at this point, either. Any suggestions would be helpful! Thanks....

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A.R.

answers from Duluth on

She may be waking to feed out of habit, but DR'S AREN'T TRAINED IN NUTRITION!!!! Please think about that. I had dr's telling me to give my 4 month old whole milk, and to start weaning her at that age. You need to decide if she "needs" to be night weaned for you or not. My 8 month old still eats 4 times a night. BF babies need to eat more often than FF babies because BM is easier on their tummy's, so it digests faster. As far as CIO, the experts in the field say that 6 months old is the MINIMUM age to be doing it. But even Ferber has said that if he knew then (when he came up with the Ferber method) what he knows now, he would NEVER recommend a parent let their child CIO because of the mental implications and hormone problems it can cause.

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B.O.

answers from Portland on

Everything that I have read about BFing and nighttime nutrition says that it is after six months nighttime feedings are not nutritionally needed. Most doctors are not clinically trained in the nutritional aspects of BFing, only formula feeding. I would wait a few more weeks and then try to soothe her back to sleep in other ways.

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

thank you for breastfeeding!!
what you need to do is get in contact with a local or nearby la leche league group or leader.
your doctor is giving you poor information. the nighttime feed is NOT unneccesary. there is no such thing as she "should" go all night. your child is who she is, and she has her own needs. my son was one of those "high needs" babies. nothing wrong with him, he just demanded and required more than laid back babies. he would not accept substitutes. he nursed until he self weaned at 20 months, and we had him sleeping in the same room as us, usually in his crib but we did our fair share of bedsharing as well. he nursed at night until between 15-17 months.

fact of the matter is that her tummy is TINY and shes doing a LOT of growing! babies triple their weight in the first year. now, that actual amont of weight might not seem like a whole lot to you, but you try tripling your weight in a year; you will have to eat a lot and often! this also helps reduce the risk of SIDS because she is waking so often

the 4 am feeding is not habit; its something she needs. her tummy is empty. shes just going to lie there and scream and figure out you wont respond to her if you go that route. not exactly a trust building exersize.

so get ahold of a local la leche league leader. you will not regret it. look up information on their website; www.llli.org. also another good resource is www.askdrsears.com.

this is normal, more common than we think, and its horrible that doctors are giving the impression that babies should sleep perfectly through the night at such a young age. fact is that babies dont and shouldnt sleep like adults. and if you think about it, how many adults do you know that sleep all night? how many times do you get up and go to the bathroom, get a drink, or turn over and get comfortable at night? chances are you wake up just as often as she does.

bedsharing might help. contrary to the general public's ideas, its safer than you think, and you both will get a lot more sleep. you have to be ultra aware of the blankets and pillows on your bed, make sure that nothing gets in her face. when i did it, i was always very aware of where my son was on the bed, where the pillow was, blankets, etc. i never had a problem. and i got so much sleep!!

anyway, i want to encourage you and tell you that you are doing the right thing, and you are doing just fine. follow your instincts, throw the doctors information out the window (obviously the doc either doesnt support breastfeeding, doesnt know enough about it, or didnt do it themselves...)
la leche leauge leaders have breastfed their babies for at LEAST a year (usually longer) and they will have information that will be so helpful in your breastfeeding journey. trust me, you will NOT regret listening to the advice and information they will have for you. and trust yourself. you know what your child really needs deep down inside, its you, your milk, and your love and trust and all of that. she doesnt "need" to sleep through the night, she doesnt "need" to wean, and she doesnt "need" to be "perfect". she just needs to be who she is with her own needs and stuff. :) and thats going to ensure that your little girl grows up to be the best happiest she can possibly be

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D.D.

answers from Denver on

I agree with those who suggest that you NOT try to eliminate this feeding. My son was ten months old before he gave up his last middle of the night feeding. I nursed at about 10:30 before I went to bed, and then again around 1:30 am. He would sleep then until 5:30.

I think that the "western" approach of trying to have an infant sleep through the night, and reduce his/her natural body callings for food is very problematic.

I know you are tired, and I can honestly relate, but it won't be forever.

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

5 1/2 months is still pretty young to wean the nightime feeding. Cry it out method isn't usually prescribed by pediatricians or most child psychologists until the baby is around 8-9 months old.

Good luck, the 12 hours is standard for some kids, but unthinkable for others.

When I got up to nurse early in the morning, I nursed in bed and baby and myself fell asleep. So much easier that way.

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H.H.

answers from Hartford on

wow, 12 hours, my LO still cant do that and she is 15 mo old. we had a very rough time w/ her bc she woke up every hour until she was 14 mo...then I was finally able to night wean her. I liked the suggestions given by elazebeth pantly in the no cry sleep solution, you would be fine just to read the section on nursing. For me it worked really well bc she was old enough to understand that she would not be able to nurse. I told her mommas milk was sleeping and she needed to sleep too, i offered her cows milk for the first three days and then she was fine and did not need it. I dont know how to do it w/ childrne that young so good luck and you will love it it will be wonderful to sleep a bit more again!

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A.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

My 7 1/2 month old still wakes up occasionally at 4 am or 5 am. In fact, last night was the first night he hasn't in a long time. Since he sleeps in the room with his older brother, I have to get him up and put him in the pack n play in our room so he won't wake up the older one. I don't feed him at that point, I just take him from one bed to the other. Usually, I can lay him down and he goes right back to sleep. Sometimes, he cries for a little bit, but eventually settles down. So, my thinking is that you might be able to go in there to her at first, and pat her back, then leave the room. You're going to have to let her fuss a bit, so if it's hard, just watch the time. Give yourself at least 5 minutes at first and even try to go back to sleep if you can. If you give her time, she'll learn how to self soothe. They do get into habits, so your doctor's right! However, if she just can't go back to sleep no matter how much time you give her, maybe she really does need to eat! Babies do know best, right?

Good luck,
Amy K

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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

Here's what my husband and I did with our son, who was about 5 1/2 months at the time. When we did this he was waking two to three times per night to nurse. I started reducing the amount of time he nursed every night ( you could do every other night if you would prefer, it will just take a bit longer) So if you have been nursing for 6 minutes, only offer 5 1/2 minutes of nursing tonight. When there are multiple feedings per night, you also increase by 15 minutes per night, the amount of time between feedings. So you would do 5 minutes of nursing every 4.25 hours tomorrow, 4 1/2 minutes every 4 1/2 hours the next night, and so on. We found this method in Dr. Richard Ferber's book (which made a lot of sense to me, you may want to try reading it to see what you think), and it worked really well for us. According to the book, most kids stop waking to eat before you can reduce them down to nothing, my son stopped waking to feed after 4 or 5 nights. I thought a gradual approach was better than just trying to quit cold turkey, which seemed pretty awful to me.
Also, make sure when you go in to feed him, you keep it as utilitarian as possible, no lights, no conversation, just nurse and back to bed. You want to show him that nighttime is for sleeping.
Best of luck!

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Wow, hardly anyone I know goes 12 hours without eating, at any age! Breastfed babies need nighttime feedings longer - up to 9-12 months. My daughter breastfed at least once a night (usually around 1:00 am) until 12 months. Babies wake up because they are hungry. I didn't ask or listen to a doctor's advice about how to feed my baby, they are not trained in nutrition, they are trained in how to deal with illness. Your baby is healthy and happy, please consider meeting her needs for a while longer. They really do grow up fast!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Whether or not you take the Pediatricians' advice, is up to you.

On the other hand, OUR Pediatrician says that for the 1st year of life, a baby's PRIMARY source of nutrition is breastmilk or Formula...and to feed ON-demand. Because for the 1st year of life, this is a building-block period for a baby and feeding on demand is essential for the 1st year.

Also, to take away feedings... when a baby is hitting a growth-spurt... is bad timing. Growth-spurts occur every 3 months. Your baby... will be 6 months soon and this is a growth-spurt time.... and that means that intake needs increases.

I don't know of any baby, that will without fail... sleep for 12 hours straight. Every night, without fail.

If a baby is hungry... genuinely hungry... they will wake/cry/not be able to sleep. Crying it out...works because eventually the baby just gives up... and it is a learned response to inattentiveness. That is the "habit" a baby learns... therefore it does not bother waking up... because he/she knows no one will come. Even if hungry.

I am sorry, but I thoroughly DISagree with your Pediatrician.

I have 2 kids... and I nursed on-demand for the first year... and also went by my child's cues for comfort/needs/growth spurts/developmental changes. And they slept just fine and normally for a baby...

Crying it out... or scheduled feedings etc., are created for the Parent... NOT the baby. It is for the parent's needs. Not baby's.

Keep in mind, that "sleeping through the night" for a baby, means sleeping about 5-6 hours straight. And your baby seems to be doing that. I say.. your baby IS a good sleeper. Sleeping through the night... is NOT according to adult standards.

I recommend the book "What To Expect The First Year", which you can find at any bookstore or online.

My kids were in the 98th+ percentile since they were born... and they did NOT sleep through the night at that age, and they woke lots more than your baby is... and they got hungry. My kids, had GINOURMOUS appetites when they were a baby. I nursed on demand 24/7. I did not get sleep. This is a rite of Passage for the Parent. This is normal baby stuff.
And, a baby's appetite changes each day... just like an adult.

Our baby is ONLY 5.5 months old.

All the best,
Susan

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V.G.

answers from Portland on

I don't understand why you would want to eliminate the nighttime feeding. She's THRIVING with what you're giving her- why suddenly take that away from her?
Having a baby isn't easy, and it takes nights waking up to feed them. Its what we do for our babies.
Please reconsider eliminating it. Too often we force our babies into "growing up", and then before you know it you're 80 years old thinking, "Where has the time gone? My baby grew up so fast".

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L.B.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

I nursed my first until she was 3 1/2 years old and now I'm just over 2 months in with my second child. I would not take that advice if I were given it. As a matter of fact I would probably find a ped who was more breastfeeding friendly. He should be encouraging you to nurse as much as possible, not telling you to wean, especially not at 5 1/2 months.
At 6 months you start solid foods. You can skip the cereal and move right to fresh, mushed fruit like bananas. It should only be supplementing your nursing, not replacing it. Nutritionally little one can still continue to get 98% of their nutrition from you. As you introduce new foods the little one will start backing off the nursing. Truth be told, my daughter got most of her nutrition from me until she was 9 or 10 months old. By that point she was getting enough solid food that she was replacing feeds.
Breastfeeding is not formula feeding! They are not the same and should not be treated the same. Continue to feed over night. If you need a break, pump a bottle and ask your husband/partner to give the bottle for you so you can get some sleep. Your little one may need that overnight feed for quite a while! It's normal! Enjoy it while you have it because it doesn't last long!

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L.A.

answers from Tulsa on

I BF my son, who is now 10 1/2 mo old. He did sleep through the night for a while, but then after getting very sick, started waking up at 2 am and 6 am (in January). After he was well, I wanted to wean him off the 2 am, so we started having my husband give him a bottle, decreasing the amount every couple of nights. We started with 2 1/2 ounces of expressed milk and slowly went down. He started sleeping through the 2 am feeding when we were at 1/2 ounce. I stayed out of the room as if he saw or smelled me, he would want to nurse.

If you have a partner or husband, and you want to wean off the night feeding, I would suggest you have the other person care for the baby when she wakes up.

However, as the other posters said, your daughter is only 5 1/2 mo old and her primary nutrition should be from breastmilk, even up through a year if you continue to nurse. I wouldn't worry about the night feeding unless it's exhausting you and you need the sleep. Otherwise, I don't see the harm in letting her continue with it for now.

Also know that as she teeths and goes through growth spurts she may go through times of waking up at night to nurse, whether for comfort or out of hunger.

Goo luck!

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

When my twins were nursing, around five months was when I really felt they no longer needed the nighttime feeding. When one would wake up, I would get him and rick him back to sleep. Sometimes it worked, sometimes one would root and I'd feed him, but after a few weeks we didn't really have much of an issue anymore.

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A.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

My daughter is almost 6.5 mo old and still nurses once around 5am, sometimes twice. Its normal. My son who is 3 slept all the way through right after 6 months, which was great, but this girl is chunkiier and a nursing addict :) Its ok to let them eat. A lot of babies are still eating more ofthen then that during the night, so for one feeding I am grateful. Plus I pump the other side during that feeding to make a bit extra for while I am at work and can't make enough.

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H.L.

answers from Milwaukee on

I don't think there's any harm in seeing if she'll go without the 4am feeding - there are plenty of breastfed babies that sleep through the night at even younger ages. My oldest did when he was 6 months old, but that's after he finally learned to fall asleep on his own (he'd get up 3-5 times a night between 4 1/2- 5 1/2 months of age and he definitely wasn't THAT hungry). Try doing what you normally would do to get your daughter to sleep without feeding, or I've heard of gradually shortening the time on the breast too. That said, my youngest has been a great sleeper since he was 2 months old but still got up to eat at 4-5am until he was closer to 9 months (and would still wake up around then on some nights until about 11 months). I thought the easiest option was just to get up and nurse him - 10 minutes later we're both back to sleep. Oh, and my babies were huge too :-)

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L.C.

answers from Madison on

Ell just a couple weeks ago I askEd my doctor this about my BF 10 mo old and she said that while theoretically they don't need the nighttime feeding, most fully BF babies don't drop it until their first birthday so chill and wait it out and consider yourself lucky your only up once a night. Maybe your doctor is more familiar with formula fed babies whose nighttime needs are different? Anyways that's another angle on it.

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