Does Anyone Elses Husband Work a 2Nd Job??

Talking to your husband about the stress is very helpful however if you know that it is not feesable to change jobs for him right now then don't put that presure on him. Talking it out does help. With summer coming ... hang in there. It will be nice to have certain outdoor activities to get involved in. When we first had our children my husband worked nights as well. It was hard because I felt like a single parent. I had a couple of mother helpers (8-12) that cam over to play with the kids, or sometimes just one child so that I could give some attention to the others. The nice thing about that is you don't have to pay them much and you are always there. Schedule some play dates that bring you and some other adults into some adult time. The last piece of advice I have is in the fall look into ECFE (Early Childhood Family Education). As president of the ECFE Board in New Prague's school district I see first hand those that really benefit from the outings and connections. They offer sliding scale rates based on income, if you are unable to pay they still want you to experience the classes. If you are not sure that it is for you, they will let you observe a class and see if your child would be a good fit. Talk with the director and see how they might help you.
Childcare is offered for those that need it as well while you are in class with the other child.
Hope you find something that works... motherhood is one of the greatest gift. God Bless.
L.

Maybe he can find something that doesn't pay as well in 1st shift and he pick up another job from 5-8 to help bring in extra money?

Can you find additional work or crafts to bring in more money if he switched to a less paying 1st shift job?

How about you work the same schedule and find evening daycare?

Have you considered changing your schedule so you work 1st shift outside the home while the kids are in daycare until say 5pm?

Something has to give and you have to decide whether it'll be the money or you staying home. Staying home is not easy but it appears that you have a great set-up. You both work and you get to stay home with them.

Things change and you didn't foresee how you'd handle this when you had kids. It's normal to feel how you do. You can accept your situation as a blessing or you can change your schedule or job or he can.

Hi K.,

Is it possible for your husband to go to 3rd shift??? I know that he would have to sleep during the day then, which would take him awhile to get use to, but then he would be there in the evenings to help take care of the three children and give you time to do your work, also. It would take some adjustments for all of you, but might be a better schedule in the end. This way he could also attend school activities for the oldest child.

Just an idea.

C.

I don't think it's reasonable to think that you can work AND watch all 3 of your kids at night, especially a baby. No wonder you are stressed!

My husband works 2nd shift, on the weekends. It definitely has it downside, but it is a steady, reliable job, and for that I am grateful. All shifts have their downside: if you work first, you are stuck in traffic and have to wake up early. If you work third, you never get enough sleep. Being on second certainly cuts into one's social life.

Can your husband use a little vacation time to go to your kids' school events?

It sounds like your husband changing jobs or shifts is not an option right now, so what can you do differently with your job? Can you start your job a little later in the day? Can you hire a neighbor girl or someone to come in for a couple of hours each evening, to help? Can you get a different job, working during the day before your husband goes to work?

My husband has worked in the construction business for more than 12 years. That arena of work is very unpredictable because we NEVER know what his schedule will be like the next day, or when he will be getting off work today. It's hard to cope or even plan anything for more than 24 hours ahead of time, and even then, I'm always telling people, "It depends on when my husband gets home from work". In the summer months, he works many times, from 4 am til 10pm Mon-Sat. It's like he has a 2nd job and we NEVER see him, but appreciate the times we do get to spend time with him, like rain-days or Sundays. Over the years, I have learned to become a single parent in the summer months and come October/November, he's ready to call it quits and we begin to get on each others nerves, but we make it through every year, as long as we know what to expect and that those months are hard for us...as we've both reached the end of our rope with frustration. I get sick of doing EVERYTHING around the house and he gets sick or working NON-STOP. I guarantee that he hates it as much as you do so don't be too h*** o* him, he's doing it for the love of his family. I've learned a few tricks to cope while he's working alot.

- Hire a sitter (even family) once in a week, even for an hour to get out of the house on your own, even if it's for running an errand. It's amazing how that time by yourself makes you feel normal again and you can look forward to it everyday, especially on those hard days.
- Have your older kids help with some of the chores, like the trash and putting away the dishes. etc.
- Appreciate the freedom you get with raising your kids the way YOU want...it's all YOUR calendar...because, in a small way, you've just become a single parent, at least temporarily. This temporary mind-set will help you cope with taking everything in the house on yourself.
- Get a small pool for your yard...this will take up some time for the kids this summer when it's HOT. They'll be busy playing in the pool, while you can mow the yard or do some yard care, and still keep your eyes on the kids.
- While the kids are playing outside...ejoy that time outside yourself. Put a little sunscreen on and layback and read a magazine. You don't have to spend 100% of the time tending to your children if they are busy entertaining themselves. Take the 10-15 minutes when you can and close your eyes in the sun. :)
- Preplan your meals for the week, and always include a leftover night and a pizza night. That will take your mind off of cooking at least twice and that is a fun treat. I do Pizza night on Fridays (and most often, it's frozen or we make it at home) and I look forward not having to think about what to make.
- I've also declared Friday night, 'Movie Night, so children are occupied for at least 1 hour for me to read a magazine, do bills, or take a bath.
- Keep your kids on a schedule during the week to give you the much needed peace time at night everyday. That's important.

Good luck with these tips...I hope some of them work for ya. And,...don't look down on the fact that your hubby is working alot...there are possitives to the situation...so concentrate on those instead. :) The added money is always a benefit.

Hi K.
My husband works 2nd shift also and it a can be very stressful. To run kids to there activities and keep up on everything else we need to do. Is there any way you can work in the mornings before he goes to work? or maybe hire a high school girl to come a few days a week to play with the kids well you get somethings done they are usually very willing to help and a pretty cheap. Does your husband have the option to go to midnights. usually they make alittle more money and it would mean he would be able to spend time with all the kids well you got some work done in the evening. Good luck and hang in there hopfully something will change soon. :)T.