Depression - Adams,MA

Updated on September 21, 2011
L.P. asks from Adams, MA
21 answers

Hi Everyone!

I suffer from depression, which has been fairly well controlled with Wellbutrin for a few years now. Lately though (the last couple of months), I've been struggling with it more. But today was worse than usual. I spent nearly twenty minutes crying, and feeling like I'm failing everyone. Those guilt feelings that I'm not doing quite enough for anyone. I've been feeling pretty over-whelmed lately and just can't seem to get my act together. I even feel guilty for being depressed- because, really I don't have it so bad. I have a great husband, who is my best friend. I have 4 healthy wonderful kids. Sure, money is tight, but we have everything we need.

For those of you who also suffer from depression, have you ever needed to change medications after being on one for this long? I'm also wondering if what I have is actually Atypical depression. Do any of you have that kind of depression? If so, what advice can you give me?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! TIA!!!

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So What Happened?

Marda- yes, I'm waaaay over-sensitive. That's primarily what made me wonder if that's what I have. Also my mood can improve if something positive happens. This past weekend, for example, we got away to RI, and I felt really good. Hearing my 3yo DD singing to herself can make me smile too.
GirlUndone77- thanks, I'll look into that- never thought of that before :)
CoffeeMama- Thanks for the book suggestions- they definately sound like they could be helpful. Therapy may be a possibility in a couple of years when my 3yo starts kindergarten.

Wow! Thank you ALL for your thoughtful replies!!!


Featured Answers



answers from Provo on

I do not suffer from depression and I am sorry that you do!! I have a friend who suffers from depression and it is very hard for her. She takes Paxil. I do know that with many medications after you have taken them for a while they tend to lose effectiveness because the body gets used to them. I just want to tell you that when my friend exercises in addition to her medication it does make quite a difference.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Eugene on

I do not take medications of any kind. But I do take 5,000 units of vitamin D every day so I stay above the emotionally depleted line. In winter I used to have SAD. Not since vitamin D and full spectrum lights have I had any of it.

1 mom found this helpful

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answers from Denver on

Switching meds can help-
sometimes doses stop working- changing your dose could help too.

another thing to try may be an elimination diet-
I know it sounds weird- but all the synthetic, unnatural stuff in food
now-a-days can impact hormones, chemicals, weight, etc.

I might recommend for you to read Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon, and to talk to a homeopathic dietician about the paleo diet, GAPS, or an
elimination diet.

Our bodies are so much more delicate than we realize, and modern
food is truly taking its toll on our minds and bodies.

Best wishes-
(btw- I suffered from depression and anxiety for 19 years. I changed my diet and my life changed.)

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

Body chemistry changes. It could even change after you have children. Go to the doctor and get on new meds. I do not suffer from depression but my fiancee does. I have a close friend that also has it and had to go through with changing her meds recently. Do not feel guilty,take care of yourself so you will feel better.god bless

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

My closest cousin suffers from depression.

She has had to have her dosage adjusted after a few years--they didn't change the Rx, but did adjust. It's not Wellbutrin, but maybe you can ask your doc?

Depression is not a case of needing to hear "Chin up, Deary!" or "Look around & be thankful for the blessings in your life!", is it? No--not at all. It's a medical condition and a chemical imbalance in the brain.

Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

I'm truly sorry!! i have a couple of friends that suffer from's very hard to deal with....

I am sure you aren't failing ANYONE...don't let anyone tell you otherwise and when that nasty voice raises it head in your brain - push it away!!! Look around and see all the good you have in your life - your wonderful husband, your beautiful kids....

I know my GF who has it - has had to try several different meds - 3 months at each one and they finally found one that works for her...but it took almost a year to get there...she is also coupling the medication with counseling to help her "compartmentalize" her feelings of sadness..
I'm sending you BIG HUGS!!! You are NOT alone...

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Honolulu on

Is it maybe, hormonal based? Hormone imbalance etc.
That can seem, like Depression too.
And has many of the same symptoms.

You could also try seeing a Natruropath Doctor.

Getting off of the meds, needs supervision too. Just stopping cold, could be really not good.
The body has to be gradually, taken off of it, sometimes.

Ask your Doctor. Or see a Specialist.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

I've been on anti-depressant medication off and on for 20+ years and have had to change numerous times. I'm in the midst of trying to find one that works, again.

I don't know what you mean by atypical depression. Didn't know there was such a thing. With this definition, I'd say we don't have enough info to say whether or not your depression is atypical.

Here's its definition: " Atypical depression (AD) is a subtype of dysthymia and major depression, sharing many of the symptoms of both, but also being characterized by mood reactivity—being able to experience improved mood in response to positive events. In contrast, sufferers of "melancholic" depression generally cannot experience positive moods, even when good things happen. Additionally, atypical depression is characterized by reversed vegetative symptoms, namely over-eating and over-sleeping, and separately by interpersonal rejection sensitivity." from Wikipedia

Despite its name, "atypical" depression is actually the most common subtype of depression[1][2]—up to 40% of the depressed population may be classified as having atypical depression.

I'd say I have atypical depression. I eat more, sleep more, am happy when happy things are going on around me even when depressed.

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answers from San Francisco on

Dear L.,

Please don't feel guilty and there's nothing wrong with a good cry unless it's happening all the time. I lost my little dog in January, he was 16 years old and I still cry about it, especially when I see other people walking their dogs or even a commercial on tv. I'll adopt another pet in the future, but right now I miss my Frankie.

You have four children that must keep you pretty busy. Do you take some time for yourself each day? Do you pray or meditate? Are you getting any exercise? What is it that makes you feel that you are failing everyone? Are you kids old enough to help you around the house and if not, is there a friend or family member that can?

I would definitely call your doc and see what he/she thinks.

I'm happy for you that you have a good husband. Please take care of yourself. You and your family will be in my prayers.


1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I had to add an additonal medicine. For me, Welbutrin stopped the crying over every coca cola or maxwell house commercial, but I was still sleeping around the clock. They added Lexapro and I was right as rain.

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answers from Columbus on

If you had a broken ankle, you wouldn't feel guilty about it, right? That is a health concerns that you can't control and that needs to get taken care so that you're healthy and can enjoy life, right? Well, having a mental health issue is just that -- a health issue. You would never choose to be depressed, so if you can, please stop beating yourself up because everyone who knows and loves knows that you wouldn't choose this to feel this way or have this health issue.

What is your choice is this: Doing things to try to get back on track and back to feeling normal/good. A big one is to call the your psychologist/psychiatrist/family doc and let them know that you're experiencing worsening symptoms, despite being on meds. Ask for an appointment asap to go in and see/talk with the doctor and see about options, like changing meds or adjusting dosage. etc.

Other things you can do, which can help (but seeing the doc is probably most important):
* eating a good healthy diet with lots of veg & fruit & whole grains
* adding an omega fatty acid supplement to your diet (mercury free fish oil) - in studies, this has shown good signs in actually treating mild depression
* exercise, even just going for a walk every day, can really help
* if there are stressful things going on in your life, doing what you can to minimize it, whatever that might be

I don't personally have issues with clinical depression but a very close friend of mine does, and she has had unipolar depression (depression, no mania) and she has had to change meds several times over the years.

She's been struggling with this since her teens, and it seems (at least to me) that her worst periods were during hormonal upheavals and/or extreme stress (puberty, post pregnancy, several episodes when her children were little, and when she hit menopause). In some cases, it took a couple of months before the right med combo was found and in place, and she did have to switch a few times in terms of dosage and types/brands.

Hang in there and I hope you are back to feeling yourself again very very soon!!!! (hugs)

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answers from Spokane on

I too have depression and have had to change medications or even up the dosage of the med I am currently on to help manage my depression. If the increased feelings of guilt have lasted longer than a few weeks and nothing out of the ordinary has changed that would correspond with the change in your mood I would suggest talking with your doctor about a possible med change or dosage change. Furthermore I wouldn't say you have atypical depression as what you are describing is quite normal and common symptoms of depression. Hang in there! Feel free to send me an email if you want to chat further.

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answers from Redding on

I think you need to talk to your doctor further about this because what many people don't realize is that anxiety disorders can go hand in hand with depression. Anxiety can even be mistaken for depression.
Thoughts of feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelming fatigue or inability to sleep, feelings of guilt you can't explain. Crying doesn't always equal depression. I know for me, when things get bad, I cry because it's a release from all the things I shoulder as a single mother who has way too much on her plate. I am not profoundly sad. I am a pretty optimistic and upbeat person, I am pretty good about trying to uplift others who are having a tough time, but thoughts can creep in. Worries can creep in.
I had a doctor who put me on anti-depressants and the result was horrible. I ditched that doctor. I told him the medicine made me feel really sick and he told me to just keep taking it until it got better.
I found a good doctor who realized straight away that I'm not depressed.
The only way I can describe it is feeling like I'm in fight or flight mode all the time and that it's very urgent that I choose one or the other in any given situation.
I have learned how not to let those feelings take me over completely.
I take a low dose anti anxiety medication when needed. I don't even need it every day. I avoid cold medications which agitate me horrifically, I limit my caffeine intake. I make sure to always have something to snack on so my blood sugar stays fine.
I would just talk to your doctor. I really would. And, remember that having a bad day and a crying jag in and of itself doesn't have to be symptomatic of anything.
I had a good cry last night when I went to bed because my baby turned 16 yesterday and I don't know where the time went so quickly. I couldn't ask for a better son. I'm so proud of him I could burst. My tears weren't about sadness. It was just an outpouring of emotion.
We all have days where we think we might have failed in some way, might have said something we shouldn't, might not have done something we wish we'd done. I think it kind of comes with the territory once we have kids.
If the possibility of anxiety has never been addressed, it might be something for you to think about and mention.
I know everything made sense for me after that revelation and I fare pretty well understanding what it's about.

I wish you the best.
Don't forget to give yourself a break. You have so much to be happy for. Focus on the positives as much as possible.


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answers from New London on

I've never dealt with it but I have family members who have and it's sad to see. I agree with the person that asked about hormones. Have you ever had your hormone levels tested? If not, you should definitely ask a doctor about getting it done. Like I said, I don't have depression but used to have severe mood swings like happy to angry in .5 seconds and would yell and was awful! I started taking a bio-identical hormone cream and it made a tremendous difference! I hate the mom that I was becoming b/c I was angry so much and now I feel like I'm such a better mom and wife. Hormones effect us is so many ways that we fail to realize. Most of us think we are fine as long as we get regular periods...but that is not the case. I think the statistic is about 80% of women are imbalance by the time we are teens b/c of all the hormones we come into contact with in our foods and what not. It's definitely something to look into. There's a book called Hormone Balance Made simple by Dr. Lee that is a good book to read. I wish you the best of luck!

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answers from Las Vegas on

I've suffered from depression on and off for years. at times, worse than others points in my life. I have never taken prescription drugs for it (my choice) but have found ways to better deal with it over the years. More recently, Omega oils (in my case, I take Dr. Mercola's Krill Oil) Also, for the last couple of years I had begun to experience more anxiety and claustrophobia. nothing was working, by that I mean traditional therapy, meditation... Then I went to a hypnotherapist who uses what they call EFT (emotional freedom techniques) you can look them up on << it's a free site. anyway, so I went to her and we did what they call "tapping" basically you tap different meridian points on your body (like acupuncture) well at first I was skeptical of this tapping and how it was going to remove my anxiety (which for me, was also linked to my depression) however, after a few sessions and then mostly my doing it on my own, I have begun to notice a BIG difference. example.. when I would ride public transportation, eventually about mid-way thru, I would need to get off because I would begin to feel anxious and get this closed in feeling.. well, I began to practice the tapping and now.. I have ridden public trans over 10 times and I have not needed to get off.. sounds so simple, but take it from someone who was a VERY anxious person, the tapping has helped. you can use the method for depression and just about anything. I recommend going to a practitioner first, this way they can explain it in person. then try it out on your. even has some info on EFT and shows exercises for it..
give it a try. it may help you.. it did me.

I wish you the best

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answers from Boston on

I've dealt with depression for many years and I understand the feelings that you are failing everyone. But you're not - it's a chemical imbalance, first of all, so if you don't have your act together, it's not your fault. Secondly, the condition changes how you view things so sometimes (often) your perspective on how you are "failing" or others' reactions is really skewed. So when our kids gripe about what we cooked for dinner or how we're wacko moms, sometimes it's just the kids spewing off and not really anything we did - we just react to it as if we are failures.

Medications have their place but they don't work for everyone. In fact, a recent report (maybe 6 months ago) said that many of these meds work better for people with severe depression, and have minimal effect on those with moderate or mild depression. Sometimes changing them can work, sometimes not. There's a certain amount of experimentation involved but if yours isn't working, it's not working. I needed to change, for example, because my first anti-depressant also had a sedating effect - that might work for some people, particularly with an anxiety component, but it just made me more tired and sleepy, and less able to get anything done, which of course made me feel like dirt. So a change might be in order for you. Don't beat yourself up that you should be grateful for what you have (husband, kids, etc.) - yes, you probably should, but that's not the cause of your depression and you cannot talk yourself out of it by making yourself feel worse!

I agree that a lot of things in our food supply disrupt our bodies - processed foods, even fresh foods picked weeks ago and shipped in a container have a lot fewer nutrients than they did a generation ago when more farming was local and seasonal. I disagree that a particular vitamin will make a difference. Vitamins are not meant to be taken in isolation from other vitamins and minerals and trace elements. Also, pills are absorbed about 17-25% so they are generally a large waste of money.

I do know people who have done elimination diets, but they are complicated and a real nuisance. The problem is not really that we are "allergic" to certain foods but that we lack the necessary tools to process them completely, and the unprocessed or uneliminated portions. As a nutritional consultant over the years, I've learned that adding in a comprehensive formula of balanced nutrients can make all the difference. Not only can people eat the foods they enjoy, but they can reduce their depression. I had phenomenal results and have, with my doctor's cooperation and blessing, reduced my antidepressant meds and I feel much much better with more energy to work out, more clear thinking to accomplish tasks, and more joy in life. I'd be happy to help you too.

But this situation in which you find yourself is not something of your making - it's really a condition that can be corrected in one of several ways, or a combination.

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answers from Los Angeles on

Have you gotten therapy for your depression? When I was in college (I majored in psychology) my college professor always talked about how important it was for people to also get therapy to try and help with their depression, in addition to taking the medication. Maybe talking to a therapist can help you deal with the negative thoughts that are always running through your head. I am the exact same way, and I was diagnosed with dysthymia a few years ago (low-grade, chronic depression: not bad enough to be suicidal, but still hindering everyday life). But I'm not on any medication, because the side effects were too severe for it to be worth it for me. When I can afford it, I plan on trying therapy to see if it helps.

Anyway, cognitive behavioral therapy is supposed to be pretty effective in helping people deal with depression and change the thought processes that can lead to rumination and a depressed mood. It's basically arguing with and reasoning with yourself, not to make yourself feel worse, but to try and rise above the negative thoughts that tend to go along with (and probably even cause) depressive moods. There is a book called "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman that was really interesting to me; you might want to check it out. He argues that a lot of depression is caused by a pessimistic attitude, and he has specific ways of "retraining" yourself and your ways of thinking to try and be more optimistic. I never realized how pessimistic my thinking was until I read this book (because it's so automatic, we don't usually think about what we're thinking). Another book that I really liked is called "What Happy Women Know" by Dan Baker; he talks about positive psychology and how it can be applied in daily life.

Sorry this is a little long; I just wanted you to know that I know exactly how you feel because I've felt the same way (including the crying spells and the extreme guilt that just makes you feel worse instead of better). PM me if you ever need anyone to talk or listen, and good luck!

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answers from Columbus on

Definitely call your doctor and tell them you have been going through a rough patch and the wellbutrin doesn't seem to be working as well as it has in the past. They might want to up your dose or augment with an additional medication.

Please don't tell yourself you are being selfish or needy. This is chemical. This can be helped. You can feel level and normal again. You just need some help doing it.

Please take good care of you. Sending you strength and heartfelt thoughts.

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answers from Hartford on

Even when on medication, I still have times when the depression sort of comes through anyway. It may be because of environmental stressors or nothing at all. It's just the nature of clinical depression.

I do go to frequent, regular visits for talk therapy and medication adjustment (if needed) with my psychiatrist. I used to be on Paxil, but it stopped working and coming off of it was so horrible. I switched to Wellbutrin and it's been pretty good. I still have occasional down periods, but they're manageable. I did have to titrate up after one year? two years? but have been at the same steady dosage since. I'm also on Lexapro for my anxiety disorder. The pairing of Wellbutrin and Lexapro has been very good for me.

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answers from Portland on

Hi L.,

I have MS and have suffered with depression for years...taken all kinds of drugs, none of them helping. A couple of months back i found this site and products that have helped me fact... I have thrown away all of my Dr. prescribe medication. I fell wonderful! Not only is my depression gone but many of my MS symptoms have all so subsided.

Go to: and listen to this seminar on Natural Approaches to Anxiety & Depression.

I am now a distributor of these incredible natural health products so please feel free to call me at ###-###-####, my name is E. and I live in Washington State.

I am happy to share my experiences with you and help you anyway that I can. It's wonderful to feel happy and alive again


answers from Eugene on

I do not take medications of any kind. But I do take 5,000 units of vitamin D every day so I stay above the emotionally depleted line. In winter I used to have SAD. Not since vitamin D and full spectrum lights have I had any of it.

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