Dealing with My 8 Year Old Being Flustered/anxiety

Have you talked to your teacher about what she is doing to avoid the problem in the first place? If she knows that he has anxiety and is frusterated easily, she should make it a point to make sure that he understands the work and takes an extra minute or two to sit with him and explain things fully. I think that their brains are going faster then their bodies and sometimes it is hard for them to catch up. Be patient and try to address it at home as well. Make sure that you explain to him that he doesn't need to cry or get upset, but that he just needs to ask for help. He may not feel comfortable asking at school and that's a whole other issue if he isn't comfortable with his teacher. I am dealing with the same thing with my 5 year old. Just make sure you reinforce his asking for help before he gets so frusterated. He should know how to use his words at this point. Best of Luck!

Hi L.-
Your son sounds as if he is smart, and a perfectionist. They hate to get anything wrong. Hopefully, he will outgrow the confusion when he is stressed. In the meantime, speak very calmly, and walk him through the steps necessary to fix whatever it is without any judgemental vibes or loss of calmness. He is also very sensitive, so he should not be browbeaten. Sometimes it helps if they have a sense of humor, and the two of you can joke about it after it is all over and solved. We can't fix all their problems, but we can try to desentsitize a little, and be mom :-) S.

Is there counseling at school.... I know our school has one for kids that need to talk.... Sometimes they even have people available to sit down with the students and help them with their work. (slow down the instruction a little to give him a better understanding of the work... or give them a little extra time)

I know of an herbal blend that is safe for everyone - no neuro-toxic pharmaceutical side effects, etc. - called Calmazon. It supports the nervous system calming and balancing emotional and physical tension. You could give him a few drops before school and see if he has a better time getting through class. It would also help insure that he sleeps well and is getting the rest he needs at night as well. I recommend only the finest quality, most pure products and use only this on myself or my family when there is any anxiety or nervousness or sleeplessness. If you want a web link to this let me know. It really works!

Hi. I would suggest either the school counselor or a child/family therapist. What you described was me at that age. And it didn't just go away. There is something that is probably causing hims some underlying anxiety. I'm not a therapist, but that ended up being it for me. And I had to wait until I was an adult to figure it out. My guess is he's already so amped up about something he doesn't even realize that every little minor stress is huge.

I'm sure you're already doing this, but lots of gentle reassurance and slowly trying to help him walk through the task at hand might help in the short term.

If it helps, my son has been this way since about 6-7 yrs old, he is 8 now.

I spoke with his teacher, and his teacher said "gifted" or intelligent children are harder on themselves, hence the frustration, and the tears when they get something wrong, or cant figure something out. They have stress like us, and their way is crying, as mine does. There are a few kids in his class like that (3rd grade) and they have a designated tissue girl, when it happens who gets up and gets the box and hands it to the boys. Yes, it seems the boys are at that stage at this age.

I still am working through it, but he's happy and healthy, and soooooooooooo smart, that I just feel (and advice from the teacher helps) that its a phase, and the older he becomes, the better equipped he will be with his feelings, and how to vent and express, anger and frustration.

Good luck, just lots of reinforcement, that you love him, and mistakes are OKAY!

Happy Holidays to you and your family!

Dear L.,

It definitely sounds anxiety related. Homeopathy works extremely well for anxiety-related disorders. I am a naturopathic physician with a practice in Tempe & my area of expertise is homeopathy. I would welcome the opportunity to help your son. Please feel free to contact me with any questions. I'm happy to talk with you.

All the best,

L. L Kwan, ND
Kwan Naturopathic
1250 E Baseline Rd.
Suite 104
Tempe, AZ 85283
###-###-####
http://www.KwanNaturopathic.com

It sounds like he needs to learn some tools to deal with his feelings. You might try karate classes.