What are your thoughts on having the current man I'm seeing come over to the house after my daughter goes to sleep. She has not met him and am not ready to introduce them just yet. Do you think it's wrong for him to be at the house until they meet? I'm on the fence about this. He's not coming over to do anything physical as we have not slept together yet, but just to spend a ltitle time with me since we are both single parents it's hard to find time to spend together.
When I was single and dated, I never invited men over to my house. Period. The man I am married to now, was very understanding and respectful of that decision, and he didn’t even meet my daughter until we started to seriously talk about marriage. Then I invited him over. My daughter was with us when he proposed. No regrets!
Can you get a babysitter? That's what we did at the time we were dating.
I was a single parent for 15 years. Just got married last year.
I definitely wouldn't do it. I tried to model and shape my life in a way that I would expect my kids to be. Would you approve of your daughter having company after you had gone to bed? I know parents and children are of a different status in the home but children model and pattern their lives after you. Also while it seems as though you like this guy, you don't know this guy. Your daughter hasn't met this guy and you don't know where this is going if anywhere at all. I always made my mistakes on the side of caution and never allowed male guests over the house. Get to know him better and longer before you invite him over for private alone adult time. That is what I would do and did do but I'm really conservative that way.
Nope. I wouldn't. Not til it's VERY serious (i.e. considering marriage) and she's met him. Get a sitter & arrange for her to sleep elsewhere.
I don't think it's a good idea. What if your daughter wakes up? I can remember my mother having male guest over when I was little and when I saw him I would always think it was creepy having a stranger in my house.
You don't say how long you've been seeing this guy, or how long you've known him.
Personally, I wouldn't have him over at night after your daughter goes to sleep, just in the event that she'd wake up and see/meet him for the first time under those circumstances.
I wouldn't have him over until you've introduced your daughter to him in the light of day. I don't know how old your daughter is, but I wouldn't want my child to wake up and see a strange man in our home, or think I was hiding something from him. I'm a single mom too, although recently engaged. I definitely understand the difficulty of finding time to spend together, and at night when kids are asleep sounds like a reasonable solution, but I wouldn't be comfortable doing it until they've met.
Also, on the side of having your child meet - or not meet - a suitor, I tend to lean on the side of getting the man comfortable being with you and your child. This is your life, and it's not changing. So if he's going to be in your life, he needs to know your life, as it is. Now, before I get lambasted, I am CERTAINLY NOT suggesting that you bring every Tom, Dick, and Harry to the house to meet your child. I only recommend introducing anyone you feel is a true marriage candidate, and you don't know that in the early stages of a relationship. But I am also not a proponent of pretending to be a swinging single with no committments either. It would be dishonest to present that way, because you are not without committments, you do not have the freedom of a single person without children, and your daughter will undoubtedly remain the focus of your life. Anyone thinking about being a part of your life needs to know your life in reality. Not in pretend-to-be-single-without-committments dating world. It's a fine line to know when is the right time, but you'll know.
Best wishes.
How old is your daughter? I too, was thinking "OMG! What if she wakes up?!"
But if she's really young, she might not think anything at all. I think it's fine to have him over. If you've been dating for some time, then do it if you want. You really don't need anyone's permission or approval. You obviously care about your child, or this would not even be a concern. Of course, you said you're not sleeping together, so I do not advise having him over if you are trying to abstain! You know how that goes! Good luck.
K.
Go for it... But just remember that resisting the urge to sleep with him will be harder with a bed a few rooms away.
I haven't read any other responses. I don't know how old your daughter is. But when my daughter was age 2-3 I did this alot. (not to have sex or anything) But guys I was dating would come over after I had her in bed and we would hang out and watch a movie, etc. I see nothing wrong with it. My daughter never met these guys. I would not introduce anyone to her until we were serious. I want to add, I only did this with 2 different men I was dating and it was not my 1st, 2nd or even 3rd date when they came over to my house. I had already went on several dates with them. I wouldn't have a stranger over to my house.
How well do you know him?? I don't think I would, nope. If your just seeing each other and getting to know one another. I would go out and see him.
I don't see a problem with it.just keep in mind that there is the risk that she may wake up and see him but other then that, do you! good luck
I think it's ok as long as your daughter is a sound sleeper and doesn't get up at night. I understand what it's like to be in a new relationship and want to spend every second you can together. You are doing the right thing by waiting to bring them together. Good luck to you!
