Crazy Driving Husband and My kids...what Can I Do?

Oh, man...this is a tough one. Your husband is seriously endangering your kids in more ways than one. Texting while driving with your kids in the car is completely unforgivable. Not to mention the road rage.

I wouldn't let him drive me or the kids anywhere until he sees a professional to deal with his anger issues. Seriously. Find a different way to get the kids to school. Ask a relative, friend, or neighbor, and when your husband pitches a fit (which he will), put your foot down and let him know that you refuse to put you kids' lives at risk, and that's that.

You're in a tough spot. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

Make other arrangements for the kids to get to school. If you don't have a driver's license get one. If your schedule can be changed, change it. Perhaps another mom in your area could drive your kids. When there are times you have to travel as a family either you drive or make other arrangements. I would show him through my actions that I meant business. Not me nor the kids would travel with him at what ever costs I had to make that happen I would.

In time he the consequences of his irrational driving habits will bear fruit and it will be very bad and too late. Perhaps your hard stance will get him to see or he will just dig in his heels an at least the consequences will happen directly to him but unfortunately indirectly to your family.

He is a grown man and will do what he wants. You must make decisions that positively impact your family and driving the kids and making arrangements for them to be driven by another responsible adult seems like the way to go.

what would you do if he wasn't around?
do that.
do NOT let those kids in the car with this person.
do not get in the car with this person.
someone who will text on the freeway with you and his kids in the car and get angry at you for objecting is a dangerous person. i'll bet that degree of anger, self-justificaation and controlling behavior extends beyond behind the wheel.
if you let your kids get in that car and he kills or injures them, you are as guilty as he.
put your foot down.
khairete
S.

Can't you drive when you two are together? Why does HE get to drive?

Take the darn keys away from him and save your kids' lives before it's too late. Are your kids old enough to take the school bus? If they are, have them ride the bus instead of riding with him.

You had better have some life insurance on your husband. You may very well need it.

Dawn

He is angry, disrespectful, and dangerous.

I have to ask - is he ONLY like this in the car? What happens if you try to drive instead of him?

Be honest with yourself, and then go from there. Because you don't need to have you or your kids subjected to this. And I doubt this attitude and behavior is going to limit itself to the car. Do what you have to do to protect yourself and your kids.

probably something you've already done - but i would absolutely talk to him about it when you're NOT in the car.

and i would stand my ground. this person scares you so much YOU wouldn't even drive with him at times - and you're putting your children in a car with him?

but there are bigger issues here. this would be a deal breaker for me -because not only is he reckless and a completely dangerous jerk on the road - he's completely disrespectful of you. is this what you want your kids growing up to be? because they will. i think some serious changes are in order. if he is acting like this in the car i have a real hard time thinking he is mr. considerate and thoughtful out of it. jmo. especially if you are voicing your concerns and he is blowing them off (telling you to "be quiet"?? um NO.)

PS i agree with Leah - he needs anger management classes, or at the very least, counselling. again - this would be non-negotiable for me. either he fixes it or the marriage is over. this is your kids' safety here.

Sounds like your husband has some serious anger issues. I would *never* ride with him, and *never* allow my children to ride with him. Honestly, it sounds like you're being a bit of a push-over about this.

Are you sure that he is not a dangerous person overall? Are you sure that his rage is limited to the road?

There is NO way this guy would be driving me or more importantly, my children!!! My husband is a little like this, very little, in that he'll be choosing songs on his stupid ipod while driving. My daughter even asked him to stop doing this! He wouldn't stop, so the next time we were going out, I drove!

I refuse to ride in the car with someone that does not respect ME enough to stop when I ask them to stop!

Your husband needs help NOW!!! In the mean time, I would do everything possible to avoid having him drive ANY children!!! They are not only being put in danger but they're learning this bad behavior! When they start driving they'll be doing the same things!!! THINK ABOUT IT!!!

Good luck!!!!

I would tell him that you are terrified for both the children's safety and his. If he cannot change his behaviors, he cannot drive the kids and you will find an alternate arrangement, even if it means that the family gives up something to pay for someone to do it. If the older child is reporting that he's swearing and out of control in front of all the kids, then I'd take that very seriously. That has to be scary on many levels for the kids.

FWIW, my SS has a terrible driving record (our insurance may drop him) and recently got another speeding ticket - this time for going 91. I decided that he cannot take his little sister anywhere, period, til he gets his act together. He can't borrow any of our cars, either. I would never forgive myself if I allowed it and something happened. SS said he didn't feel unsafe and DH read him the riot act about how his driving shows total disregard for anyone else on the road and for his passengers.

If your DH puts himself through a tree alone, that's sad and one thing. But if his behaviors take you and/or the kids and/or someone else with him, that's another. If you are so worried you want to call the cops, something has to change. If he is unwilling to change and/or get counseling for his anger issues (which I suspect are not limited to the car) and to deal with his disregard of you and your children, then there are much bigger issues than texting behind the wheel.

Okay so you will call the cops on him before you make different arrangements to get the kids to school? That doesn't make sense at all!

How the heck could he drive them when he loses his license anyway?

All you can really do is make other arrangements for the kids to get to school.

You can follow him and call 911 if he's actively driving crazy, but you will have to stick around and talk to the cop because the cop won't be able to do anything about erratic driving that he doesn't see. You will have to be the witness and possibly even put your own hubby under citizen's arrest.

Just tell him that until he attends an anger management course, neither the kids nor you will get in the car with him and that unfortunately the family budget will have to take a hit to pay for the additional transportation costs.

Good luck to you and yours.

Do you know if anyone at the school has ever observed any of his bad behaviors? I mean.. if there is a teacher or other school employee that you know sees some of this... well... they are mandated reporters. You might just make them aware of your concerns, and they may be able to make a report on what they see. That might get his attention so that he'd start to realize he needs to straighten up and that this isn't all just you being a silly paranoid person.