Could My 9Month Old Have Separation Anxiety?

Hello! First of all, it all sound pretty normal. Don't forget a 9 month old does not have the concept of sharing and will cry when something is taken away. As for separation anxiety, that's exactly what it is. Just don't make it a big deal and most importantly, be quick to drop her off and don't add to her anxiey. Act casual (it's hard!) and reasure her that you will be back. Then leave the room. If you ask the daycare provider, I am sure she will tell you that she was fine within 5 min of you leaving. Also the biting could be just something that you will have to correct and make understand that it's not ok. My 7 month old bites my fingers all the time but he is teething! He had started biting me when nursing but I made it clear that that was not ok and just stopped nursing him and saying "no" to him. He doesn't bite me anymore! But he will get my hand and use it as a teether and it hurts! By the way, you can still express your dissaproval with biting and trust me, they know when you are upset.

sure she could have seperation anxiety... mu 6 month old does.. not too bad now.. but for the longest time he did..

C.,
9 mo is a VERY common age for kids to start separation anxiety. A crawling baby has come to discover that she is a separate person from you, and although she's happy to have her increased freedom, she's also a little nervous about it. She will grow out of it with your support. When you leave her at care, give her a reassuring hug and kiss, be brief, tell her you'll be back, and go. The more you hesitate, the more she'll wonder if there's something to worry about. If you are confident, she can be, too! If she melts when you get there, hug her and tell her how much you missed her, too. Now you're giving her words for what she's feeling. At home, try wearing her in a sling or carrier so she can have lots of "face time" (wear her facing you) while you get things done. This, too, shall pass.

As for the biting- she's not really old enough to understand that it's hurting someone else when she does it. It's possible that she's teething and it feels good. If she's an "oral" baby (loves to chew, bite, and mouth everything!), she may bite when she's frustrated to relieve stress. Give her an alternative- a chewy toy or a washcloth. Be sure her care provider understands that biting in little ones this young is NEVER a mean act. It can be frustrating, yes. And mortifying for the mom of the biter. But these things happen as children explore personal boundaries and learn what's safe and what's not. My own dd has bitten me out of frustration, and I make a very sad face, tell her that it hurt me, we bite food and chewies, not people. She will learn.
And as for the tantrums- they all have 'em! It's her way of expressing that she's upset is all. Remember that your little one has no other way of telling you how she's feeling- no words for mad, hurt, upset, hungry, etc. So until she learns them, she will use body language to tell you. As she's flailing, tell her what you see. "I know you're angry, and it's hard to wait your turn." etc. It may feel silly at first, but you're teaching her how she's feeling so she can tell you later. You could also start teaching her sign language at this age. Babies can sign almost a full year before they can speak, so it will give her a way to tell you all sorts of things (my dd has a vocab of 15 signs at 1yr old!).
You're doing a great job as a mom. These challenges will come and go, and just when you're done with one stage, the next begins! Remember, you are the perfect mother for your child, and you will grow and learn about eachother together!
If you'd like more info on baby sign language, feel free to send me an email or message and I'll let you know what I used.

C.-My daughter Sully went through the exact same stage if seperation anxiety and biting out of frustration. She will out grow it soon.

Either the puppy bit her or another child and now she wants to see what it's like to bite someone herself.

Obviously she is too young to reprimand for biting, but the dcp should remove her from the situation when she gets frustrated and bites someone.

Good Luck! it will soon pass!

C.,

Hi, my daughter is almost seventeen months, and she started biting at about 9 months also. That is the reason I had to stop nursing at 9.5 months. I don't know from your description if your daughter is also teething, but that is what was going on with mine.

As far as biting at the daycare, she also started biting (and being bitten) at daycare. Unfortunately it comes with the daycare territory. They don't have the words, only actions, so it tends to be hitting and biting.

I put my daughter in a time out when she bites (1 minute per year), but I think yours may be too young to get that yet.

I hope this helped a little! Good luck!
M.

It is possible but before you start thinking that maybe you should wonder if something happened at daycare. When my sister was little she was going and they kept changing staff every few hours well they were outside and my sister fell and got hurt but she didn't know who to go to because the people were different. For that day on she screamed everytime my mom brought her. My mom had to take her out of the school. Maybe something happened with your daughter. If she was fine then all of a sudden shes doing that. Sounds weird to me..

my son has the same birthday as your daughter. Being attatched to you is completelyly normal and if she wasnt crawling after you when you drop her off at daycare then that wouldnt be normal. And taking toys is normal, you cnt stop it and shes too young to understand that its meen to do so. You need to understand all of these behaviors for children are completely normal and will get worse before it gets better. And shes probably teething so biting on things feels good to her. You need to say to her NO when she bites you.

I feel your pain!! Although my daughter is not biting, but I do remember my stepson at this age being a biter, she does have seperation anxiety and a new puppy. She wants only me, never daddy! I will say it is getting better. She has been doing this for about a month now and she seems to be able to be on her own a little more. Whenever she wants me I let her have me. Her pedi told me the phase would pass quicker if we indulged her. It is REALLY hard but I do see a light at the end of the tunnel! Good luck and hang in there!

My son is three is just started showing signs of separation. I think it is just a phase. He doesn't have a tantrum but he wants to stay home and go places with me. He is very well behaved then. On days when he knows he has to go to daycare he says he doesn't want to go and does things he normally wouldn't and shouldn't do. I think it is part attention and part of seeing how far he can go. She is starting to learn so she will do more things over time.

If you want to story swap so you can see its not just you and that you are not a bad mother I will be glad to talk and listen anytime. I have these thought too when his dad (unfortunately he left us but fortunately he his still in his life) says he doesn't do things at his house. But I have to realize he has him less than I do for one and the other things is kids try things with some that they don't do with others.

Sorry so long. Its not about me so I will not go into more. But I am sure you are not a bad mom.

Seperation anxiety can happens at anytime between 1 and 2 and is normal. My son is 22 months and just started clinging to my leg when I dropped him off at daycare just like when they're little and need to see you to know they are not alone as they get older they know when you disappear your around the corner but thye get anxious about if your gonna come back. I think once she sees that no matter you will always come get her she ease up again as far as biting is she still teething? some children need to feel that stimulation and they bite not to be mean but to have that sensation on their gums if thats the case giving them something they are alowed to bite is helpful I dont know if that helps just my past experience