Wow, you are a great Stepmom and smart too..
Look into your states College fund. My mother did the Texas Tomorrow fund and yes, it will allow the child to decide, what type of College or ACCREDITED training schools..
Here in Texas the fund now works so that you decide which plan you want to purchase. It can be based on in state Tuition price or Out of State tuition price.
IF your stepdaughter decides to not go to any school or to a non accredited training school, she will receive the amount paid and a small percentage.
To give you an example if she decides to attend college.. My mother purchased one of these funds for our daughter when our daughter was 7 yrs old. At that time my mother paid the amount of in State Tuition was $900. per year. It is now $7200 per year.
So in total my mother paid $3600. (we had no idea at the time our daughter would go out of state) Our daughter will now receive at least $29,000 total.This is paid directly to the college.
Our daughter attends an private out of state college and it is $58, 000 per year for Tuition, Room and Board. She has received academic scholarships, grants and of course this Texas Tomorrow fund has helped tremendously.. Remember we still have to pay for her medical insurance, books, fees and transportation, with living expenses.
So yes, there are many options. Call your state offices and find out what they offer.. I also suggest you speak with your credit Union and see what they have to offer.
You and your husband can be the co signers with step daughter. Explain you do not want this money touched by anyone else.. They handle this type of thing all of the time..