Clean House Vs. Kid's Needs

What I have learned to do with a 2 1/2 yr old and a 5 month old is clean everyday. I used to only clean one day a week and do it all but that is impossible now. So I sat down and assigned myself certain tasks each day of the week. So every night I do one or two things and that way I can get it all done and still spend time with the kids. My husband also has a list of chores for each day of the week. It all works out so the house is always pretty clean. When it is time for a major cleaning I get grandma to take the kids for the day and I clean all day. Hope this helps.

HI,
what works for me. My daughter is 2 and I try to clean when she gets her Tv time. One time in the morning, and one time in the afternoon. And I always clean after shes in bed for about 15 minutes or so. Kids also have to learn and do activities on their own. If she is occupied with a toy nearby where she can see me than it doesn't bother her to not have my full attention. Also, there are some chores she can help me with. Kids need to learn about cleaning anyways, so why not have them learn and help along the way.

Hi B.,
Since I have had my son I also have had this problem. I found a website called www.flylady.com. It is a fun website that has everything planned out. She emails you with reminders and she says you shouldn't spend more that 15 minutes cleaning at one time. I find it to be helpful and motivating.

I have a few suggestions for you!

Have a 1 hour a day power hour. I do this during Sesame Street. I give my son a snack and let him watch his favorite show. The only time my son watches TV is if I am cleaning during my power hour or if I am cooking dinner. We have a DVR, so I record his favorites. During the morning while my son is eating breakfast, I make a list of all the things that need to be done during my hour and I prioritize them. Try not to put too much on your list or you will feel defeated if you don't get everything done. One suggestion I have is cleaning one room in your house per day. By the end of the week, your entire house will be clean. I also try to start the laundry and take a shower before he gets up. I hope this helps!

Don't drive yor self nuts. Your kids are only little once. Enjoy them now and don't worry so much about the house, it'll get done eventually.

Hi B.. My name is D. and I have 4 year old twin boys. They keep me really busy, so I know what you mean. I have found that kids can be involved with things for only about 15 minutes at a time. And my boys love to wipe down sinks or wash windows and even mop the floors. They think it is kind of neat to help mom clean. Again, for about 15 minutes at a time. The problem is lots of products from the stores are unsafe to be in childrens hands and have strong scents that aren't good for the children (or the parents for that matter) to be inhaling. But I have found some stuff that is not toxic, does not contain ammonia or phosphates and is safe for the environment, including our lungs. I would love to tell you more and where you can find these awesome cleaners. See my web page at www.themomteam.com/duscon. The web page will talk about owning your own business, however if you request additional info, I will call you and I can just tell you about the products if that is all you are interested in. Hope this helped.
D. W.

Got a friend or neighbor who needs a little extra help around the house also? How about working out a deal where you take turns coming over to the others' house to help clean for a couple hours each week?

I have a friend who used to have a cleaning lady come in every 2 weeks...she said it changed her life for the better! Then her family needed to tighten their belts...no more extra cash for the cleaning lady. So, she worked it out with her girlfriend, they limit it to 2 hours each Sat or Sun...whatever they can get done in that time gets done. She said she saves the jobs that she has a hard time getting to for that time...kitchen floor, shower, etc.

If you can write your name in the dust on your furniture you know you're in a house full of love. The kids are only little once. There will be plenty of time later on to have a "clean" house. I used to be a clean freak, too, but felt I wasn't giving my kids enough attention so slowed down on the cleaning bit. It was hard at first not to clean everything in sight but it got easier the more we have fun and share time together. If it's not a danger to the kids then it can wait. Remember, straightening and cleaning can be two different things. It's ok to have a house that looks lived in!

Good luck - S.

B., first life is short, don't worry too much about a little mess, Are your children helping? NOW is the time to train them, they want to help! For something special, we used to do a "King or Queen" game. daddy is the king, we would clean then when the king came home(make him a crown) He was so happy and proud, sometimes he bestowed gifts for projects well done! Or we took pictures of special jobs! Some silly things... we would draw pictures on dusty tables, then erase, blow bubbles into the toilet, then wipe it down, every child likes to use the toilet brush, and wash dishes, (you do the knives first), use baking soda instead of cleanser, sinks, tubs, toilets, vinegar and water for windows, kids are great at sorting clothes and folding. Believe it or not your 1.5 year old can fold washcloths, find matching socks.. All of my children and the children in my childcare did it all, and love to make things shiny, will they be perfect, no but does it really matter? they will be learning, and helping. It is your JOB as a parent to teach your children to be responsible for themselves. YOU can do it B.! xo K.

I agree with Vicky...enlist your kids! They are at the perfect age to 'help' and they might accidentally get somthing done for you...LOL. My kids love Swiffer dusters, I just pop one on a handle and let them go at it. My 3.5 year old likes to spray and wipe things. I usually have to redo it, but it keeps him busy and closeby while I am getting a few things done. Also, re-evaluate what you think 'clean' is. I really had to let some things go and get used to my house being imperfect! You know, it really helped me get my priorities straight. My hosue will still need cleaning tomorrow, but my kids will be another day older and another day closer to being gone! Enjoy them!
~L.

Best advice I ever got: simplify your house and your housework will diminish.

The more stuff you own, the more stuff you need to organize. The more stuff you have, the more needs dusting. The more stuff in the way, the harder it is to get to the windows to wash them. Put away, throw away or sell the stuff you don't use every single day.

Oh... and get help. Hire it if you can afford it, but if you can't, trade, or beg for help. Lots of moms in your situation would like someone to come over an afternoon a week, with kids if necessary, to help out with this and that, from baking to sorting out the baby clothes, getting the living room ready for a holiday or the house ready for inlaws. They will happily trade you for an afternoon a week at your house to do whatever is the top of your priority list. Ask your friends if they want to help in exchange for help -- you may be surprised who says 'yes.'

My house is not always perfectly clean, but I do try to hit the basics at least once a week. (Vacuuming usually gets done more often - it's amazing what thing get crumbled on my floor!)

One thing that really helped me was reading "Sink Reflections" by Marla Cilley. She helps you set up a control journal, which is basically a lot of little to-do lists. You do a manageable amount of work each day so you are never overwhelmed and your house gets clean!

I have a 3-year-old daughter and an 18 month old son. I usually save the cleaning that involves chemicals (like the bathroom) for when my son is sleeping. I try to involve my daughter by giving her a dry cloth for cleaning the bathroom (she does the bathtub while I do the sink and then we switch), or she will get out her toy broom or vacuum to "help" while I sweep or vacuum. It takes a little longer, but I have found that she loves helping me and that way I'm not feeling guilty for ignoring her while I'm cleaning.

It's never too early to teach your kids the value of a clean house :) We trade off in my house. I have a 7 year old and a 3 year old and we've been doing this since the 7 year old was quite little. I taught them early that the world didn't revolve around them... for everything I did with them, they had to let me do something for "me". I fthey wanted me to play a gama, then when the game as over they let me throw in some laundry. Then we'd play with something else and then I would empty the dishwasher. Depending on the age of the child, they can help... kids love to psh the laundry into the dryer, throw in the dryer sheet and close the door. They can also put the siverware into the drawer (minus the knifes of course). We also have a rule that each kid cleans up their rom at night, and they both clean up the play room and laundry always gets put into a laundry basket... and we only have one in my room, so I don't have laundry baskets getting full all over the house. If you make it fun and "take turns" they learn to help out and know that you;ll come back to them when you'r done with your own chores. One other think that maybe I shouldn't e too proud of: I convinved my son when he was really little that the vacuum was strong enough to suck up toys, so every once in a while I'd take it out and leave it near the play room so he'd see it and know I was planning on vacuuming and he's run around and pick up all his toys :)

FOCUS ON THE CHILDREN!
They will benefit more from your attention than a "show room" house.
If you are sanitary and safe that is good enough right now !
Your Babies will never remember what the house looked like ,but they will treasure all of the time Momma spent with them . !!!

You will ALWAYS have house work. But you only have your kids once. Don't miss out. Your kids are not going to remember if they had a clean house growing up but the will remember the times you had together. If you feel the need you need to keep your home picked up make a game & learning experience out of cleaning, include your kids; count toys, shoes etc.. when picking them up or ask them to pick up all blue pillows or toys. You can apply this to any house work just have fun, laugh, use your imagination and enjoy doing it with Emma & Nathaniel

I think all moms feel like this. What I started when I became a mom is clean my house really good one morning a week. This would only take about 2 hours. Then the rest of the week I could give them my attention-- accept for laundry and I did that 2x week. I started this 13 years ago, and today am still following that scheduale.

Added:
I disagree w/most--I think it is important to have a clean home, this teaches your kids so be clean, and also teaches them to play independantly! They do not need your attention ALL the time. This too is good parenting to teach your children!

No one ever says on their death bed that they wish they had spent more time cleaning. Don't worry about it! Love and cherish your kids while you can! Their childhood goes by so fast. That's my advise, for what it is worth. :)

I am 32, a SAHM, and I have 3 kids ages 3 1/2, 2 1/2 and 9 months. I have given up on the idea of a spotless house. My house is a disaster during the day but before bed the kids and I pick up all the toys together.
I think that it is important to spend time with your kids. They are only small for a short time and you had them to enjoy them. Before you know it they will be in school and then you can clean all you want.
Don't get me wrong I do what I can. But I do it when the kids are napping or after they go to bed. We don't live in filth. LOL!

B.,
My suggestion would be to get the kids involved. My daughter is 21 months old and she loves to help me vacuum, cook, and she is starting to help me pick up her toys too. She has been helping me for quite some time in one form or another.
Of course I can't let her help me with the chemicals that I clean with, but I try and let her help me wipe stuff down with a regular cloth and things like that.
Now I can't do anything without her saying "help you?":)
And surprisingly it doesn't slow me down too much, and sometimes she really is a big help! I've even got her putting her clothes in the hamper after she gets undressed.
I am a WAHM, so I am always balancing housework, regular work, and my daughter. It can be a challenge!

I allways stress on this as I am a clean freak. The only solution I have found is to get my kids to help. My daughters love to help mom wash dishes. They run to get the chair to stand on. I wash and they rinse, and of course they dont touch the knives etc. I try to make a game of house work so it is fun, I play music and dance around the house and act real silly which my kids just really get in to, all while cleaning. The big bonus to this is that they are learning in a fun way to do housework and they are not hating it. I have also come to accept that with kids messes do happen and its ok we just clean it up!

www.flylady.com has good advice on how to clean and organize your house one room at a time. It can't all be done at once, but once it's done it'll streamline the process. I usually just do what I can 15 min a day and get my 2 year old to help. I also have a 6 month old so I don't have a lot of time to clean either. But I'm working everyday towards a house thats just a little more organized.

I highly recommend the Fly Lady's advice on www.flylady.org. She gives great tips and techniques, as well as compassionate support. It's never easy to balance, but don't be too h*** o* yourself if something doesn't get done. Good luck!

IF at all possible, get a cleaning lady to come 2x a month. I cannot stand not to have a clean house and work full time so I didn't want to eat up my time with the kids cleaning. If you can't afford a cleaning lady, let your daughter help (my 4 year old loves to clean). I would tackle a room at a time.

B. i use to feel guilty when i played with my children and didn't do house work, then when i cleaned house i felt guity for not playing with my children. But i found my children won't be there for long but the dust will be there when i found time to clean it up. I made it a game with my sons. and it helped them how to have clean houses when they grew. if it isn't dirt don't worry about it, u can pick up (with your hubbys help) after kids are in bed or before company comes. after they get older it will be easy. than u will have time while they at practice or with a friend or have Grandma and grandpa come get them for an hour. than clean. but your Kids come first. or if u can get an house keeper come in once a week. (I did)

I hear you. I have a HUGE problem trying to clean when the kids are home. My 5 yr old triplets are in 1/2 day Kindergarten right now so that actually gives me a couple hours to clean while they are at school. But then they mess it up before my husband even gets home in the evening. It is frustraiting as well. I wish you all the luck in the world. It does get a little better when they go to school. Something to look forward to. :)

I know exactly what you mean. I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 1 1/2 year old, so cleaning tasks aren't always easy. What I usually do with vacuuming is play a dinosaur game. We pretend the vacuum is a dinosaur and the kids have to stay on the couch or what ever piece of furniture they can find to get away from the dinosaur, they love it. When it comes to dusting, the wipes that are out today are the greatest (like clorox disinfecting wipes). I usually give my children one of their pampers wipes that way there not touching any chemicals that maybe in the other wipes. Then I appoint things for them to clean like toys or pieces of furniture that they can't hurt and they love being so responsible. For mopping I either do it at night after they've gone to bed or we pretend that mommy's creating a river and they have to stay on the carpet till it dries up. I hope some of these ideas help. To be honest with you these don't always work it depends on their mood. But, when they do it's great! Just remember children love to help and your not being a slave driver by asking them to help. In fact this is a fun way to play and to get things done.

Hi there B. I have two sons and when my youngest was about a year and a half old I found the best way to get anything done (my house was falling apart) was to include them. Let them help whenever they can in their own way. It took a few weeks for me to master how to let them help on the daily stuff but man what a difference. A few weeks into the "experiment" I actually pulled up my living room carpet with my 1.5 year old. I wanted the wood floors that were underneath to show. He helped me when I was pulling up the tacks around the edge with his own Plastic tool *he plucked fuzzes while I pulled tacks * Then he helped me roll up the carpet pushing was his favoirite part he laughed and laughed. Then when I was washing the floor under it with a cloth and soapy water he had a wet cloth and an bowl with maybe a quarter inch of water in it and man he had a blast. I realized with this project and the surprise on my husbands face when he got home. Anything is possible with little ones you just have to be really creative. LOL. To this day (he is 5) he love to help and now he really is more help and it is great to see. As for the daily or weekly stuff you need to do think of little ways they can help. This way they are in the same room and feel like they are playing and helping and doing what you do. For instance if you are cleaning the bathroom let them have a dry or damp cloth to wipe the sink or door or door jams. They can do this for quite some time and by then you are ready to move on to a new room. For mopping floor I bought my little guy his own swifter wet jet and just put one of my empty *cleaner containers* on it so he wasnt shooting any cleaner out but he loved it and sometimes would do it without me even home he would tell my hubby I mop daddy get my mop LOL.

Just be creative and they can have your time and have a blast helping you. Best part is you get to spend time with them and get your stuff done in what becomes almost a fun way. :0) Good luck V.

B.,
I won't pretend to have an answer since my house is frequently a mess. But, your 4 yr old is old enough to "help out". My 2 yr old loves to do laundry. He helps take stuff out of the dryer, fold washclothes and take socks out of the basket. So, try and involve your kids in some small way with cleaning so even if you aren't playing with them you are spending time with them. Maybe you can give your 15 month old a small task to do while you are doing something in the same room. The other thing is to prioritize what you MUST get done and let go of what you can't. A friend once told me, "I pick my friends by how clean their houses are. Then I know what is really important to them."
M.

B.,

I agree that your kids need time with you, but you also need time to focus on something other than them. I saw another mom mentioned FlyLady. You should really check her website out. Her site is free, membership is free, and you adapt the routines to fit your lifestyle.

One day a week FlyLady does a weekly home blessing hour. She literally cleans her home from top to bottom in one hour. This is something your 4-year-old can help with. The cleaning hour is just the basics (remember it doesn't have to be perfect!), then throughout the week you focus on your zones (1 area of the house at a time) and work for only 15 minutes in your zone at a time.

I can't make the weekly blessing hour work for me on just one day, so instead I break up the list and do one thing each day. This helps to keep the house looking "mostly" presentable and my sanity under control. Really, I can get my home ready for company in about 30 minutes now, where before it would take days, and I couldn't always find everything that I "put away" in bags and stored in the office. Now, I have a place for everything and can easily make the decisions on the mail as it comes in daily. This helps to keep the clutter down to a minimum.

The best part about the FlyLady system, you will be teaching your children how to clean the house and keep it fun! Especially if you include them in things they can do (like dusting the tables). You will show them how to be organized with a control journal (your routines written down in check list form), and how housework doesn't have to take all the fun out of their mom.

Your children will benefit from having a daily routine, knowing you do certain things at certain times of the day. By scheduling in house work, playing with the kids, and "me" time you will be a better mother and teach your children how to keep their lives balanced as they grow up.

And that's one of the most important parenting lessons. The one that will keep them sane when they become adults and start their own lives.

Good luck!

I think for the vast majority of "normal" moms, this is an age old question since there are so many variables. My in-laws seem to do everything after the kids go to bed, that doesn't work for me at all. I have no energy after my 3 boys go to bed. I have started reading a book that I think will help emensly (sp) called The House That Cleans Itself. No, things won't magically clean themselves like the nursery in Mary Poppins, but I think it will take a lot less time and maybe the family will be better at helping. I'm also hoping for a Mom's Co-Op for babysitting and the like. Maybe swapping time with other moms - couple hours at your house then a couple of hours at their's. Just a suggestion. If you have a lot of friends, this could be beneficial to ALL!