CIO In Early Morning Hours

Those darn manipulative 10-month-olds! Why can't they just act like adults already!

Plain and simple to me, he's hungry. I'm willing to bet if you feed him he'll fall back to sleep. And once he stops growing like a weed, he'll sleep longer between feedings. If you've tried it for 7 nights and it's still happening, then it's time to realize he's needing you, not manipulating you.

well, if you don't want to co-sleep, then not bringing him to bed with you makes sense. but 4:30 isn't the middle of the night. it's almost morning. sounds to me like a hungry baby. CIO will not make hunger go away.
khairete
S.

Everybody who has read me before knows what i think of the crying it out method (NOT good things). If your baby crys there's always a reason and should be addressed since he's not doing it on purpose or just to get on your nerves, he NEEDS something, wether it is food, affection, etc.. I don't know why the doctor told you to not feeding him at night anymore, but please remember that doctors are NOT always right. If your baby crys for hunger it means that his system requires him to eat at that time (a baby just not decides it's time to eat, it's his body asking), so if you want to sleep all night you may want to put him to sleep later at night after the last feeding and see how it goes (you probably already tried that). Often the bottle is for comfort...why take that away from him, is my question, if this is his case. Pretty soon he'll sleep (and let you sleep) all night as growing will change lots of things for both both of you. A new mom feels a doctor is always right but gut feeling and common sense should always be the priority, no mom feels good about hearing her children suffering (crying) and there is a very natural and good reason for it, let's apply it!. Obvioulsy I don't know the entire story etc.. so my opinion could be completely off point, but I thought I would throw in my 5 cents. I just hate hearing children crying for no reason, it not necessary and I find it emotionally damaging in the long run. Just my very personal opinion.Good luck.

I had an early waker too. If CIO isn't working, I think it's because he's hungry. If he goes to bed early (my son did) and he is growing, he will be hungry early. It's really hard to get up at that hour, but it will pass! He won't wake up at 4:30 forever. You could try feeding him more just before he goes to bed to see if it helps him sleep later. My son would wake up at 4:30, poop, and eat. That was just his body's schedule. Now he sleeps until at least 6:30, which feels like sleeping in to me!

It sounds to me like he is really hungry! 6 hrs is what pediatricians consider sleeping thru the night. Cry it out is not going to work on a hungry baby, wet baby, etc i hate CIO it did nothing for my youngest (my oldest has always been a sleeper) but if you are going to do it make sure all basic needs have been met. Baby has a dry diaper, full belly, warm enough, etc then let him fuss if you don't want him in your bed.

I think drs can have all the advice they want, they don't have to LIVE with the problems.

I agree with poss trying to break the middle of the night feeding, but my kids all breastfed once until they were at least 1.

We decided to do what's called a "dream feed". I'd wake the baby when I went to bed, let him nurse as long as he wanted, then put him back down to sleep. This seems to help fill him up enough to sleep longer in the morning hours.

I realize you are likely desperate for some good sleep - I've been there.

But babies don't care about clocks or our schedules.

Maybe try a dream feed or giving him a bottle at 4:30 when he wakes up, but him back down and leave him until 6 am. My kids had one feeding until about 14 mos old. For some reason, weight or developmentally, they were willing to give it up.

After 6am, that's fair game.

Believe me, I practice what I preach. We too are "struggling" with our 18 mo old still waking at about 6:30 am. I am now trying to put some toys in his crib when I go to sleep and it seems to be working. Instead of crying and waking everyone in the house, he's learning to play by himself until we come get him. This has been VERY useful, because now I can put him down for a nap or bed wide awake and he plays with his SCOUT dog until he konks out. No more endless rocking, reading, watching tv, etc.

We sign "night night", give everyone goodnight kisses and go up into his dark room, turn on a night light and sound machine, sit/walk around for a few minutes with him on my shoulder/lap snuggling, then down he goes. That's it! From 8pm-6:30am. If he does wake, he puts himself back down. On the rare occasion he's screaming (like he's had a bad dream) it only takes 1-2 minutes on my shoulder and he's fine.

Believe me Mama, I know you are desperate for sleep. Give your LO 1 feeding whenever you think he needs it. 12 hours is a LONG time for a little baby to go without food. It's not impossible, but save yourself the grief for a little while longer. Maybe Daddy can help every other night or with a dreamfeed?

Best wishes.

You do what you have to... but CIO doesn't seem effective to me for early waking. A lot of people do it successfully to help young children learn to put themselves to sleep at night or nap. But waking up for the day earlier than parents want and being forced to cry or just lie there doesn't seem like the right application of CIO. (my two cents) If he had always slept until 6:30 and suddenly he's up at 4:30 to play then maybe yeah you could try CIO... but if his body naturally wakes up at that time then you might need to adjust your schedule rather than deal with two hours of crying on and off. That can't be restful for either your 10 month old or you. How about putting him to bed a bit later? Shortening a daytime nap? He may just be getting too much sleep at other times.

And on the cutting out a bottle... he may not need to eat in the middle of the night depending on how he's growing, but if your mommy instinct tells you that he needs a bottle at night, don't let any pediatrician tell you to drop it! You're the expert for your child... especially since when to drop bottles isn't remotely a medical decision.

It sounds like hunger to me. 4:30 isn't the middle of the night. You didn't mention when his last feeding is, and what time he is going to bed. I think if you feed him he will go back to sleep and probably sleep till 7 or 7:30. Or this is just his schedule and you can CIO out of him, you are going to have to deal with it.

It would help to know what time you're putting him to bed at night. You do have to be realistic about how many hours a 10 month old will sleep and how long he can go without eating.

I think going to your child in the middle of the night (or even the early morning hours) is important. It teaches them that Mommy (or Daddy) is there when they need her (or him). If your child is hungry and you give him a bottle, you are teachings him to eat when he's hungry. A 10 month old does not minipulate, he genuinely has a need.

I think the most important thing you can provide your baby at this point (in addition to food and comfort) is a foundation of trust -- and a belief that you will be there for him

That being said --- responding to his tears (since he can't speak, and can't communicate beyond this basic expression) seems vital. As others have said == being woken at 4:30 AM by your child is a brief chapter in your life. While he feels the need -- either for food or for comfort -- why not be there for him, and give him a sense of security and love. Bottom line, I think a mother's instincts should be listened too -- and what mother doesn't instinctively respond to her crying child by offering comfort of some kind. It is only intellectually (because a book, or method, or doctor's advice) that we respond differently. I'd go with your gut and respond in the way that a mother most naturally responds -- by taking your child in your arms or bed or rocking chair -- and addressing his needs : whether it be for food or affection. As they say: this too shall pass.

He is so young.
They don't have regular sleep yet.
Sleep patterns are not static in a baby or child.
It changes per development, per teething, per hunger, per hitting milestones, per hitting growth-spurts.

Him waking at 4:30, is to me, good.
My kids as babies, woke every 2-3 hours. I nursed.

How come, your Doc said not to give him bottles?
If a baby is hungry, they are hungry.
Both my kids as babies, had GINORMOUS appetites. Especially at growth-spurts.
Going all night, with an empty tummy, is hard.
Why not, just feed him and give him a bottle?
Our Pediatrician said, for the 1st year of life, a baby's primary source of nutrition and calories, is from breastmilk or Formula. Not solids and not other liquids. And to feed on-demand. Day and night.
They are growing so much and this is a building block period for development and growth.

9 moths old, was a growth-spurt time. IF for example, a baby's intake is not keeping UP with the baby, they will be hungry. A baby grows and needs more frequent feedings, per growth-spurts. If not, they are hungry. For example.

Suppose your baby, goes to bed at 7:30pm. (I am just assuming since you did not say when he goes to bed). That means, that from 7:30pm until he wakes at 4:30am... he has slept for 9 hours straight. That is a LONG time, for a baby. And his tummy is empty.
"Sleeping through the night" for a baby, means, sleeping at least in 5-6 hour stretches.
Your baby, IS doing that.
Your baby, IS sleeping, well.

To me, just give him a feeding and his bottle.

Go by your baby's cues for hunger and needs.
Not by the Doc saying no bottles anymore.

Our Pediatrician, is the opposite.

A baby, does not have to wake up in the morning, at that same time as an adult. MANY babies/kids, wake at 6:30am. Mine do as well as ALL of my friends babies and kids.
This is a common time, for babies to wake. And even older kids.
Kids wake early.
For me, 6:30 is the norm and not early. Because, I am awake already.
I don't make my kids sleep later, if their natural clock, is them waking at 6:30am. That is just them.
Kids and babies, do not start waking up later in the morning, until they are Teenagers. Then, Teens sleep in until late.

Babies/kids/teens and Adults, simply do NOT all wake up at the same time in the morning.
Childhood.

I would go by your baby's cues for hunger and what he needs. Not what the Doc says about no bottles anymore.

Also, let your baby have a Lovey in his crib.
My son from 6 months old, had a lovey.
He'd rub it and that soothed him.
And, I had a couple of other baby safe stuffed toys in his crib too. Even if he waked, he'd be playing in the crib by himself for a bit. Until he then "called" for me. I KNEW his sounds and his cries, and whether it meant he was playing or needing me or was hungry. And many times, my son would just be babbling to himself and making noises... in his crib even if awake. But he was fine. He "played" in there and would call for me when he was ready. Or he'd have this rhythmic sort of 'cry'.... but I knew him and knew this was his tired cry and then he'd fall back asleep. If not, I KNEW he was hungry. So I nursed him.

Hunger in a baby, also varies. Daily and nightly. You can't always schedule it. If hungry, I just nursed my kids. I knew they were hungry.

Just let your baby wake, when he wakes. At that 6-6:30am time.
Why make him sleep longer, just to get him to CIO longer or to make it a point of it?
To me, your baby is waking per his natural waking up time.

When he wakes at 4:30, just feed him.
He's hungry. Then he will probably go back to sleep.

Sounds like you might need to pick your method and then stick with just that one. I'm a proponent of cry it out where you check on your little one after 15 minutes - to make sure she/he is dry and safe with a pat on the back and sweet words. But I do think it is important to let him sleep in his own crib and to set a wake up time that is early but not the crack of dawn. 6:30 is reasonable, but 4 anything is not natural. :) sounds like he is in a habit of waking because he knows you will check on him. as far as the hunger thing - I don't think that's usually the case. my daughter was sleeping through the night by one month when I did a dreamfeed at 10pm. I think our society puts a lot of focus on feeding that kids get used to eating and drinking whenever they feel like it. and sometimes it turns into a soothing prop. Hope you find the way that works for you and your son!

i had a routine w/ my son when he was a baby..he would wake at that hour..i would keep the room dark..put him on the changing table..head on a pillow so he was propped up a bit..then i would give him a bottle of breast milk..while i changed his diaper..he would drink the whole thing by the time i finished changing him..then i would put him back in his crib and leave the room..so i made sure he was dry and didn't poop himself and that he had food in his belly..this would make him sleep in til around 8am..do u have blackout curtains and white noise machine? sucks that he pulls your hair when u co sleep..ugh!
i used to fake a nap w/ my son..i would actually leave a wig and a pj top next to him and sneak out..i had lots of tricks..
i thought he'd think it was me if he saw a wig..lol!
worked a lot..
when i co slept w/ him when he was older i would put a body pillow between us so that he couldn't kick and hit me..u may need that in the future..
i would CIO in the morning but try my trick w/ the changing and the bottle..my son's teeth are fine..nothing bad came of it.

good luck

xo

D.

Pick a set time everyday to wake up (like 6:30) and at that point go in, open thE curtains, turn on the light and say "Good Morning!" And then walk over and pick him up. By setting up this routine, you and he will learn what to expect. Good luck Mama, it's not easy but so worth it in the long run.

I did a blend of what has been suggested. I couldn't stomach cio, so we did a modified version. First I had to resolve myself that I was doing it before I went to sleep (we also had a 4-4:30am unwelcome wake up call from our dd and I would cave if I had to decide at that early hour). I also warned the family this would take about a week.

When she would cry (we did use a binky, but she was never overly attached and gave it up without even a whimper) I would go in pat her back and walk out for 2 minutes, come in pat her a couple of times, leave for 5 minutes, back in to pat her, leave for 10 minutes. the longest she cried was for 20 minutes (i never left her to cry longer than ten minutes each) So it lasted about a half hour - which seems like a lifetime at that hour. It took 2 nites and though she continued to wake up at least 1 x per nite until recently (she's 3). As long as i pop in to see her, she will settle in and go back to sleep.

good luck! P.S. She is an early riser so I decided if she woke at 5am, that was not night time and I would let her watch barney or something from PBS (in our bed) while I slept another hour, anything between bedtime and 4:30 was considered nite.

I consulted with a sleep expert and my son would wake up, on the dot, at 4:30am. He would talk to himself, fuss a little but he would fall back to asleep. If he is waking at this time, it may be out of habit.
At this age, I believe she said that you need to give them at least 30 min of processing time (if they wake up) to go back to sleep.
Give it 3 days and see if he breaks throught that habit. Most likely he will (if you don't interrupt him). It takes 3 days for any baby to adjust to a new routine or schedule.
Also, if a baby wakes and cries, then stops, then cries, then stops....they are not ready to get up.
The natural 'clock' of a baby this age should be to wake up around 6:00a-6:30a, which means he should go to bed at this timeframe too (at night). If he is going to bed too late and they wake up between the hours of 3a-5a, it can also be a sign that they are overtired. Babies can sleep 12hrs/night at this age (if they are considered healthy babies). Both mine did (from 6:30p-6:30a).
Also, make sure he is getting enough food during the day (4 / 8oz bottles and bfast, lunch and dinner). Eating and sleeping go hand in hand..
Just some tips that I hope help. sounds like he is a pretty good sleeper! :)
Good luck to you! :)

Karin, I hear your frustration, I believe children/baby's should sleep in their own crib/bed. I know I am from the old school and when I had my children in the 80's I was told to never put our baby's in bed with us. I always rocked my baby's to sleep, I never put my baby's to bed crying or wide awake expecting them to put themselves to sleep, I know you younger moms are doing things way different these days, and it reminds me of the old saying if it's not broke don;t try and fix it, in saying that i mean, my husband and I never had the promblems/issues with sleep that a lot of young moms and dads are experienceing today, I think because falling a sleep feeling loved and nurtured created a more peaceful restful sleep so there wasn't waking up all hours of the night and early morning with ours. There is no reason for a 10 month old or any child to be up at 4:30 in the morning. As the parent you decide what time bed time is and what time getting up is and you stick with that, too many young parents are beinig controlled by their baby/child crying, we didn't play that in the 80's, baby's yes, but older baby's and toddlers no. You mentioned your son pulling your hair out to sooth himself, pulling hair out of someones head is violent, with all the things that can sooth a child to sleep that your child pulls your hair out, that has to be unacceptible. I have a question where is daddy while you are dealing with all of this? Bottom line sweetie you make the rules the schdules, and you inforce them. J.

Hey Karin,
What we have done is keep our son in his crib until his designated wake up time. We put toys and things to keep him amused until we get him. It did take a while for him to get into the routine, but now he is a champ. The best thing you can do is keep a consistent wake up time, nap times and bed time. Your child has an internal clock, just like us adults, and his little body will adapt to the routine (and actually come to like it). Our little guy will actually do the sign for sleep right around his bed time to let me and his daddy know it's time for him to go to sleep. :) It does work, just be consistent and persistent.

At 10 months old, he is old enough to learn that 4:30 in the morning is time for sleep. He is also old enough to learn that bottles are not appropriate at night. Stick to your guns. He will learn and your life will be MUCH better for it. He's not crying because he needs something, he's crying because he's learned that throwing a fit gets him what he wants; YOU. You've got to stop buying into that or your quality of life will seriously decline.

When he cries at that time, leave him alone. After a few nights of that, he'll learn that it's time to sleep.

It also sounds to me like your son it hungry. I'm not a fan of CIO either and I personally couldn't do it. I know the doctor said to stop the bottle but it does not mean you have to stop cold turkey. You need to transition to no bottles. Stop the daytime bottles first and keep the bedtime bottle. Once your son is used to using a sippy cup during the day you can transition to one at night. My son started solid food at 4 months because he was hungry all the time. He's 8 years old now and he can eat! I know different doctors have different theories on feeding but if the baby is hungry you should feed him. Maybe give him some cereal and a bottle before bed to help him sleep through the night.

Hope this helps! Good luck!