Child Doesn't Want to Try New Things

'Watch and see how it all works' is a learning style.
My son is this way.
The first quarter of every school year the teachers tell me they'd like him to participate more, and then the rest of the year they have a hard time getting him to shut up.
He has to observe how everything works before he'll jump in.
He's a perfectionist and doesn't like to make mistakes - even if he is learning something new.
His standards for himself are higher than I'd ever put on him.
Just have her in one activity at a time and let her take it at her own pace.
Many 4 year old s act exactly as she did on the soccer field - it's not just her.
Team sports are hard for everyone to pick up, so hold off on those till she's older (7 or 8).
Work with her learning style and things will come along a bit easier than trying to go against it.

She sounds too young to be involved in organized activities.

She shows an interest in soccer? How about get her a soccer ball and net to kick around the yard instead of signing her up for a class or team?

If she showed in an interest in baseball, would you put her on a team right away? I don't think so. You would get her a plastic t-ball set so she could hit balls in the yard.

You did right by the pool - she just wants to play in the water - not learn to swim yet.

So, stop jumping the gun. You're skipping a very crucial step to enjoying sports - playing in your own yard. Just because she might do cartwheels on the lawn doesn't mean she wants to be an olympic gymnast.

Bottom line, let her have some fun without wasting money on organized sports.

How old is she? Sounds like my 5 year old... only now, my 5 year old daughter won't do anything 'that requires running, getting dirty, or getting sweaty'... what a princess! My 7 year old runs circles around her. I told my 5 year old she has until the start of this coming school year to pick SOMETHING, or I will pick it for her.

You help her name her feelings and respect her limits. She doesn't *want* to be the kid who doesn't enjoy new things, but she's paralyzed. In the moment, or afterward, I would gently talk her through her feelings - was she feeling afraid of the activity (ball, water etc.)? anxious? embarrassed? afraid to fail? shy? overwhelmed? Whatever the negative feelings, help her to label them and let her know that those are totally normal and that she will get past them. Then let her know that knowing her own limits is OK and good and that you will always honor those feelings and limits when she expresses them and you won't ever make her do something that she doesn't want to do.

Then I would just let her join activities as an observer. So bring her to swim lessons, have her stuff ready to go (swimsuit, towel) but if she just wants to sit with you and watch, that's OK. For soccer, if she just wants to sit with you and watch that too, that's OK. Then maybe one day she'll decide that she wants to help the coach gather up the balls or put the cones out. Maybe another day she'll kick the ball, etc.

If she expresses interest in an activity, I would let her join but know that it might not go well and let the coach know in advance that she's reluctant and may be more of an observer than a participant. She's definitely not the only 5-year-old who is like this and as long as you help her recognize her feelings and respect them, and not make it into a big "thing" then she'll get past this in her own time. My oldest son was like this and he grew out of it.

As B said, observing closely is a learning style. There is a great article on this in this past Sunday's NY Times - it's in the Sunday Review section (used to be week in review). It is on exactly this topic.

My daughter is this way. Many steps: first we watch, usually many times, then I do it with her, then she tries, etc. Very slowly. She is this way with everything physical, just not except academics.

So I don't invest a bunch of money in what her interest de jour is, we spend time watching and then I ask her for a commitment, depending on what it is. Sometimes four weeks, other times eight. I think for this type of temperament, or at least for my daughter, a cerebral introvert, I think commitment pushes her to think beyond herself, but also gives her a chance to see if she REALLY enjoys something. I can then also praise the follow through, the attempt, a real try.

Hoping that the offering of the "very slow then commitment approach" helps.