Child Custody - Visalia,CA

Updated on March 28, 2012
K.F. asks from Visalia, CA
9 answers

Okay so me and my daughters dad came to an agreement to share legal custody but now i want to go back to court and file for solo legal custody because since the day she was born i have been a stay a home mom. I have been the one to make her doctor appointments and i have been the one that takes care of her. since we went to court and agreed to both have legal custody, my daughters dad has made it hard for me to schedual my daughters appointment for example he wouldn't let me schedual a dentist appointment for my 18month daughetr for no apperrent reason. plus i want her to stay with me when shes sick. Now what can i tell the judge so i can win the case?

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

I'm sorry K., but unless your ex is abusive neglectful a drunk, etc, he really does have as much right to parenting as you do.

I know it sucks. But if you don't relax and get used to it, you'll just be an angry stressed out mess.

:(

4 moms found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

You have no case - adjust and move on.

3 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Sorry but a dad has rights just like a mom.
Schedule her appointments during her time with you.
If he's sharing custody he should also learn how to care for her when she's sick.
Like Theresa N said, unless he's abusive you need to relax and get used to it :(

3 moms found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Nothing. You don't have any grounds for a change of legal custody like that.

How does your ex stop you from making a dentist appointment? My hubby would not be able to stop me from picking up the phone and scheduling an appointment so I am really at a loss as to how someone who doesn't live with you can stop you from making a phone call.

Hate to say it, but you're wasting both yours and the court's time.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

You are very fortunate that you are able to stay home with your daughter and not work outside the home while not married to him. It is unfortunate that you are trying to control the situation because things are not going your way. You have a long time ahead of you to parent with this man and it would benefit ALL of you to get along and co-parent. Dads are very capable of taking care of their ill children. Don't hurt your daughter by trying to hurt him.

2 moms found this helpful

M.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm sorry but your question comes off, in my opinion, as selfish. It rings like you want to have solo custody because you stay at home, not because you are a better parent.

If you both share legal custody the only thing you can't do is take her out of the country or move to another state without his consent.

Do what you need to do for your daughter, he doesn't have a legal right to approve or deny her medical care while she is in your custody.

1 mom found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Nothing you have put here will win your case. My ex likes to make appointments when I have the kids, just so you know it is annoying. I make all appointments for the time I have the kids and that is exactly what the judge will tell you.

You have a custody agreement, you will be happier if you just accept that.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

Hello, Unfortunately, you are going to have to give a little on this. I know that you think you are doing what is best for your children, however, if your ex is a good father, he should be able to take care of your children whether they are sick or well. As far as appointments, you should schedule them for when you have the children, or give him the date and time and allow him to take them.
Good luck.
K. K.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Um...nothing. There is no reason for him to not share in her major life's decisions and you being a SAHM doesn't mean that he has no rights.

Why do you consult with him regarding things like dentist and doctor's appointments? When my SD lived with her mother, her mom scheduled those things and took her. When we learned that she wasn't actually keeping up with her medical, dental and vision care, we scheduled her appointments and took her when she was with us for her weekend visits. Now we have custody and I certainly don't consult with her mother before taking her to have her teeth cleaned.

That said...if you have a specific reason to take her to the dentist, then take her but usually that's not needed until age 3 or older.

Regarding what to tell the judge, don't bother - you have no case.

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