Visitation for My Daughters Father.

Updated on August 30, 2011
H.M. asks from West Monroe, LA
16 answers

I have a 6 month old daughter and me and her father never married and are split up now. He works out of state and is up norht for 6 month with his new girlfriend. He wants me to send my daughter up there with him for 3 months. I dont feel comportable with her because she calls my baby her baby girl. Makes me very uncomfortable. He is threating to take me to court. What should I do.

He pays no child support didnt even when he was home. He is not on the birth cirtificate.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank you everyone. I fell better with the advice you all have given me.

Featured Answers


answers from Oklahoma City on

She needs visitation with her father, but it is a terrible idea to seperate her from you for more than a day or two. Start reading research on this topic and read about attachment issues.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers



answers from Boston on

Let him take you to court or better yet take him. No judge in their right mind will let a baby go for 3 months at a time. Do not send your child unless you have a court order without one he doesn't have to give her back. Call an attorney tomorrow morning!

9 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

I would call an attorney for a consultation (some do this free) about your rights. There are so many factors to be considered. States differ in what they allow or don't allow, but some would not even order an overnight visitation for a baby so young. If you are breastfeeding that also should be taken into consideration. Is he listed as the father on the birth certificate? Is he paying child support? Please contact an attorney, and do not agree to ANYTHING until you do.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

See what you can do about hiring a lawyer yourself - I really can't see how any judge will agree that having a baby that age away from her mother for 3 months is in the child's best interest. He probably is just bluffing to scare you, so call his bluff. Get an attorney and get everything in writing regarding custody, visitation, child support, etc. I hope he at least is paying you child support, and that you both realize that he must pay it, no matter whether you allow visitation or not. Him expecting to have her for 3 months straight at this age is just insane.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Biloxi on

Get an attorney and file custody and support decrees.
Don't let this drag out.
Don't let him bully you into an agreement that you are not comfortable with.
She is too young to go off for three months and without any kind of court ordered agreement he could decide not to bring her back.

Good Luck
God Bless

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Kalamazoo on

Nope. Absolutely not. You need a custody agreement. Pronto. There are services available if the cost of lawyer is holding you back. Do you live near a law school? Many have 'Law School Legal Advice Programs' that give free legal advice (usually not over the phone, but by appointment with law students that are under the instruction of practicing lawyers). If your income is beyond the cutoff for free "action" or their program doesn't provide advanced family law services, they are still an excellent referral service.

Go to your appointment with a list of questions. Ask them to explain the process of obtaining a custody agreement. What if the parents can't come to an agreement? What documents need to prepared before setting a court date? What supporting documents do I need to have ready for evidence (of my work, income, community/family support)? What programs, if any, should I get involved in, in my community, to strengthen my position? (courts in some jurisdiction care about how connected the child is to the community) Who would be the best people to approach for affidavits (swore statements, for example, extended family member who is available to watch the child 2 a week or whatever arrangement you have for child care) etc. Is there legal aid available for you? Who do you contact to find out if you qualify? What law firm/lawyer would they recommend? What other legal documents do need to have as a parent of a young child? (for example, who will take care of your child if you and ex were to pass away? What documents do you need to travel/cross borders with you child, now that you and your ex are not going to be traveling together etc)...for a few examples.

It may sound overwhelming, but please know that there are people and services available to help you navigate this process. Please don't let him "threaten" you with court. Arm yourself with the knowledge of the system and you'll be just fine.

The first step is gathering the information, and you're already well on your way. Good for you, and good luck!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Boise on

Unless you have some custody written up, I would not send her. My sister had a son, who the father from pretty much day 1 was not in picture. They were both 18. Fast forward, and he just turned 5. She never did custody thru the courts, due to he would only ask to see him on holidays & such, & she would take him over and stay so he could visit. They are both married to other people. He was out of blue asking to have visits with him. He had other kids now with his wife, so my sister thought why not. Be needs to know his dad, & now brothers. He took him for
few hour visit, and then when he was to return him back to my sister, he text to say he was not bringing him back. Something we learned his wife & him planned. He turned off phone & that was that. Our family freaked. She immediatly called police, and since he was father, no matter that he was not a part of his life up till now, he was the "father" & since no custody was ever set up, they could do nothing. 5,000 for lawyer, & 2 weeks later at court, she got him back. He did get every other weekend. That's it. After that I would never let my kids go unless I had some paperwork drawn up. Good luck.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Jacksonville on

Do you two have a written custody agreement? Do you have joint custody or...? I would speak with a lawyer and find out what your rights are. I would not want to send my 6 month old away for 3 months. That is ridiculous. IMO he is the one that moved away so he does not have the right to make demands. I could be wrong. Hope you are able to get this straightened out.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Rochester on

If he's not on the child's birth certificate, then he has no legal rights.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Charlotte on


1 mom found this helpful


answers from Cleveland on

it really isn't likely that he would go to court and win. DO NOT in any way keep his daughter from him, make her available, but 3 months away when she is so young is crazy, even school age kids the norm is only 4 weeks in the summer. Don't let court scare you though, if you are willing to let him see her and work with him, within reason then you aren't doing anything wrong. FYI though, in most cases your feelings against the new girlfriend aren't going to mean a dang thing in court (although it is in my court papers that the kids can not be encouraged to call anyone else mom or dad, but my kids do anyways and are old enough I don't bother to correct them)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from New York on


You need to set up a visitation schedule.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dothan on

Tell him, 'take me to court'...a 6 month old should not be out of state with a new gal pal & her bio...courts will agree, there are other ways for him to visit with his child...hold fast to your decision!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Birmingham on

With these circumstances, I would definitely not send my baby until I was told I had to do so. You don't mention if he has been paying child support. If he's not, tell him to go ahead and call the attorney because he owes you money.

*Also, if you send the baby to him without a legal agreement, who knows that he will return the baby to you.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

Let him take you to court then plead your case before the judge. The baby is too young to be away from you that long.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dothan on

Although I agree with everyone else that you need to consult an attorney, I am curious as to why her calling your daughter her baby girl makes you so uncomfortable. If she and the father of your child continue in a relationship, the more she loves your daughter, the better.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions