Can I Sue and Win?

Updated on April 01, 2013
B.H. asks from Glencoe, MN
31 answers

My future sister in law was getting married in this July. Her now ex went and called it all off exactly 4 months before the wedding. As a bridesmaid I had to pay for my non-refundable dress before I could order it. Can I sue him for the $170 since he called off the wedding and left everyone blind sided? Or do I suck it up and be done with it? 3 days before he left her he was still talking wedding and making plans so I hope I have a shot to stick it to him!!!! Also how do I start the process or where do I go?

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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

Oh my. Really? Just because you are pissed at him doesn't meant that he owes you the money you spent on a bridesmaid dress.

Would you rather he have gone through with the wedding and they went through a miserable divorce? This shouldn't be about you and you wanting to "stick it to him". He doesn't owe you anything.

14 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Oh come on, suck it up.

If these two weren't a good match, it's better to break it off before the wedding, rather than wait until afterward to break up, or worse, wait until after they had kids.

I like the idea of donating it for prom season.

11 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

It is kind of a given that a wedding can be called off so it is a risk you assume. Unless he signed a document saying if he calls off the wedding he will pay you for any wedding expenses you do not have a legal leg to stand on.

10 moms found this helpful

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M.O.

answers from New York on

The short answer is, no.

If he signed a contract stating "I hereby promise to marry your SIL on such-and-such a date, and I understand that you are purchasing this dress conditional upon the wedding to be," then you could sue him for breach of contract. But in the absence of a formal legal document, you have no legal standing.

More importantly, this must be a terribly hard time for your SIL. It's natural for you to be outraged on her behalf, but it's HER outrage & sorrow. And I think there's some etiquette around not hijacking other people's dramas. Let it go.

Oh, and ... sell the dress on Craigslist or eBay or something. Or take it to a consignment place. Then, use the funds to take your SIL out to a girl's night out or something. She deserves it.

17 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

You can sue anybody you want to for any reason you want to..... but really... for $170????

You'll spend WAY more than that filing the proper paperwork, going to small claims court, your personal time, and maybe just maybe get a judgement against him, hence.. judgement is no $$, just a judgement against him. The judge would probably laugh at you for trying something this silly.

I'd suck it up and help my sister through her heartache instead of being so angry and trying to get revenge. I can't believe you are an adult with the mentality of sticking it to him. Really?

This is prom season. Donate the dress and get a tax deduction or sell it online.

In the end, if you sue, you are going to look like the crazy one, not him... Do you really want to give him that kind of satisfaction?

14 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

nope. not if you didn't have something in writing.
if you think about, should he have gone through with the wedding just to make sure your money was well-spent?
it sucks, but there it is.
khairete
S.

12 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Can you sue? Yes.
Can you win? Maybe.
Will it cost you more than what you are trying to recover? Yes.

On top of that, you'd have bad feeling involved and that would be horrible if they patched it up eventually and ended up married anyway.
Just let it go.
'Sticking it' to anyone just reflects badly on you - and you aren't even the jilted fiance.
If asked to be a bridesmaid again (by anyone), don't accept if you can't afford to lose the money for the dress.
You paid for the dress - so keep it - and sell it on Criag's list.
That's the best way for you to get some of your money back.

11 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

Ugh...what a sue-happy society we live in...blech!

Bad things happen sometimes and we need to just get over them and move on!

Look at all this time you have spent wasting your energy and time thinking about how to 'stick it to him'....all over $170?

Imagine how your SIL is feeling getting dumped 3 days before her wedding?

11 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Don't add to the drama.

Sell the dress.. or consider donating as a prom dress to a charity, that way you can deduct it from your taxes. .

10 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

This would be small claims court. You will have to pay a fee to file. Then, even if you win...YOU would still be responsible for getting the money from him. Do you know WHY he called it off? Even last minute, it can be a completely legit reason. Wouldn't you rather the wedding be called off, then they divorce months later? It's not like he left her at the alter. It's 4 MONTHS.

He didn't cancel on YOU, I think you're being childish. "Stick it to him?" What are we....12? Let it go. Seriously. It sucks, but these things always end up being for a reason, and it always ends up being for the BEST. One day, you'll likely look on this as he did her a favor, just went about it the wrong way. You are being silly. Sell the dress, wear it somewhere, just don't act like a child.

10 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

April Fool's! (Right?...)

9 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from Miami on

No. You can't sue him. What would you sue for? He didn't "wrong" you in any way. You're annoyed, which I completely understand but this is going to cost you far more than $170 in legal fees. When you agree to be in a wedding, you agree to take on the cost. Would you sue him if they married and divorced 6 months later? Been there, done that... the $400 Vera Wang bridesmaid dress still hangs in my closet and I have (fortunately) worn in twice since their wedding, so my murderous rage over the costs associated with being in a VERY Southern wedding was tempered.

8 moms found this helpful
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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

No. You would have to go to small claims court and the fees and hassle would outweigh any award even if you won. I am a lawyer and I don't think that you have "standing." If anything, the prospective bride should be the plaintiff. I would donate the dress and take a tax deduction or sell it to a consignment store or something. It sounds like you should just be thankful it fell through before the actual wedding.

8 moms found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's so not worth it. Get the dress, don't alter it, and do your best to resell it. If you and the other bridesmaids can get together and sell them as a group, you have a pretty good chance of another bride buying them since they will all be identical matches (same dye lot, etc)

The situation sucks for everyone involved. Obviously the bride is hurting and, even though he's the one that left, the groom probably isn't at the top of his game either. Don't make things worse by bringing a lawsuit over $170.

7 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I guess you could try, but I personally wouldn't waste my time or money chasing down $170.

7 moms found this helpful

L.B.

answers from New York on

not really worth it for $170.

7 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

I wouldn't sue. Yes, it sucks that you are out the $170, but for me it wouldn't be worth it. I'd just move on and let it go. If it's a nicer dress you could still wear it somewhere else possibly.

7 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I personally don't think it's worth the time to pursue a civil suit over this amount. You have to factor in the time, the paperwork, the court fees.
You may get a judgement, but that doesn't necessarily mean he will pay you.

You can try selling the dress on Craig's list or e-bay or take it to a consignment shop. You'd have a better chance of retrieving some of your money that way.

Just my opinion.

6 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

ETA: You need to talk to the clerk of the courts for your county. Ask if the courts accept this type of small claims case, how much it costs, and what is needed - verbal or written agreement, etc.
_________________________

I'm sorry - are you suing your brother or your husband's brother?

Really? get the dress and sell it. You can recoup some of the costs. Why, really - WHY go to court over this? What are you going to gain by suing him?

Think about it. Why are you giving this guy so much power in your life? The anger that you are harboring against him -it's only hurting you - not him. You will stew in this anger and it will ROT YOU - not him...

You can take him to small claims court - but you'll have to pay fee, most likely, and ensure that the papers that you file include court fees in damages...but really? in my opinion? I would get the dress and sell it or donate it. But LET IT GO!!!

6 moms found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Let it go:) Be thankful that she didn't marry this guy if it wasn't right! Call and ask the store if you can get a refund (never hurts to ask!). If they won't take it back, throw it on craigslist. Just think how much you saved on hair, nails, gift, etc.

6 moms found this helpful
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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Interesting question. If anyone is responsible for deciding on expensive bridesmaid's dresses, it is almost certainly not the groom. This sounds like just a sad, bad, mad situation for all involved. I'm so sorry.

6 moms found this helpful
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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

If you lose, you'll be out court costs (yours and possibly his, depending on the judge) and that will probably cost you at LEAST $170. You really think it's worth the risk?

5 moms found this helpful
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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Nope. You actually can't sue in this situation. You didn't have a contract with your future brother in law, so it stinks that you're left with a dress that you don't want. Donate it so that someone else can have happiness!

5 moms found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

turn the tables. what if she were to decide this wasnt right and realized it...say even the day of the wedding. you wouldnt sue her would you. you were there to support the marriage. it didnt happen. its not something i would even consider suing over. more drama than its worth. petty and not good for your character/soul. move forward God said revenge is His. you dont need to stick it to him. You start with forgiveness.

5 moms found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Doesn't sound much different than paying hundreds for a dress, shoes (shower gift and wedding gift) to be in your best friend's wedding, only to have the friendship dissolve a few weeks after the wedding. There's no way one could ask for reimbursement for that. Donate the dress, or sell it as some others have suggested. Then forget about it. These things happen. At least he left her four months before, and not on her Wedding Day. Good riddance to him.

4 moms found this helpful

Q..

answers from Detroit on

Are you serious? Will you come do my laundry? I'll pay you...

4 moms found this helpful

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

I would just let it go. Small claims court I think has a minimum of $2500 dollars. I can understand everyone being upset that he called it off right before hand but if they got married and divorced a year or more later would you still be asking for the money?

I am sure your SIL is very upset but its better that it happened now then thousands of dollars and more heart break later in life.

4 moms found this helpful
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C.D.

answers from Atlanta on

Just like your other two posts I'd say the same - you can sell or wear it some where

The cost and headache of filing suit and going to small claims court just isn't worth it - unless you're hell bent on honing in on a point - but even this isn't really worth it.

You might want to mail him a note letting him know how this has affected you. I say mailing because it hits home more so when one receives a hand written and he's more apt to actually read it. -- just sayin'

3 moms found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Wow.
Stinks to be sure.
Make sure you wanna "stick it to him" enough that you're willing to pay to file in small claims court.

I wouldn't bother, nor would I give him the satisfaction of showing him it meant that much to you....

Prom season is right around the corner. List it on Craigslist for free to recoup some of your loss.

And, btw, you NEVER know if they're gonna patch things up O. day. Awkward.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I can't put it any better than Mira already did. Listen to her.

2 moms found this helpful
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