My ex sends me nasty emails constantly about all things I do wrong when I am with my children. He tries to control the time I have with them. These emails even got so bad I had my mom proof read them so that I wouldn't get upset every time I see them. But she has recently passed. We have been divorced 7 years and he has been remarried for 6 . Any suggestions on how to make the constant emails stop. Part of the email is about the children the other is bullying harassing and just plain nasty.
I have kept it all. Went through three attorneys but nothing ever brought to light on what he does only the petty things he has said I did. The system here favors policemen and people with money. I have neither. you are right abt seeking counciling for Me and I have. Just still stings. Worry more about what the children think when he tells them all these crazy lies.
Yes - make a request through the court that your ex can only communicate with you through something like our family wizard. That's a communication site designed to prevent these kinds of situations, as all communication is monitored by the court,
Does he hold a gun to your head and make you read them? You can't make them stop but you can sure stop opening them. Not sure why that hasn't occurred to you.
Free of charge I will give you my attorney's best bit of advice, the court cannot compel him to grow up.
D., Sounds like such a painful situation. What I suggest, based on your other question and your profile, is that it is time to shift your focus. You have bigger fish to fry than thinking about your ex's crappy emails. I would put all my energies into increasing your self-confidence as a mom by strengthening your relationships with your kids. I would get professional help to work on healing your pain from this toxic relationship with your ex. Once you feel better about yourself, his nasty comments won't mean a hill of beans to you! You owe it to yourself and your kids to get some emotional boundaries with this guy. Shrink his presence in your heart, mind, and soul. I know this is tough because you have constant contact with him for the kids. If you do the work to heal your inside and keep deepening the ties with your kids, his nastiness will become a subplot and not the main issue. He is not worth it! Blessings!!
You don't have to read, nor respond to them. If it were me, I would send my ex an email and say in it something like: From now on I will not be reading your emails if they continue to attack me and bully me. You can communicate info on how and what our kids did while they were with you but anything else is not necessary and I will not tolerate it. If you continue, I will file something with the court and attach copies of all the emails as documentation of you bullying and harassing me.
Keep a file of all emails. My husband and I ONLY communicate via email with our ex's for this exact reason. That way there is no he/said she/said because it's all in an email.
Just because he verbally attacks you does not mean you need to respond. As far as the kids go, when they are old enough, they will understand there are 2 sides to every story. Make sure you do NOT bad mouth him in front of them. They will see for themselves eventually. Good luck.
Either send them into a folder where they remain until you choose to go and open them or simply block him. Let him know he isn't going to control your time.
I assume that he has custody and you have visitation so you don't want to rock the boat or you'd have taken care of this 6-7 years ago. If you just want to have your kids and do what you want then just ignore him. Let him take you to court for not talking to him. Then you should have a complete list of every email he's sent you with the particularly rude parts highlighted so the judge doesn't have to hunt for them.
If your mom deleted them then you're sort of up the creek because you have no proof he's doing anything wrong.
I'm sorry about the passing of your mom.
Your husband's nasty messages can only bother you if you let them. I know it is easier said than done but take the emails for what they are worth...nothing.
If his contact is harassing - then I'd keep copies of the emails and show them to your lawyer and ask for his/her advice on how to proceed.
As for getting upset when you see them - I get it, it must suck. Personally, I'd keep my cool and stay above it, and just let the lawyer send him a warning letter.
I'm not divorced so not 100% sure but isn't there some kind of statement regarding contact that they include? Sounds to me like he would be violating this.
See, first of all, if your custody agreement says anything about parental alienation. You can go to an attorney or a mediator if you need to. They can either set up a meeting or, if he is in violation of your agreement, notify him that a hearing can be held. It depends on how your agreement was set up.
And no, you don't have to read them all. I see that you have answered your own question below to say you are saving things - that's good. FYI the very best way to add info like that on Mamapedia is to EDIT your original question rather than to respond to it like all the other members. (Just click to edit your question, than add at the bottom "ETA" or "Edited To Add". You can also use the "So What Happened" section - that will keep all your info in one place for responders to see.)
His nastiness says a lot more about HIS shortcomings and limitations than about you. I'm sorry your mother has died - that was your support system. But just because you feel alone doesn't mean that you have to put up with nonsense. And just because he makes claims doesn't mean he is right. There are all kinds of people ranting on TV and the internet, but you don't let them get to you.
Get some counseling so you have someone on your side and an objective person to help you develop a strategy for dealing with this.
