Bullying - Medway,MA

Yes I have, a boy in school was bulling my son, also third grade. I marched my self up that school, straight to the principals office. And then made sure the superintendents office knew what was going on. And believe me, I made sure they knew I was serious. And believe me, if this boy touched my son, he had permission to whack him back and defend himself. You should be totaly involved, your son is only 8 or 9. Good luck and go stick up for your baby!!!

Hi B.,

Here is my advice.. You should NOT trust that the school is handling it. In my experience schools only handle issues like this when you make it known to them that you are taking this serious.

Step 1: Get into the school asap don't call first, just show up and start with the guidance counselor explain everything, including how you feel that the school is not handling the issue. Let him/her know you will not tolerate this and it's their job to keep your kid safe even from verbal threats.

Step 2: Call the boys parents, talk, see what your vibe is. Start with something easy, "hi, this is --- mom, i just thought you would want to know that --- threatened to bring a knife into school, i don't know if this is a normal behavior for him but i wanted to let you know about it" this way you are not "attacking" their child. Explain the situation and let the other parent know that you will not tolerate this, and that you have spoken to the guidance counselor already. It is tricky if you don't know them and usually behaviors like this start at home so dealing with the parents is not always easy, but it also could be fine - you never know.

Also, if your son was saying something like this and another parent knew wouldn't you want them to call you? To let you know? maybe they have no idea.

Step 3: Follow-up with the school, with your son - have they done anything, has the child stopped etc., etc.,

And remember that this kid might have just been having a bad day, or maybe somebody threatened him first. You don't know the entire situation only what you heard from your son's point of view - so keep an open mind. Also this kid might be serious, he might really bring a knife to school sounds far-fetched but nowadays it's not - so you can't let it go. Make the school hear you. Good luck!

I've never been in this situation, but I did teach high school and I know if there was any reports of a child threatening bodily harm and weapons in school the police were called!! I would not let it drop but ask them exactly what it will take for them to take this seriously? Does a child have to get hurt? That will light a fire under them a bit, in light of all the school violence. Perhaps they have done more they have not told you about, but as a concerned parent, you should be told if it has been addressed!

Hi B.,
I think you are right on that this situation needs to be taken seriously. If your principal cannot or will not tell you what has been done about this, then I would call the superintendent. I think, considering that your son is being bullied, you have the right to know that a)his teacher knows what's going on and is on top of the supervision in the classroom, b) every teacher in the school that has this "bully" at any time is aware to be on guard, and c) that the child's parents have been contacted about the situation. I believe it is the school's responsibility to make sure all these things happen. As far as you contacting the other parents, I would be hesitant, only because you don't know what kind of people they are, so it would be somewhat of a risk in today's sick world. But if the school won't do anything, I'd probably take the risk, because ultimately, you are the protector of your children. Ever considered homeschooling? :) Good luck.

hi B.!!If I were you i would call and ask to have an appointment/meeting with the principle and let him know whats going on,and that you have called twice and have gotten nowhere with your issue,this is unacceptable!!.How can they "keep there eyes out"at all times??The world is crazy now, and you never know what this childs home life is like so,i dont think you should call the parents,the school should!!And besides its the schools responsibilty!!I feel sorry for you and your son,thats not fair to have to go to school like that!!I hope this gets resolved so you dont have to hold your breath everyday wondering if your child is safe,good luck and hope you call now!!let us know!!!!

B., sorry your family has to deal with that. I understand the feeling when you put your kid on the bus and watch him drive away, somedays it feels like your sending him off to the wolves, its worse when you know the only ones who can help him in your abscense are not taking it seriously! do they not read the paper or watch the news! Any violent threat is serious and they need to be too. I feel bad for the 8-9 year old kid/bully who feels so bad about something in his life that he is acting out with such anger. He may have a "diagnosis" of ODD or Asbergers, both as you know from being a nurse, make this kid impulsive with violent tendencies, it also means the school gets more money from the state with him in school! If it were my son I would want to know, but who knows what this kids deals with everyday at home. I would call the principle and say you are not comfortable with how they are handling this situation, re-introduce the the threats made and say you want something done about it immediately, make sure they contact the parents and school counselor - put your concern in writing and cc the superintendants office.

We had to deal with a bully early on in my sons pre-school (a public integrated pre-school)...the teacher met me at the door one day at pick up time and told me there was an "incident" one of the boys put his hands around your sons neck and squeezed" I told her that where I come from thats called strangling! I pulled my son out of the program because it was taken so ligtly. That incidence was preceeded by verbal threats from this boy to my son and other kids - all I could think was what if this kid intentionally trips my son and he smacks his head on something or if he gets his "hands around his neck and squeezes" when no teacher is close by (the bully had ODD) Schools don't get it...this same boy is in first grade with my son now - yes they actually put them in class together!
Do not feel your over-reacting, don't listen to people say kids will be kids. Tell your son what I tell mine when he has been bullied and tells me he is going to bully back out of anger...I say "he who angers you, controls you" he gets it and ignores mean kids. He also has my permission to defend himself if need be. Good Luck! L.