Brother and Sister Fighting Constantly

My son and daughter are 2 years apart and fight constantly too - they also are great friends and love to play with each other. I've talked to lots of other moms and it's the same story. One friend told me "I knew there would be nothing I could ever do to stop their fighting when we went to the beach in florida and they fought over sand."

I separate my kids if they fight - each has to go play alone in their rooms until they decide they can get along. I don't listen to whose fault it was I just tell them if they can't talk things out they need to stay apart. This works great for us.

I know it's frustrating but I think it's pretty normal. Have you tried reading the book "siblings without rivalry"? It has some great suggestions. Good luck.

If he says he has more milk than she does I would take his milk away completely and say "Now you don't have any"

If he says he has a later bedtime than she does make him go to bed a half hour early and let her stay up.

Show him his mean behavior will not get him anywhere.

Hi, L.. Our two children (a boy aged 11 and a girl aged 10) are just a year and 10 days apart in age. This means they are either best friends or worst enemies. There's no middle ground with them.

One thing that helped us reduce the bickering between our two children is to get up and leave the room whenever it started. We would say, "It sounds like the two of you need some privacy." If we were driving in the car, I would find the safest place to pull over, then get out of the car and go lean against the hood with my back to them.

I think one of the "payoffs" of the bickering is the attention and reaction we give them when it happens. When that attention is withdrawn, the behavior often stops.

Another thing we have done to stop the fighting and rivalry is to consequence both of them equally whenever they clash. I don't let them pull me into a discussion of "who did what to whom first." Instead, I send them both to their rooms. Almost every time I do this, they end up getting together in one of their rooms to play. It's amazing!

Good Luck, same here, let me know if you get any advice that works OK?

Hi L.
I agree with beth. You can not let him get away with this if you think it is unacceptable then it is, and there needs to be a consuqence for his behavior. When this happens in our house they are sent to there room to think about what they did. when they come down they need to tell me why they were in there room. Then tell there sibling they are sorry. We dont have this issue much anymore.:) Good Luck T.

Hi there!

All I have to say is that my kids used to fight all the time too. It wasn't until recently that they started getting along. They are now 18 & 21.

I'll share with you a little secret:
A little healthy competition goes a long way. Let me explain.

We have been trying to get our son to go to college. He has been working part-time and struggling. He has paid for whatever he has. He is a wonderful young man.

But if it weren't for this healthy competition he wouldn't be starting college next week. I asked him why he decide to go to college now. He looked at me and said, "Mom, I am not going to have my younger sister go to college before I do."
Our daughter graduates this summer. She has an action plan and wants to go to college.

Our daughter is very independent and has a strong spirit. She is a fire ball. (my hubby)

Our son is very layed back, quiet, reserved. (me) LOL

We heard all that too. How come he got to open more presents than I did, how come he can stay up later than I can, how come his galss is fuller than mine, how come this, how come that? etc. etc.

But they are the best of friends now. Enjoy it now. Love them to pieces. Because they do grow up and go out on their own.

Be patient and just know that it is sibling rivalry.
I came form a family of 8. My father came from a family of 13. My hubby came from a fmaily of 10. There was a lot of that going on! LOL. It does get better.

They'll be fine.

J.

From my experience, mother of five, with many many children in our extended family, I must say that I've seen that harder they fight the closer they will become when they are older. My sisters fought CONSTANTLY, and always tried to put me in the middle of it, and now that we're all adults, they call each other at least two, three times a day and I'm lucky if I get a call once a week! lol. Children learn how to deal with arguments, etc and this is one way they learn from. If it's only bickering about small things, I'd say it was normal. If it gets abusive or mean or namecalling, I'd have to say have a talk with the older child. Two words that are never allowed to be spoken in our home are : "Shut Up." Hope this helps.

May be the oldest child feels he has to compete for your attention. Try some one on one time with both kids.