Breastfeeding Bummer

my last 2 babies i was unable to breastfeed. My #2 child wont not latch on and my #3 did, but I lost my supply because of stress related things (she spent 10 days in the NICU) My #2 is 2 yrs old now and healthy happy child, and my baby is growing like a weed. Yes I felt bad too and I wished that I could have had that time with them, but in the end they decide what they want to do and its ok. Dont let other moms get you down either, the ones that think breastfeeding is the only way to go. They are only babies once and worrying about what they eat isnt as important as they getting to eat. Good Luck and Congratulations!! You're a great mom!

you can still breastfeed! if your milk has completely dried up, you would have to start re-lactating which could be a long process, but it's been done! i would contact a lactation consultant, start eating oatmeal often and drink plenty of fluids. to re-lactate try to latch baby on before every feeding of formula, just to get him reintroduced to the idea. let him nurse as often as he will allow. some babies are natural latchers as they age. a friend of mine couldn't calm her formula fed baby after 2 hours of crying so she put him to the breast and at 1 month old he latched on like a pro. she quit initially because of latching problems and was able to re-lactate! also try investing in a good pump and pump as much as you can. if you are really serious about re-lactating, there are people that can help get baby latching (my daughter had some major problems with latching but was remedied with a few visits to the lactation consultant). re-lactating can be difficult and inconvinent, it's no easy process but i've never met a woman that regretted her decision to go through with it :) if you have any other questions, let me know!

Hi sweetheart! I think it's enough that you care so much. Obviously you love your baby very much and that will keep your little boy healthy and safe. This just happens sometimes. Some babies have a difficult time with breastfeeding. The stress that the two of you were feeling was real and now you won't have that to distract you from having a wonderful time as a mother.
My daughter breastfed for almost a year, but my son just stopped at four months. I sat in our rocker with him all day, while he cried from hunger but still refused to eat and I cried out of dissipointment. He is a strong, happy, and very smart boy now.
I say don't worry about it. Your baby needs you to be happy. That's more important to him than anything.
Good luck to you! K.

M.,
Don't be bummed! You feed him for some and that will count. I know it is hard. I have six kids and each one was different when it came to breastfeeding. My oldest was premature and I don't think I ever really had my milk come but, I did pump for a few weeks so, he got some at least. Then my next two I feed between 6-9 mos. The fourth I feed for a year, the fifth for 17mos and my youngest just quit here at 9 mos because she wasn't gaining a lot and I really have never had a lot of luck with pumping. So, I just wanted to congratulate you on the time you did feed and pump.

I wish you the best and to enjoy your little boy!

A.

I understand the feeling of failure when you can no longer breast feed. With our first child, it was so stressful, we had experienced a loss, and though I pumped and consulted with nurses and lactation specialists, my milk dried up after a couple months...then with my second, he was such a poor little sucker, that my milk dried up even more quickly. I cried for a long a time, hormones and all that. The thing thats important to remember though, is that Riley has had a good month of breast milk, and thats awesome. You need to just go easy on yourself, no small task as I remember. What you have provided him with is a great boost to his immune system. Though it would have been nice to actually breast feed for the first year of life like I planned, I realized, that I did everything I could, and it was just out of my control. Its the same thing with you. Good luck with everything.

Dear M.,
I know how you feel about breastfeeding. Everyone kept telling me just get through the first few months, and it gets easier. Well, they were right, but it was so hard. My best advice to you is to find a lactation consultant or breastfeeding group to give you extra support. I remember that I was nursing my son practically round the clock, because he was so colicky and fussy! It felt great to have supporters around me to help me through it. At the same time, my best friend was trying to nurse her son, and her milk supply was so low that she finally had to give it up. I know she felt guilty about it, but we told her that she doesn't love her son any less, it just wasn't working for her. Breastfeeding has worked out great for me, and I think it is the best choice for babies, but I also don't feel like you should bad if it doesn't work out for you. Find a La Leche group or contact your hospital. You shouldn't have to feel bad about it! Congrats on your new baby! My little guy will be one in 2 weeks. It goes so quickly! T.

M.-
This happened to me with both of my girls! With my first I was so upset, and again with the second...However after I thought about it there was no point in being frusterated about the whole thing and that was making feeding be miserable. Just enjoy the time with your new baby and since your not breast feeding you can make dads day and include him in on the fun.

Just remember that even though breastmilk has awesome benefits that cannot be dublicate, there are definatley advantages to formula feeding. You know how much they eat, they eat more and less often so you can get more sleep at night and they put on more weight more quickly.

Some women choose not to breastfeed at all, you should feel good about yourself for trying!

I am an RN and the same thing happened to me. All of my friends breastfed for up to a year and I felt like a complete failure. My daughter is 2 now and completely smart and healthy. Don't beat yourself up over it. I did for a year and it wasn't worth it. I am 5 monthes pregnant again and if this baby latches on great, but if not I am just going to enjoy her first year!! Not being able to breastfeed doesn't make you any less of a great mommy!

I feel your pain. With our daughter, I was only able to breast feed for 8 weeks and was unable to pump. I was crushed and felt I had let her down and had failed as a mother. Thankfully, my mother was there for me. She was never able to breastfeed my sister or myself because we were born so premature. I have to tell you, my daughter is now 19 months old an extremely healthy, thriving, and my little beast. You have not failed. You can still love and bond with your child and be a fabulous mother. Breatfeeding is the not the most important bonding you can do with you son. Being his mom and loving him everyway possible is. Cuddling all you can will help. Just love your child and you have succeeded. No one can take that from you!

HI!!
Don't get too bummed out! With my oldest daughter (just turned three), I nursed her for exactly two months. My milk just seemed to dry up. I was very disappointed, but my doctor put me to ease telling me my body "was done." With my last child (8 months), I wanted to nurse. She seemed to have a hard time latching on. It was very painful physicaly, but emotionally as well. I was like you and wanted her to have the benefits of breast milk, and I was worried about how not having it would affect her health. My doctor had me try "breast sheilds," which help extend your nipple, and the poor baby still had a hard time. So I turned to pumpimg, and once again, it was like my body just dried up! She was only three weeks old!!! I felt so awful at first, I felt like I could have done more. But I realized that I gave it my best shot, and it just wasnt going to happen. So dont get down on yourself. If you know that you tried your best, than thats all that matters. Thats what being a mother is about; making the best decisions you can. So maybe this will help, maybe not. I just wanted to let you know that your not the only one!!

Hi M.,

My name is also M....and I understand your frustration, I too had a hard time breastfeeding my 1st baby. I did not successfully breastfeed until my 3rd baby...if you plan on having more. Make the most of your feedings with Riley by snuggling close to him while you give him his bottle. I can tell you that while you may feel sad it's really okay...you did not fail, you did your best and there will be more chances.
Next time you can take advantage of resources in the community...I also had a hard time getting my 4th baby (born October 2006) to latch on properly and I told WIC services and they gave me a certificate for a free electric pump for 2 months to keep my supply up while I fed him breastmilk.
The best advice I personally can offer you M. is not too feel like a failure, you did not fail...there is a reason for everything. Just tell your baby how much you love him everyday and keep your spirits up.

You are a WONDERFUL mother!! You tried and that is what matters. I used to feel the same way. I did breastfeed for six weeks, but it was painful the entire time and she was latching on correctly (I saw a lactation consultant more than once). I could breastfeed fine on one side, but not the other. Anyways, I stopped also and my babies are both fine! You did the best that you could and nobody can expect anymore than that. Don't be so h*** o* yourself! :)

M.-
Breastfeeding is very challenging for everyone. It's good you stuck with it for a little while though any amount of breastmilk is good. There is not a whole lot of support or correct information for mothers about breastfeeding so its a pretty uphill battle. If it's something you are totally determined to do though make sure you get all the education you can before your next baby and then you can be completely successful. My daughter would not nurse for 2 months and I was so thankful I had a hospital grade pump so my milk did not dry up. I finally got her to nurse after many problems. So if I can do it anybody can with enough determination. I found it helpful to get info from other mothers that had problems.
Brekka

I know exactly how you are feeling. I went through this with my first born. I didn't even make it a whole month because my son couldn't latch on at all! We could only nurse with a nipple sheild and he was fussy all the time. I too pumped and gave it to him in the bottle but with pumping and feeding and pumping and feeding ALL DAY we couldn't have a life outside of the home and I was so sore from pumping. I also think it was a big contributer to my post partum depression because I felt like such a failure from not sticking with it! I know it's hard, but you have to remind yourself that some breastmilk is better than none and you gave him a whole month! And regardless of what people say, formula fed babies grow up to be just as healthy and smart. Both of my children turned out great and hardly ever get sick. You can still snuggle and cuddle and bond on the bottle, too. You did a great job going through all that work just to give him what you feel is best, but you are most definately NOT a failure. Try to focus on what you did do and how much more you'll be able to enjoy each other now that you're both not struggling with this all day. You are going to be a great mom! Send me a message if you want to talk.

First, you are not a failure. Some people just can't breastfeed and both of my sons were bottle fed. They are fine. You did so for a month, he got the best part of your milk.
Now, your husband can kind of help with the feedings.

M.,
Please don't feel like a failure. Breastfeeding is very difficult and with out the proper support can be very frustrating. It sounds like you did your best. Chalk this one up as a first-time mommy lesson. I found that a strong support team is crucial to breastfeeding. A ped and my ob doc were very supportive. My step-mother was my rock. I turned to her when ever I felt like quitting. You are a great mother, and it sounds like you care alot for your son. Be happy that you have a healthy child, and treasure each day with him. They grow so fast. Don't spend your time regretting what you did or didn't do. And don't let others make you feel bad either, they did not live your exprience and do not know the challanges you faced. Every mom and every baby are differant. Your next baby may be a breastfeeding pro. Keep your chin up and focus on your little guy!

Listen...don't feel like a failure just because breast feeding didn't work out for you...some mothers can never breast feed for multiple reasons...the one thing to remember is that your baby needs one thing and that is love and care from it's parents...So don't feel bad because you can't breast feed..just give the baby the love it needs and everything will be just fine

You should talk to your doctor about taking reglan. It is normally for nausea but it works to help bring your milk in. It is worth a shot. Hope this helps.

M.,
I can't give you any advice about "drying up". I can tell you though that you are a new mom and that it's a lot of hard work. Nothing new there. There are, beleive it or not, breast milk banks.(like blood banks) That you can look into. It's hard being a new mom, but you can do it. Just remember that you are a new mom and you can't do everything. It's okay.Toy are doing the best that you can. Enjoy your little boy. Because before you know it he'll be off to college. And congrats on you engagement.

Hi M.:
I am really sorry that you had to miss out on such a wonderful bonding experience with your son. I am also sorry that you feel like a failure. You tried for a month with no success so at least you tired. I would talk with your doctor about this. Maybe there is a way to make your supply come back, the human body is after all capable of a lot. If you have more children and decide to breastfeed then I wish you all the luck in the world. Just dont give up hope, breastfeeding is after all one of the most indescribable bonding experiences that i have with my son. Have fun with your new baby, they really are a gift from God!
K.

I personally don't have any specific advice, besides DON'T GIVE UP! YOU CAN DO IT!

But I did want to suggest (highly recommend!) that you talk to either a lactation consultant (ask about her credentials) or to a la leche league leader. I personally have had better luck with LLL leaders, but whatever you can find. IT CAN BE DONE!!! (I've heard wonderful stories about adoptive mothers who were able to bring on lactation and nurse their adopted babies... YOU CAN DO IT!!!)

Don't beat yourself up. That's not going to help anybody. You did what you could and if it helps, it's more than some mom's have done and less than others. Remember that the colostrum is very important and he got that. What's most important is that he has a mom who loves him and wants the best for him. Breastfeeding is hard. You tried and then did what you needed to do to get by.

From what I have been told you can still try. Get ahold of WIC, they have people that specialize in breastfeeding and they can help you get him latched on right and it will bring your milk back.

Hi M.. My advice to you would be to remember, it's not a contest. No one is keeping score, and you don't get any points for breastfeeding.

It sounds like, to me, that you really wanted to breastfeed, and you tried all you could to accomplish that, but it didn't work. You most likely had this picture painted in your mind of what it would be like to nurse your baby, and when that didn't happen, it was very disappointing.

Well, try not to be too sad! Your baby sounds happy and healthy, and more than anything he needs you to be that way too. Pat yourself on the back for being a great mother and giving it your best shot, and then move on.

I agree with the other person that said to snuggle him close when you feed him, even try to do it where he can feel your skin on his. Your baby will be fine, and he'll be even better if you can just chalk it up to one of the millions of "best laid plans" that fell through because your baby has different plans than you do!

I know how you feel because I couldn't breastfeed with my first either, but everything worked out fine and she's a happy, healthy, almost 12 year old!

Good Luck!