Breastfeeding Advice for Mom of 2 & a Half Month Old with Mastitis

My ds is 8 weeks -- I've had a clogged duct three time in my left breast and my production on that side is basically nil. My ds is refusing that breast so I have weaned him off that side and am supplementing breast feeding with formula. It is my understanding though that one side can make enough to support his needs. I just have a low production and can't increase it no matter what I try.

S.,
Hi my name is K. and I am a board certified lactation consultant. I love giving advice and helping moms suceed with BF. The best thing you can do for mastitis is massage your breast(do it in a circular motion starting at the armpit, this will help break things up and get the milk flowing) and do it with every feeding. Nurse on demand and don't limit feeds at the breast(let the baby decide when he is finished with one side then switch), remember frequent feeds with massage. Also put warm compresses on 10min or so before nursing(this will help the milk come down). I know you are stressed and overwhelmed but I want you to suceed. You expreesed wanting to nurse exclusively for 6 mon so try to keep that goal in your head. If you give up I feel you may later be too h*** o* yourself. If you can't get him to latch after the warm compresses have been on try breast massage before you latch and continue massaging during the feed. Another thing you can try is: if your areola is to hard for him to latch, put the pump on that breast for about 3 min. to help the milk flow and massage during. If you start skipping feeds and pumping you will make less milk because the baby demands more from you than the pump does(studies have proven that) and if you can, try not to supplement with formula( that will decrease milk volume too, because the baby is missing a feed and is not demanding at the breast). Think DEMAND & SUPPLY. With your nipples being sore try the football hold because you can see the latch well in this posistion(you cna also pull down on his chin for a wider latch. A sore nipple is usually the result of position or the baby needs to open wider. At 3 mon. he will have another growth spurt so don't panic if he is on the breast all the time. He nurses alot to meet the demands of the growth spurt and then the supply is just right for his needs. Try doing some skin to skin too. This helps increase milk supply. You got lucky with your first 2. Most moms do develop a BF issue at some point in their BF career, it does not matter if they are a new mom or experienced. I really hope this was helpful for you. If you get a chance please respond and let me know if I helped. This just helps me to be a better LC. I gave all this BF advice to you because It sounded like you do want to BF exclusively but are very stressed. Support is key with BF.
Get your 2 daughters involved with the baby. This will help them feel needed and a sense of achievement. They can help you change the diaper, change clothes, pick out his outfit for the day, rock him, talk to him. Your girls can even do supervised skin to skin with the baby(maybe not your 2yr old ). I have alot of younger siblings do that and they love it.
With your husband the best thing you can do is tell him how you are feeling. He can get involved too by massaging your breast when the baby is on, doing skin to skin with the baby, whatever you think he will like. It is important for him to support you with your BF decision. Let him know it is difficult for you this time around. I would not be in the sex mood either if I was you. Tell him you need a little support. If he is willing to do that I think you will be more into having sex because you will feel supported and less overwhelmed. He needs to give you some time to feel calm.
Since, you are feeling "in the dumps" I would maybe join a moms support group or BF support gp. La Leche League meetings are good. You can also go on lactnet and chat with other moms. Usually 6 weeks is the length of time the baby blues last(which are normal) and you are a little past that but also have alot going on. Just watch yourself and make sure your emotions don't esculate. PP depression is common and many of my friends have had it. Be sure to let a family member know how you are feeling or a good friend. They can then watch for signs for PP depression which sometimes moms can overlook because you are so busy.
If you want to talk write me back and we can exchange phone numbers. Sometimes moms just need some extra support. I am also a PP doula so I have a lot of experience in the things you are going through.
I hope I helped and believe me , you are not alone.
You are a great mom!
K. J

Hi S., I feel your pain right now. When my son was a few weeks old I got mastitis for the first of three times. he had reflux though not thrush......Then I had surgery and it went down hill from there. The one thing I wish is that I HADN"T given him formula. I know you can supplement, but I don't think that a few bottles is going to make the situation any better. You still don't get a break you are just feeding differently.
The pain and lump will go away, and so will your feeling of exhaustion, and the overwhelmed feeling you get too. You just have to take a deep breath and give it time. Don't worry about doing everything perfect.....and seriously don't worry about satisfying your man. He will get over it.....you and your kids come first.....he will be taken care of later... Take it one day at a time. Who cares if you are still in your jammies and the only thing everybody ate today was cereal.....you survived and thats all that counts.
I do understand how you feel, I felt the same way and when my son was 10 1/2 wks old after everything I was going through and nobody telling me to keep at it, it would get better, I chose to put my son on formula permanently. I regret it everyday. I nursed my daughter for 14 months and I lost all that bonding time with my son. It really isn't the same with a bottle, no matter what anybody says. He is happy and thriving and healthy. But that nursing bond is gone.
The choice is still yours and what ever you decide take the time to make sure it is right for you before you do it. If you have even the littlest feeling that you don't want to give up nursing....don't..... just give it time. You'll see that things will get better.
I hope that you are able to find your way.
Good luck,
T.

Hi S.. Girl, I've been there. My 3 month old and I went through a two month struggle with thrush and it was horrific. I had thrush and mastitis with my 6 yr old as well. If it had not been for a breastfeeding coach on the phone with me at many different times a night I would have quit. As proud as I am about hanging in there until my 1st son was 11 months, I'm not so sure I'd tell everyone to run that frustrating race. I later became one of those breastfeeding counselors through a non-profit program and I did my best to encourage women to stick with their wonderful choice of nursing.To you, I have to say that with the demands of three little ones and the way that you sound...sweetie, you're overwhelmed. Never feel guilty for making a switch from breastfeeding to formula. That darling baby of yours needs a healthy mentally whole mommy. We often tend to beat ourselves up when we can't nurse, but I am so sure that your son will love the tender affection and care he'll get from you no matter your option. I am still nursing my newborn after the long thrush struggle, However, I only have two children, my oldest is a mature helpful six year old, and my husband is very careful about his timing in approaching me sexually. If I had three small ones I'd be a bit more frustrated myself. DON'T GET DISCOURAGED!!! You're not Superwoman. Every one of us have probably felt that pull that you described. I did just yesterday. Find a way to refresh yourself. Prayer is my way, planning date nights with my husband, even listening to motivational teaching or preaching by CD (can't get to a good book with two kids, a husband and a fitness career).
S. you're in my prayers. Lift that head of yours and make the decision that best suits your life. Can you hang in there for three more months as you hoped, or do you need to find a great formula that'll come close. I know you'll choose wisely. Also talk with your partner about your feelings. It may sound crazy but you might want to plan sex for a while to keep you mentally prepared for it. Get a sitter, go out to do something inexpensive and romantic, then come back to end it with a night of making love. Perhaps that may work better than another "oh yeah can I get some" moment. (right after one has been on the breast the other has been crying about a toy, and the other just finished making a mess all over the floor!!!)You're not gonna be in the mood. WEll I've blabbed enough.Hope this helps. Sincerely, S. Jones

S.,
Whew! You really do have your hands full :o)

One thing that helped me out, was putting a heating pad on the affected breast as often as I could. Also, in the shower, let really hot water run on it and gently massage the breast toward the nipple. It took me two or three days of this, but it did clear. In the meantime, pump as often as you can.

Have you ever heard of the book, "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding?" That has helped me out tremendously through breastfeeding my son and now my daughter.

Good luck!!
L.

Hi, I can only imagine how difficult things must be having 3 babies under 5 years old. I have 2 under 5 and its a hand full!I hope my advice helps you out.
First for the breastfeeding, I had a similar issue with my second and it is very painful. The best trick I found was to really let my breast run under the hot water in the shower and try to massage the blocked glands to get the lump out and the milk flowing, sometimes a nice hot bath or even a really hot cloth on the breast will help, once the milk starts to flow a bit then try to massage some out so your breast can retake its shape and the little one will be able to latch on.
This is going to sound bad but you might want to ask your hubby to try to get it flowing, his suction is much stronger than the babies and he might be able to help you out, in a non sexual way ofcourse or not whatever works for you guys hehehehe. :)
As for the soreness of the other breast there is a wonderful creme called lanoline which was a god send for me, its non toxic so you can put it on and it won't harm the baby and it helps to heal the nipple and take away the pain.

Its normal to feel overwhelmed, you have 3 very small children,, I would recommend leaving the home for a couple hours here and there, take the smallest one with you because you're breast feeding but leave the other two with daddy and go walk around the mall or have coffee with a friend, do something for you. We as mommies all need some ME time, so take yours and don't let your hubby prevent you from doing it and if he does, drop the kids at grandma's and go out for a while, thats what I used to do :)

As far as your hubby wanting sex right now I'd let him know that although you love him very much, right now you need to be able to function and since you're exhausted its just not the right time, you will let him know when you're ready and able. Your body has gone through 3 pregnancies and births in under 5 years, you need some time to recoup.
One thing I used to have to tell my hubby a lot was, if I get rundown and can't function you will have to take care of all the household responsabilities, that usually made him realize just how burned out I was or am and then he'd leave me alone for a while. Ask him to cuddle for the time being, you want to be close but not sexually close right now, let him know how it makes you feel, and you don't want to feel like its a burden that you have to do just to please him. I'm sure he doesn't want that either.

One last thing, your other 2 daughters need daddy right now, they will get all of mommy once mommy has had the chance to recoup and take care of the little one. Don't feel like you're neglecting them, you don't have a choice right now and in the end they will have you, it will only take a few more months to get everything all balanced out, until then ask your hubby to be more involved and to keep them busy, or if you can afford a bit of help have a nanny over a couple days a week to play with the kids. Since summer is around the corner you can probably find a young girl to come play and make lunch and that kind of stuff so you can regain your strength. The kids are very young right now and they'll have fun playing with daddy or someone else. Explain to them that mommy loves them but you're very tired right now so you got some help, or daddy is going to help...they'll kinda understand, they'll probably want to help you out too.

Wow this was long and I hope it helps a bit...I wish you all the best...

E.

S.,

I went through the same thing and know the horrific pain you are experiencing. I know a lot of people will probably disagree with me, but I just want to you know that it is okay to give up breastfeeding and feed your baby formula. You will not be a bad mother. If you can plow through the pain and continue breastfeeding, I say that you are a champ and fantastic for sticking with it! You are a trooper for having gone this long!! I, on the other hand, gave up breastfeeding. And guess what, no matter what anyone has to say about me, I DO NOT think I'm a terrible mother for giving it up. I did what was right for me and my baby. I was in so much pain, I had headaches constantly because I was trying to pump so much and could never catch up to my son's feedings, and I just dreaded feeding my sweet baby. I did not want to continue feeling like that. I made the choice to stop for the good of my baby (I just wanted to be able to take care of him without being in so much pain and feeling horrible) and myself. I feel like I avoided post-partum depression because of my decision. After drying up my milk, I was a whole new woman. I was able to focus on my baby boy and just love every minute of being a mom. I did feel lots of guilt about quitting at first, but I have a very supportive family who all said don't continue if it makes you miserable. And please, please do not listen to the women who say that you are missing out on bonding with your child if you do not breastfeed. That is completely ridiculous! I bonded more with my son once I started giving him a bottle! There are lots other of other ways to bond- reading him a book, playing with him on a mat, giving him a bath, simply giving him your undivided attention (which I know will be hard with 2 other children!). My son was breastfed for the first 3 weeks and then formula fed after that. He is a happy, healthy, beautiful 5 1/2 month old...and he has not been sick a day in his life. I just want you to know you should to do what is right for you and your baby and not worry about anything else. The guilt will pass. My advice is to take the advice of the other women to see if you can get through this rocky part of breastfeeding, but if not, give yourself permission to let it go.

As for your husband, just let him know you are overwhelmed and he is making things even more stressful by pressuring you for sex. After the children go to bed, try to spend some quality time together...maybe just laying in bed together or giving each other massages. My husband and I just recently laid in bed for hours talking about when we met and those first couple of years together. That may also help to get you in the mood.

Good luck and take care of yourself!
-K.

Hi S.~
I think a majority of moms have been in your shoes trying to balance life. As far as the breastfeeding try and keep going with it. It sounds like you may have a plugged duct which may be what the lump is. Keep massaging it out. I actually had one about a month ago and I've never had any BF issues. My son was 11 months old and all of a sudden I get this really painful lump. I almost went to urgent care (it was over the weekend and I didn't have a doctor yet). As painful as it was I just kept massaging the area and breastfeeding a little more often and drinking lots of fluids.

Also it's still normal to feel a little "blue" at 2 months post partum. My advice - try not to stress out. I know that's easier said than done. I've been there. The stress also affects your BF. Are there any other moms/friends that can give you support? Try local groups too.

Good luck! Paula G.

Go to Babies R Us and look for a breast shield. I had to use one with my first son b/c I had flast nipples. The breast shield covers your nipple and has a little "nipple" that sticks out so your child has something to suckle one and it brings your nipple out and releases the milk. I also had mastitis with my second child; but I would feed him on the sore breast first to relieve the pressure off my breast and that helped clear it up. The breast shield will also help stop the spread of the thrush between your son's mouth and your breast; just be sure to wash it with soap and water between each feeding. I hope this helps and good luck hun I know how painful those can be!

My sister also went through the thrush thing then had mastitis, she was able to pump and still give my neice breast milk even though from a bottle. The only suggestion I have really is to take a deep breath, maybe try a nipple sheild on the breat you are feeding from that might help with the soreness since it is hard plastic to give the baby something to latch on to, that might also help on the other side where the lump is to give you a chance.

All of your other fears sound pretty normal also just let your girls know you love them whenever you can, extra hugs never hurt anyone. Let that man of yours spend extra time with the girls if you think they feel left out, maybe that will tire him oout too :).

Lastly try to take a few extra minutes( I know that is comical) for yourself, bubble bath candle lights or even an extra long potty break something to regroup and keep you grounded you cant take care of anyone if you dont take care of yourself.

Good Luck and God Bless.

The lump sounds like it might be a clogged milk duct. Try massaging the breast several times a day, especially that area, massaging towards the nipple to get the clog to break up.

Are you still taking prenatal vitamins? You should still be taking vitamins while you're nursing. You may also benefit from exercising (taking the kids for a walk or something) -- it may be something you and your partner could do after he gets off of work. Instead of sapping energy, I always feel more energized when I exercise regularly. Get plenty of sunshine. And give your partner some sex. How long does it really take? The payoff is worth it, even if you don't "get into it." Maybe after you reconnect like that, you can use the "just after" time to tell him how you're feeling, and give him a chance to help you out from time to time.

About the money fears -- go to daveramsey.com and see if you can find his radio show locally; if not, you can listen live online from 2-5 pm Eastern. You can maybe find his books in the library -- they're really good resources.

Bottle feed the baby; concentrate on getting better, and give yourself a break!!!!!!!!!

S.,
my advice would be to take a break--get away for a bit--even if you just leave your partner with the kids and you go and have a glass of wine and a long bath--quiet and uninterrupted (if you are worried about the wine and breastmilk, just pump and dump the next feeding). A good nights sleep would also be helpful.You do have a lot going on and on top of being ill(mastitis) and tired (3 kids under 5).Motherhood=guilt(about everything) but we must take care of ourselves to take care of others. Also, as mothers, we want everything to be perfect for our kids, but sometimes, we just have to do the best that we can.The kids will be fine and will survive. If you love your kids(and I can tell that you do), the details like if you breastfed for 6 months vs 2, is not as important--and in 10 years wont matter that much. Let people help you and dont be so h*** o* yourself.

Wow! You do have your hands full; I really empathize with you! I have a baby about the exact same age and we have gone through the thrush thing as well, which was new for me as my daughter never did have it. I did have mastitis with her though. Is that breast engorged, too, since he isn't really able to nurse from it? Maybe it would help to place and really warm washcloth over it and express some milk by hand before the baby tries to latch on. So I was told, it is really best to continue letting baby nurse from the affected side. For the sore nipples I had from thrush, I used lanolin cream and Playtex cooling gel pads. They were GREAT! You just have to wipe the gel off with a wet cloth before nursing. Sorry, don't know what to tell you about hubby. Mine is deployed so I definitely don't have that issue! Hope it all works out for you. Keep up the good work!

I had a ton of trouble with clogged milk ducts. You still have a clog somewhere....if you can't squeeze it out in a hot shower, my lactation consultant suggested using a disposable diaper....put the hotest water you can possibly stand in it and then soak your breast and then squeeze. You may need to alternate hot and cold and the clog will move down. You need the moist heat to loosen it. Good luck

S., I feel your pain! I have 3 kids ages 5, 3, and now 11 months so I know how it feels to be pulled in several directions! As for the breastfeeding/mastitis I would continue to Breastfeed, it sounds like that is what you want to do. When the baby is feeding massage the lump, it sounds like a clogged milk duct. (I am a labor and delivery nurse for 10 yrs)
As for your partner, tell him how you feel and that you just aren't in the mood and feel very overwhelmed right now. See if you can find someone to watch at least the older 2 for a few hours if not all day and get yourself a break. My parents are wonderful and do this for me once a month and it makes a huge difference!
Signs of PP depression/blues
Crying for no reason
Very easy to cry at anything
If you ever feel like or even think about not caring for the baby/kids and want to hurt them make sure you get some help right away!

I would go ahead and talk to your OB and let them know what is going on with you and how you feel. Try to find a moms club in your area they can give you help and relief also!

Hi S.,
Many people will probably disagree with me on this, but supplement with formula if you have to. If it isn't working out well right now, and has you all stressed out, it is not worth beating yourself up over it. You can always go back to breastfeeding exclusively when you are feeling better. You need to take care of yourself and find a compromise so that you can find some peace of mind.

One thing I didn't see mentioned by the other responses was to try a nipple shield. This may help your son with latching on and will be more comfortable for you. You can buy one for about $6 at Babies R Us. They are made by Medela. It was a life saver for me and helped me to breastfeed my son for a full year. He wouldn't latch on and this ended up being the only thing I could do to get him to Breastfeed. I would try it!

I think we all got the milk duct clogs. As everyone says- hot shower and massage. As for the nippl epain. Your doctor can perscribe "Dr Jack Newman's Nipple Cream" It is AMAZING. You have to go to an apothecary to hav eit filled. They mix it there, and put it in a tube or a little jar. It has a pain killer, and something to heal the nipples. This stuff is amazing! I had to stop breast feeding my son because I lost chuncks of my nipples. I started using this and healed up, and was able to start breast afterwards. (I pumped while healing) You can use this while breastfeeding too, it wont hurt the baby.

We all hurt for you. Reading your story took me back a few years. All the problems you are going through, we went through too. You are not alone!

Look up La Lechee League (not sure of the spelling) and see if there is a number in your area and talk to them about what has happened. They will be able to give you some really good advice and keep you on the right track to feed.

S., I too would agree that supplementing with formula is nothing to feel guilty about. With our first son, breasfeeding was not working out from the very beginging and I had my mom calling from overseas telling that I am a bad mom if I do not breastfeed.I was so stressed out and I did not even have 2 other kids to take care of.
Tell your doctor about how you're feelling, maybe it is a depression. If you have family/friends around ask for help. And tell your partner to stop being a baby(you've got enough of those:)), it has only been 2 1/2 months since you've given birth. Go on the vacation for a weekend and leave him with he kids .....it will take away his sex drive just like that..LOL

Even though it has been a few weeks since the thrush, I would not be surprised if that is what is still causing the mastitis. . . . . .

ASODOPHILLUS DOES WONDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thrush/yeast infection is an over growth of back bacteria in the body. When you take antibiotics they kill both the good bacteria (ie asodophillus) and the bad bacteria. So if you have it all killed off in your body you may think this is good, but it is not. It is now an open field for the bad bacteria to grow again and not me contained by the good bacteria.

My daughter had a BAD case of thrush/yeast my naturalistic doctor told me to get some asodophillus from the health food store. I put in on my nipple so the baby could have some when she nursed and then I also took in internally. I also stayed away from sugar and white floor (which turns to sugar in the blood) Because sugar feeds yeast!! I took it multiple times a day and it was the ONLY thing that actually worked. The antibiotics would only supress the infection just for it to come back again shortly or never completely go away.

asodophillus is what is in yogurt. but if you buy in the capsule, it is SO much more potent and that is needed to kill the thrush/yeast.

(Probiotics are the same thing as asodophillus)

Good luck!

H.~mother of three, military wife and totally interested in the natural side of things!

Tea bags that are warmed in water will help the soreness. Warm compresses on your breast that is sore will help also. I am a mother of 3 and I breast fed mine.
It is very overwhelming to have your hands full with kids. Try to relax and enjoy the kids and your partner. New routines will develop and things will get easier. When we get stressed the whole family senses it. "moms are the glue of the house"
I will keep you in my prayers as well.

Hey there.... I am 31 with three kids as well..... I can understand where you are coming from! I have a 6 yr old, a 2 yr old and an 9 week old. Three kids is SOOOO much more than two it seems! for some reason, it has been a HUGE adjustment for us. I dont really have any advice for you, but just know that you aren't crazy or weird for feeling this way! I feel crazy most days, I feel like i never get anything accomplished other than cleaning up messes and just surviving most days! :) Just try to keep breastfeeding and pumping if you can, but dont feel guilty if you have to introduce formula. You are doing all that you possibly can! Dont exhaust yourself just trying to do all the "right" things. ("right" is different for everyone!) Good luck and i hope you feel better soon!

I had my daughter a month early and she was given a bottle in the hospital because her blood sugar driped too low. I thought she got nipple confusion and I felt like a failure because she drank the bottle so good and we were having latching problems. After we left the hospital I tried to breastfeed exclusivly. but our firt visit to the pediatrician squashed that because she had lost too much weight and my milk was not coming in good. So we had to supliment with formula. I pumped every 2 hours and was getting 1/2 ounce from both breast. My nipples got sore and little bubbles of clear liquid on them but I pressed on and used nipple cream. I finally I gave up pumping and just let her breast feed 1st then I gave her the bottle. She usually takes 2 bottles a day and breast feeds the rest and now she can't go to sleep without breastfeeding. and if I pump I get 4 ounces now(the baby always gets more than you can pump) And I stoped feeling guilty. I have a history of depression and was feeling espically bad cause of the breastfeeding issue. I had 3 different people tell to enjoy her at 3 different times but I didn't listen till the 3 time and now I enjoy the time we spend together. I also see a therapist, someone I can talk to. Please don't think of it as down in the dumps. It sounds like post-partum and you should see someone you can talk to. Tell your husband how you feel and if he is a good man he will understand. my husband did. Good luck and remember it's up to you if you decide to bottle. Don't let anyone make you feel bad if you decide to bottle feed.
C. T.

S.,
Take a deep breath. It's all going to work out! Life can get really hectic; we all are right there with you on that one. I'm all for breastfeeding exclusively because it's the best for baby. However, if you just can't do it--and you really sound like you're giving it your all--don't feel guilty about supplementing a formula bottle between nursing to give your breasts the chance to heal properly. It's okay! You must learn to take care of your health first or you get nowhere fast. When you get better, resume nursing 100% if you want. With regard to the other kids...ask other trusted adults for help. This is really hard for me to do. You sound like the kind of person who thinks she has to be a super mom. You are already! You're juggling so much right now, and asking all of us here at Mamasource for help just proves you want to be the best you can be. You need to recognize when you need help and how to ask for it. Your partner needs to take the kids out for a fun afternoon to let you get some rest. If he really goes out of his usual way to make you happy you need to thank him. You may not like to hear this part, but if you can get some rest while they're out, show him later on that night how you appreciate his efforts. The intimacy will bring you both closer together and give you a chance to rekindle your love. I still remind myself that my husband needs physical intimacy to feel love. We as women need the emotional stuff first, right? When you have the chance read THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES. It's an eye opener! The book will help you see that by withholding sex you're not allowing your partner to give you love, that it's his love language. If you can just give in to your physical needs in the bedroom, you both will find that you'll be more of a team in other aspects of your life. You'll be amazed at what this will do for you! Talk to him and let him know how you feel. I've been married to my husband for almost thirteen years as well. We've got a strong relationship even though he's been in the Army our entire marriage! I can't even tell you how many deployments and training exercises have kept us physically apart, but I just want you to know that it will get better. You just have to communicate...verbally and physically. God bless you!