Bored and Feel Stuck

Updated on February 25, 2011
D.D. asks from Portland, OR
14 answers

I don't know what to do....I have been at my current job just about 14 years. I get 3 weeks of paid vacation plus sick time and a few personal days. I am also the insurance holder (my husband doesn't have insurance offered at his job). Plus there are a few other nice benefits I have here.
Here's the problem - this should be a good year for us. We are finally coming to a point where all our credit debt is paid off. We will finally for once have some extra money! I had set up this little 5 year plan for us and it actually worked. I was all happy and excited and thought - GREAT. I can quit my job, go part time. Things will be good. I am so tired of working 40 hours a week. I leave the house at 7 everyday and don't get home til 5:30PM. I miss being with my kids. I have never had the chance to spend anytime with them. I'm also really bored at my job. I'm really comfortable here and its not TOO hard and I get paid decent, but I am so BORED.
I'm really stuck and don't know what to do. My youngest will be in kindergarten this year. If I ended up going part time, I would lose so many benefits, plus I would be stuck trying to find good health insurance which will probably be SO expensive. I just really need some good advice. I think I know what I need to do....even if I am bored. But I miss being with my kids and its so hard. Has anyone else had to make this decision? I keep telling myself to stick it out and just stay. But some days I am just miserable and almost in tears.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from Chicago on

I'd love to be home to! Let's get together for coffee and swap stories...I am so in the same boat you are....!

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

I would ask for a new assignment. Jobs are too hard to get. Jobs with benefits are a thing of the past. You are providing for your family financially and providing insurance. That's a tremendous blessing. If it were me, I would make the most of the time I have with my kids and put in for every vacation day possible. Use that good income to better the family and to do fun things together.
Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Keep the job and address the boredom. Let your boss know you are ready for a new challenge and ask for a new assignment. See if you can transfer to a differant division or location closer to home. If there is no way to spice up your job - turn your attention to planning a family vacation and use the office time googling good deals!!

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.V.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I'm in the opposite boat. Here in Michigan Jobs are SCARCE! I went to college for 4 years with four small kids struggled to get through. I worked for roughly 4 years and had a couple of bad employers in a row so decided to stay home for awhile (not realizing the job market was going to get so bad). Well that has turned into 6 years! I love my kids very much and have enjoyed the time with them, but some days I wish I had a job to go to. With such a large family we are always broke and I feel like sometimes it's my fault. I think the grass is always greener on the other side..especially if we are starting to feel stagnant. Good Luck!

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.P.

answers from New York on

Look for a new job. Don't give up your existing job, but take a few days off, or lock yourself in a room on a weekend and update your resume. Look for something closer to home, with better hours.

If you are bored, you aren't doing the best job you can. You could end up "sticking it out" just to get laid off, because they can tell your heart isn't into it. And being home, especially if all your kids are in school isn't necessarily the answer, because that is maybe a different kind of bored, and you do lose the health insurance, etc.

My advice, look for a job you love, and one that gives you more time for your family. Don't settle.

3 moms found this helpful

S.D.

answers from Phoenix on

I am hearing you need some more fun in your life to balance the work and bordeum you feel on a day to day basis. That is hard to find when your gone that many hours a day. Everyone gets to a place where they need CHANGE in something. And it may not be your job . But it could be an area that can change. It would be nice if you can work on something eles in your life to make you happy during the bored times throughout your day. Not sure what that is, not sure what you do or if you have down time at work to escape and do something fun for an hour each day on lunch break. I guess I would evaluate making some changes in some areas and avoid quiting right now and see if that fulfills your needs. If it is your kids that you want to be around more and involved in school, then part time work seems to be a priority. Debt is great to pay off.......Congrads on that.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Take one of those three weeks of vacation - go somewhere with your kids - anywhere! Spend a little more money on an AMAZING trip that no one in the family will ever forget - even if it means your 5 year plan turns into an 8 year plan ;-)
Take the family to Europe or something - go nuts. When you get home, make sure you look at your calendar each month and do something different. We will randomly find a hotel or resort in MI or WI and just spend one night or a weekend there. Take the family to Shedd. Go on a random road trip. These things can be costly, but are SO worth it for your peace of mind.
...in the end, of course, my advice is to hold on to that health insurance...it is SO valuable (speaking from someone who has to pay privately and it is AWFUL and EXPENSIVE) and your other perks...and remember to sing, dance, and wear red lipstick...when not at work ;-)

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.R.

answers from Orlando on

It's not the exciting thing to do, but you said it yourself, you should stick it out. You are very lucky to have what you have in this economy. You could look for something else while still working, but, even if you get something else, it may not be stable, the current economy is a roller-coaster, if you know your company is stable, stay. I was laid off a year ago, and I'm still looking, I am also single and the sole provider for my child, it has been extremely difficult- enough said... :) Try to find ways to liven up your current situation, you've been there 14 years, you are bound to be bored, you're human! I'm not sure what kind of work you do, but maybe you could look for classes outside of the office that they will pay for that correlates to your job. For example; to enhance computer skills, take a power point class. These kinds of classes will get you out of the office on company time and learning something new, a perk for you and them. I don't know how big your office is, but maybe you could start planning "team building" experiences. Companies will usually pay expenses for them (within a budget) and it will allow you to plan something fun for the team, and you could maybe do them monthly or quarterly. Another perk for you regarding boredom, and a perk for them. Can you see the direction I am going? You might have to get creative, but there should be ways to get you out of the boring routine. Also, maybe you could take leave of absence? This would give you some extra time for yourself. You could look into what is required for it. Anyway, I hope some of this helps. I know it's not the princess ending, but keep your chin up and hang in there. Most are not as lucky as you. Take Care-

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.M.

answers from Boston on

DON'T give up health insurance. One thing can throw your whole lives for a loop. Money can always be found or cut back, but heaven forbid something happen - no insurance will undo your whole family.

My husband was just diagnosed with cancer at 40. No one could have forseen that. The one thing that we've said is "thank heavens we have good insurance." In the past 3 days we've probably had $10,000 worth of tests.

So IF, and that's a big if, you can definately get other insurance, go ahead and quit. But if you can't, stick it out.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

As far as health insurance, check in your state. Here in Utah there is a childrens health insurance that is super cheap. And you don't have to be dirt poor. Health insurance for adults is harder to come by. We are in the same situation right now. We haven't come up with a solution yet.

I feel your pain. I worked at a job I hated for 7 yrs just so I had the benifits. It's a toss up. You have to have insurance, but it's so expensive. Good luck. I can't wait to see others responses.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't know you but I can just feel your misery...as a fellow mama...I am sorry you are struggling. In tears and miserable is no way to live.

This is way out from left field but have you thought of quitting? You mentioned your credit card debt is paid off..that is half the battle there..way to go! How about you and your hubby sit down and make another plan. Don't quit right away but have a plan that you will do so in the near future and work like heck to make it happen. I think it may amaze you how quickly your spirits will lift and your focus will be on your goal to quit. If you and your hubby and kids are on board then you can move mountains to make it happen. You can make up for some lost time with your kids and volunteer at their school..field trips....be home and emotionally available more...not miserable and in tears....that is no way to live life. It sounds like the insurance is the major reason you are working...check out every private option available...ask around...(ask mamapedia) Good luck with whatever you choose....I hope life starts looking brighter for you soon.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

I feel bad for you-in this economy-you are very fortunate-I'm sure you know that-and benefits-that's a plus-paid vacation-what's that? Can't you make some safe changes?

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.H.

answers from Detroit on

I know the job market's not the best but it never hurts to look. Long term, have you thought about going back to school?

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.A.

answers from San Francisco on

I understand your dilemma because I used to be a working mom on the merry go round of life. I would hate having to pick up my kids late from daycare and then only to spend a little time with them in the evenings. Have you ever thought of a career in network marketing? A network marketing career would allow you to work from home and get health benefits from the DSA (Direct Selling Association).

I am a network marketing professional and I started my career about 5 years ago to make a little extra income while being at home with my kids. It's worked out great, but now I'm ready to kick it up to another level to really make a larger paycheck because I have a teenager that will be going to college in a few years.

I am an Arbonne consultant and I am happy to share more about what I do and the network marketing industry. I love what I do and I dont' feel bored or trapped in a job. You can check out Arbonne at my website www.LauraAhTye.MyArbonne.com or email me at ____@____.com luck in finding something that will allow you to be home with your children more. They grow up so fast. I can't believe my daughter is already 15 and my son is 10.

T.L.

answers from St. Louis on

Can you take a reduction in hours and still keep your benefits? After being with an employer for 14 years I would think you would have something to negotiate with them. For most insurance companies you only have to work 32 hours to be considered a full time employee.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions