Boarding School???

I attended boarding school for high school. It was a wonderful time for me and I HAD to go. My parents were in Saudi Arabia and I was in Germany. The staff was very involved with activities and guidance for us. They cared for us and about us. It was a Christian school so certain things were restricted but it didn't feel restricting.

How involved are the staff at this school? Does the school provide activities for the students? What's the "feel" of the school? Is it a place parents put their problem children? Is it a strong academic atmosphere? Are the students expected to be mini adults and care for themselves? Why does she want to go? Where is this school located?

Lots of questions.

Do what's right for you and your family. Good luck.

I would really have to be hard-pressed for a concrete reason to send my child to boarding school.

In this situation, particularly. Having a part-time job and paying rent means that she may not have time enough to study. (Sounds a bit Jane Eyre-ish to me, truthfully....don't parents usually pay the 'room and board' part of boarding school? Or is this a nice 'last-stopping point' for girls that would have been otherwise kicked out of their homes?)

I would want my son home because those would be the last five years or so that we might be sharing with him in a real hands-on parental capacity under the same roof. I would want to know who his friends were, who were the influences in his life. I would want to be present with him on a daily basis. I would NOT want him having to live with complete strangers at the ripe old age of 12 or 13. They could be great adults, certainly, but leaving my son to be raised and influenced by people who are strangers to me is completely out of the question.

Having their own rooms, too, is worrying, lest kids isolate themselves.

I wonder if there isn't a bit of glamour about boarding schools that perhaps your daughter read about in a young adult novel? Unless the home situation is untenable and you are refusing to change it (which was my situation: my sis and I were threatened with boarding school because the adults refused to parent us), I would be very reticent about this. I can understand a younger kid liking the glamour and allure of boarding school (the fictitious kind), but wonder how many of the kids at the school are there for academic study and 'good upbringing' and how many are there just because their parents don't want to deal with them. Having to work part-time and pay rent.... that says a lot to me. Not good, IMO.

Only you can answer that question for your family.

(Not that it matters, but MY answer for MY family would be "HELL to the NO"!)

I'm not a fan of boarding schools mainly because I don't believe a parent's job is done when a child is 14. And it's hard to parent when you're not with your child.

That being said, every situation is unique and I think some kids probably benefit greatly from boarding school. I think I would have actually!

I would consider what is best for my particular child. Really search your heart and seek guidance.

Good luck.

If it was what my child wanted and they had proved themselves trustworthy I would support them.
As for those who seem to think that a part time job will hurt her ability to study, I doubt it, it is not like teens spend all their free time hitting the books, and working a few hours to pay rent will help them learn responsibility and help prepare them for adult life. I worked 40 hours a week minimum from the time I was 14, and got straight As, as did many teens I knew growing up, in fact those of us with jobs and responsibilities often seemed more focused at school and did better then our peers who had too much free time on their hands to party.

Is she mature enough for it?
Is she independent enough?
How far away would it be?
How are her study skills?
Does she socialize well and easily?
Are there other siblings' feelings to consider?
How often can you visit and how often can she come home?
Have you visited it?
Do you know any current or former students that can tell her more about it?

There is a ton to consider, so more details would help your decision making process. I know I would have LOVED to go to boarding school, and had always begged my parents to send me. I rarely saw my parents during high school, anyways, because I was so busy with school, sports, choir, friends, and my job. However, I would have missed out on a ton of time with my little brothers, who I drove to/from school every day and I was able to watch over them.

Is your daughter a problem child that you want out of your house? If not, I feel she is a bit young to turn out of the house and be employed. STILL Need MUCH more background information.

What are the benefits to the school? Do you feel personally that she is emotionally prepared for this or mature enough to do this at her age? How far is the boarding school so if she has a break can she travel home? How is her attitude now at home? What is the student to "parent" ratio? Do you feel she can take on the responsibility of something like this? What are the other arrangements - meals, shopping for necessity, outside school stimulation?

There are a lot of unanswered questions in this post that I would need to be addressed before I give an honest feedback. But just remember a lot kids that have graduated high school and leave home to go to college have a hard time adjusting because they are just away from home. These are adults that should be ready to make their mark on the world. Your daughter may not be emotionally mature enough to handle it all on her own.

Absolutely NOT. And the fact that you are considering such an idea from a 12-13 year old concerns me. I would not even entertain the idea.

A teenager NEEDS direction from their parents. Girls especially need direction from their parents to ensure that they make healthy relationship decisions, and healthy decisions about their bodies. Their PARENTS, not someone hired by a school who lives in a dorm with them. WHY would an adult live in such a situation? Because they have no children or family. I don't want someone with no kids "raising" mine!

Teens are absolutely NOT mentally equipped to be living in an apartment by themselves, going to school, AND holding down a part time job. Yes, I know it's been done....I moved out at age 17. But I really WANTED my mom to guide me. I needed her and my stepdad, I just didn't know it or want to admit it.

Moving out of the parents' house is a college level living...and even college students aren't mentally ready most of the time (which is why so many end up flunking out and living in mom and dad's basement!)

The road for kid-to-adult independence needs to be taken in small steps with lots of love and logic guidance from parents. I absolutely would NOT send my child to boarding school at age 15 when they have so much growing that needs to be done under mine and their father's guidance.

Finally, boarding schools are for kids who have issues or for kids of absentee parents who don't have time to raise their own children (or want to). I'd never send my kids to boarding school simply because it would send a very negative message to them about who they are and their relationship with my and their dad. We love them and WE want to be their parents.

Personally, no way. I am enjoying the last few years with my girls being at home so much. They enjoy being part of our family on a day to day basis and we aren't done with them yet. I cannot imagine anything a boarding school could offer them that would be more valuable then 4 more years of living with our family.

I'm sure there are circumstances for some who would make this a good option but for my kids, not a chance!

not a chance would I send a freshman kid to a boarding school. if she is wanting to get away maybe her current school is not fitting her needs. If you can afford a boarding school you can afford a small private school. Start searching private schools and let her pick the final one.

Addressing the "should." It entirely depends on your finances and your home situation. Would this be beneficial to your daughter's education and home life? Would it cause a strain in any way? Does she want this for her education or because friends are doing it? Is there a boy involved? Would she do well in that type of environment and get her studies done without parental involvement being in the same living space?

My little brother went to boarding school from 9th - 12th grade. He did amazingly and loved it. He had been going to a school that really didn't offer him the challenge that he was looking for, and he was socially pressured and bullied which took a big toll on his self esteem. I think it was good for him to get some space from my dad and step mom too, and at school he was surrounded by a lot of adults who took interest in him and his studies. Over the breaks he'd come home to visit. He is in law school now, at the top of his class. He received a full scholarship too, after doing so well in high school. I'm really proud of my brother and think boarding school was a great solution for him.

For me to make a choice like your making, I'd need much more information than just what the sleeping situations would be like. I'd want a whole picture of what my child's life would look like, emotionally, socially, academically, physically, etc. If the benefit of them outweighed the drawbacks (good grief I'd miss my kids!!), I suppose I'd really need to think about letting them go. Sometimes we've got to sacrifice our own wants for our kid's lives. I can't imagine sending my children to boarding school, but if it became a possibility and my kids wanted it, I'd certainly do the research.

Impossible to answer, really, without a ton more information.

But it's interesting that your post only mentions the accommodations. Nothing at all about any academic reasons for sending her, or any other special things about this school (is it...focused on arts and she wants to be in the arts? Or is it a science magnet school and she is wanting to go into science? Or it's noted for producing amazing students who go on to do great things? Or she has other reasons for wanting to be away from home for school, such as lots of siblings who distract her from studies and she wants to be a very serious student?....)

Not a word of academics, just mention of the accommodations. If all she's focused on is the idea of her own "apartment," she is being a kid and loving the idea of playing house.

If there are other, REAL reasons for sending her, those are the ones to look at.

It's funny that most of the 'parenting' arguments are what boarding school parents say about day school parents (dayschool parents just transportation, finance, and embarrassments to their kids... No real parenting, no real family time, kids learned Theyre not wanted or respected.). It's just one of those funny things.

Boarding schools are as different from each other as day schools are from each other.

The accommodations of the school would be fairly low on my list / I would never send my son to a school based purely on accommodations.

Curricula
Extracurricular activities
Ethos
Location
Connections
Accommodations
Etc.

Interesting blog. Not every 7th grader wants to get away from their parents. They're only 13 yro....just entering teenhood. You are very lucky to have the opportunity to send your daughter to boarding. There are no boarding schools here, so that is probably why most of the kids here that age don't think about getting away from Mum and Dad. Most here don't think about that until they turn 15 or 16, since it's more of a possibility at 16 here. Anyhow... if your daughter is excited about it and obviously feels she's ready, then send her. This way she will have the opportunity she wants, and you won't hear her say, "I wish you would have let me go to boarding school, why didn't you?" The worst thing that can happen is that she won't like it, so you just don't send her there the next year. Chances are, she'll love it. Most boarding schools are top notch schools and look good on college resumes. It also will give her exeriences she can use like learning to live away from Mom and Dad, (She'll have to do that when she goes to college anyway, so why not give her a step up?) learning to be responsible, learning to study without being asked, and learning how to make new friends. I say, "Go for it!"

Opps just read that you said "High School" that makes a big difference in my answer. Actually it kinda seems like a good way to teach responsibility. If you fully check it out and it provides a good education, then why not? For me, it would also depend on how far away the school is.

I would check the labor laws in that State and for that age.
If this is legit etc.

Boarding school is expensive. Besides tuition.
Then, what about college? How is that being funded?
All of this, takes tons of money.

I went to boarding school for a year. It was one of the top schools. I saw, all scenarios of kids there. But they didn't make you work and pay your own rent.

yes-it sounds amazing!

Why is she trying to get away so fast for one thing? I would check out the security of the place, policy on boys and girls "visiting". How often the "parents" check on the kids. I would be a nervous wreck to send my 7th grader and don't think I could do it. Every kid and family is different. You need to sit and have a very seroius discussion into this and make a pro and con list, a list of what she would be responsible for to do ALL ON HER OWN and make sure she really understands the scope of this. What is the policy on how often and when a student can come home? I can think of a million questions I would need answers to before I would even consider it a a good option. Good Luck!

Where is the school, how far from home, what is the curriculum...is it special or just regular high school, she may well change her mind if she meets a special boy too. Then she won't want to leave him.