Birthdays?

Updated on October 04, 2010
S.S. asks from San Antonio, TX
17 answers

Okay, so I'm curious how other families celebrate their children's birthdays every year. Do you have a big party for each of your kids every year? Just celebrate dinner with family and save the big parties for special years? How much money do you spend each year for a child's party, presents, etc? We definitely make our kids feel special and celebrated on their birthdays, but sometimes wonder if its necessary to spend alot of money to do that. Just curious what other families do . . .

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much for taking the time to respond everyone! Where we live right now, it feels like EVERYONE competes with each other to have the biggest/most expensive birthday party. It was nice to read everyone's diverse responses- thanks for making me feel "normal" for wanting to stick to a budget and do what my kids want, not necessarily having a "big" party with friends every year just because "everyone else is doing it."

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

We do special dinners and cake each year. Whether we do a big friends party or not depends on the finances. Last year for my son we did a big class Tae kwon Do party because I got it for $100 instead of the normal $300! My daughter who's birthday is around Halloween then got a Halloween party with lots of candy, pumpkin bowling, gorey games and pizza!

As for presents, I usually do about $30-$50 worth of presents that are things I know other family wouldn't think to get but are needed... new shirts, bedding, towels, etc.

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

We have a birthday party for each kid once they starts asking for one. Their first birthday, we just have family over for dinner and a photo op. ;)

If we throw them a party, then there are no gifts from us. If they want a gift, then, there is no party.

Our 2 year old this year, is VERY articulate, so she wanted to go to a bounce house place for her 2nd birthday..and has 2 older brothers, so she asked for a party on her 2nd birthday. The boys didn't ask until they were 4.

When our son turned 6, he wanted to swim with the dolphins at Sea World, so we went, that's what he got....no friends invited, just our family.

This year, he's turning 8 and he wants a zip line in the back yard, so we are going to do that and he can invite a few friends over.

When our other son turned 4 years old this year, we hired a company to bring over 15-20 reptiles and the kids learned a TON. They were able to hold the snakes, a baby turtle, and they even brought a 75 pound python. If fact, the parents loved the party....and it was mellow.

It's NOT about the money, it IS about the experience. They are going to get a bunch of plastic junk from everyone else. I want them to remember their birthdays fondly and they will never remember the presents.

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

i use a dave ramsey/cash envelope type system with all of our finances... i have three children, and put $30 each month into their bday envelopes - so that gives me $360 per kid per year for bdays. as they get older, it's up to them how we spend it. this year, my boys(whose bdays are just a few days apart) are turning 5 and 8, and they want to combine their money and spend 2 nights at great wolf lodge(we have done this in the past as well) rather than have a bday party. their bdays are right near xmas, so they're kinda "over" a bunch of gifts, and look forward more to a mini-vacation than a party. typically, we either do one night at great wolf OR a party with lots of friends and a nice gift - on the actual bday, we ALWAYS go have pizza, a cake of their choosing, and play games at chuck e cheese. i don't think there's a right or wrong answer, but that's how we do it :)

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J.W.

answers from Seattle on

It depends on how we are financially at the time. There have been years that we just do a small gathering with family. Other years we do big parties and a couple times we have paid for tickets for about 10 people to go to the Fair with us to spend the day at the fair for my sons bday. That gets expensive though, once you factor in tickets, gas, and food.
If you can't afford alot of money just do a little party. Close friends and family. Bake a cake instead of buying one. Go to the dollar store for decorations and wrapping paper. You can make it a really fun day for your child without spending a couple hundred dollars.

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A.G.

answers from Spartanburg on

Another late answer..........funny that you asked this ON my daughter's birthday!

We let them have a choice every year whether they have a party or not. They can either have a "big" party at home with tons of friends, but not a lot of cost (just a few decorations, homemade theme cake, and cheap goody bags) or they can have a couple friends (2 this year for her) and go somewhere that costs money (she chose roller skating). Sometimes the places they like are bowling, roller skating, movies, museums, putt putt, etc. We don't reserve places because you usually have to have a minimum number of guests and then it starts to add up fast. We just take a couple friends and their siblings and go have fun.

Honestly, the "parties" that they bring the most memories from are the ones where there are only a couple friends and we go do something we don't normally get to do.

On their actual birthday we just make sure as a family that we make that person's day special. I meet the kids at school for lunch. Sometimes, I decorate the house with balloons or streamers. I have also bought the helium tanks from Wal-Mart for around $30 and blown up a whole bunch of balloons and waited for them outside the school after school. I let them pick out what is for each meal -- no matter what it is! Those are MY favorite memories of my kid's birthdays!!! ;) Overall, we usually spend about $200 on their birthdays including, presents (3 total: 1-need, 1-want, 1-surprise gift), cake ingredients, and party supplies or admission fees. I try to do it as cheaply as possible.

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

For our birthdays, the child gets to pick the dinner menu. Also, they get to pick what dessert they want (they don't all like birthday cake). We sing, have gifts, and have a special family time. At some point during that week, my husband takes them out for a one-on-one dinner at the restraurant of their choice. Six months later, for their "anti-birthday" I take them out. So, they each get a one-on-one date with both of us. We don't do birthday parties, per se, but we do celebrate the gift of them. We used to do parties, but we got so tired of the spoiled brat syndrome that we saw in so many children at their parties. They are so overwhelmed and tired, and so much is expected of them on the day that is supposed to be special. We just didn't want to participate in that anymore. We do socialize a lot with our friends, so we are always having guests here. We make birthdays special by having it just be family.

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E.B.

answers from Houston on

A late answer but my son almost always just wanted a big sleepover-hard on the parents but cheap! From about third grade on he would just have 8-10 boys over and we'd order pizza and watch movies and swim. (we have a pool)
My middle child, girl, has had a beach weekend ever since she turned ten. There are county cabins at the beach ( Quintana) that we would rent for a weekend-she would get four friends and I would get one of the moms and we would leave Fri night and return Sunday. The year of Ike we went to my sister in law's farm in Lampasas instead. I may have spent a little more than on a party- but all of these birthdays have such memories, unlike the Chuck E Cheese/gymnastics ones we did when they were littler and had big groups of kids.
My youngest has a winter birthday so we have rented a hotel room and taken three friends (mom gets the roll away this time!) -we spend the night, go to dinner and a movie.
Last year we bought a place in Colorado and over the summer my girls made friends there. For my 15 yr old's birthday this year ALL she wanted was to go back to the cabin for her birthday. Her friend there that had a birthday the same week was having a big party for the two of them. I surprised her with a friend to go along and we flew up for the weekend. She got to a miss a day of school and I can assure you had a much better party there than we would have ever had here. Tickets were $175 each and I needed to go anyway to check on some construction we were doing-so it wasn't the cheapest party but it was definitely memorable.
I have always been impressed that my kids from about age 10 on would rather have these memorable parties with 3-4 friends rather than a big party with 30 friends at some "place".
Good luck.

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K.F.

answers from College Station on

II threw a huge party for my kids 1st birthday, then we kept it pretty small and intimate until they were about 5. Now when they turned 6 until present they are now 13, 12, 10 and 5 we budget $300 per kid. That includes presents, party supplies or if they want to go to say chuck e cheese or whatever. They know their budget. So usually they let me throw the party they know I will be frugal so we will get them more or a specific present from their list. This past year they are getting smart. I have one June and one July and they got together and decided to pool their money and decided to forfeit gifts and go to sea world knowing it does not cost $600 to go to sea world we gave them cash to buy all the little trinkets they wanted and they gave their brothers cash too so they could buy stuff too.
So as they got older they are getting more involved in the planning of their birthdays. But they also know they are working within a budget. Now the teen years we will increase the budget because toys don't cost as much as teen stuff does ya know? My big guy is turning 14 and I think we may raise him $100.
Anyway. I know it sounds like it is about money in our home, but it actually isn't. We do many things to make it NOT about money. We make it about kindness and recognition and thankfulness about having whoevers birthday it is, it is not about "the party" "the money" "the presents". If you ask my kids they are going to be kids and say yeah I hope I get this!! But If a grownup asks them I have over heard them say, I really like my birthday dinner when everyone says what they love about me and how I affect their lives. And that they are thankful that I was born. Everyone did my chores for me which was super cool!! I love my birthdays!!
So to their friends, they do show off, but inside (who they are) they are not focused on money.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

we spend about 100-150 on my sons birthday. its at our home, simple decorations, cake, goodie bags, invites and other little things. our son will be turning three this year and our daughter will be turning one. there birthdays are a couple weeks apart and were planning on having them together. i am thinking of a ocean theme with mermaids for our girl and pirates for the boy. we actually havent bought our son gifts. he gets so much from everyone else that we never bothered. we buy our kids a few toys durring the year. his birthday is in the middle of january and hers will be the first of feb. christmas plus the birthday gifts we go into over load with the toys. good luck.

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J.S.

answers from San Antonio on

I have 4 children ages 2-8. We do a family party on the odd years where we will go out to eat and then do some fun activity as just a family like go bowling, Chucky Cheeses, Sea World, etc. On the even years they have a birthday party but I don't invite every child from their class at school. I have my child pick the same amount of friends for the age they are turning. I usually always do the party at my house and I keep things simple. There are usually themes and I create games along with the theme.
My children always have the choice to forgo the friend party and do something else with the family. This year my 6 year old son really wanted to go bowling so he invited one friend and we all went bowling.
I'm not sure how much I spend. Probably around $100 and that includes their birthday gift. As parents we usually only get our kids one big gift for their birthday because by the time they get gifts from Grandparents and friends there is a lot of things that need to find new homes in our house.
To help make the day more special for the kids I always eat lunch with them at school. I make sure to bring their favorite food with me. My daughter loves Sushi so we sat and had sushi together.

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

I have four girls ages 3-7 (will be 4, 6, 7, 8 soon.) We have family parties. Every other year we do something nice (like at Pony Land or Chuck E Cheese) and the off years we do something smaller like a park party not at a meal time so we provide snacks. For their individual dates we do something just our family like dinner or icecream out.

It's just so much easier to have one party for everyone, especially since their birthdays are January, February, MArch, May and my sister's girls were born in April. That's 6 parties in the first 5 months of the year, following Christmas of course which makes 8! I adopted the "family party" and never looked back!

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

We spend about 200 or so on birthday parties for our kids. That includes the party and their gift. I have gone over before, but I try to keep it in that zone. I try to do a party every year because both my hubby and I lived in cash strapped households and now that we can do it for our kids, we like too!! Now we have two, so it might get a bit more challenging. I have done a couple parties at home for my son with a cute theme and games etc. Last year did a martial arts party for him at my husband's school and he loved it. I think next year we will go to Chuck E Cheese. My little on will have a couple home parties and then get some of venue parties later on. But even if they are at home, I try to invite a lot of kids and make it really special. If we don't do the Chuck E. Cheese this year I am going to rent a bounce house or something like that for the kiddos. Just how we do it, as long as the kids feel special, I don't think it matters what you spend though:)

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M.P.

answers from Houston on

I do have a party for each of my kids every year. My big boy's birthday is in April and he is now 4 and my little girl is right now in September and only so the parties are very different.

With my boy, the last two years we had gone to Monkey buziness, so it does turn out very expensive since only the place is around 300 dlls, then the cake, around 60, the food, another maybe 300, pizza, fruit and sodas.... I always expend a little extra because I do like to buy decorations (this year his party was race cars) but that is not really necessary and then the goody bags, wich depend on the amount of kids you have at the party you it can be around 4 dlls per bag aproximatelly.

For my girl. This year is at the house, with more adults and kids, since she is only two. I do not invite almost anyone from school since they still do not have the notion of "friends" (I only invited her teacher from last year since she loves her and her kids are friends with both my kids).

For this party I am focusing on decorations since I wan to take a lot of pictures, but I am making them myself, with paper flowers. The theme is butterflies. It is being cheaper because I am doing every little detail except for the food myself. For party favors I made some butterfly soaps, the bad is turning to be like 3 dlls per child. I am getting a clown that does magic tricks, face painting and balloons for $150 (and hour and a half) and then pizza (from Dominos) I do not think food will be more than 250 including a salad and drinks.

For this party I think that my most expensive thing will be the cake since I am buying it in the internet from a bakery in NY. It does not have any special design but they are delicious. I will put some edible butterflies on the top and maybe buy a fondant figure or name plaque. I think that the final cost for the cake will be around 100.

I am including little details like hand marshmallows and nice decorated popcorn bags plus butterfly cookies and my colors... always the details add up to the cost.

All this I do, because I really enjoy doing parties but you definitely do not need to expend a lot of money and still have a very nice party. I would think the basics are food with depending on what you choose can make it expensive or cheap. Cake you can get a good tasting cake at Sams or Krogers and would be extremely reasonably. The kids are going to have fun any way as long as there are other kids around, they will run and play and be happy just to be together so an entertainment is purely optional... you can still do something like arts and crafts, cheap ones from Michaels. And also the goody bags can be extremely reasonably priced. You can buy just a big bag from a mix of candies and the bags are cheap, you can even buy clear bags 20 for like 2 dlls.

In other situations, just a get together at mid afternoon for cake and sodas will do. It doesn't get any cheaper than that! No reason to no celebrate, right?

Again... as always everything is Personal Preference and Choice! There is people that simply do not care about parties and that is what works for them.

Good luck, hope I've been of help
M.

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L.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My kids both have summer birthdays so we plan picnic style parties. We have a swimming pool and lots of outdoor toys so that provides the entertainment. I usually cook - anything from burgers and dogs to a pasta bar to sandwiches. We usually spend $50 or less on presents, though I couldn't tell you what we spend on food. We usually have around 25 guests - just family. No friend parties yet. I ask what theme the kids want and make invitations and a cake in that theme. No real decorating.

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A.B.

answers from El Paso on

My boys will be 1 and 3 this year, so I haven't really had a chance to put this in practice yet, but we don't plan on having a huge party every year--maybe just the "big ones"--like 1, 5, 10, 15 or 16. We'll do a playdate or a special dinner with family every year--and, of course, we'll get them a little something--though I think the relevance/meaning of the gift far outweighs the price--like getting them something you know they'll cherish, even if it's used or homemade. I think birthday parties have kinda become a "status symbol" of parents rather than a celebration of the child's life.... Just a thought. Plus, if you throw a huge party, it makes the guests feel obligated to bring a gift--I think--and we don't want to put that obligation on other people....

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D.M.

answers from Houston on

What a great question & great answers!
We will have 3 kiddos- bdays are 11/25, mine's 12/1, (#3 will be) mid-Dec, and 12/28.
My bros & my bdays were in about the same timeline & my parents made a big deal of each of us having our own special day. We just had dinner at home with homemade cake for dessert and gifts and my paternal grandparents over. We never complained about not having parties (we never did have one). When we asked about why we didn't get store-bought cake like our friends, my dad said it's more special if it's homemade (he was the cook & baker in the house). That still sticks with me now & I don't buy cakes.
My boys are 5 yrs (soon to be 6), and will be 1 yr right after #3 is born. We've tried to have nice parties for the oldest, but it's getting harder financially as our family gets bigger. I like the idea of letting them invite the number of friends for how old they are. The past couple of years, we've had parties at home & rented a bouce house. It was so much fun for all, even the "big kids" (adults). I also ended up spending $4-500 when I added up the price of the rental, food, decorations, etc!
We try to get him one big gift he really wants since family & friends will get him little things. This year, with another new baby coming, we are switching bedrooms around & will be redecorating for him.
I am thinking we will take my oldest son & have a small party somewhere else so it's less stress on me for housecleaning, food prep, etc that I've been doing myself. He really wants to go bowling, so we'll probably just invite family & close friends to do that.
1st bdays are family only at home with cake- no big deal. This one will be really low-key since we'll have a 10 day old baby & I'll be recovering from a c-section too.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Great question. Almost every party my daughter (4) has been to has been outside the kids home. We've done them at home since she likes people over and I'm fine with it. I will admit it does feel strange telling a friend it's at my house since so many shun the idea themselves it seems. I agree it be easier someplace else, yet if thinking financially it still is cheaper to get a maid once then pay the $150+ just to go someplace.
This year was a cooking party so I had to buy ingredients, but honestly it wasn't bad. If I did it at a cooking place I would have easily had to spend $200+. Their goodies were kitchen oriented so somewhat more, but that was my choice. What mattered is every kid was having fun and they all wanted to stay the full 2 hours. In total I spent probably $100 for everything (I make the cake). For presents I bought over the last couple of months when books were on sale, etc.

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