Birthday Etiquette - Canton,OH

Updated on June 25, 2010
D.H. asks from Canton, OH
16 answers

My neighbor invited my child to his daughters birthday party. I think my child was invited as an afterthought simply because we are neighbors and my kid would see the other children at the party. My child cannot attend to to a prior engagement. Do I still send a gift? And if I do, how much is appropriate to spend? Our children do play together occassionaly. Thanks.

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

If you are good friends with the mom or if the children are good friends I would send a gift but if not I don't ordinarily send a gift if we're not attending the party.

Good luck,
K.

S.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Send a nice card..you are not attending so you don't "have to" bring a gift. Do it only if you want and feel this is right.

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A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I never ( and don't expect anyone else) to send a present if not attending the party.

3 moms found this helpful
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L.L.

answers from Orlando on

I've never bought a gift for one of my daughters friends if she didn't go to the party.

2 moms found this helpful

J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would send a card with like a 5 dollar toy. But thats just me. =)

1 mom found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hmmmm, that's a tricky question. It all depends on you really. I'm guilty of sending a present when invited and couldn't attend and also not sending one.....but it did depend on my chid's relationship with the other child. If' they're good friends and do play together, then yes I'd buy a gift around $10. If they never play together or are NOT class mates, then no I wouldn't worry about it. You can find lots of great gifts at Target or Walmart for $10 and under. Target's also known for having great "clearance" aisles in the toy department. Really great toys just marked down, I recently grabbed a few clearance toys for my kids at Target just to have around as a gift for when they get rewarded. Just look for the little red "clearance" sticker on the box and maybe you could have your child bring it to her friend on the day of the party and just let them know you're sorry for not being able to attend. : )
But don't feel obligated, just because they invited her does not mean they're expecting a gift, it's all up to you!

Take care!

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

I would just politely decline and wish them a good party. We only give gifts for the parties our kids are attending; in fact, when there have been too many invites (my daughter is part of a big pre-k class) we start turning them down because the cost of gifts gets prohibitive. I think that, in terms of gift-giving etiquette, children's birthday parties are different from showers or weddings.

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T.P.

answers from Boston on

Simply because you are neighbors & they play together, I'd send something. Maybe around $10... Plus, they are going to feel bad that your child's invite was an afterthought :)

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

It really depends on how close you guys are. I'd probably do a card and a gift card for McD's or a book store. I'd probably spend $10-15 if not attending. Imagine your horror if they send your child a treat bag or something and you didn't send something....

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

This family is a neighbor and may have simply missed getting your invitation to you. If it were me then I would give a gift if only to keep the peace in the neighborhood. It doesn't have to be expensive or even extra thoughtful. I like to give Hastings gift cards then the child can go pick out a movie. With their used DVD's and pre-viewed DVD's on sale at buy two get and then get to buy one for a dollar, we usually buy about 3-6 movies a month. I think if you know anything about the child then you can buy something more personal like a book in a series he likes to read or a particular group of toys like Hot Wheels cars....I would by a gift and give it to him before the party, when you tell them you ca't attend. You'll be inviting him to your child's birthday party eventually.

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V.S.

answers from Flagstaff on

If they are really good friends have your child pick out a small gift to send over. But if not, don't worry about it. Just say Happy Birthday and move on.

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C.P.

answers from Cincinnati on

No, but if you feel badly you can have your child draw a picture, or make a card to take over - letting them know you thought of them.

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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would have my child give a small gift and card. Afterthought or not, it's still a nice thing to do, especially if you at all value having this child as a neighbor/playmate for your child.

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I always do send a gift if my daughter cannot attend, especially if it is a close friend.

You say this is a neighbor, I most certainly would send a gift. You are neighbors and your children play together.

You don't have to be extravagant, it is the thought that counts.

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B.R.

answers from Columbus on

I always send a gift for any invitation I received-birthday, wedding, graduation, etc. It doesn't have to be expensive, though.

Because you're friends and neighbors, a small gift no more than $10 would be a nice gesture. $5 is certainly acceptable, too.

Don't assume your daughter's invitation was an afterthought or that they really didn't want her. They did send an invitation, so she was invited and wanted.

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D.T.

answers from Indianapolis on

Around here, it is only expected to bring a gift if the child actually comes to the party. Most kids around here invite everyone in their class - so each of my children get invited to at least 25 birthday parties every year! Of course we can't make half of them because of other plans. We'd go broke (and so would all the other parents!) if we felt obliged to buy a gift, even a small one, for every party invited to. That would be about 100 gifts a year!!

The gift-giving ettiquette rules are definately different for children's parties than for adult parties.

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